Bujingai: Swordmaster PS2 [REVIEW] | Wuxia GACKT Action

You think you know the depths of the Playstation 2 library.

You don’t. You just don’t.

If this wasn’t the case, a title like Bujingai: Swormaster would have been covered by gaming Youtubers as a “forgotten gem” to the point it’s not forgotten at all anymore.

And yet, 99 % of you before know never knew there was a PS2 era hack n slash in the vein of Devil May Cry but where you play as sci-fi wuxia Gackt.

Again, the PS2 library is so big we still are finding more obscure titles to showcase.

Personally, i remember seeing this one a lot in bargain bin cases after a while, since it was distributed here by 505 Games/Gamestreeet (figures since they are an Italy based distributor), which back in the early 2000s were famous for mostly peddling ol’ budget games/shovelware by the bucketloads, so that didn’t help, but at least a PAL copy is fairly cheap and easy to find still today.

Can’t say the cover helped because sure as hell the general public wasn’t gonna go “is that Gackt?” after looking at the box art.

But yes, he gave right to the teams to use his likeness for the main character, Lau Wong, a wuxia hero that has to do the usual: sky surf on an ethereal cloud while doing the usual wuxia ballet-combat aerobics and eventually go back to Earth, 100 years after an apocalyptic event wiped out most of the population while giving survivors powers, to rid the planet of a demonic army that has holed up in the asian city of Bujingai.

And since it’s a martial arts inspired game, it just happens the head of the demon army is a former fellow martial arts student turned rival that has gone evil, as you do in these.

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International Workers’ Day Break

While we are ready to start off Melee May, today i’m gonna take a break since it’s International Worker’s Day and all.

So consider giving my EXPRESSO review of The Devil Wears Prada 2 a read, if you so desire, and since we’re on topic, no, i will not see nor review the Micheal Jackson biopic, i really don’t care, especially since it’s from the same producer of the Bohemian Rhapsody film, pity because i do like MJ.

i will be reviewing the second new Mortal Kombat film, Mortal Kombat 2, though, not on day one, but that EXPRESSO review is coming.

See you tomorrow!

Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Fist Of The Roman Star: Ceasar’s Rage 2

As i said in the review of the first Slap Them All, they quickly made a follow up game 2 years later (as in 2022 Mr. Nutz Studio released that awful Joe & Mac port-remake), simply titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Em All! 2, and while i was planning to review this next year… by coincidence i ended up playing it and finishing it far earlier than planned, so

Sure, that will leave Mission Babylon as the only new Asterix & Obelix game by Microids to review next year, but whatever,

This time around the plot is original, and concerns the theft of an important Roman insigna, the Aquila (literally “Eagle”, a golden eagle insigna), which is blamed on Lutetian friends of the Gaul duo, and so Asterix & Obelix venture to find out who actually stole the Aquila and why, before they execute the entire Lutetian village as retribution, so important is the Aquila in political leverage terms for the Roman Empire than losing it is seen as a great public shame for the reigning emperor.

It’s not a bad plot, it’s fine, and at least it’s not just Ceasar once again throwing a scheme to finally conquer those pesky Gaul villagers.

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[EXPRESSO] The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) | Legacy Girlbossing

Ah yes, the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice of fashion biz comedy-drama cinema.

Actually, yes: it’s a direct sequel, it takes into account the fact that 20 years have passed by for the characters too, the main cast is back reprising their roles, directing duties are still handled by David Frankel, even screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna is back as well, so it’s “legit”, as they once said.

I remember watching it back in the day, but since it was literally 20 years ago i did give a fresh watch…. and honestly it still holds up, it’s not perfect, but it’s funny, the satire still has some edge, it’s very memorable, lots of fun and damn that Streep performance (and Tucci’s of course).

Even so, since the trailer for this rolled out i wondered “why though?”, despite well knowing why: even if there wasn’t a book sequel to draw from, it’s the 2020s, even Twister has a legacy sequel.

My fear was that it would still be stuck in the mid-2000s…. but actually no, it’s actually the opposite, as it tackles the current issue of megacorpos, megamergers and layoff epidemic, with Andy, now a renowed journalist, getting laid off by her parent company as she is accepting an award in her field.

Now jobless, she is hired as senior writer by the fashion agency she once left, Runway, as the firm itself is facing a huge PR crisis and is at risk at being downsized into oblivion by the new management, despite still being (mostly) helmed by Miranda.

While not perfect, it’s a surprisingly good sequel that doesn’t amount to just a series of nods to the first one, and it’s arguably better than most legacy sequels we’re getting nowadays, with a cast in top form reprising their classic roles like they never left.

[EXPRESSO] The Long Walk (2025) | March Royale

Based on a Stephen King novel of the same name, The Long Walk is set in an alternative 70s America, where a totalitarian fascist rule (following some unclarified economic crisis) helds the titular “Long Walk”, where fifty young teen boys enter to represent their state and they have to walk while keeping a certain pace, and where any kind of action that involves stopping gives them a penalty, with a squadron ensure that after three strikes the runner will be shot dead, this all televised (“to inspire” economic and production growth in the nation, allegedly) and with no clear goal besides thinning the contestants to one, a single winner which will receive a big money prize and to have one wish fulfilled.

On its face, this it seems like a very late adaptation of an older King story (as this was indeed written way back in 1979) made to capture the resurgent interest in battle royales as a widespread and easily recognized concept – even outside of cinema -… and while the premise of King’s novel was indeed prescient, it still feels like its own thing since it doesn’t try to emulate the modern battle royale formula.

It has the themes, surely, but it forgoes any of the exaggerated theathrics by focusing almost exclusively to the titular “long walk”, the deadly youth marathon allegedly meant to be “inspiring”, which also conveniently works as a public execution exercise, a way to manifacture consent and to send a message to any possible young insurgents.

While not overly long itself, the direction does manage to keep the narrative focus, make you feel the insane and exhaustingly pointless death march that seems to never end, but also not bore the viewer thanks to great performances and very well rounded, engrossing teen characters.

Quite riveting.

Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! PS4 [REVIEW] | Rock Em & Sock Em Romans

Because i’m slowly turning April into the “Asterix & Obelix” month, and due to a new CGI animated film, Asterix & Obelix: The Kingdom Of Nubia, releasing this October, we’re doing more of the Microids published Asterix titles.

Since we did all the titles in the XXL subseries of Asterix & Obelix games, we’re now tackling a retro styled 2D beat em up, the fittingly titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All!

The story is based on 5 classic Asterix & Obelix stories, plus an original final act, so if you were hoping for an original story, you aren’t getting that here, but the picks are indeed some of the more recognizable and beloved stories from the comic book series, like Asterix and The Normans, Asterix In Spain and Asterix & Cleopatra.

The game is fuckin gorgeous, to the point i believe they blew their entire budget on the hand-drawn style graphics, as the cutscenes are just cheap character sprites/portraits talking at each other while the portraits just fade in an out, and while the art style it’s loyal to the comic strips, it means there also some sadly fitting “ethnic stereotypes” brought over as is from the decade olds comics, like the poor black guy that is the sightseeing dude on the pirate ship and is routinely knocked over when Asterix & Obelix casually terrorize them when traveling, or the random “asian pirate with nunchuks” mid-tier enemies that might as well have “Mickey Rooney doing yellowface” masks on.

Speaking of the cutscenes, at least they voiced these, can’t say the same for Asterix & Obelix XXXL: The Ram From Hibernia… but in similar fashion to that they cheaped out and didn’t bother to dub it in italian as well, despite the franchise being really popular here still.

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30 Years Of ROCKET LAWNCHAIR, Kombat In The Street and The Shark Summer Parter

SNK released an official video celebrating the Metal Slug’s 30th anniversary a few days ago.

The video itself it’s nothing too special, just a thank you using footage from all mainline Metal Slug games (and Metal Slug Defense-Attack too), but it ends with a message displayed on a NEO GEO cabinet: “MISSION REBOOT”.

Obviously a teaser for a potential new mailine game in the future, i’d argue about damn time since the new Saudi prince-owned SNK had been pushing out a plethora of F2P gacha titles using the Metal Slug license, ranging from crap to ok, MS Awakening was actually ok as in it was as close as you could get to a proper MS title…. for a F2P thing, so getting an actual, proper Metal Slug game would be nice.

I mean, given the current nostalgia-driven market and how it has been almost 2 decades since the last mainline MS game, Metal Slug 7, released for the DS in 2008, then ported-expanded on PSP, Metal Slug XX came out in 2009, and that version was rereleased on modern consoles back in 2018, almost a decade ago already.

So the fans have been starved enough, and this comes alongside PlayOn rereleasing a new version of the home console version of the Neo Geo hardware, the NEO GEO AES +, which will have newly made carts for the console but also will be compatible with the old ones.

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Jo Jo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes Of Heaven PS4 [REVIEW] | OVER HEAVEN

For the first time in ever, i’m actually all caught up with Jo Jo as a whole (currently enjoying reading the print volumes of The Jojolands as they get released here), the Steel Ball Run anime finally started airing/streaming on Netflix this March, so i knew i had to cover some Jo Jo related stuff, and i had this sitting in my backlog for years, waiting for an occasion such as this.

A little game called Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure: Eyes Of Heaven.

I remember this being pretty much whipped by critics and fans alike at the time… which was almost 10 years ago, fuck. But on the upside, there’s definitely enough distance now for revalution.

Developed by Cyberconnect 2, better known for the Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm series and Asura’s Wrath, but also behind the good Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure All Star Battle, which they released 3 years prior as a PS3 exclusive, Eyes Of Heaven is definitely a non-canon adventure.

While i’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum, some are unavoidable since the game sure as hell expect you to know all the main events and ending of basically all 9 series, even with them presenting a digest premise during the story, more as a memory jog exercise, don’t play this if you aren’t familiar with all JoJo series… well, aside Jojolion, which at the time of release of the game wasn’t concluded yet, not that it matters much, given the nature of the plot, but you won’t get much spoiled about that series since it doesn’t have much representation, direct or not.

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[EXPRESSO] Lee Cronin’s The Mummy (2026) | Sacrifice Unto Sebek

As the title implies, this isn’t really a remake of the classic 1932 Universal film, nor a reboot of the 1999 Frasier starring film (which is actually coming in a couple years, because we live in the past permanently in the future), but more of a new retelling of the mummy and its mythology.

Set in modern days, we have a family that – while briefly living in Cairo – suffers the disappearance of the youngest daughter, Katie, by a mysterious woman.

8 years later, the family is still heartbroken but had to somewhat moved on, until they receive the news from Egyptian authorities of Katie being found in a 3000 years old sarcophagus, which itself somehow survived a deadly plane crash.

Even stranger, Katie is found, heavily scarred, wounded, in a catatonic state but alive, so she is brought back into the family, but soon her behaviour becomes even more worrying and strange events afflict the family…

Lee Cronin’s take on the classic monster has some nice ideas to make it distinct and not just a rehash of the old mummy myth, modernizing with a touch of folk horror and some creepy ambience, but it’s not fully realized as it relies a bit too much on other horror cliches, to the point it basically pivots to be just another exorcism film with an Egyptian flavor topping.

Props for it actually taking place a lot in Egypt and involve actively egyptian characters (instead of just having scenes in Cairo at the beginning), plus there is some good gore, but it never becomes properly scary, nor it manages to escape some overdone trapping with exorcism/possession films, the good acting helps as the characters ain’t much more than functional, and the script could have used some trimming, as the runtime feels bloated.

The Mummy Resurrection (2022) [REVIEW] | Budget Mummies

Since we’re getting a new Mummy movie meant as a stand-alone thing unrelated to the old, forsaken Dark Universe, i’ve figured instead of reviewing again 2017’s The Mummy and boring myself to tears, i might be more interesting to review a random mummy themed horror film i found new on Amazon for 4 bucks and bought sight unseen.

No prior research, just unwrapped the thing from my library and saw it, for a change.

The result of this dice throw is both not good, but also kinda interesting and not as bad as i would have assumed.

Still bad, but the more interesting kind of “bad”.

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