Platformation Time Again #10: Donkey Kong 64 N64 | NSWITCH/NSWITCH2

HISTORY

I don’t think i need to explain who Donkey Kong is, heck, you wouldn’t need to do so even back in 1999, as the reboot of the series by british developer Rareware proved to be incredibly successful, reinvigorating DK for a new generation by updating it, and other phrases i’m probably gonna repeat when i eventually tackle the Country games, so i’m just stopping myself here.

Plus its not like DK became this niche Nintendo franchise fans spend years begging for a sequel that they most likely ain’t gonna get.

But for today, let’s pretend we don’t know what Bananza is, or even what Conker’s N64 game would turn out to be, for that matter.

After wrapping up the SNES trilogy of DK games with Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble in late 1996, a team of Rare employees were put to work on a Donkey Kong game for the N64….allegedly it was intended to launch for the then new N64DD add-on but most likely it was an idea by producers that quickly died when the add-on sales were shown to be exactly as low as they were expecting, after years of delays to debut into a market where the Compact Disc was indeed becoming the new norm and making cartridges obsolete.

Curiously it wasn’t even intended as a full 3D platformer, but instead as 2.5D platformer more in line with the Country series , though this version spend 18 months in developments, was ultimately scrapped (if anything of that version survives to this day, it’s being held secret by either old Rare and-or Nintendo staff, there’s no images of it circulating at the time of posting,), a lot of people that worked on Banjo Kazooie were brought in, and the game was reworked into being a typical 3D collectathon platformer in the vein of BK and it’s sequel, Banjo Tooie.

There’s a bit more to the production history of Donkey Kong 64, but it was mostly Rare doing their thing as usual by then, there’s no major scandal, but i would be a fool not talk about about how Nintendo staff checked-in to see the game early on, leading to a terrified Shigeru Miyamoto seeing DK given a realistic double barreled shotgun (producing realistic gun sounds) as a weapon to shoot cartoon beavers with, only for him to quickly sketch up a less alarming, more child friendly and less problematic weaponry, adding leaf branches, a more wooden design, the now iconic “coconut gun”, which was immediatly implemented in the game.

All of this just because the realistic gun was a placeholder Rare absent mindedly left in.

For reference, this review is based on both my old playthrough of DK 64 on original N64 hardware and a fresh run of the version released via the N64 Classics app/service on Switch 2 (as all N64 games, it can run on the old Switch 1 consoles as well).

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[EXPRESSO] Heart Of The Beast (2026) | The Dog Stars

Managed to see an early screening (it comes out regularly on the 24th here) of Heart Of The Beast, David Year latest, and i won’t lie, i didn’t go into this expecting much.

After all, this is exact movie the trailers made it seems, and the kind you could really predict beat for beat when you hear the premise: a retired wounded soldier, James Belmont, and his dog, Odin, a scarred mine detection dog with titanium teeth and a prostethic leg, are taking a hunting-camping trip in the forests of Alaska, and just chilling.

They meet J.K. Simmons playing an old gold prospector that also was relaxing in the woods, have a beer, but when the duo sets off the next day, they crash their plane, and will have to survive the wilderness as they try to reach a safe place, working together as always…

It’s exactly what you’d think it would be, but dispenses immediatly with the “did the dog die?” question, which is both preaching to the choir but also being fairly honest, as the movie doesn’t really pretend to be anything else, to its credit.

Yet, i won’t lie, despite being fairly slow, arguably a bit too slow paced, basically a bit of “think of the American military, won’t you?” propaganda, and predictable to a tee (as its emotional beats), it’s done surprisingly decent, thanks to Pitt’s performance (and Odin’s too), the direction sticking to its realistic survival premise with confidence, and unlike Liam Neelson, we don’t get just implication of wolf punch, we actually get to see the duo fight ‘em.

Plus, the final resolution trying to tug at your heartstrings in the expected way… actually is effective, i can’t deny that.

Nothing special or unforgettable, but Heart Of The Beast is a surprisingly decent film.

[EXPRESSO] Hololive Dreams iOS | Gachikoi Gambah Galore

Hololive fans assemble, because with Hololive Dreams we’re going full smarthphone global release, F2P gacha obviously because how else will the talents try to roll themselves on stream, feeding the gambling addiction loop?

Chock full of talents both active and long graduated V-Tubers (yes, there’s Gawr “Gooba” Gura in it) doing admittely not particularly crazy things in terms of events or dialogues, but again, this is obviously targeted to already converted fans of the various talents/streamers/singers/entertainting, they ain’t trying to make new fans but “preach to the choir”

They are here to be cute, do things together, like prepare streams, chill in the communal house, decorate their rooms, enjoy the lush island and perform for the fans, which is done via a fairly typical but solid rhythh game fashion, more like a touch based DJ Max or Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage than – for example – the Project Diva games or the Love Live mobile rhythm games…. actually, it plays and looks identical to Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage.

Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even if you suck at rhythm games like meself, unless you expected something more original, but sure as hell it’s far more compelling than the RPG side of things, as the quests are really just fetch quests without the fetching, and it doesn’t help how sterile and clean the story and talents are made to be, especially since most of the vtubers are known for moments that escape the “idol culture” and the corporate mentality associated with it.

And you know, also marrying gacha economy with a fanbase more vulnerable to parasocial trappings is EXTRA predatory.

Then again, that was to be expected, so i’m not really shocked or offended, and to give due credit, the game does look good and is well produced, but beware.

[EXPRESSO] Resident Evil (2026) | Rising Rookie

Is Capcom just gonna reboot RE for films every 5 years from now on?

Regardless, i feel we got very lucky this time, for the better, even if i did quite like Welcome To Raccoon City.

As it, they gambled by letting Zach Cregger (Weapons, Barbarian) direct and basically let him do whatever he wanted, but boy it paid off.

Instead of rehashing the storyline and characters of RE 1 and-or 2, this reboot has an original story and follows Bryan, a medical courier that is tasked to deliver a high risk item to the mountain town of Raccoon City, immediatly, but gets way more than he bargained for…

While there are some recognizable monsters from the series, this reboot takes many liberties with this as well, and it does for better, making something new instead of reharshing the old stuff, aside still doing some visual callbacks, it mostly makes its own identity, yet manages to evoke the games tone more faithfully than ever, as Creggers balances extremely well both tense scenes and comedic bits, stemming from genre savyness as well as the absurdity of it all for a protagonist that’s just…. a normal guy, giving a more realistic feel to a story that still over the top as a horror b-movie or videogame would be.

It’s a very funny movie that does indirectly celebrates its roots, but can also deliver some scary shit, some of the best jumpscares i’ve ever seen in a LONG time, alongside some really spectacular gore, some proper scary shit, very cool creature designs and a very likeable main character.

It’s a very good movie and so far the best one the series has ever got, “ironically” because it doesn’t shackle itself to treating the B-movie material of the games as some sort of Bible.

Sky Blue (2003) [REVIEW] | Cyberpunk Rain

I was gonna do a review of the new Ghost In The Shell anime series by Science Saru, but i’m gonna reserve a full lenght dissertation for something else, and while i’m feeling the upcoming Neuromancer TV series, that is dropping in January 2027.

So instead lets give a look to something else in the cyberpunk sphere, something that’s not often talked about and not even Japanese, with Moon-saeng Kim’s Sky Blue (AKA Wonderful Days), a 2003 South Korean animated film, which i’m fairly sure won’t ring any bell.

After all, i heard about it…. by not actually hearing about it, but instead discovered it while browsing online for cheap anime UK DVDs in a pre-Brexit situation, and one i kept stashed away in one of big ass disc cases for an occasion such as this.

I must say, maybe it is 20 years of aged hindsight, but the 2000s might have been a more interesting period for animation than most care to remember, because there were directors even in South Korea interested in adult animation and experimenting with the new technology…. to mixed results.

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[EXPRESSO] The Ghost In The Shell (2026) | Future Past

At long last, the new Ghost In The Shell anime series is out, handled by Science Saru (Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, Devilman Crybaby, Japan Sinks 2020), and streaming internationally on Amazon Video.

As a very long time fan and GITS scholar, this new series held extra appeal as it was sold on being a loyal adaptation of Masamune Shirow original manga, which is oddly a novel proposition, since most of GITS incarnations refer to the Mamoru Oshii films as an example for tone and characterization, not really the manga.

So if you are familiar with those, the Stand Alone Complex or later iterations, you will be in for a surprise, putting aside Motoko Kusanagi’s very different characterization, even if the premise remains the same.

2029, the world is interconnected and cyborg enhancements have made the distinction between man and machine even more blurry, and in this cyberpunk future Motoko Kusanagi, an expert cyborg soldier, wants to establish a squad capable of tackling technological and security threats.

As it happens, government official Daisuke Aramaki is also planning to create a special organization, so he recruits Motoko and her squad to form Public Security Section 9, and as such intervene in case of terrorism, cybercrime and such.

This first season does adapt fully the original manga (meaning it doesn’t cover the sequel volumes, Human Error Processor and Man Machine Interface), as expected, honestly – aside the excellent faux 80s stylization – the animation is impressive, and it’s oddly novel to see an actually faithful anime adaptation of GITS, paradoxically standing out among the other iterations, and showing how strong the original Shirow work is, as it doesn’t really feel outdated.

which in itself it’s quite worrying, but honestly i don’t know what else i could ask for from this GITS adaptation.

Trevor McFur In The Crescent Galaxy JAGUAR [REVIEW] | Star Jags

Played via the Atari 50th Anniversary Collection on PS4 and PS5, because – i’m just gonna make it clear now – i ain’t buying a frigging Jaguar to play this. I’m simply not gonna.

Frankly i wasn’t even aware of this ever being a thing until i was flipping through the Jaguar library on the Atari 50th Anniversary Collection (you don’t need any of the DLC, as the Jaguar library – and by extension Trevor McFur is part of the base package and wasn’t expanded, not yet anyways), you’d think this would have been featured a bit more in retro reviews of the console itself, but it wasn’t, and i struggle to grasp that.

You’d think a game called Trevor McFur and with a cover art of a jaguar man embracing a jaguar woman with space in the background would be easier to bait people with, even if just out of curiosity, but i guess, as usual, i do have to do everything myself.

I mean, it’s really writing itself, given it was supposed to be a launch title for the console but instead that went to its “sister” title, Cybermorph, yeah, the “where did you learn how to fly?” one.

Also, yes, i was gonna make a Starfox Zero review, but i delayed, then thought if i really wanted to play Starfox Zero, i remembered the demo version i’ve played a decade ago…. so i figured, furry for furry, might as well do this one, that Starfox Zero review is gonna get delayed to when i can be fucked to, or for any new Starfox project that might emerge after the Switch 2 remake of SF 64/Lylat Wars.

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[EXPRESSO] The Mortuary Assistant (2026) | Flat Possession Rate

Based on an indie horror game of the same name i’ve heard about but haven’t had the pleasure of playing yet, The Mortuary Assistant has a solid concept, with Rebecca, a mortician in training (with a past od drugs and alcoholism) that has graduated to assistant, being called in by her boss, Raymond, to do an unplanned night shift, with weird requests like embalming then cremating a corpse, but soon strange things start happening…

I’ll be honest, i was just expecting a lesser version of Autopsy Of Jane Doe, and i don’t know how much or if this rappresents the eponymous videogame, but i can sure recognize boring garbage when i see it.

It even starts off decently, but then constantly degrades, between boring flashbacks, tiresome hallucination scenes, or the demon tormenting… well, more dick around (often saying frankly laughable shit) to the protagonist, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear even when the plot stops for lore and-or exposition dumps, nor do we know why the entity doesn’t outright kill the downright stupid protagonist you won’t care about, as she keeps falling for the same obvious trap.

there’s no atmosphere, no tension, the acting is mediocre at the very, very best, everything (entities-monsters included) is just plopped there with no grace or gusto, the thin plot grinds to a halt so we can have lore and make it clear this was based on a videogame, stopping to find video tapes or solve a demonic puzzle by matching symbols or something.

It’s being professionally put together and sporting solid effectds doesn’t matter when it’s all so flat, stupid and boring, never actually scary, especially when its topped off with one hell of a non-ending that i’m not even sure was meant to sequelbait, but will just piss you off even more.