[EXPRESSO] Whalefall (2026) | Of Monstro And Men

Figures the best movie i see all week is the one that might sound like an Asylum turducken proposal, since it was marketed heavily on the premise of a guy scuba diving that not only sees a giant squid, but accidentally gets swalloved by a sperm whale that was hunting and already gobbled said squid, and is forced to try survive the inexpected Pinocchio style innerwhale exploration.

Sure you can word it to sound stupid and outrageous, but even without the squid it’s already a terrifying and novel premise for an underwater survival thriller, you really can’t get much more claustrophobic than the insides of a living creature, and the many moments of body horror it brings.

Yeah, there’s not too much to premise itself, that is gist, with the protagonist having just 1 hour of oxygen left to escape, but already the context makes it clear the themes underlining the spectacle of the survival itself, since the scuba diver, Jay, decides to go under in spite of everything else because he hopes to find the body of his estranged father, whom afflicted by cancer, decided to drown himself.

He wants to get closure due to the troubled relantionship he had with him even before the cancer, but in these moments of desperation, Jay recalls the many lessons his very stern father taught him (often teaching him the importance of the ocean and its creature), confronting his repressed feelings and coming to also understand – a bit more – why he was like that.

Not wholly original but its very effective, as the emotional core of the film sustains the intense, gripping and often disgusting survival, the few main characters are pretty well defined (and very well acted by Abrams and Brolin) and i feel is as long as needed.

Final Verdict: ExpressoFigures the best movie i see all week is the one that might sound like an Asylum turducken proposal, since it was marketed heavily on the premise of a guy scuba diving that not only sees a giant squid, but accidentally gets swalloved by a sperm whale that was hunting and already gobbled said squid, and is forced to try survive the inexpected Pinocchio style innerwhale exploration.

Trying out the Godzilla Destroy All Monster Melee Remastered Demo

So as announced earlier on, a demo for the upcoming remaster of Godzilla Destroy All Monsters released yesterday on Steam, i played 1 hour of it (roughly), and since i did boot up and played a bit of the old version on Gamecube couple weeks ago… let’s talk about it.

Also because it will either be delisted or deactivated entirely October 28th, it’s also not clear if the save will carry over from the demo to the full game on Steam.

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[EXPRESSO] Street Fighter (2026) | Human Killing Machine

FIY, i never saw the old 1994 live action adaptation (or the 2006 one).

Still, there is something to be said about modern videogame films somehow failing to adapt the source material, getting lost in bullshit of their own making.

It’s just tiresome to see the new Street Fighter live action reboot catch every rake in the face like Sideshow Bob.

Despite on paper adapting the plot of Street Fighter II, this story focuses on Ryu and Ken being trained together as martial artist, like brothers, until a tragic event sets them apart, but now, with Lord Bison helming the second World Warrior Tournament, they are now bound to meet again….

it’s not bad per sé, but the narrative doesn’t move, as it stumbles drunkenly to setpieces from setpieces for 2 hours, with no focus to anything (we just outright skip big chunks of the tournament), hyperactive editing and weird choices that let you see very little of the otherwise entertaining fight scenes, all leading up to a “stop”, overconfidently setting up the sequel instead of writing a third act.

it has the same kinda of nostalgia (just swapping the ’80s for the ’90s) of the recent Masters Of The Universe film, and the same tone issues, flipping constantly from a quippy comedy where they forgot to put actual jokes in, or being sincere, in a way that neither works, with the actors either sleepwalking their parts or going full ham.

the best thing this movie has, the anime styled flashbacks are cool… just makes you wish the entire movie was made that way.

This isn’t awful, i did enjoy it at times, but it’s on the lower side of mediocre, and i docked the vote down a notch, for similar reasons i already did on the MKII film review.

[EXPRESSO] Other Mommy (2026) | Doppel Mutter

Know what, i can’t claim that the trailers for Other Mother were misleading, this indeed the kind of slapdash, jump scare ridden thing you’d expect, boiling down to someone trying to make an entire horror movie about a screenshot of Other Mother from Coraline someone forwaded them.

Bela is a regular kid… well, aside the fact she is friends with an entity that lives in her house and she has come to call “Other Mommy”, because she looks like her actual mother.

The entity has had enough of just being “second banana”, so it manifests in increasingly dangerous fashion trying to sway the girl to her side…

In a way i was surprised because the movie doesn’t play any cheap trick of the “Unsorry Mommy” being just in the child’s imagination or not, this thing is real, tangible and will explode your brain into confetti, and there’s no half the movie predicated on the parents slowly realizing the entity is actually real.

… But that isn’t nearly enough to make this even mediocre, let’s not accept “things do happen” as an actual standard when there’s little to no plot, the characters are paper thin stereotypes, the jumpscares limp, most of the “weird morphing” fees like rejected Backrooms-esque material.

I’ts never proper scary, though it’s hard to even feel any tension because not a single character reacts appropriately to anything that happens, they all just shrugh it all off, regardless.

There’s little to no logic (or depth) to almost anything, and frankly this feel like an untentional “supernatural entity” variation of the Pickle Rick episode.

It’s not boring per sé, nor is it “the worse thing ever”, it’s not, yet at just 93 minutes feels stretched, and it’s also not quite unintentionally hilarious, just a “slightly different than expected” kind of garbage.

The Spooktacular Eight #36: Snoop Dogg House Of Horrors (2006)

I gotta admit, despite everything (and he sure has bought into some questionable shit) i love me seeing some Snoop Dogg bullshitting around, so yes, have him do a ghetto Cryptkeeper presenting and commenting an anthology of short horror stories themed around an American inner-city ‘hood.

So yes, this is basically a Snoop Dogg licensed “Tales From The Hood”, which i discovered only after locking this into the schedule (and i’ve heard it’s pretty dang good), sorry but we’ll make do.

Yeah, there’s not much to say about the presentation, but i was curious when this showed up on Amazon Prime Video and for some reason has an anime-esque style animated prologue… and yes, it’s because it customary for horror anthologies (as this way they also tribute the old horror comics these films often base their material on), but i was also right, because the animated intro and outro are animated by renowned anime studio MADHOUSE.

Kinda funny because this also predates their work on The Boondocks, though these sequences are stylish but they’re not well animated, let’s be honest, most likely as they were done on the extra cheap, which wouldn’t surprise me, since it’s indicative of the production as a whole.

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[EXPRESSO] L’Estranea/The Spiral (2026) | Not My Uzumaki

The latest from italian director Marco Strippoli, after his celebrated La Valle Dei Sorrisi (released worlwide as The Holy Boy), L’Estranea, which translates to The Stranger but is releasing under the international title of The Spiral.

And before you ask, no, it’s got nothing to do with Junji Ito’s Uzumaki/Spiral, this is actually a psychological horror revolving around the fall from grace of a previously wealthy and influent South Italian family.

After years, the mother shows up at her daughter’s house in Rome, trying to explain how all the disgraces the family had to endure where brought about by how, after an accident with the family dog, the mother struck a Faustian deal with a mysterious woman.

But after the first two very, very good chapters, the movie just kinda drops off, instead of exploring further its themes and ideas it just sticks to repeating them, to hold pattern, in a very traditional way that kinda clashes with the ambition of being more akin to a modern psychological horror film.

It’s a shame because the acting is great and direction is so good you almost won’t care…. until the finale, which is both fitting but doesn’t that much going on after all, and while not underwhelming, it franklyit feels like a compromise so we can fish for some Oscars and to be more like an A24 release, to walk an already overtrodden path, despite the intent to also give the movie its own Italian identity being successful.

I will subtract a point because i really respect Strippoli, i do agree it’s one of the new promising authors of Italian horror, so i won’t be handing out pity points to an author that doesn’t need them, since he had already demonstrated he’s capable of even better.

Still worth seeing, absolutely so.

The Spooktacular Eight #35: The Monster Of Piedras Blancas (1959)

The 50s were the new golden age of classic monsters… and a lot of stinkers, cheesy drive-in stuffers, often made to profit off each other.

This is case for the when Universal created a new monster icon, the aquatic Gill Man, in 1954’s Creature From The Black Lagoon, and while it’s not the more revisited of the classic “50 monster pantheon”, it created an enduring depiction of the “fish man” monster.

Riding the success of the 1954 debut film for the Gill Man, Universal pumped out two sequels the following years, to mixed reception, but when you have a successful trilogy, you attract imitators.

This is the tale of its most infamous drive-in knock off, The Monster Of Piedras Blancas.

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[EXPRESSO] The Social Reckoning (2026) | Nothing Ever Changes

It feels like aeons ago when i saw The Social Network, which gets more impressive in retrospective as it tackled issues that would explode just some years later, while this sort of follow-up (also written by Aaron Sorkin) has the issue of being dated on arrival, being set between 2019 and 2021, tackling the changes made by Facebook that shaped it as an echo chamber designed to promote hate speech and harassment, leading to January 6^th insurrection at the Capitol and a former Facebook employee helping move a federal case by a series of exposè via the Wall Street Journal.

So you already know that Facebook simply tanked the issue and nothing really changed (for the better), that there was no actual “reckoning”, and it’s convenient how the timeframe is very safe to make the point about the necessity to speak out, to fight for justice regardless, plus it’s utterly spineless that despite the January 6^th insurrection being a pivotal event that the movie comes back to a lot, Donald Trump isn’t named once.

That aside, the other main issue is that the drama is just drab, not unwatchable, but it’s hard to care about the Facebook data analyst girl that acts as whistleblower and helps this “tech illiterate” political journalist unveil Zuckenberg’s plans, or anyone else, the very good cast really can’t work miracles with these flat characters, and both factions frankly do very little considered what is at stake.

even when the company learns of the leaks and the girl fears retaliation, it amounts to a lot of empyt posturing, so there’s so sense of menace or urgency to any of the drama.

You can tell Fincher didn’t direct this one, i’ll say that much.

Maybe Guadagnino’s Artificial (if it ever comes out in theathers) will be better?

Early October Midweek Check

This week will be relatively dry of EXPRESSO reviews, as the one for Other Mommy has been delayed, but you can look forward to the ones for The Social Reckoning and Strippoli’s L’Estranea (sold internationally as The Spiral).

I would love to catch a preview screening for Godzilla Minus Zero at one of Italy’s biggest comic conventions, Lucca Comics & Games, but at the moment i’m not even sure i will be able to go at all (and even if i can go, i might decide not to because every year tickets are more expensives, unbelievably so), it’s still all up in the air, so i can’t promise anything on this specific matter… yet.

See ya tomorrow for the next Spooktacular Eight review!

[EXPRESSO] Onslaught (2026) | Die Dudermensch

On paper, this should be an easy win, even if it’s a bit weird A24 is distributing what is really a genre offering reminescent of 80s exploitation grindhouse action flicks like The Exterminator.

Onslaught is about Celeste, an US army sniper, whom has defacto retired into a parking lot in the New Mexico desert to deal with her PTSD, complicating her troubled family life.

That is, until a trio of genetically engineered super soldiers, created by a former Nazi scientist, escape from the secret experiment bases they were held in, killing everyone in their path, and eventually moving their systematic massacre to Celeste’s parking lot..

Apparently this is a continuation from Adam Wingard’s 2014 movie Guest, which i didnt’ see, and on its own, Onslaught, despit some stylistical apt choices and some good old school practical gore effects, doesn’t really live up to its own title, in every aspect it lacks the substance, it never displays or conveys the raw fury it promises, nor manages to properly develop some of its ideas.

Maybe it would be easier to accept the movie for what it is instead of what could have been…. if it didn’t deliberately AND aggressively built up the final “onslaught” to be some this thing you need to brace for, and frankly you really don’t, it’s not even that excessive.

Even the literal super soldaten are kinda of a letdown, i liked the idea of these being de facto militarized slasher villains… but that is really as far as it goes.

It’s entertaining, the action is fun, the characters mostly stock but okay, and it’s barely above 90 minutes, so it’s not boring and knows to keep things as long as they need to, but you’d wish the movie didn’t set itself up for disappointment as it did.