12 Days Of Dino Dicember #9: Killersaurus (2015)

Dinosaurs don’t kill people. People with dinosaurs kill people.

Another moving argument in the endless “dinosaurs carry law” circle of debate, fed to fatten the wallets of the dinosaur manufacturers. Or another cheap sci-fi flick about killer dinosaurs created in lab because some rich idiot had to burn some money in research for new bioweapons.

It’s also another Britishi production, as you can tell right away by the actors’ accents, them talking money in terms of “pounds”, with an opening scene about scientists 3D printing a dinosaur… which already sets up the “stupid” standard skyrocketing, as if most of the scientist acting with their mouth frozen in half-smiles wasn’t enough, and the special effects being so cheap, they just throw a “decapited” mannequin head with a wig on from off-screen to avoid showing anything.

The best actor is Steven Dolton as Prof. Peterson, he tries but like the entire small cast, acting is pretty dang wooden and not that convincing all around. Props as you can tell they were trying, and i’ve seen worse, these i can believe are actual actors, let’s say that.

To be frank i eventually wished for the production values of an Asylum flick, as most of KillerSaurus takes place in this dark laboratory-garage with minimal blue and red lights dimly illuminating anything, so it’s already not that pleasant to the eye, then there’s the fact the narrative is full of forced, contrived sequences of events as otherwise the plot just will never move, plenty of crowbarred exposition dialogues as a substitute to characters actually talking to each other like humans do, but worry not, there’s plenty of dull, boring dialogue.

Also, the execution is just incredibly awkward, which is unfortunate because the original plan of the scientist wasn’t just making a t-rex via advanced 3D printing, but he had to pivot its research in recreating lost limbs and such due to funding, and accepted to make a friggin T-Rex for a shadowy military organization, but the lab-o-saurus made a mess, hence the shutdown.

It’s not the same old shit of “dinosaur created in a petri dish” because they try to work with the limitations of the budget and focus more on the characters’ agenda, there’s some effort in that (even a little twist), but it’s one of those where nothing really happens because there’s no budget to make things happen in any sense of the term, so most of the movie is three people talking (that are never properly shown) in a dimly lit office room, no action (and almost no gore) aside from some minutes of a very slightly moving puppet dinosaur attacking and a weird monster at the very end.

And this is one where the budgetary constraints end up being an unsurmontable obstacle all the way, as the film simply stops at the end, no real resolution or pay-off, just an abrupt stop.

It doesn’t help that none of the actors seem anywhere near comfortable in their roles, and a lot of the plot it’s contrived, unimaginative and just meanders about, with director-writer Steve Lawson that doesn’t really feel at ease with this kind of genre flick. Sorry, but this is a movie that struggles to even stage a telephone conversation in a convincing way. Not quite down to the desperation hole of having the actor imitate a phone ringing like in Monsters A-Go-Go, not that.

But still, it’s not AS bad as i was led to believe. It’s very, very hard to sit through (despite it being only 68 minutes plus credits), it’s dull, it’s mostly boring, and awkward, with some atmosphere at times, acting is wooden but acceptable considering it being a very, very cheap production, still floating above the “Polonia zone” but below the “Asylum Isle” in terms of budget. Sadly the monetary limitations here just completely strangle any chance for the movie to be entertaining, or even having any kind of closure. Or actually making proper use of the decent dinosaur puppet.

Very bad, and kinda pitiable, actually.

Even so, it’s “only” 3 out of 10 material, we can go deeper.

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