Shark Listings & The Mini-Summer Of EDF

As previously announced, we’ll have the usual 6 shark movie reviews but this year they will be sliced with 2 every month until August, we already begun the month with the Hindi language shark-laden masala film, Aatank, and that’s literally just the antepasta, there’s plenty more of far weirder shark related shit to see and talk about.

Also previously announced in that previous article, it’s how we’ll have a mini “Summer Of EDF”.

A fun sized version because there’s simply nothing else bearing the name EDF left to review, aside from the PS Vita expanded port of 2017/EDF 3 that is stilly a digital only 30 bucks thing on PSN and what, the mobile autoclicker EDF 4.1 Tap Wars?

As much as i would love to keep talking EDF games, we have only the PS2 tactical spin-off and the EDF 4.1 shmup spin-off left to cover, so look forward to the reviews of those, and remember that the EDF will -inevitably- deploy.

Again. Not soon, as EDF 7 (thought it should be called X for reasons obvious if you played EDF 6) isn’t a thing, but we know that eventually Sandlot will make another one, and i’d prefer for the team to rest and come back with something even more stupid, crazy and fun than before.

I mean, D3 could still outsource a “boomer shooter” spin-off, they did one for Starship Troopers, so….

Mario & Wario SFC [REVIEW] | Bucket Mario Mouse Adventure

One of the Mario titles that have been long since been an exclusive to the Super Famicom (the Japanese version of the Super Nintendo), but last October it was rereleased officially, in this case as part of the Super Nintendo Classics app/service on Switch and Switch 2.

It’s has been a long sought after title that it would be logical to assume might have gotten a rerelease on Switch 2, since it has a mouse-style control set up for the Joycons, and it wouldn’t have required much fnagling as the game was already full translated in English in its original SFC release, kinda surprising it didn’t actually get a NA or PAL release, despite there having been plans at the time.

I guess besides Mario Paint there wasn’t much interest in games that used the SNES mouse peripheral, but regardless, you can now play it on Switch 2 or even Switch 1, for the latter you will need to connect an USB mouse… which is how i played it, with the old Switch 1 docked and with a cheap random USB mouse anyway, at first anyway.

I tried that but i guess my USB mouse was too shit, since i later tried the mouse mode on a Switch 2 joycon (both in docked and handheld mode), and that was actually WAY better, like usual an actual proper modern mouse, even with the game mouse speed set to low, so i stuck to that for the rest of my experience.

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Raging Blades PS2 [REVIEW] | Arcade Axe

Yet more fuel for the bargain bin PS2 bonfire with an arguably even more obscure niche hack n slash title from an even more forgotten ilk, as Bujingai was at least co-developed by Taito and Red Entertaiment, the latter being behind the PS2 Gungrave games as well as Sakura Wars So Long My Love, the Fossil Fighter games, or much of the Record Of Agarest series.

Instead Raging Blades (originally called Raging Bless in Japan) comes from a developer pretty much unknown, Pacific Century Cyber Works (PCCW), whose portfolio mostly consist of this, something called Dream Audition and some racing or idol games that never left Japan, and was distributed by Wanadoo, one of those European publisher that no one remembers but did have a presence back in the day, though i remember them mostly for their logo on PC graphic adventure like the Necronomicon titles, and later a lot of tie-in shovelware… but also the PS2 reboot of an old Tecmo series, Rygar The Legendary Adventure, which i will eventually feature here.

That aside, this is even more distant, because while Bujingai was surprisingly pretty nifty and complex for a 2003 release, Raging Blades also released the same year yet it’s at the complete opposite end of the spectrum, being pretty much a 3D styled take on Golden Axe, its roots in the arcade years of the genre pretty much unfazed by how the genre evolved in the third dimension and especially from Devil May Cry on forward.

It’s so arcade there’s no “Continue” option from the main menu, because you’re expected to beat the story mode in one setting.

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[EXPRESSO] Mortal Kombat II (2026) | Sequel Syndrome

It would have taken some actual fuckin effort in actively trying to sabotage the film for this follow up to the 2021 Mortal Kombat to be worse than that… well, that film wasn’t really horrible, but it was an ensemble of random, unpopular and ineffective – at best – narrative choices made just so the film based around a fighting videogame series revolving around a mystic deadly fighting tournament could put on the side doing the titular bout of Mortal Kombat.

It all felt like it was just someone at WB mandating it to be so in order to lure doing the actual MK plot in a sequel that was actually about what people wanted to see… and Mortal Kombat II is indeed that, as Shang Tsung’s plan to kill Earthrealm champions before the tournament could begin fell apart, so now Earthrealm has to compete against Outrealm, commanded by the tyrant Shao Khan (served also by the necromancer Quan Chi), and a new warrior has been chosen by the gods to fight for Earthrealm, a washed up 90s action movie hero called Johnny Cage…

And yes, Karl Urban as Cage already makes this one the better film, but yes, overall this is actually what people were expecting from a MK movie, lots of fights, the tournament, lots of gore, fun videogame-fantasy nonsense, absurd characters duking it out in mystical realms, going to Hell, the effects are better and the plot is actually okay, doesn’t have pacing narcolepsy or occasional tone issues the 2021 had, this time around embracing wholeheartedly its inherent trashy nonsense.

While i had have honestly a very fun, silly time with this one, i will have to dock the rating down a notch because.. well, because this is the film they should have made back in 2021.

Mortal Kombat (2021) [REVIEW] | Kombat Set-Up

Preface: i never saw the old MK movies, i really never cared about Mortal Kombat back in the day , but i do like gore, the old theme song, known the basic premise of the series, and some stuff i’ve absorbed by cultural osmosis, so why not?

Helps this is also a reboot of the MK film series.

The premise centers about mystical deathmatch tournament between the Outworld and The Earthrealm, as the chosen fighters of each factions engage in the titular “mortal combat”. As the Outworld has won nine of the previous tournaments and it’s set that the Earthrealm will be conquered by the Outworld if they lose the 10^th tournament as well, but there’s a prophecy about a new generation of Earthrealm fighters that will be united by the “blood of Hanzo Hasashi”.

So both sides try to locate the new chosen fighters for Earthrealm (recognizable by the dragon marking on their skin) to either eliminate or assist them before they can enter the tournament.

This “united by the blood of Hanzo” is an excuse to start off the movie in 17^th centhury Japan with a flashback about chinese assassin Bi-Han (aka Subzero) killing Hanzo and his family.

Its a strong opening, but after that we’re in a modern day America, following this Cole Young fellow, a now washed up MMA fighter, whose life gets even worse as he too is targeted by Bi Han/Subzero, now working for Outworld’s mystic sorcerer Shang Tsung, as he sending his underlings to preemptively kill all the Earthrealm champions so the next Mortal Kombat tournament won’t even be taken, and Cole indeed sports the dragon marking, unaware of his heritage and thrown into this when he just wants to protect his family…

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Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Fist Of The Roman Star: Ceasar’s Rage 2

As i said in the review of the first Slap Them All, they quickly made a follow up game 2 years later (as in 2022 Mr. Nutz Studio released that awful Joe & Mac port-remake), simply titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Em All! 2, and while i was planning to review this next year… by coincidence i ended up playing it and finishing it far earlier than planned, so

Sure, that will leave Mission Babylon as the only new Asterix & Obelix game by Microids to review next year, but whatever,

This time around the plot is original, and concerns the theft of an important Roman insigna, the Aquila (literally “Eagle”, a golden eagle insigna), which is blamed on Lutetian friends of the Gaul duo, and so Asterix & Obelix venture to find out who actually stole the Aquila and why, before they execute the entire Lutetian village as retribution, so important is the Aquila in political leverage terms for the Roman Empire than losing it is seen as a great public shame for the reigning emperor.

It’s not a bad plot, it’s fine, and at least it’s not just Ceasar once again throwing a scheme to finally conquer those pesky Gaul villagers.

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Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! PS4 [REVIEW] | Rock Em & Sock Em Romans

Because i’m slowly turning April into the “Asterix & Obelix” month, and due to a new CGI animated film, Asterix & Obelix: The Kingdom Of Nubia, releasing this October, we’re doing more of the Microids published Asterix titles.

Since we did all the titles in the XXL subseries of Asterix & Obelix games, we’re now tackling a retro styled 2D beat em up, the fittingly titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All!

The story is based on 5 classic Asterix & Obelix stories, plus an original final act, so if you were hoping for an original story, you aren’t getting that here, but the picks are indeed some of the more recognizable and beloved stories from the comic book series, like Asterix and The Normans, Asterix In Spain and Asterix & Cleopatra.

The game is fuckin gorgeous, to the point i believe they blew their entire budget on the hand-drawn style graphics, as the cutscenes are just cheap character sprites/portraits talking at each other while the portraits just fade in an out, and while the art style it’s loyal to the comic strips, it means there also some sadly fitting “ethnic stereotypes” brought over as is from the decade olds comics, like the poor black guy that is the sightseeing dude on the pirate ship and is routinely knocked over when Asterix & Obelix casually terrorize them when traveling, or the random “asian pirate with nunchuks” mid-tier enemies that might as well have “Mickey Rooney doing yellowface” masks on.

Speaking of the cutscenes, at least they voiced these, can’t say the same for Asterix & Obelix XXXL: The Ram From Hibernia… but in similar fashion to that they cheaped out and didn’t bother to dub it in italian as well, despite the franchise being really popular here still.

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30 Years Of ROCKET LAWNCHAIR, Kombat In The Street and The Shark Summer Parter

SNK released an official video celebrating the Metal Slug’s 30th anniversary a few days ago.

The video itself it’s nothing too special, just a thank you using footage from all mainline Metal Slug games (and Metal Slug Defense-Attack too), but it ends with a message displayed on a NEO GEO cabinet: “MISSION REBOOT”.

Obviously a teaser for a potential new mailine game in the future, i’d argue about damn time since the new Saudi prince-owned SNK had been pushing out a plethora of F2P gacha titles using the Metal Slug license, ranging from crap to ok, MS Awakening was actually ok as in it was as close as you could get to a proper MS title…. for a F2P thing, so getting an actual, proper Metal Slug game would be nice.

I mean, given the current nostalgia-driven market and how it has been almost 2 decades since the last mainline MS game, Metal Slug 7, released for the DS in 2008, then ported-expanded on PSP, Metal Slug XX came out in 2009, and that version was rereleased on modern consoles back in 2018, almost a decade ago already.

So the fans have been starved enough, and this comes alongside PlayOn rereleasing a new version of the home console version of the Neo Geo hardware, the NEO GEO AES +, which will have newly made carts for the console but also will be compatible with the old ones.

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Jo Jo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes Of Heaven PS4 [REVIEW] | OVER HEAVEN

For the first time in ever, i’m actually all caught up with Jo Jo as a whole (currently enjoying reading the print volumes of The Jojolands as they get released here), the Steel Ball Run anime finally started airing/streaming on Netflix this March, so i knew i had to cover some Jo Jo related stuff, and i had this sitting in my backlog for years, waiting for an occasion such as this.

A little game called Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure: Eyes Of Heaven.

I remember this being pretty much whipped by critics and fans alike at the time… which was almost 10 years ago, fuck. But on the upside, there’s definitely enough distance now for revalution.

Developed by Cyberconnect 2, better known for the Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm series and Asura’s Wrath, but also behind the good Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure All Star Battle, which they released 3 years prior as a PS3 exclusive, Eyes Of Heaven is definitely a non-canon adventure.

While i’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum, some are unavoidable since the game sure as hell expect you to know all the main events and ending of basically all 9 series, even with them presenting a digest premise during the story, more as a memory jog exercise, don’t play this if you aren’t familiar with all JoJo series… well, aside Jojolion, which at the time of release of the game wasn’t concluded yet, not that it matters much, given the nature of the plot, but you won’t get much spoiled about that series since it doesn’t have much representation, direct or not.

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Platformation Time Again #7: Wario World NGC/SWITCH2

For context: i played and completed the original release on Gamecube, previously reviewed it (more than once), but i recently played it from scratch and finished it again via the Gamecube Classics app on Switch 2, so this review is technically a rewrite, but it’s de facto new, almost completely done from scratch and rewritten/improved/revised to reflect my opinions on the game after re-revalution.

HISTORY

Wario needs no introduction, having been Mario’s Nemesis since its debut on Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins, and having not only its own peculiar platforming series, but in 2003 it also branched off into a new genre, with the peculiar mini-games compilation of the Wario Ware series, which had just debutted some months prior.

Wario World was also a peculiar case since it was not only the first 3D outing for a series that had been 2D platformers or puzzle games of sorts (including the Super Famicom exclusive Mario & Wario, and his reskin of Bomberman games, Wario Blast), but was also not developed by one of Nintendo’s internal development teams.

It was actually handled by Treasure, a beloved software house known for classics like Gunstar Heroes, Radiant Silvergun, Guardian Heroes, Ikaruga, after their collaboration with Nintendo on Sin & Punishment proved successful, that lead Nintendo R & D 1 wanting to do so again, but this time on a 3D iteration of the Wario series/franchise.

Who would turn down to opportunity to work on a 3D “Mario” game with Nintendo’s blessing, after all?

Definitely not 2000s’ Treasure, which was in a kind of identity crisis, coming off of both Sylpheed The Lost Planet and Stretch Panic/Freak Out/Hippa Linda not being well received (nor selling well either) and them basically having to take on more and more licensed tie-in work, for anything from Tiny Toons to anime series both well known (like the Bleach DS titles and the excellent Astro Boy: Omega Factor) or obscure, like a shonen series called Dragon Driver.

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