Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I make no secret that i veheemently hate Shark Exorcist, i’ve always hated it well before i re-reviewed it for the blog “shark month”, and while i’m not making a “Worst 10 Shark Films” listicle because there’s always something worse i haven’t seen or that just released that would make that obsolete very fast, if i did, i would put Shark Exorcist as the reigning champion of shit.

Not that Donald Farmer was ever a good director, he always made trashy B to Z movies, but this one i believe was maliciously made extra bad by design, but then again having 40 years of experience in trash cinema doesn’t guarantee you’ll retain any know-how, or care to even put on a semblance of any competence you’ve gathered, as it was frankly barely indistiguishable from crap like Jurassic Shark, made obviously by a bunch of kids with a camera and zero experience.

Again, it took some nega-effort to make Mark Polonia look like Spielberg in comparison, but Shark Exorcist was indeed something special, not your everyday homegrown Z-grade shark trash.

So when i learned last year Donald put out a sequel, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters back in 2024, 10 years after the first one…. i knew i had to cover it, and i’m not gonna let it fester too much in my mind this time, we’re doing this now so we can move on.

Here i’d discuss the plot but we already did the bit on the review of the first Shark Exorcist, which had a premise, an idea of a plot, not really an actual plot besides the first 5 minutes, or any actual structure, just random padding, “plot lines” that go nowhere, even calling it a “narrative gibberish” it’s too kind in hindsight, since it honestly doesn’t even have an ending or a proper resolution…. it just kinda stops, and reaches a runtime of 74 minutes just because of random post-credit padding.

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[EXPRESSO] The Death of Robin Hood (2026) | Anti-Hood

Let’s make it clear, that yes, the timing on this one is horrendous, sure, let’s make a new Robin Hood movie in today climate….. about how Robin Hood was actually a fraud, as in, he was actually a vicious criminal that murdered and stole without caring to “give it back to the poor”, but instead just took for himself. Lest the tribilionaries be offended.

Yes, this revisionist take stems from a 16-17^th centhury ballad, A Gest Of Robyn Hode, and actually isn’t a “eat the poor” advocating version, but damn the timing.

This is actually an interesting choice (and arguably more apt than it seems exactly because of it releasing now) that deliberately deromanticizes the myth and reimagines Robin Hood (Hugh Jackman in Logan-mode) as old, aged outlaw moving in the Irish hills and mountains, haunted by his past killing and actions as an exiled criminal, taking refuge in a priory when he gets wounded badly, and there befriending the prioress and other residents of the priory, as he find himself forced to finally come to terms with his actions..

It’s pretty grounded, realistic, gloomy, brutal, and honestly i’d say it’s surprisingly good…. well not that surprising, since its from Michael Sarnoski, director of Pig and A Quiet Place: Day One, but undeniably the narrative moves at its own relatively slow pace and after the first very action heavy part, it becomes mostly a “chamber drama”, and in that regard some characterizations could have used some more screen time.

it’s not for everyone or great, but it’s a fuckton more interesting and worth your time than the last time we got a modern Robin Hood movie, i remember seeing that awful 2018 film simply called Robin Hood that somehow made the Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur look better in comparison.

Netflix’s One Piece (Season 2) Into The Grand Line (2026) [REVIEW] | Baroque Works Begins

As promised, here is my review for the second season of Netflix’s One Piece live action series, which i now fully realize isn’t gonna be a few season thing, as in, it became clear it wasn’t after the first was a success, and the second too, but i guess it took time for me to properly sink in we’re gonna have One Piece live action material… and that i was actually looking forward to it.

If you told me this even just 10 years ago, i would have spat or laughed in your face, but what can i say, the future can be a foreign country as the past, in its own way.

Season One of “Netflix Piece” was indeed the freak surprise of that year for me, i’ve talked about that enough in the old review, so time to move on!

This second season (after a handy recap of Season 1) basically covers the Alabasta/Arabasta arc from the beginning in Rogue Town, and then up to Drum Kingdom…but as with the first season, this live action adaptation does make a notable amount of changes and additions.

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One Piece Day (?) Throwaway Musings

Yes, apparently One Piece Day just happened to be scheduled on August 10th last year, officially this year gonna be on the 22-23 Of August, and so it might seem pretty early to discuss things that in 2 weeks might not even matter or instead be addressed, but since on the 16th the blog goes on hiatus as usual, and i usually reserve/consider August as One Piece Month, i will be rambling a bit anyway.

about One Piece in general. what else?

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[EXPRESSO] Spider Man: Brand New Day (2026) | Un(Thethered)

I remember quite liking No Way Home, for better or worse, but it has been a while, and it’s not like it matters, i was gonna see this away, i did want to see it.

In a way i feel bad because i think this one is actually trying to be less shackled by the MCU stuff, and it stings because it almost succeeds, as in, it manages to do some good emotional stuff with the character of Peter Parker, as he struggles to reconcile with the fact he still feels fragile and alone, despite being able to become NYC resident hero once again… we’ll because he can do so as everyone forgot about him at the end of No Way Home.

While some ideas like having The Punisher as an ally-ish character to Spidey is nice, and there are some fun action scenes, there’s no denying of the second half being overly long and overburdened by the ties to the “MCU obligations” of having to seed stuff for future films, which also entails the admittely better than usual villain (which i’m not gonna spoil), an entity that goes around possessing people’s minds/body hopping and using them to search for something kept hidden by a governative company specialized in repairing propery damage caused by heroes and villains activities, while Spider Man has to deal with his body undergoing unexpected mutations…

Even putting aside the villain’s plan actually makes no sense if you think about it (and that Spider Man has basically Big Brothered the entirety of NYC), then there’s how the climax is resolved identically as in Thunderbolts, are we at the point of recycling climaxes almost verbatim?

This in contrast with the cast actually giving some of the better performances in these films, so, overall, i’d say it’s decent.

August Augurs, the Fall-Winter schedule and changes in 2027

As a reminder, the blog will go on the usual break on the 16th, and it will resume full activity on September 1st.

As for the remaining august days, all the planned full lenght reviews, though in terms of One Piece content, only the review of Season 2 of the live action Netflix adaptation of One Piece will release as planned, sadly the one for Gigant Battle won’t be ready in time, and i’ve decided not to rush it.

EXPRESSO reviews for Hokum and Spider Man: Brand New Day will arrive soon enough on the blog.

The main big change i wanna announce is, after deliberation (and also because i’m between jobs now) i’ve decided to dedicate myself more about writing down a book about giant monster cinema (and maybe move into video content stuff) in the coming future, so next year the schedule will be more or less done on a “when and if i can” basis, i’ll still make some sort of plan but basically i will allow myself to wing it or scrap things.

This won’t affect much or at all the schedule for September and up to Dicember-early January, as most of the work has already been done or is already on its way to be completed, or already “set in stone” either way.

I’ll still work on the blog and keep updating it, and this doesn’t mean i will sunset older rubric, mainstays like Giant Monster March, The Spooktacular Eight, Musou/Melee May will remain and so on, EXPRESSO either.

Also, i’m gonna address it here before i forget: while i doubt we’ll even see it here in theathers before October (if at all), i won’t be covering Eli Roth’s Ice Cream Man remake in any form, as he’s been using GenAI shit in it, and not for minute details either, plus i learned in the fallout that he’s even more of a piece of shit i’ve though/remembered, and it’s not like we’re gonna miss much anyway, given his track record of “quality” (Thanksgiving was quite fun, admittedly) and the movie reviewing poorly even ignoring Eli Roth himself and the GenAI sequences…. we ain’t gonna miss out on anything of value, let’s be real, i’m surprised he still pretends to be relevant.

[EXPRESSO] Disgaea Mayhem PS5 | Flaccid Flannery

Turns out the demo for Disgaea Mayhem wasn’t really that misrepresentative.

Yes, the full game IS is better than the demo, but also indicative of this being indeed a cheap project the company really didn’t believe in, one they just kinda slapped the Disgaea name on to ensure it sells some copies, even if it the story fits the zany nature of the NIS series, being about a mercenary tasked by an Overlord princess, Tichelle, to retrieve legendary flan desserts from demons that defected from her army.

Combat isn’t as refined as more recent traditional Warriors title or Dynasty Warriors Origins, but it’s decent, there are some fun weapon movesets, the borrowed mechanics from the Disgaea games help, overall the core gameplay is good enough.. shame there’s really nothing around it, just a handful of overly simple levels that are frankly interchangeable, as they have nothing going on: no bases system, no attempt at any kind of gimmick, nothing.

Just kill very small amount of peons, do it two more times, then reach the level boss area.

It feels like a musou game made by people that never actually played a musou game.

Rinse and repeat 3 times for most of the few story chapters, maybe stopping a bit to grind if underleveled, not that it’ll make the campaign last more than 6 hours, with very few post-game content as well, gated behind way too much grind, and it’s easy to accidentally overlevel yourself, killing the little “balance” it had going on.

Plus frankly the game looks cheap, like a late PS Vita project resurrected and souped up a bit.

Yet, i don’t find Disgaea Mayhem to be THAT bad, it’s “just” disappointing, underwhelming, overly basic (to the point it feels half-baked as a whole), very short and content starved.

[EXPRESSO] Deep Water (2026) | Shark Ditching

Renny Harlin, better known as the director of the original Deep Blue Sea, Cliffhanger and Cutthroat Island, having finished early this year the new awful Strangers trilogy nobody asked for, he’s back doing what he’s best known for: sharks.

Actually, that’s kinda unfair, as Deep Water is mostly a survival film about an international flight that crashlands somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, with the surviving passenger and crew members forced to find a way to survive and escape the deadly debris of the torn plane, while also avoid being picked off by a group of shark cycling around them.

Mind you, i’m glad there are sharks in the film, frankly i would have been surprised if they weren’t, because this is such a deliberate throwback to late 90s disaster-survival films and horror b-movies of this ilk, with just a veneer of realism to avoid it killing any tension.

Do not let the fact some of the characters we’re presented before or on the plane include esports squads, grandmas saying “you’re a 5 out of 10” impropted to people, ipad kids, the attitude and cliches are done in such a retro fashion, from the characters being either rude assholes or saints, with an expecially assholish one that you know has a “shark food soon enough” label, and which you indeed look forward to see its inevitable fate come to pass, the kid character being clever yet tempting death at least twice, the heroic sacrifice by the consumate character actor that is arguably on autopilot, etc.

Deep Water is essentially a 90s styled disaster-survival-shark film, and its retro nature it’s both charming but also obviously dated…. yet in this case i think it comes off as a decent genre thrill ride of yore, and better because it’s confident in what it is.

Sand Land manga [REVIEW] | ♪ ‘Cause Beezlebub ♪

Akira Toriyama needs no introduction, but most of his non-Dragon Ball or Dr. Slump related works do often fall through the cracks, so to speak…. so one wonders why the hell in 2023 and 2024 there was a sudden deluge of adaptations of his Sand Land manga series.

Even here we got a new edition for the manga as a small volume or a deluxe big one inclusive of extra material, alongside the film, the anime series on Disney Plus and even a videogame for PS4/PS5/X-Box Series and PC was made.

It wasn’t even an anniversary thing as Sand Land was released in 2000.

I guess why not, 2023 was kind of a slump for most DB related projects, mostly leading up to the announcement of Sparking Zero, and i guess why not, just using the Akira Toriyama name ensures sales, and unlike most of his other short stories that were eventually compiled in volumes alongside other one-shots (like Pola & Roid, for example), people knew of Sand Land existing, as the “desert manga with demons and tanks made by the Dragon Ball guy”.

Sure as hell was more well known than Nekomajin.

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[EXPRESSO] The Odyssey (2026) | Our 1UP Man

I will say that there are legitimate criticism to be made about this new Nolan adaptation of the greek epic, especially those about historical accuracy, in a movie that opts for a realistic war movie-ish tone…. but on the other hand, what did people expect when Anne Hathaway is Penelope and one of the first thing we saw about the film were those superhero style armors?

Since it not even a 3 hours long film, it doesn’t opt for a complete retelling, but in line with Nolan’s style, the whole thing is framed as “ memory box/machine” for Odysseus to unravel as he wakes up from 7 years of oblivion (as the lotus flowers he was fed make people forget) on Calypso’s island, this after ending the 8 year longs Trojan War via his wooden horse ploy, and had many adventures on his attempt to reach his home island of Ithaka.

There his wife, Penelope, has held off contenders to the throne for 20 years via a scheme, and his son, Telemachus, that still believes his father is alive, goes searching for him, while Odysseus himself comes home posing as a vagrant, only to prove his identity and slaughter the disrespectful contenders that leeched off his hospitality.

It does most of the expected stories of the epic, while taking various liberties (especially in the Polyphemus encounter) and arguably omitting a lot, but i’ll say that despite some flaws (the superhero style armours, trying to frame the Greek morality in a certain way, the Hollywood casting), Nolan’s The Odyssey does live up to expectations, delivering a powerful rendition of the poem in a way that calling “epic” does actually seem fit, it has that gravitas and majesty of the old Hollywood, it’s arguably one of Nolan’s best in a while too.