[EXPRESSO] Mortal Kombat II (2026) | Sequel Syndrome

It would have taken some actual fuckin effort in actively trying to sabotage the film for this follow up to the 2021 Mortal Kombat to be worse than that… well, that film wasn’t really horrible, but it was an ensemble of random, unpopular and ineffective – at best – narrative choices made just so the film based around a fighting videogame series revolving around a mystic deadly fighting tournament could put on the side doing the titular bout of Mortal Kombat.


It all felt like it was just someone at WB mandating it to be so in order to lure doing the actual MK plot in a sequel that was actually about what people wanted to see… and Mortal Kombat II is indeed that, as Shang Tsung’s plan to kill Earthrealm champions before the tournament could begin fell apart, so now Earthrealm has to compete against Outrealm, commanded by the tyrant Shao Khan (served also by the necromancer Quan Chi), and a new warrior has been chosen by the gods to fight for Earthrealm, a washed up 90s action movie hero called Johnny Cage…

And yes, Karl Urban as Cage already makes this one the better film, but yes, overall this is actually what people were expecting from a MK movie, lots of fights, the tournament, lots of gore, fun videogame-fantasy nonsense, absurd characters duking it out in mystical realms, going to Hell, the effects are better and the plot is actually okay, doesn’t have pacing narcolepsy or occasional tone issues the 2021 had, this time around embracing wholeheartedly its inherent trashy nonsense.

While i had have honestly a very fun, silly time with this one, i will have to dock the rating down a notch because.. well, because this is the film they should have made back in 2021.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II X360 [REVIEW] | ♬ ‘Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down ♬

The first Force Unleashed was good, not original or amazing, but good hack n slash fun, it was.

So a sequel wouldn’t be surprising, given it was the fastest-selling Star Wars videogame at the time, even if the first one actually had a proper ending and a definitive fate for the main character, Star Killer, so how do you continue the story?

Since i’m about to discuss the story of the first game and spoil the ending, i’m gonna have to make it extra CLEAR.

As in.

SPOILER WARNING


SPOILER WARNING, again.

You have been warned.

Continua a leggere “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II X360 [REVIEW] | ♬ ‘Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down ♬”

The Iconic Maintenance & Content Arrangement Break

As i said i would, i’ll be taking a break from full length reviews for a week sometimes near mid-May in order to properly flesh out the blog with more than rudimentary pages, updating rubrics, hopefully doing some cleaning of the PC itself, stuff like that.

While a bit earlier than anticipated, i will be doing so from the 9th of May up to the 16th (included), EXPRESSO reviews as already said will happen regardless, the one for Mortal Kombat II is actually planned to drop on the 9th, coincidentally so.

Also, i had to make a last minute change to the line up for Melee May, and since i didn’t happen to have something already prepared that could fill in/fit with the genre, i will be doing a completely unrelated, different review to close off the month.

Also no, i do not plan to do a review of the Mandalorian film that is coming out late this month, if it happens i guess you’ll be reading an unplanned EXPRESSO review.

As a last, last note, i saw the teaser trailer for the new Resident Evil movie that is gonna be directed by Zach Creggers (Barbarian, Weapons, Keeper). Looks good, and while there’s nothing very “Resident Evil” about it…. that might actually be for the best, let’s be honest, not that the fans deserve it (they didn’t even deserve the decent Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City), as they really want stuff like the crappy old Paul W.S. Anderson ones, just with the plots being 1 to 1 the ones in the games.

And asking for the series they allegedly like to keep pumping out shit on the same quality as Return To Silent Hill… is definitely a hill to die on.

But i guess we’ll see about that, once the frothing stops and we actually get to see the actual film.

Peace.

Mortal Kombat (2021) [REVIEW] | Kombat Set-Up

Preface: i never saw the old MK movies, i really never cared about Mortal Kombat back in the day , but i do like gore, the old theme song, known the basic premise of the series, and some stuff i’ve absorbed by cultural osmosis, so why not?

Helps this is also a reboot of the MK film series.

The premise centers about mystical deathmatch tournament between the Outworld and The Earthrealm, as the chosen fighters of each factions engage in the titular “mortal combat”. As the Outworld has won nine of the previous tournaments and it’s set that the Earthrealm will be conquered by the Outworld if they lose the 10th tournament as well, but there’s a prophecy about a new generation of Earthrealm fighters that will be united by the “blood of Hanzo Hasashi”.

So both sides try to locate the new chosen fighters for Earthrealm (recognizable by the dragon marking on their skin) to either eliminate or assist them before they can enter the tournament.

This “united by the blood of Hanzo” is an excuse to start off the movie in 17th centhury Japan with a flashback about chinese assassin Bi-Han (aka Subzero) killing Hanzo and his family.

Its a strong opening, but after that we’re in a modern day America, following this Cole Young fellow, a now washed up MMA fighter, whose life gets even worse as he too is targeted by Bi Han/Subzero, now working for Outworld’s mystic sorcerer Shang Tsung, as he sending his underlings to preemptively kill all the Earthrealm champions so the next Mortal Kombat tournament won’t even be taken, and Cole indeed sports the dragon marking, unaware of his heritage and thrown into this when he just wants to protect his family…

Continua a leggere “Mortal Kombat (2021) [REVIEW] | Kombat Set-Up”

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed X360 [REVIEW] | Starkilling It

This is a revised rewrite, but it has been so long since the old review that back then the Sequel Trilogy had just begun, and Disney wasn’t quite drowning people in Star Wars related projects and series up the wazoo, and to be honest while i still don’t consider myself a Star Wars fan… fuck if i know what a “Star Wars fan” actually means nowadays.

Nor i do care to properly find out.

I did like it casually enough to play some SW games like this and the sequel, and – as i said before – i would love a Star Wars Musou, which sadly will never happen, and in general i do like people fighting with lightsabers and magical space powers, i’m not above it, absolutely.

Also, while this isn’t the first hack n slash/beat em up based on the property (i remember the home consoles versions of the Episode III tie-in game being that and mostly well received), it was certainly one made because God Of War became popular, so Lucasarts wanted in, as everybody did.

Namco even resurrect their Splatterhouse series to get some of that violent 3D beat em up action.

Continua a leggere “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed X360 [REVIEW] | Starkilling It”

Bujingai: Swordmaster PS2 [REVIEW] | Wuxia GACKT Action

You think you know the depths of the Playstation 2 library.

You don’t. You just don’t.

If this wasn’t the case, a title like Bujingai: Swormaster would have been covered by gaming Youtubers as a “forgotten gem” to the point it’s not forgotten at all anymore.

And yet, 99 % of you before know never knew there was a PS2 era hack n slash in the vein of Devil May Cry but where you play as sci-fi wuxia Gackt.

Again, the PS2 library is so big we still are finding more obscure titles to showcase.

Personally, i remember seeing this one a lot in bargain bin cases after a while, since it was distributed here by 505 Games/Gamestreeet (figures since they are an Italy based distributor), which back in the early 2000s were famous for mostly peddling ol’ budget games/shovelware by the bucketloads, so that didn’t help, but at least a PAL copy is fairly cheap and easy to find still today.

Can’t say the cover helped because sure as hell the general public wasn’t gonna go “is that Gackt?” after looking at the box art.

But yes, he gave right to the teams to use his likeness for the main character, Lau Wong, a wuxia hero that has to do the usual: sky surf on an ethereal cloud while doing the usual wuxia ballet-combat aerobics and eventually go back to Earth, 100 years after an apocalyptic event wiped out most of the population while giving survivors powers, to rid the planet of a demonic army that has holed up in the asian city of Bujingai.

And since it’s a martial arts inspired game, it just happens the head of the demon army is a former fellow martial arts student turned rival that has gone evil, as you do in these.

Continua a leggere “Bujingai: Swordmaster PS2 [REVIEW] | Wuxia GACKT Action”

International Workers’ Day Break

While we are ready to start off Melee May, today i’m gonna take a break since it’s International Worker’s Day and all.

So consider giving my EXPRESSO review of The Devil Wears Prada 2 a read, if you so desire, and since we’re on topic, no, i will not see nor review the Micheal Jackson biopic, i really don’t care, especially since it’s from the same producer of the Bohemian Rhapsody film, pity because i do like MJ.

i will be reviewing the second new Mortal Kombat film, Mortal Kombat 2, though, not on day one, but that EXPRESSO review is coming.

See you tomorrow!

Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Fist Of The Roman Star: Ceasar’s Rage 2

As i said in the review of the first Slap Them All, they quickly made a follow up game 2 years later (as in 2022 Mr. Nutz Studio released that awful Joe & Mac port-remake), simply titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Em All! 2, and while i was planning to review this next year… by coincidence i ended up playing it and finishing it far earlier than planned, so

Sure, that will leave Mission Babylon as the only new Asterix & Obelix game by Microids to review next year, but whatever,

This time around the plot is original, and concerns the theft of an important Roman insigna, the Aquila (literally “Eagle”, a golden eagle insigna), which is blamed on Lutetian friends of the Gaul duo, and so Asterix & Obelix venture to find out who actually stole the Aquila and why, before they execute the entire Lutetian village as retribution, so important is the Aquila in political leverage terms for the Roman Empire than losing it is seen as a great public shame for the reigning emperor.

It’s not a bad plot, it’s fine, and at least it’s not just Ceasar once again throwing a scheme to finally conquer those pesky Gaul villagers.

Continua a leggere “Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Fist Of The Roman Star: Ceasar’s Rage 2”

[EXPRESSO] The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) | Legacy Girlbossing

Ah yes, the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice of fashion biz comedy-drama cinema.

Actually, yes: it’s a direct sequel, it takes into account the fact that 20 years have passed by for the characters too, the main cast is back reprising their roles, directing duties are still handled by David Frankel, even screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna is back as well, so it’s “legit”, as they once said.

I remember watching it back in the day, but since it was literally 20 years ago i did give a fresh watch…. and honestly it still holds up, it’s not perfect, but it’s funny, the satire still has some edge, it’s very memorable, lots of fun and damn that Streep performance (and Tucci’s of course).

Even so, since the trailer for this rolled out i wondered “why though?”, despite well knowing why: even if there wasn’t a book sequel to draw from, it’s the 2020s, even Twister has a legacy sequel.

My fear was that it would still be stuck in the mid-2000s…. but actually no, it’s actually the opposite, as it tackles the current issue of megacorpos, megamergers and layoff epidemic, with Andy, now a renowed journalist, getting laid off by her parent company as she is accepting an award in her field.

Now jobless, she is hired as senior writer by the fashion agency she once left, Runway, as the firm itself is facing a huge PR crisis and is at risk at being downsized into oblivion by the new management, despite still being (mostly) helmed by Miranda.

While not perfect, it’s a surprisingly good sequel that doesn’t amount to just a series of nods to the first one, and it’s arguably better than most legacy sequels we’re getting nowadays, with a cast in top form reprising their classic roles like they never left.