30 Years Of ROCKET LAWNCHAIR, Kombat In The Street and The Shark Summer Parter

SNK released an official video celebrating the Metal Slug’s 30th anniversary a few days ago.

The video itself it’s nothing too special, just a thank you using footage from all mainline Metal Slug games (and Metal Slug Defense-Attack too), but it ends with a message displayed on a NEO GEO cabinet: “MISSION REBOOT”.

Obviously a teaser for a potential new mailine game in the future, i’d argue about damn time since the new Saudi prince-owned SNK had been pushing out a plethora of F2P gacha titles using the Metal Slug license, ranging from crap to ok, MS Awakening was actually ok as in it was as close as you could get to a proper MS title…. for a F2P thing, so getting an actual, proper Metal Slug game would be nice.

I mean, given the current nostalgia-driven market and how it has been almost 2 decades since the last mainline MS game, Metal Slug 7, released for the DS in 2008, then ported-expanded on PSP, Metal Slug XX came out in 2009, and that version was rereleased on modern consoles back in 2018, almost a decade ago already.

So the fans have been starved enough, and this comes alongside PlayOn rereleasing a new version of the home console version of the Neo Geo hardware, the NEO GEO AES +, which will have newly made carts for the console but also will be compatible with the old ones.

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[EXPRESSO] Lee Cronin’s The Mummy (2026) | Sacrifice Unto Sebek

As the title implies, this isn’t really a remake of the classic 1932 Universal film, nor a reboot of the 1999 Frasier starring film (which is actually coming in a couple years, because we live in the past permanently in the future), but more of a new retelling of the mummy and its mythology.

Set in modern days, we have a family that – while briefly living in Cairo – suffers the disappearance of the youngest daughter, Katie, by a mysterious woman.

8 years later, the family is still heartbroken but had to somewhat moved on, until they receive the news from Egyptian authorities of Katie being found in a 3000 years old sarcophagus, which itself somehow survived a deadly plane crash.

Even stranger, Katie is found, heavily scarred, wounded, in a catatonic state but alive, so she is brought back into the family, but soon her behaviour becomes even more worrying and strange events afflict the family…

Lee Cronin’s take on the classic monster has some nice ideas to make it distinct and not just a rehash of the old mummy myth, modernizing with a touch of folk horror and some creepy ambience, but it’s not fully realized as it relies a bit too much on other horror cliches, to the point it basically pivots to be just another exorcism film with an Egyptian flavor topping.

Props for it actually taking place a lot in Egypt and involve actively egyptian characters (instead of just having scenes in Cairo at the beginning), plus there is some good gore, but it never becomes properly scary, nor it manages to escape some overdone trapping with exorcism/possession films, the good acting helps as the characters ain’t much more than functional, and the script could have used some trimming, as the runtime feels bloated.

[EXPRESSO] Thrash (2026) | Hurricane Sharks

A new shark movie just released on Netflix by Tommy Wirkola?

You got my attention, as i do like Wirkola as a director, but his output is often inconsistent, and this is far less Dead Snow or The Trip and more akin to his notably mediocre stuff like Seven Sisters.

The plot is basically like a more realistic take on Sharkenado via Alexandre Aja’s Crawl, as in, a level 5 hurricane is approaching a coastal town and the subsequent flooding brings in ravenous sharks, attracted by a meat truck splitting in half and basically inviting them to a feeding frenzy, the menù being a gaggle of unlucky people stuck in the flooded town.

Not a bad premise, not original, but it can work, and… it mostly does.

As in, it’s not good, but to be clear it’s just okay, it’s fine, it gets things going fast, its barely 90 minutes(ish) long, and while i do like that Wirkola films have some humour to them regardless, in this case the tone is undecisively split between being serious and jokey, with neither side working too well, even with some good actors like Djmon Hounsou we have characters that aren’t interesting nor fleshed out.

It’s a movie stuck between the desire to be a full on B-movie and wanting to be a serious shark film that never resolve its own tonal dilemma, plus even the shark effects are kinda lacking.

It has some standout moments but for every step towards being decent there’s something else dragging it back down to serviceable mediocrity, so i guess it’s for the better that it was once meant for theathers but eventually released on Netflix, since at least i didn’t have to fork out extra bucks for a mediocre, watchable but forgettable shark film such as this.

[EXPRESSO] Ready Or Not 2: Here They Come (2026) | Competitive Shemhamforash-ing

The first Ready Or Not was a refreshing modern twist on the classic formula first pioneered by The Most Dangerous Game, as in, fiv-i mean seven years ago the modern “eat the rich” subgenre of horror wasn’t yet saturated to exhaustion, and of crap like HIM (not the band) or Blink Twice.

So making a sequel isn’t necessarily a good idea, especially since the approach is quite simple, as it double downs with more of everything, taking place immediatly after the ending of the first one, with Grace’s survival setting in motion a bigger ritual that involves the other elite families reunited to take part in a manhunt to obtain a seal of ultimate power, again against Grace, and her estranged sister that gets forcedly roped into this satanic mess.

I mean, to make my point, this released the same month as They Will Kill You, which is also an action horror comedy about a devil worshipping cult made of powerful rich assholes and the protagonist is in this mess because of her sister, though the context isn’t the same, the style is far more grindhouse, even the usage of the supernatural element is for slightly different purposes.

Even so, the question is inevitable, and i would say this is the better film, as the approach of more of the same actually works for this sequel, there’s simply more to the plot, to the characters, bigger stakes, a proper sense of escalation, less repetition and a better handling of its themes (even as they have become overly familiary by now) making for a fun and funny action horror romp.

Comparisons asides (i’d say just watch them both if you can), it’s a good sequel and i gotta admit, it’s still funny to see people explode like rubberbanded human watermelons.

Paws Of Fury: Samurai Academy PS5 [REVIEW] | Dogurai Defense

My first impression was “the fuck is this?” when stumbling upon it on Amazon.

Then i looked at the cover and a stupid memory emerged, that yes, i recognize these characters, they’re from that middling and unexplicable animated kids film remake of Mel Brook’s Blazing Saddles, The Legend Of Hank: Paws Of Fury, which i reviewed last month.

Problem is, that came out in 2022, and i’m fairly sure most people do not even know it exists or already forgot, but apparently it didn’t do nowhere as bad as one would assume in terms of box office and streaming revenue (though according to Wikipedia it didn’t even break even), yet i wonder why a tie-in videogame its coming out 3 years after the film it “tie-ing” into released?

Even more, now dropping the “Legend Of Hank” subtitle and feeling even more like a rejected Bubsy pitch?

This seems like some primo kusoge beef, if you will. It has the stank all over it.

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[EXPRESSO] The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) | Starbound and Bible Black

While i (mostly) stand by my review of the first Super Mario animated film by Illumination… i do wanna stress out i didn’t mean it was great (i even said “considering it’s from Illumination”), but i found it to be pretty fun regardless even if it was trying to basically be a big nostalgia trip and advertisment vehicle.

If nothing else, the Super Mario Galaxy Movie is a follow up that clearly knows it doesn’t have to put any effort in terms of plot, as the first movie did set up the characters and the world, so this one instead quadruples down on nostalgic Nintendo references to any of their Mario or non-Mario related franchise, including a certain starbound, Thunderbirds inspired woodland creature whose presence leaked days before release.

To be fair, the plot isn’t really that thinner than the previous movie, and adapting Galaxy’s story – with a splash of Sunshine’s via Bowser Jr. – isn’t a bad choice, but since they did establish the world in the first film, they decided to use this as an excuse to pump in even more characters and references instead of actually giving anything (like the romantic subplot) some space to breathe, beside the main focus, as in, Bowser Jr. launching a scheme to free his dad via Rosalina’s powers.

As a result it’s even more than the first movie an ensemble of things just happening, as the screenwriters just throw scenes and characters, all Mario (and non-Mario) things all into the pot, regardless… which the previous film did, but not to this degree, and the short runtime futhers exacerbates the matter.

I will admit it’s still very well animated, very cute, and the actions scenes (especially the various fights) are well done, making for a decent animated kids film. It’s okay.

[EXPRESSO] They Will Kill You (2026) | Viscerae Satanae

There’s something to say about modern efficiently descriptive titles, as indeed you can get more direct of a title for a horror film than “They Will Kill You”, and it’s indeed pretty on the money, as the plot sees a young woman get recruit as a cleaning lady for the renowed high class hotel Virgil, but soon discover she was actually chosen as a offering to Satan himself, as the Virgil is basically a temple dedicated to him and his (mostly rich assholes) followers.

Little do these cultists know that their chosen sacrifice has undergone a Shaman King styled training arc while in prison, so she’s not stopping at anything on her quest for familiar revenge, especially now that she has been released, and has packed enough tools to do the deed, even if the Virgil has more supernatural shit going on than anyone could ever imagine.

It’s a action horror comedy romp of grindhouse style and proportions,with lots of graphic, deliberately over the top violence and lots of splattering of organs and blood all over the place, very reminescent of Tarantino’s style (down to the breaking down in chapters for twists and character backstories, plus some feet licking early on) and his emulation of the old grindhouse exploitation films, but the supernatural angle helps this stand out, basically making this a sort of revenge battle royale against satanic cultists that are almost as deadly as the ones in Blood.

It’s really fun, and even though the structure might feel a little repetitive, the short runtime helps the action flow fast & hard, plus even if you more or less figured out where it’s gonna go, there’s still plenty of unexpected and weird, over the top but also incredibly entertaining shit to keep the splatterworks and fun factor very high.

Final Verdict: Expresso

Space Monster Wangmagwi (1967) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

Digging deep into the kaiju fishin’ hole of mid ’70s to late ’80s with this one, which i’m quite sure none of you has even heard of, Space Monster Wangmagwi.

And i can’t blame you because it was basically unheard of outside of South Korea until its 2022 international screening at the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal, and released on home video in 2023… for US home video, but it’s something.

Ailing from South Korea and actually being the earliest surviving South Korean giant monster movie (as the original 1962 Pulgasari is considered lost, just its script surviving as part of the Korean Film Archive), being made during the later child-friendly phase of Godzilla’s Showa era, actually the same year of the second Toho produced King Kong film, King Kong Escapes.

It’s also kinda surprisingly cheap, right away it gives off that aura as it’s a late ’60s films… in black and white and with production values that make me think Prince Of Space didn’t look that bad, though the laughable “tin can suits” the aliens (which show very human eyes through the eyehole-visor part of their suits) wear doesn’t help, as does the very cheap look of the ships dials and obvious old school phones and shower caps covered in kitchen tinfoil.

Still better than the “airplane cockpit cum shover privacy curtain” of Plan 9, but with that opening scene setting the bar for the special effects pretty low, i was expecting the scubagorilla from Robot Monster to be the kaiju the aliens would unleash…. you’d wish.

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[EXPRESSO] The Last Viking (2025) | Brother Pepper

One thing i didn’t quite expected from cinema in the future is to spawn a “Beatles-borne/like” kind of subgenre, and i’m not even talking about the 4 upcoming films about the band by Sam Mendes, or Across The Universe. i’m talking about having the Beatles be the instrumental catalysts of unrelated films, for example Danny Boyle’s 2019 film, Yesterday, where a mediocre singer found himself isekai’d into a world where the Beatles never existed, while he does remember their songs.

Again, it’s a Doofenschirmz situation, it is weird it happened at least twice, this time for the sake of crime comedy, the Norwegian-Danish The Last Viking.

A criminal, Anker, after having paid his 15 years sentence for a bank heist, he comes home, planning to retrieve the loot as he had his autistic brother Mandred hide the money underground in a place they knew… problem is Manfred now believes himself to be John Lennon (among other things), so Anker has to deal with this and try to play along, travelling together to some childhood places of theirs in order to eventually make him remember where he hid the money.

Which might mean having to get the “Beatles” back together.

Obviously this leads Anker to confront his rooted family traumas and his difficult relationship with his brother Manfred, and the movie to tackle the themes of mental health, happiness, perception,, but also – and especially – acceptance of one self, finding solace in our own “madness” in face of a delusional reach for complete, unrealistic “real sanity” , through a lot of surreal bizarre characters, grotesque situations, and plenty of dark comedy.

And i do mean dark comedy, it’s funny and hearthwarming in the end, but even for a Nordic black comedy it can get so bleak to be almost depressing.

[EXPRESSO] Don Chisciotte (2026) | Romance Dusk

A new, Italian adaptation of the famous Don Quixote by Cervantes, also based off an old theathre adaptation of the same classic story by an often unsung master of italian cinema and theathre (among others thing, he co-wrote Bycicle Thieves) Gerardo Guerrieri.

While i’m not familiar with Guerrieri treatment-version of the story, i think this aspect it’s worth noting because some there’s a theathrical flair and approach to some scenes, for better or worse, not that i think this is a proper, major flaw.

That said, this is a straightforward adaptation of the classic novel, taking place in its proper time period and locations, but aside the beginning and end framing this as Cervantes himself envisioning his book while being treated at a hospital after partecipating in the Battle Of Lepanto (and a couple of events are cut to avoid the film go over the 2 hours runtime) it is indeed Don Quixote, and ironically the fact it’s not a modernized take gives it more impactful.

Sure, while i did like Gilliam’s take on the tale (for example), i also understand that in a way there’s no need to modernize the story, as it’s themes do keep on resonating as strong as they do today, and reconfirm this as a modern classic not just because they tell you it is and make you read it in school.

I won’t lie, at times its committment to being faithful makes it a bit too didactic, some of the acting isn’t amazing, but the main performances of Alessio Boni (Don Quixote) and Fiorenzo Mattu (Sancho) are great, photography is quite good, and the committment to have the world feel extra concrete extends to avoid any digital effects, as in, they actually built real windmills and windmill props, which is extra laudable especially now.