[EXPRESSO] Fast X (2023) | Furious Finale, Part 1

As the Fast And Furious series sheds even more words from their movie titles (in order to gain even more speed, obviously), with Fast X we reached the finale… kinda, as it’s a two parter, given how over the top the series is nothing else would have quite sufficed.

I would say they fumbled the opportunity to make the franchise go into space… but that already happened, so Fast X had to somehow up the ante of absolute bullshit that most people have come to love over the years. Myself included, these movies are so dumb but also utterly and sincerely committed that they come off as endearing.

It’s like a live-action shonen manga version of The Italian Job where superpowers are replaced by improbable car manouvers and the universe is themed/styled after the Gasolina music video, where Vin Diesel instead of unleashing a Bankai presses the NOS button or tailspins like a beyblade, it’s fucking great preposterous nonsense and i love it.

In terms of plot we have another shadow from the past style character, Dante Heyes, come and unleash vengeance for the “Toretto team” having killed his father many movies ago, and he’s planning to go full on the eye for an eye business upon Toretto’s family, prompting Vic and his allies on a world throtting chase to stop Dante’ schemes.

To be honest, this is kind of a lukewarm “part 1”, aside from the fact that yes, this is supposed to be heavier on setup… it’s a bit “meh”, as in, still entertaining but we’ve seen better and far more absurd shit happen in these movies, thankfully we have Jason Momoa as a fruity sociophatic villain stealing the show and giving the movie some needed energy.

Cautiously optimistic part 2 will actually be a worthy pay off.

[EXPRESSO] Alice, Darling (2022) | “The Truth Goes Unspoken”

As with most releases that distributors are afraid won’t do well, i had to catch this one in theathers not even a week after it was out, quickly before the week’s new releases would inevitably push it out of the schedule altogether, we gotta make space for a russo-hungarian cheap looking animated kids movie about a fuckin rat.

And i’m glad i did, because Alice, Darling tells the story of a woman in an abusive relationship, Alice (Anna Kendrick), that decides to go with her friends to celebrate one of them hitting the 30s, but to do so lies to her strange fianceè because she’s afraid of what he might say or do if he finds out. Or more likely when he finds out, as we slowly learn the kind of abusive, manipulating piece of shit he is, as Alice manages to eventually confront and escape from his web of calculated guilt tripping ways, and her friends also become aware of the situation, feeling like they could have done something better if they actually knew a long time ago.

What is notable is that despite the trailer (or the tags for the review, for that matter), Alice, Darling doesn’t have a “hook” in the way of epitomizing this via a horror or otherwise explicit and graphic angle. This is a slow burner without exploitation style trappings, the psychological abuse and violence is comunicated mostly visually, through timely silences, implications, the poignancy in the unsaid, and there’s no deliberaly exaggerated “setpiece”, as the movie depicts with success the many little things that seem innocuous or benign because the abused has accepted them as the new de facto normality, how they creep slowly over time unquestioned and can fester into a person.

A very solid, worthwhile feature debut for director Mary Nighy.

[EXPRESSO] John Wick 4 (2023) | Knights Of The High Table

Wasn’t sure if to review this one, but i eventually watched the first John Wick on Netflix for the first time, so yeah, whatever, gonna marathon this series days before seeing the new one in theathers.

So apparently the series as a whole has people kinda divided, but honestly i’m not quite getting the confusion as even the first movie was chock full of ultra stylish ultra violent revengeance that drew from many influences, indeed was a revitalizing kick in the ghoulies for the action genre, and already seemed like it was the best adaptation of a violent cult comic book that never was.

For the 4^th outing, it’s no surprise we get even more focus on the mythology of the assassins’ codes and the rules of this world that invites the same questions as WH40K does (“who cooks the meals without being bound via a blood pact to some finger collecting mob boss, etc.”), as we continue to see John Wick take on the High Table itself, after basically declaring war against it before.

Honestly i like these movies and how they try to up the ante every time, but if John Wick 3 seemed a little longer than necessary, Chapter 4 might result as downright bloated, as it pushes for a nearly 3 hours runtime, and could have benefitted to trim some of its many spectacular fights that sometimes go on so long they kinda start to grate on the audience a bit.

But i can forgive the excess as there’s plenty of very good action, and the pretty satisfying ending making it clear this is the intended end of the franchise, so hoping they will just stick with the already planned spin-offs, i’d say John Wick 4 it’s indeed quite “the blast” to end the series with.

[EXPRESSO] The Strays (2023) | Get Orf

Despite the brief description, this Netflix exclusive it’s not the home invasion horror thriller you’d think it would be…. kinda, since it’s clearly borne of the rise of “social horror”, it’s hard to not cite the obvious one here, since The Strays it’s clearly trying to walk in the path of Get Out.

And not really working for reasons i’m gonna explain after outlining the plot.

The Strays follows a light skinned woman called Neve, which leads a successful life as a vice-president of a private school (and a very white one) in a tiny but wealthy english suburb, and is overall well regarded by her peers, while she basically 100 % absorbed and perpetuates the mannerism of the white, rich and pastoral kind, having fundraisers for “less fortunate people”, not denying that they’re black but discouraging every aspect it might entails.

She is so immersed in this performative way of living that just the sight of two new black people in the ‘burbs is enough to shock and appall Neve, believing they “have it in” for her, or whatever.

The film tries to tackle themes of racism, class privilege, internalized self-repression, the set-up it’s good and promising, but then in the second act it kinda peters out as we go in flashback mode (plus the self-serving and unnecessary chapterization of events), and despite the final sequence being intense…. it just ends in a ironic fittingly way, as, despite all the things the movie wants to address, by the end it just quits in giving actual answers, undermining its very intention for commentary.

Frustrating, as there is something here that makes it worth a punt, the performances are solids, some scene quite intense, but the characters are lacking and the execution it’s disappointly non-committal despite intentions of doing so.

Pity.

Stonehenge Apocalypse (2010) [REVIEW] | Castiel, M.D.

There’s a free bingo slot in the schedule, so you know what it means: randomly picking of a B-movie from my watchlist on Amazon Prime Video, discarding the ones that are not available at the moment or require another paid subscription on top of the Prime one, despite being included before.

I’m SO not paying 10 to 30 bucks so i can watch Ghoulies II.

So instead we are going with the everabundant disaster movie choice, there are enough of these made for TV ones to craft a new artificial landmass, in case need be, and this time we’re doing Stonehenge Apocalypse, from our other recurring peddler of low budget TV movies about disasters, monsters and cheesy B-movie stuff all around, Cinetel Films.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Knock At The Cabin (2023) | Bautista Of The Apocalypse

Shyamalan is back to it after the aging beach shenanigans of Old, to tell the tale of a couple and their adopted daughter that, while going on holiday in a remote cabin in the woods, are visited by four mysterious, cultish individuals that invade their home, and then tell them they have been chosen and that the fate of humanity depends on them choosing a member of their own family to sacrifice in order to avoid the Apocalypse….

Quite the out-there premise, it’s a Shyamalan film alright, one that’s actually kinda difficult to discuss in any proper detail to avoid giving away hints of any kind about the “twist” could be, so i won’t be doing that (hence no talk about the ending, as you could assume by what i just wrote), but i will say that it’s quite intense and you never properly get to rule out definitely that these strange “home invaders” are saying, as you find yourself secondguessing what seemed like definitive proof, despite their odd behaviour and explained motives seeming truthful, so you end symphatizing with the antagonists as well with the couple and their child.

It starts out strong too, and it manages to keep the suspense all the way through, thanks to the excellent performances by the peculiarly assumbled cast of stars and the characters that make the movie stay consistent, the narrative gripping and help in make you overlook how heavy handedly are some themes approached (and some of the flashbacks feeling a bit like filler), making it all quite effective and honestly some of the best work M. Night Shyamalan has put out in recent years.

It’s perfect? No, but honestly it’s quite good and if you’ve ever liked one of the director’s movies, you’d be missing out by skipping this one.

[EXPRESSO] Junji Ito Maniac (2023) | Adaptation Curse

At this point in time i believe there is a factory somewhere producing monkey paws exclusively for adaptation of Junji Ito works, because you’d have to be a heathen to ask for more after the incredibly disappointing animated anthology known as Junji Ito Collection.

It hurts even more since this “sequel series” (once again handled by Studio DEEN as “Collection” was) basically showed up out of nowhere on Netflix, while the Uzumaki anime announced back in 2019 and supposed to release October last year has been postponed again.

In a fitting roundabout way, i’m not approaching in good spirit this 12 episode series, which also opts for sticking two short stories in one episode.

And honestly i’m not really surprised to realize that Maniac makes Junji Ito Collection look better in comparison, at the very least it had a better selection of stories, while this one seems to be running on fumes, so much that they do Tomie… AGAIN. Actually, they don’t do even that, just the chapters about the photos out of context and don’t even give that a conclusion.

Animation it’s mostly fine (CGI aside), but the selection is odd, questionable at best, the many stories often don’t work for a reason or another, be it editing, excessively brief runtime, lackluster direction, this when the stories themselves aren’t just kinda weak, underwhelming, not scary and forgettable to begin with.

There are some standout pieces, like the “Hanging Baloons” episode, and some odd comedic picks like The Bizarre Hikazuki Siblings, and it does get a bit better halfway through, but it’s not enough, not for a second attempt/season, and while it’s NOT the worst thing ever… please just go experience the various Junji Ito short stories in their original manga form instead of this sub-par anime anthology.

[EXPRESSO] The Plane (2023) | Militia Landing

There’s something to be said about a movie title that’s so incredibly generic and yet so apt it basically comes around to be perfect, as a plane it’s indeed the central focus, even when this big budget disaster b-movie about a pilot (played by Gerard Butler) trying to maintain order and make the passengers live through a ill-advised flight route (made worse as they’re forced to also take a convinct on board) over the South Chinese Sea…. well, it turns into another action movie about fighting off separatist militia thugs, because they happen to land into an island in the Philippines where there’s no real police or regular army presence, but local terrorists militia group/cartels control the place, forcing Gerard Butler to trust the convinct in getting the passengers back…

If you saw the trailer it’s exactly what you’d think it would be, that kind of unapologetic, moderately over the top (but not THAT over the top) action flick where Gerard Butler is here to save the day from generic action movie danger, the cliches overflow like blood from a goth fountain, but you could guess all of that by…. just the fact it’s a movie with Gerard Butler in it, let’s be frank.

You don’t go to see a movie like this to get out of your comfort zone, quite the opposite, as you want something that’s easy on the ol’ cerebellum, you want to snuggle with the expected stuff like the pilots keeping printed photos of their family with them and whipping them out to tempt fate, etc.

You want something predictable yet fun to kill some time, and i can’t deny The Plane it’s quite entertaining action movie junk food (but in a “good” way) all the way through, surprisingly a bit better than expected.

Decent timewaster.

Pinocchi-O-Rama: the 2022 “Pinocchio frenzy” and celebrating the 140th Anniversary of Collodi’s classic

No review today, sorry, but we’re doing something a bit special.

If you remember, last year was surprisingly full of Pinocchio adaptations, from the resurfacing of Guillermo Del Toro’s project, that cheap russian retelling/reworking with the infamous Paulie Shorie english dub (called Pinocchio – A True Story, FIY), and Disney continuining with their crusade of shitty live-action remakes of their classic animated films.

And italian audiences were also treated with a live-action Pinocchio movie in 2019, directed by acclaimed italian director Matteo Garrone (Dogman, The Tale Of Tales), and starring beloved italian actor Roberto Benigni, which already was world famous for playing the titular character in the 2002 Pinocchio movie.

If you’re like me, as in italian and pretty much hailing from Tuscany, living nearby Florence, hence more than familiar with the original book by Luigi Collodi, you’d be wondering why now, as it seemed random to see a resurgence of Pinocchio adaptations out of the blue. I mean, the book was already in the public domain in the U.S. since 1940, so i wondered if there was some anniversary relating some of the more famous adaptations…. but nothing that made sense.

As in, the original book was first published (in full, after it was published in a weekly children’s magazine starting 1881, then stopped and eventually resumed with the second part) in 1883, so the following year would mark the 140th anniversary, notable but not the kind of number that publisher choose to publicize some new edition of a popular book.

Doesn’t have quite that ring, but somehow 2022 was the “Year Of Pinocchio” regardless, so irked by this i’m gonna do “sumethin about it” and actually spotlight a noteworthy or overlooked Pinocchio adaptation or “heavily inspired by ” work each month of 2023, with special reviews, starting with a post/review at the very end of January.

There will be no precise release windows for each piece, just each a month for the entirety of 2023.

[EXPRESSO] Alice In Borderland (Season Two) (2022) | Fallen Figures

After a good year plus of waiting, the second season of Alice In Borderland is here (again, as a Netflix exclusive show), picking up where the cliffhanger finale left our protagonists, who now are pretty much forced to confront the new games held by the high ranking card figures, with teams of “inhabitants” that challenge the players directly, in the hope of figuring out a way to come back home, or if there’s even a way out to begin with..

There are some surprise comebacks, new faces, and the various games are quite entertaining and creative, the returning characters get more characterization, and ultimately we also learn a lot more about this “Borderland” world, even though we don’t get many answers because we’d lose that vague mystique and there’s technically enough source material for a third season.

Speaking of which, while i’m personally kinda tempted to lower the overall score/vote for the ending alone – that and some really cliched and basic philosophical wafflings – … i will give it credit since it could work as a proper conclusion for the series overall.

As i said before, you can clearly tell it’s adapted from a manga series, one that draw easily into the popular branch of suspense/supernatural death games (very akin to The World Ends With You crossed with stuff like As The Gods Will) and also belongs to the battle royale subgenre, though this live-action adaptation had the accidental luxury of releasing worlwide just before Squid Game – and its craze that re-popularized the battle royale – came into existence.

Overall, i’ve enjoyed this one more than the first season, it’s just more compelling in terms of characters, death games and stakes, making me surprisingly glad i gave it a chance, even if it’s a bit flawed at times.