Categoria: Drama

Platformation Time Again #10: Donkey Kong 64 N64 | NSWITCH/NSWITCH2

HISTORY

I don’t think i need to explain who Donkey Kong is, heck, you wouldn’t need to do so even back in 1999, as the reboot of the series by british developer Rareware proved to be incredibly successful, reinvigorating DK for a new generation by updating it, and other phrases i’m probably gonna repeat when i eventually tackle the Country games, so i’m just stopping myself here.

Plus its not like DK became this niche Nintendo franchise fans spend years begging for a sequel that they most likely ain’t gonna get.

But for today, let’s pretend we don’t know what Bananza is, or even what Conker’s N64 game would turn out to be, for that matter.

After wrapping up the SNES trilogy of DK games with Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble in late 1996, a team of Rare employees were put to work on a Donkey Kong game for the N64….allegedly it was intended to launch for the then new N64DD add-on but most likely it was an idea by producers that quickly died when the add-on sales were shown to be exactly as low as they were expecting, after years of delays to debut into a market where the Compact Disc was indeed becoming the new norm and making cartridges obsolete.

Curiously it wasn’t even intended as a full 3D platformer, but instead as 2.5D platformer more in line with the Country series , though this version spend 18 months in developments, was ultimately scrapped (if anything of that version survives to this day, it’s being held secret by either old Rare and-or Nintendo staff, there’s no images of it circulating at the time of posting,), a lot of people that worked on Banjo Kazooie were brought in, and the game was reworked into being a typical 3D collectathon platformer in the vein of BK and it’s sequel, Banjo Tooie.

There’s a bit more to the production history of Donkey Kong 64, but it was mostly Rare doing their thing as usual by then, there’s no major scandal, but i would be a fool not talk about about how Nintendo staff checked-in to see the game early on, leading to a terrified Shigeru Miyamoto seeing DK given a realistic double barreled shotgun (producing realistic gun sounds) as a weapon to shoot cartoon beavers with, only for him to quickly sketch up a less alarming, more child friendly and less problematic weaponry, adding leaf branches, a more wooden design, the now iconic “coconut gun”, which was immediatly implemented in the game.

All of this just because the realistic gun was a placeholder Rare absent mindedly left in.

For reference, this review is based on both my old playthrough of DK 64 on original N64 hardware and a fresh run of the version released via the N64 Classics app/service on Switch 2 (as all N64 games, it can run on the old Switch 1 consoles as well).

Continua a leggere “Platformation Time Again #10: Donkey Kong 64 N64 | NSWITCH/NSWITCH2”

[EXPRESSO] Heart Of The Beast (2026) | The Dog Stars

Managed to see an early screening (it comes out regularly on the 24th here) of Heart Of The Beast, David Year latest, and i won’t lie, i didn’t go into this expecting much.

After all, this is exact movie the trailers made it seems, and the kind you could really predict beat for beat when you hear the premise: a retired wounded soldier, James Belmont, and his dog, Odin, a scarred mine detection dog with titanium teeth and a prostethic leg, are taking a hunting-camping trip in the forests of Alaska, and just chilling.

They meet J.K. Simmons playing an old gold prospector that also was relaxing in the woods, have a beer, but when the duo sets off the next day, they crash their plane, and will have to survive the wilderness as they try to reach a safe place, working together as always…

It’s exactly what you’d think it would be, but dispenses immediatly with the “did the dog die?” question, which is both preaching to the choir but also being fairly honest, as the movie doesn’t really pretend to be anything else, to its credit.

Yet, i won’t lie, despite being fairly slow, arguably a bit too slow paced, basically a bit of “think of the American military, won’t you?” propaganda, and predictable to a tee (as its emotional beats), it’s done surprisingly decent, thanks to Pitt’s performance (and Odin’s too), the direction sticking to its realistic survival premise with confidence, and unlike Liam Neelson, we don’t get just implication of wolf punch, we actually get to see the duo fight ‘em.

Plus, the final resolution trying to tug at your heartstrings in the expected way… actually is effective, i can’t deny that.

Nothing special or unforgettable, but Heart Of The Beast is a surprisingly decent film.

[EXPRESSO] Resident Evil (2026) | Rising Rookie

Is Capcom just gonna reboot RE for films every 5 years from now on?

Regardless, i feel we got very lucky this time, for the better, even if i did quite like Welcome To Raccoon City.

As it, they gambled by letting Zach Cregger (Weapons, Barbarian) direct and basically let him do whatever he wanted, but boy it paid off.

Instead of rehashing the storyline and characters of RE 1 and-or 2, this reboot has an original story and follows Bryan, a medical courier that is tasked to deliver a high risk item to the mountain town of Raccoon City, immediatly, but gets way more than he bargained for…

While there are some recognizable monsters from the series, this reboot takes many liberties with this as well, and it does for better, making something new instead of reharshing the old stuff, aside still doing some visual callbacks, it mostly makes its own identity, yet manages to evoke the games tone more faithfully than ever, as Creggers balances extremely well both tense scenes and comedic bits, stemming from genre savyness as well as the absurdity of it all for a protagonist that’s just…. a normal guy, giving a more realistic feel to a story that still over the top as a horror b-movie or videogame would be.

It’s a very funny movie that does indirectly celebrates its roots, but can also deliver some scary shit, some of the best jumpscares i’ve ever seen in a LONG time, alongside some really spectacular gore, some proper scary shit, very cool creature designs and a very likeable main character.

It’s a very good movie and so far the best one the series has ever got, “ironically” because it doesn’t shackle itself to treating the B-movie material of the games as some sort of Bible.

Sky Blue (2003) [REVIEW] | Cyberpunk Rain

I was gonna do a review of the new Ghost In The Shell anime series by Science Saru, but i’m gonna reserve a full lenght dissertation for something else, and while i’m feeling the upcoming Neuromancer TV series, that is dropping in January 2027.

So instead lets give a look to something else in the cyberpunk sphere, something that’s not often talked about and not even Japanese, with Moon-saeng Kim’s Sky Blue (AKA Wonderful Days), a 2003 South Korean animated film, which i’m fairly sure won’t ring any bell.

After all, i heard about it…. by not actually hearing about it, but instead discovered it while browsing online for cheap anime UK DVDs in a pre-Brexit situation, and one i kept stashed away in one of big ass disc cases for an occasion such as this.

I must say, maybe it is 20 years of aged hindsight, but the 2000s might have been a more interesting period for animation than most care to remember, because there were directors even in South Korea interested in adult animation and experimenting with the new technology…. to mixed results.

Continua a leggere “Sky Blue (2003) [REVIEW] | Cyberpunk Rain”

[EXPRESSO] The Ghost In The Shell (2026) | Future Past

At long last, the new Ghost In The Shell anime series is out, handled by Science Saru (Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, Devilman Crybaby, Japan Sinks 2020), and streaming internationally on Amazon Video.

As a very long time fan and GITS scholar, this new series held extra appeal as it was sold on being a loyal adaptation of Masamune Shirow original manga, which is oddly a novel proposition, since most of GITS incarnations refer to the Mamoru Oshii films as an example for tone and characterization, not really the manga.

So if you are familiar with those, the Stand Alone Complex or later iterations, you will be in for a surprise, putting aside Motoko Kusanagi’s very different characterization, even if the premise remains the same.

2029, the world is interconnected and cyborg enhancements have made the distinction between man and machine even more blurry, and in this cyberpunk future Motoko Kusanagi, an expert cyborg soldier, wants to establish a squad capable of tackling technological and security threats.

As it happens, government official Daisuke Aramaki is also planning to create a special organization, so he recruits Motoko and her squad to form Public Security Section 9, and as such intervene in case of terrorism, cybercrime and such.

This first season does adapt fully the original manga (meaning it doesn’t cover the sequel volumes, Human Error Processor and Man Machine Interface), as expected, honestly – aside the excellent faux 80s stylization – the animation is impressive, and it’s oddly novel to see an actually faithful anime adaptation of GITS, paradoxically standing out among the other iterations, and showing how strong the original Shirow work is, as it doesn’t really feel outdated.

which in itself it’s quite worrying, but honestly i don’t know what else i could ask for from this GITS adaptation.

[EXPRESSO] The Mortuary Assistant (2026) | Flat Possession Rate

Based on an indie horror game of the same name i’ve heard about but haven’t had the pleasure of playing yet, The Mortuary Assistant has a solid concept, with Rebecca, a mortician in training (with a past od drugs and alcoholism) that has graduated to assistant, being called in by her boss, Raymond, to do an unplanned night shift, with weird requests like embalming then cremating a corpse, but soon strange things start happening…

I’ll be honest, i was just expecting a lesser version of Autopsy Of Jane Doe, and i don’t know how much or if this rappresents the eponymous videogame, but i can sure recognize boring garbage when i see it.

It even starts off decently, but then constantly degrades, between boring flashbacks, tiresome hallucination scenes, or the demon tormenting… well, more dick around (often saying frankly laughable shit) to the protagonist, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear even when the plot stops for lore and-or exposition dumps, nor do we know why the entity doesn’t outright kill the downright stupid protagonist you won’t care about, as she keeps falling for the same obvious trap.

there’s no atmosphere, no tension, the acting is mediocre at the very, very best, everything (entities-monsters included) is just plopped there with no grace or gusto, the thin plot grinds to a halt so we can have lore and make it clear this was based on a videogame, stopping to find video tapes or solve a demonic puzzle by matching symbols or something.

It’s being professionally put together and sporting solid effectds doesn’t matter when it’s all so flat, stupid and boring, never actually scary, especially when its topped off with one hell of a non-ending that i’m not even sure was meant to sequelbait, but will just piss you off even more.

Magical Girl Of The End/Magical Girl Apocalypse manga [REVIEW] | Pervert Cop VS the Murder Megucas

While we can’t really blame this on “Madoka Magica Effect”, we can’t because this isn’t even trying to lure you …. still, you know that series’ success was bound to spawn magical girl manga like this.

Frankly, this isn’t the more absurd “magical girl but edgy” take, heck, this predates Magical Girls Ops Asuka, which has them weilding realistic firearms and getting PSTD, maybe we’ll do that sometime, but i wanted to do something magical girl related because the new Madoka movie somehow finally released in Japanese theathers not even a week ago.

That said, after all, what do you expect from an action horror manga called Magical Girl Of The End… or Magical Girl Apocalypse,, but i prefer the original title.

Written and illustrated by Kentaro Sato, Magical Girl Of The End begins where most of these shonen horror series do: with a massacre in a Japanese high school class, where an average and distant teen, Kii Kogami, sees a weird gothic lolita dressed humanoid appear and explode people heads like the Fourth Of July, only for the cadavers to rise as zombies, and thing have started going to shit outside too, as a flood of those weird monsters chanting “magical” drops from the sky.

Kii manages to escape the school alongside his childhood friend Tsukune and other survivors, bending together to try escape these “magical girls monsters” as they keep swarming and causing even more death and destruction…..

Continua a leggere “Magical Girl Of The End/Magical Girl Apocalypse manga [REVIEW] | Pervert Cop VS the Murder Megucas”

[EXPRESSO] The Dog Stars (2026) | The Post-Apoca-Bore

Ridley Scott is not thinking about retirement anytime soon, which is commendable, in a way, but between Spielberg arguablu shitting his Jesus aliens pijamas in public and a film like The Dog Stars, i do wonder if might be for the better to simply call it quits.

Mind you, this is a better film than Disclosure Day, you can quote me on that, it is.

And it’s not even “bad” per sé, there is nothing particularly wrong with anything in The Dog Stars, there’s just not much of anything new, original, unique or otherwise that hadn’t already been done to death with the post-apocalypse survival drama.

In 2035 America, a flu pandemic led to civilization collapse, forcing the few survivors to scavenge for food, items, humanity reverting back to being more tribalistic, feral and murderous.

Hig has “dead wife” syndrome and yet tries to help out the few peaceful pockets of humanity he knows, while fending off intruders on the lot he shares with his old friend-survival partner Bangley, and hoping to find a better place somewhere out there…

Again, nothing wrong, but also nothing that engaging either, and i’m not talking about the action and how is all located in the second half of the film, as it doesn’t change the fact it’s all very uninspired and frankly kinda dull, as the plot offers no surprises or compelling narrative, and is as stock and basic as the characters.

All amounting to 2 hours-ish of mediocre, sleepily paced, derivative film that doesn’t hurt to watch or becomes outright boring, but it’s just middling, constantly reeking of “been there, done that”, the good cast (and the very good photography) can only do so much, and regardless, it just feel fueled by the obligation of doing something more than an actual vision.

Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I make no secret that i veheemently hate Shark Exorcist, i’ve always hated it well before i re-reviewed it for the blog “shark month”, and while i’m not making a “Worst 10 Shark Films” listicle because there’s always something worse i haven’t seen or that just released that would make that obsolete very fast, if i did, i would put Shark Exorcist as the reigning champion of shit.

Not that Donald Farmer was ever a good director, he always made trashy B to Z movies, but this one i believe was maliciously made extra bad by design, but then again having 40 years of experience in trash cinema doesn’t guarantee you’ll retain any know-how, or care to even put on a semblance of any competence you’ve gathered, as it was frankly barely indistiguishable from crap like Jurassic Shark, made obviously by a bunch of kids with a camera and zero experience.

Again, it took some nega-effort to make Mark Polonia look like Spielberg in comparison, but Shark Exorcist was indeed something special, not your everyday homegrown Z-grade shark trash.

So when i learned last year Donald put out a sequel, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters back in 2024, 10 years after the first one…. i knew i had to cover it, and i’m not gonna let it fester too much in my mind this time, we’re doing this now so we can move on.

Here i’d discuss the plot but we already did the bit on the review of the first Shark Exorcist, which had a premise, an idea of a plot, not really an actual plot besides the first 5 minutes, or any actual structure, just random padding, “plot lines” that go nowhere, even calling it a “narrative gibberish” it’s too kind in hindsight, since it honestly doesn’t even have an ending or a proper resolution…. it just kinda stops, and reaches a runtime of 74 minutes just because of random post-credit padding.

Continua a leggere “Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist”