The Spooktacular Eight #33: Spawn (1997)

2004’s live action Devilman, consider yourself spared, as this year (due to recent events contributing to schedule changes) we’re doing instead 1997’s Spawn.

I did got the Blu Ray release by Arrow Video, and it was still in its factory wrap, so time to…. actually visit for the first time, i never saw this in theathers or TV, i was too young back then, my first time seeing Spawn at all was when Soul Calibur II console ports released and the X-Box version got him as the console exclusive guest character.

But it was hard not to hear about in the 2000s as one of the worst comic book films ever, an infamous reputation so widespread and radicated, a stink to it that even The Venture Bros couldn’t resist throwing a jab at it in late 2009-2010, a foul reputation that never really went away.

And just putting this out, i wasn’t aware until i decided to swap this into the 2004 Devilman‘s slot that they’ve been trying to reboot the brand with a new film for decades, and apparently this time around it most likely will happen, we got recent news of the reboot coming along… or maybe it won’t, as the superhero genre is well past his peak in terms of popularity.

I will not claim any responsability over that either way.

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PO’ED: Definitive Edition PS4 [REVIEW] | Mein Soufflè!

I have played a few FPS in my days, not too many, but sure as hell i never played PO’ED, never even heard of the frigging thing until the AVGN episode about the 3DO, to be honest, as i never knew anyone growing up that had that thing (which i assume is the case for almost everyone else), and i never even stumbled upon the PS1 port.

So i was curious, realized that Nightdive did actually do a remaster in their KEX engine for this oscure mid 90s FPS, and i got during a PSN sale.

It just called to me, as the forgotten weird ass FPS where you play as a chef and use frying pan to kill alien ass monsters, i knew i had to play it.

The story is all explained in a letter text dump where the protagonist, a chef named Ox, writes to his mum how that sweet paying gig on a spaceship …didn’t go as planned, as aliens infiltrated the ship, killed all the mercs, so he’ll have to take on some fresh meat.

And he’s indeed – title drop – Pissed Off, as he writes in the few text scrolls/letters.

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Platformation Time Again update plans

I have more updates about the blog to share in the future, but let’s start with something i can confirm right now.

Platformation Time Again not only will keep going as usual (if I could i would make it even more recurring of a rubric), but alongside the EXTEND addendums, a will be dedicating a sub-rubric to collections, compilations, and so on, especially due these are becoming more and more widespread as the industry is really scraping about everything in their back catalogue, and platformers (alongside beat em ups) are a big part of this surge of “new money for old rope”.

Specific rules are being written as of now, but it’s 100 % a thing that will happen regardless.

A couple new EXPRESSO reviews will arrive very soon, in the meantime, and you can read my review of the recently released Heart Of The Beast of you so desire.

See ya.

Platformation Time Again #10: Donkey Kong 64 N64 | NSWITCH/NSWITCH2

HISTORY

I don’t think i need to explain who Donkey Kong is, heck, you wouldn’t need to do so even back in 1999, as the reboot of the series by british developer Rareware proved to be incredibly successful, reinvigorating DK for a new generation by updating it, and other phrases i’m probably gonna repeat when i eventually tackle the Country games, so i’m just stopping myself here.

Plus its not like DK became this niche Nintendo franchise fans spend years begging for a sequel that they most likely ain’t gonna get.

But for today, let’s pretend we don’t know what Bananza is, or even what Conker’s N64 game would turn out to be, for that matter.

After wrapping up the SNES trilogy of DK games with Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble in late 1996, a team of Rare employees were put to work on a Donkey Kong game for the N64….allegedly it was intended to launch for the then new N64DD add-on but most likely it was an idea by producers that quickly died when the add-on sales were shown to be exactly as low as they were expecting, after years of delays to debut into a market where the Compact Disc was indeed becoming the new norm and making cartridges obsolete.

Curiously it wasn’t even intended as a full 3D platformer, but instead as 2.5D platformer more in line with the Country series , though this version spend 18 months in developments, was ultimately scrapped (if anything of that version survives to this day, it’s being held secret by either old Rare and-or Nintendo staff, there’s no images of it circulating at the time of posting,), a lot of people that worked on Banjo Kazooie were brought in, and the game was reworked into being a typical 3D collectathon platformer in the vein of BK and it’s sequel, Banjo Tooie.

There’s a bit more to the production history of Donkey Kong 64, but it was mostly Rare doing their thing as usual by then, there’s no major scandal, but i would be a fool not talk about about how Nintendo staff checked-in to see the game early on, leading to a terrified Shigeru Miyamoto seeing DK given a realistic double barreled shotgun (producing realistic gun sounds) as a weapon to shoot cartoon beavers with, only for him to quickly sketch up a less alarming, more child friendly and less problematic weaponry, adding leaf branches, a more wooden design, the now iconic “coconut gun”, which was immediatly implemented in the game.

All of this just because the realistic gun was a placeholder Rare absent mindedly left in.

For reference, this review is based on both my old playthrough of DK 64 on original N64 hardware and a fresh run of the version released via the N64 Classics app/service on Switch 2 (as all N64 games, it can run on the old Switch 1 consoles as well).

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Trevor McFur In The Crescent Galaxy JAGUAR [REVIEW] | Star Jags

Played via the Atari 50^th Anniversary Collection on PS4 and PS5, because – i’m just gonna make it clear now – i ain’t buying a frigging Jaguar to play this. I’m simply not gonna.

Frankly i wasn’t even aware of this ever being a thing until i was flipping through the Jaguar library on the Atari 50^th Anniversary Collection (you don’t need any of the DLC, as the Jaguar library – and by extension Trevor McFur is part of the base package and wasn’t expanded, not yet anyways), you’d think this would have been featured a bit more in retro reviews of the console itself, but it wasn’t, and i struggle to grasp that.

You’d think a game called Trevor McFur and with a cover art of a jaguar man embracing a jaguar woman with space in the background would be easier to bait people with, even if just out of curiosity, but i guess, as usual, i do have to do everything myself.

I mean, it’s really writing itself, given it was supposed to be a launch title for the console but instead that went to its “sister” title, Cybermorph, yeah, the “where did you learn how to fly?” one.

Also, yes, i was gonna make a Starfox Zero review, but i delayed, then thought if i really wanted to play Starfox Zero, i remembered the demo version i’ve played a decade ago…. so i figured, furry for furry, might as well do this one, that Starfox Zero review is gonna get delayed to when i can be fucked to, or for any new Starfox project that might emerge after the Switch 2 remake of SF 64/Lylat Wars.

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Platformation Time Again: The James Pond Collection GenAI Marketing Suicidefest

Never tought i would have to say it, but we have to talk about James Pond.

I guess since retro collections are in now, System 3 decided to resell its old series of Amiga borne platformers, the James Pond games, of which i played a bit of the second one, Operation Robocod, as a PS1 Classic release on the PS3, actually, with this collection including pretty much all versions of all 3 James Pond games, plus the sports spin-off The Aquabats.

They are rereleasing this also a physical release on Switch 2…. but even that being “exclusive” is most likely bullshit as a PEGI rating for a PS5 version has been spotted already.

Look, System 3 already were famous for being cheap since forever, heck remember when they put out on PS4 a SNES game they pretended was cancelled back in the day, for full price (and lied about upcoming free DLCs), with Putty Squad… which they also released basically on launch for the PS4.

These people wanted 40 bucks for Super Fruit Fall on the Wii during its launch, i do remember that, so it checks out, System 3 peddled crap like this for a living since forever, and given what i played of Operation Robocod, i can believe people commenting how this is kinda apt because the James Pond games were indeed trash even back then.

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Cyclone (1978) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I’ve been putting off this one for years because of one specific aspect: that they killed a real dog for it, as i’ve heard this repeated on as a truth, and honestly that alone made me push it down the priority list, which might sound weird since i’ve seen a decent amount of cannibal movies, and i have pet turtles, to boot, which made that scene really hit me hard the first time around.

And i wasn’t really gonna google how a cooked dog looked like, so yeah….

Well, turns out after a bit of research that they didn’t actually kill a dog, and in a way i should have known, since Cyclone (also known as Terror Storm) is from exploitation sleaze extraordinarie Rene Cardona Jr., and while he did actually kill real sharks for Tintorera (and also he did immediatly jump on making a film adaptation of the Jonestown Massacre, remember)… once i saw the movie it’s obviously not the case, and the supposed “skinned dog” it’s a chicken, they edit in a way to make it look “real”… but if you actually stop to look at the way it’s edited it’s obviously not real, and the blood is so obviously fake stage blood, plus he’s holding the blade against the dog on the dull part.

I wanna believe Rene Cardona Jr. couldn’t get away with killing one of man’s best friends.

Yeah, regardless, this one is not for dog lovers…. well, unless you consider them a culinary treat to buy at a certain festival in Yulin.

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Platformation Time Again: The Rayman Situation

Ubisoft is in so much in financial straits that it’s willing to remember they have this historic franchise that built their company back in the day, outside of licensing him so he can sniff coke and enjoy body sushi in a Netflix animated special.

I mean, good for him, but there’s no hiding the fact Ubisoft is making this to (also) try recoup some goodwill… which is obvious bullshit since i do remember when back in the 2010s they held the IP “hostage”, basically saying that if they wanted another 2D Rayman after Origins customers would have to prove their loyalty by buying the new Assassin Creed and their other shit.

Heck, they even did the same shtick for Beyond Good & Evil 2, which has been in development hell for years and at this point i’m sure fans would be pleased if they did just cancelled it instead of vaping up our asses, since i doubt modern Ubisoft is able to make a real follow up to BG&E without… well, “Ubisofting” it to oblivion.

But we’ll deal with that if they ever say anything substantial about it ever again, at the moment Ubisoft is doing some remasters, having launched earlier this year a collection of the many versions and ports of the original Rayman, and conferming the leaked reveal of a Rayman Legends remake…. as in, a graphical remake, meant to include all content that was previously exclusive to the Wii U and then the Switch rerelease.

I don’t necessarily think remaking the game to use 3D models when it’s still a 2D platformer made much sense, but on the other hand they also had the bright idea of including a rerelease of the previous modern 2D Rayman game, with Rayman Origins Enhanced Edition just included in the base release, not beholden to a special launch edition or one of their “deluxe” tiers, which i think it’s a very smart move on their part, as it justifies the price a bit more.

Still pissed off like pretty much all modern Ubisoft…. well, all modern console releasess, even physical copies will require to basically download the entire thing via internet, and i’m sure Origins will just be a voucher to redeem even on PS5.

Sure as hell i won’t be preordering since i still have Wii release of Origins and the original Wii U version of Legends (plus the Switch port), so in case i end up managing to prepare a PTA review on those, i’ll use those mostly for the time being, though there isn’t any review for the rubric coming soon that’s about the French limbless hero of yore.

I’ve considered doing one on the original Rayman but i just couldn’t fit it in the schedule before, and i definitely do not now, i would like to, but i’ve also got a book to write so it ain’t exactly high on my “to do list”. Sorry.

Hopefully Ubisoft can get around to rerelease Rayman 2 and 3, before they likely will kick the bucket-get absorbed by Vivendi or something, i would like at the very least, since i’m not really betting any money in them doing a new 2D or 3D Rayman game detatched from the fuckin “rabbit Minions”.

But then again, a new Spyro has been announced despite Activision-Blizzard, so maybe there is a brighter future awaiting the brainchild or Mr. Ancel, in spite of everything….

[EXPRESSO] Arion (1986) | Anime Titans

Yeah, i’m gonna bend the rules this time around since this is a 40^th anniversary restoration of a 1986 anime film that never got released here in theathers (or anywhere), just preceed by a recent release of the manga of the same name the film is based on, needed since i never even heard of this.

Somehow, as this isn’t some random anime film, this is written, directed and illustrated by Yoshikazu Yasuhito (also behind the original manga work), a legend known for his character designs on the original Mobile Suit Gundam anime, with orchestral soundtrack by composer Joe Hisashi of Ghibli fame.

Despite being named after a mythological black horse that – among other things – saved the king of Argos, thestory of Arion is basically a retelling of Greek mythology filtered through Japanese sensibilities (worth remembering Saint Seiya started just a year prior) that mashes the many myths and re-elaborates the various gods, demigods, humans and lore in a way that’s still kinda unique to this day, and fits the subject matter while standing on its own legs.

Arion is the demi-god spawn of Poseidon, kidnapped as a child by Hades and raised to believe his mother’s blindness was caused by Zeus and that killing him would cure her, so he sets on a quest only to eventually find out the truth and try to fight back against the fate as the Olympian gods willed it…

Honestly it’s amazing, it’s definitely not just stunning to look at with his meticulous hand drawn animation by Sunrise that still looks impressive, it also lives up to being an epic action-adventure, with lots of action, conflict, magic and brutality (plus very brief occasional whismy), superbly paced, that is still pretty dang impressive to see in cinemas even today.

Very good stuff.

Platformation Time Again # 9: Croc: Legend Of The Gobbos PS1 | PS4, PS5 | GBC

HISTORY

Given it’s quite well known how Croc came to be, i’m tempted to brashly summarize things, as most you already know this was originally a Yoshi game Argonaut Games (more famous for their collaborative work in the original Starfox/Starwing on SNES) proposed to Nintendo in 1994, only for it to be rejected, but instead they reworked the prototype (which was a mix of Mario Kart and Super Mario World called Yoshi’s Racing) into their own IP as 3D platformer, and since they cut direct ties with Nintendo after the original Star Fox 2 – which also had Argonaut involved in developmente – was cancelled, in 1996 they shopped around for publishers until settling with Fox Interactive, as they wanted to make a multimedia franchise out of it.

This is a very succint digest of the story… or is it?

Yes it is.

It said that since the Yoshi Racing prototype was presented in 1994, and it might have strongly influenced Nintendo with the “similar project” they had already in development, which would turn out to be – what else? – Super Mario 64….. but then again, this was said by Argonauts Games founder, Jez San, in 2013 Eurogamer interview, while in a 1997 interview he more cautiously – and correctly – said the similarity between the two games might have been completely coincidental.

Even more so since – as just pointed – Nintendo already had SM64 in development and it’s not like they were many example of 3D platformers before 1996, aside from the original Jumping Flash, which is still peculiar since it’s also a first person 3D platformer, and no, Beam Software’s Bug! was more of a 2.5D affair than a proper 3D platformer.

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