Categoria: Exploitation

[EXPRESSO] Hololive Dreams iOS | Gachikoi Gambah Galore

Hololive fans assemble, because with Hololive Dreams we’re going full smarthphone global release, F2P gacha obviously because how else will the talents try to roll themselves on stream, feeding the gambling addiction loop?

Chock full of talents both active and long graduated V-Tubers (yes, there’s Gawr “Gooba” Gura in it) doing admittely not particularly crazy things in terms of events or dialogues, but again, this is obviously targeted to already converted fans of the various talents/streamers/singers/entertainting, they ain’t trying to make new fans but “preach to the choir”

They are here to be cute, do things together, like prepare streams, chill in the communal house, decorate their rooms, enjoy the lush island and perform for the fans, which is done via a fairly typical but solid rhythh game fashion, more like a touch based DJ Max or Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage than – for example – the Project Diva games or the Love Live mobile rhythm games…. actually, it plays and looks identical to Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage.

Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even if you suck at rhythm games like meself, unless you expected something more original, but sure as hell it’s far more compelling than the RPG side of things, as the quests are really just fetch quests without the fetching, and it doesn’t help how sterile and clean the story and talents are made to be, especially since most of the vtubers are known for moments that escape the “idol culture” and the corporate mentality associated with it.

And you know, also marrying gacha economy with a fanbase more vulnerable to parasocial trappings is EXTRA predatory.

Then again, that was to be expected, so i’m not really shocked or offended, and to give due credit, the game does look good and is well produced, but beware.

Trevor McFur In The Crescent Galaxy JAGUAR [REVIEW] | Star Jags

Played via the Atari 50th Anniversary Collection on PS4 and PS5, because – i’m just gonna make it clear now – i ain’t buying a frigging Jaguar to play this. I’m simply not gonna.

Frankly i wasn’t even aware of this ever being a thing until i was flipping through the Jaguar library on the Atari 50th Anniversary Collection (you don’t need any of the DLC, as the Jaguar library – and by extension Trevor McFur is part of the base package and wasn’t expanded, not yet anyways), you’d think this would have been featured a bit more in retro reviews of the console itself, but it wasn’t, and i struggle to grasp that.

You’d think a game called Trevor McFur and with a cover art of a jaguar man embracing a jaguar woman with space in the background would be easier to bait people with, even if just out of curiosity, but i guess, as usual, i do have to do everything myself.

I mean, it’s really writing itself, given it was supposed to be a launch title for the console but instead that went to its “sister” title, Cybermorph, yeah, the “where did you learn how to fly?” one.

Also, yes, i was gonna make a Starfox Zero review, but i delayed, then thought if i really wanted to play Starfox Zero, i remembered the demo version i’ve played a decade ago…. so i figured, furry for furry, might as well do this one, that Starfox Zero review is gonna get delayed to when i can be fucked to, or for any new Starfox project that might emerge after the Switch 2 remake of SF 64/Lylat Wars.

Continua a leggere “Trevor McFur In The Crescent Galaxy JAGUAR [REVIEW] | Star Jags”

Platformation Time Again: The James Pond Collection GenAI Marketing Suicidefest

Never tought i would have to say it, but we have to talk about James Pond.

I guess since retro collections are in now, System 3 decided to resell its old series of Amiga borne platformers, the James Pond games, of which i played a bit of the second one, Operation Robocod, as a PS1 Classic release on the PS3, actually, with this collection including pretty much all versions of all 3 James Pond games, plus the sports spin-off The Aquabats.

They are rereleasing this also a physical release on Switch 2…. but even that being “exclusive” is most likely bullshit as a PEGI rating for a PS5 version has been spotted already.

Look, System 3 already were famous for being cheap since forever, heck remember when they put out on PS4 a SNES game they pretended was cancelled back in the day, for full price (and lied about upcoming free DLCs), with Putty Squad… which they also released basically on launch for the PS4.

These people wanted 40 bucks for Super Fruit Fall on the Wii during its launch, i do remember that, so it checks out, System 3 peddled crap like this for a living since forever, and given what i played of Operation Robocod, i can believe people commenting how this is kinda apt because the James Pond games were indeed trash even back then.

Continua a leggere “Platformation Time Again: The James Pond Collection GenAI Marketing Suicidefest”

Magical Girl Of The End/Magical Girl Apocalypse manga [REVIEW] | Pervert Cop VS the Murder Megucas

While we can’t really blame this on “Madoka Magica Effect”, we can’t because this isn’t even trying to lure you …. still, you know that series’ success was bound to spawn magical girl manga like this.

Frankly, this isn’t the more absurd “magical girl but edgy” take, heck, this predates Magical Girls Ops Asuka, which has them weilding realistic firearms and getting PSTD, maybe we’ll do that sometime, but i wanted to do something magical girl related because the new Madoka movie somehow finally released in Japanese theathers not even a week ago.

That said, after all, what do you expect from an action horror manga called Magical Girl Of The End… or Magical Girl Apocalypse,, but i prefer the original title.

Written and illustrated by Kentaro Sato, Magical Girl Of The End begins where most of these shonen horror series do: with a massacre in a Japanese high school class, where an average and distant teen, Kii Kogami, sees a weird gothic lolita dressed humanoid appear and explode people heads like the Fourth Of July, only for the cadavers to rise as zombies, and thing have started going to shit outside too, as a flood of those weird monsters chanting “magical” drops from the sky.

Kii manages to escape the school alongside his childhood friend Tsukune and other survivors, bending together to try escape these “magical girls monsters” as they keep swarming and causing even more death and destruction…..

Continua a leggere “Magical Girl Of The End/Magical Girl Apocalypse manga [REVIEW] | Pervert Cop VS the Murder Megucas”

[EXPRESSO] Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure: Golden Spirit iOS | The Gachalands

Probably comes as no surprise to anybody that Golden Spirit is another pile of gacha shit… but still, i decided to give this one a try.

Mostly because i haven’t played one of these in a while and because it’s Jojo…. and starting off, gameplay it’s not exactly what i figured it would be from the trailers, and by that i mean it was sold as a “ tactical RPG”, which to me means a Tactics style turn based affair, this is actually a real time autobattler where the more pressing issue is positioning the units, so yeah, it’s another idle self playing borefest, the strategic hook of the Rush mechanic meaning very little, and of course the roster is infested with VERY minor characters, so you can gamble for the ones you really want.

Or hope you can unlock them in event story cutscenes…. some of which even when available will wall off content with 14 hours timers, like the Stardust Crusaders one, because the game starts off with Part 5, Golden Wind, the Jo Jo series taking place in Neaples, Italy and following Giorno Giovanna, the son of Dio Brando, as he fights to overthrow the mafia’s mysterious boss.

Hope you already know everything JoJo because the game never really explains shit, despite starting from Part 5….of 9.

While it mostly looks quite decent, it goes the extra mile of not just reusing frames from the anime for the story scenes (alongside recreating them in various styles), fairly common in itself, but sometimes passing those through an IA filter, making them look worse upon any scrutiny, too.

Its so utterly generic that you could have EASILY slapped another anime license/skin unto it… and i’ll just say it looks identical to a bootleg Jujutsu Kaisen mobile game, Jujutsu Malevolent Shrine.

[EXPRESSO] Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma (2026) | QueerAngela

Freshly released in theathers here, Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma is a classic slasher for the ages… as in, this age, the modern age.

Kris is a queer horror director known for a Psycho remake from the prospective of the shower curtains, that has been tasked with directing the reboot of 80s cult slasher series Camp Miasma (a sort of Friday The 13th crossed with Sleepaway Camp entity), as she is a notorious superfan, but she struggles under the pressure of her own ambition to do something fresh with it, and especially because of the studio push-back to have actress that played thef inal girl in the original film, Billy Presley, come back.

Kris is adamant about it, and decides to meet up nonetheless with Billy, whom has been pretty much living as a recluse in the same place where the first Camp Miasma film was shot….

Yes, it’s indeed a meta-horror that works both as tribute and satire of the 80s slasher, it’s significance today, how the sexual themes reflected anxieties of the era and how this applies in an age where sexuality is very different, especially from a queer prospective, but while it delivers a lot of kills, gore and hilariously excessive geysers of bloods, and it’s more heavy on comedy that you’d expect.

And while it does have an unique “meta twist” that isn’t quite what you’d expect, it’s also fairly straighforward – and deliberately unsubtle- in tackling the genre as a way of sexual self-discovery and emancipation, sold thanks to the amazing performances of Gillian Anderson and Hannah Heinbinder.

Though at times the pacing could be better, and frankly i would have preferred if it ended a scene earlier than it does, but still, Teenage, Sex And Death At Camp Miasma is quite good.

[EXPRESSO] One Night Only (2026) | The Premarital Gex Purge

I was able to see a preview screening for this one, i was curious, as One Night Only has the unique hook of “What if The Purge was about fucking and framed as a quirky rom com?”.

It’s a ni– it’s an elevator pitch that gets you attention, but immediatly you wonder why is this not a dystopian thriller (or horror thriller), as it takes place in an America where they passed a ban on premarital sex, so single people now can copulate only 1 night of the year, with biochips on their arms to enforce compliance.

One guesses it doesn’t apply to non-hetero people, i do guess because we just have the lesbian roommate of the lead girl saying how this is “a thing for the straights”, not that there’s any thought about the terrifying implications of this (or how masturbation factors in), or any of its themes, as the focus is about Allie and Owen, one in search of romanticism during “Fuck Night”, the other having practically broke with her long time girlfriend hours before.

Even if you could ignore ALL OF THAT (and you won’t), the two leads really have little chemistry and you’ll wonder why in this context they didn’t immediatly fuck, not that you’ll care about these two milquetoast characters.

It’s both too heady and nowhere enough, as it wants to be just a casual meet-cute thing, but ultimately is an incredibly regressive, self-righteous, disgusting little film that’s sex-negative, yet wants to be a raunchy sex comedy…. without actually showing any nudity, that you’ll pine for the days of frigging Porky’s.

The movie itself literally says “being an incel is a badge of honor now”, just in case it didn’t already come off as fascist government propaganda selling “The Sex Purge” as a positive thing.

Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I make no secret that i veheemently hate Shark Exorcist, i’ve always hated it well before i re-reviewed it for the blog “shark month”, and while i’m not making a “Worst 10 Shark Films” listicle because there’s always something worse i haven’t seen or that just released that would make that obsolete very fast, if i did, i would put Shark Exorcist as the reigning champion of shit.

Not that Donald Farmer was ever a good director, he always made trashy B to Z movies, but this one i believe was maliciously made extra bad by design, but then again having 40 years of experience in trash cinema doesn’t guarantee you’ll retain any know-how, or care to even put on a semblance of any competence you’ve gathered, as it was frankly barely indistiguishable from crap like Jurassic Shark, made obviously by a bunch of kids with a camera and zero experience.

Again, it took some nega-effort to make Mark Polonia look like Spielberg in comparison, but Shark Exorcist was indeed something special, not your everyday homegrown Z-grade shark trash.

So when i learned last year Donald put out a sequel, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters back in 2024, 10 years after the first one…. i knew i had to cover it, and i’m not gonna let it fester too much in my mind this time, we’re doing this now so we can move on.

Here i’d discuss the plot but we already did the bit on the review of the first Shark Exorcist, which had a premise, an idea of a plot, not really an actual plot besides the first 5 minutes, or any actual structure, just random padding, “plot lines” that go nowhere, even calling it a “narrative gibberish” it’s too kind in hindsight, since it honestly doesn’t even have an ending or a proper resolution…. it just kinda stops, and reaches a runtime of 74 minutes just because of random post-credit padding.

Continua a leggere “Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist”

One Piece Day (?) Throwaway Musings

Yes, apparently One Piece Day just happened to be scheduled on August 10th last year, officially this year gonna be on the 22-23 Of August, and so it might seem pretty early to discuss things that in 2 weeks might not even matter or instead be addressed, but since on the 16th the blog goes on hiatus as usual, and i usually reserve/consider August as One Piece Month, i will be rambling a bit anyway.

about One Piece in general. what else?

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