Cyclone (1978) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I’ve been putting off this one for years because of one specific aspect: that they killed a real dog for it, as i’ve heard this repeated on as a truth, and honestly that alone made me push it down the priority list, which might sound weird since i’ve seen a decent amount of cannibal movies, and i have pet turtles, to boot, which made that scene really hit me hard the first time around.

And i wasn’t really gonna google how a cooked dog looked like, so yeah….

Well, turns out after a bit of research that they didn’t actually kill a dog, and in a way i should have known, since Cyclone (also known as Terror Storm) is from exploitation sleaze extraordinarie Rene Cardona Jr., and while he did actually kill real sharks for Tintorera (and also he did immediatly jump on making a film adaptation of the Jonestown Massacre, remember)… once i saw the movie it’s obviously not the case, and the supposed “skinned dog” it’s a chicken, they edit in a way to make it look “real”… but if you actually stop to look at the way it’s edited it’s obviously not real, and the blood is so obviously fake stage blood, plus he’s holding the blade against the dog on the dull part.

I wanna believe Rene Cardona Jr. couldn’t get away with killing one of man’s best friends.

Yeah, regardless, this one is not for dog lovers…. well, unless you consider them a culinary treat to buy at a certain festival in Yulin.

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Platformation Time Again: The Rayman Situation

Ubisoft is in so much in financial straits that it’s willing to remember they have this historic franchise that built their company back in the day, outside of licensing him so he can sniff coke and enjoy body sushi in a Netflix animated special.

I mean, good for him, but there’s no hiding the fact Ubisoft is making this to (also) try recoup some goodwill… which is obvious bullshit since i do remember when back in the 2010s they held the IP “hostage”, basically saying that if they wanted another 2D Rayman after Origins customers would have to prove their loyalty by buying the new Assassin Creed and their other shit.

Heck, they even did the same shtick for Beyond Good & Evil 2, which has been in development hell for years and at this point i’m sure fans would be pleased if they did just cancelled it instead of vaping up our asses, since i doubt modern Ubisoft is able to make a real follow up to BG&E without… well, “Ubisofting” it to oblivion.

But we’ll deal with that if they ever say anything substantial about it ever again, at the moment Ubisoft is doing some remasters, having launched earlier this year a collection of the many versions and ports of the original Rayman, and conferming the leaked reveal of a Rayman Legends remake…. as in, a graphical remake, meant to include all content that was previously exclusive to the Wii U and then the Switch rerelease.

I don’t necessarily think remaking the game to use 3D models when it’s still a 2D platformer made much sense, but on the other hand they also had the bright idea of including a rerelease of the previous modern 2D Rayman game, with Rayman Origins Enhanced Edition just included in the base release, not beholden to a special launch edition or one of their “deluxe” tiers, which i think it’s a very smart move on their part, as it justifies the price a bit more.

Still pissed off like pretty much all modern Ubisoft…. well, all modern console releasess, even physical copies will require to basically download the entire thing via internet, and i’m sure Origins will just be a voucher to redeem even on PS5.

Sure as hell i won’t be preordering since i still have Wii release of Origins and the original Wii U version of Legends (plus the Switch port), so in case i end up managing to prepare a PTA review on those, i’ll use those mostly for the time being, though there isn’t any review for the rubric coming soon that’s about the French limbless hero of yore.

I’ve considered doing one on the original Rayman but i just couldn’t fit it in the schedule before, and i definitely do not now, i would like to, but i’ve also got a book to write so it ain’t exactly high on my “to do list”. Sorry.

Hopefully Ubisoft can get around to rerelease Rayman 2 and 3, before they likely will kick the bucket-get absorbed by Vivendi or something, i would like at the very least, since i’m not really betting any money in them doing a new 2D or 3D Rayman game detatched from the fuckin “rabbit Minions”.

But then again, a new Spyro has been announced despite Activision-Blizzard, so maybe there is a brighter future awaiting the brainchild or Mr. Ancel, in spite of everything….

[EXPRESSO] Arion (1986) | Anime Titans

Yeah, i’m gonna bend the rules this time around since this is a 40^th anniversary restoration of a 1986 anime film that never got released here in theathers (or anywhere), just preceed by a recent release of the manga of the same name the film is based on, needed since i never even heard of this.

Somehow, as this isn’t some random anime film, this is written, directed and illustrated by Yoshikazu Yasuhito (also behind the original manga work), a legend known for his character designs on the original Mobile Suit Gundam anime, with orchestral soundtrack by composer Joe Hisashi of Ghibli fame.

Despite being named after a mythological black horse that – among other things – saved the king of Argos, thestory of Arion is basically a retelling of Greek mythology filtered through Japanese sensibilities (worth remembering Saint Seiya started just a year prior) that mashes the many myths and re-elaborates the various gods, demigods, humans and lore in a way that’s still kinda unique to this day, and fits the subject matter while standing on its own legs.

Arion is the demi-god spawn of Poseidon, kidnapped as a child by Hades and raised to believe his mother’s blindness was caused by Zeus and that killing him would cure her, so he sets on a quest only to eventually find out the truth and try to fight back against the fate as the Olympian gods willed it…

Honestly it’s amazing, it’s definitely not just stunning to look at with his meticulous hand drawn animation by Sunrise that still looks impressive, it also lives up to being an epic action-adventure, with lots of action, conflict, magic and brutality (plus very brief occasional whismy), superbly paced, that is still pretty dang impressive to see in cinemas even today.

Very good stuff.

Platformation Time Again # 9: Croc: Legend Of The Gobbos PS1 | PS4, PS5 | GBC

HISTORY

Given it’s quite well known how Croc came to be, i’m tempted to brashly summarize things, as most you already know this was originally a Yoshi game Argonaut Games (more famous for their collaborative work in the original Starfox/Starwing on SNES) proposed to Nintendo in 1994, only for it to be rejected, but instead they reworked the prototype (which was a mix of Mario Kart and Super Mario World called Yoshi’s Racing) into their own IP as 3D platformer, and since they cut direct ties with Nintendo after the original Star Fox 2 – which also had Argonaut involved in developmente – was cancelled, in 1996 they shopped around for publishers until settling with Fox Interactive, as they wanted to make a multimedia franchise out of it.

This is a very succint digest of the story… or is it?

Yes it is.

It said that since the Yoshi Racing prototype was presented in 1994, and it might have strongly influenced Nintendo with the “similar project” they had already in development, which would turn out to be – what else? – Super Mario 64….. but then again, this was said by Argonauts Games founder, Jez San, in 2013 Eurogamer interview, while in a 1997 interview he more cautiously – and correctly – said the similarity between the two games might have been completely coincidental.

Even more so since – as just pointed – Nintendo already had SM64 in development and it’s not like they were many example of 3D platformers before 1996, aside from the original Jumping Flash, which is still peculiar since it’s also a first person 3D platformer, and no, Beam Software’s Bug! was more of a 2.5D affair than a proper 3D platformer.

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Batwoman: L’Invincibile Superdonna/La Mujer Murcielago AKA The Batwoman (1968) [REVIEW] | The Spy Who Lucha’d Me

While i could have waited to spring this one on you when The Batman Part 2 finally releases…. that date is still far away, but the Supergirl live action film is not, so why not, and there’s still shit like Batman Da Il Pianeta Eros or Batpussy i could review for the occasion.

I’ve been recently studying up on ye old lucha libre mexican cinema, whom some of you might have been exposed via the few localized american version of El Santo movies, which called him “Samson” since El Santo as a figure wasn’t really know in America… nor is it now, but him and many other masked luchadores were also starring in their own film as themselves.

Some of you might remember stuff like the MST3K fan favourite Samson VS The Vampire Vomen, or the adjacent “luchador free” old The Robot VS The Aztec Mummy, but let’s just say these are just the tip of the sweaty beef iceberg, as there are dozens, hundreds of these films made in Mexico, most about El Santo but other luchadores like Tinieblas, Mil Mascaras or Blue Demon had their own film series, which often mixed spy film, gothic horror, mad scientist and monsters and of course had crossover, with some like El Santo and Blue Demon now teaming up to undo a sinister scheme of world conquest or strange murders ordained by some comic book styled mad doctor.

These were basically superhero series of their own right, just that the hero existed inside and outside of the ring, and his masked identity was kept as such, so, in the same way we call Dwayne Johson by his nickname regardless of what movie he is or what character he is playing, these movie do star El Santo or Black Shadow in the credits, they are playing a character alright, but they’re still rocking the luchador persona as the main one, as you would due to lucha libre tradition in this regard.

Due to some cultural sensibilities in common, we in Italy did get a few more localized films of this genre, but this one today is a bit of a “cheat”, in the sense it was an Italian-Mexican co-production starring Maura Monti, an Italian-Mexican actress and model that was in many Mexican films in the 60s, aside from this one, even if this the one she’s more recognized from, alongside 1966’s neo noir thriller Rage, where she acted alonsgide Glenn Ford.

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[EXPRESSO] Milky Subway: The Galactic Limited Express Subway – The Movie (2026) | Cyborg Deliquents Of Gold

It warms my heart to see how the author of the astondishingly excellent 2022 ONA Milky Highway has now a movie streaming on Netflix, Milky Subway: The Galactic Express Gateway… which is actually a film recut-compilation, i somehow missed (or fogot) that Yohei Kamiyama made a sequel series, Milky Subway, that aired on Youtube and television.

I really don’t know how i could have missed that, but i’m making amends now by reviewing this recut that compiles the 12 short episodes into a 47 minute film, that also introduces a couple new side characters (at least so sayeth the articles and the Wikipedia page).

The premises follow Makina and Chiharu, arrested for the events of Milky Highway, and now joined by four other young delinquents, all sentenced to do community service by cleaning an old rundown space express train, but when they all set foot on the vehicle, it goes off by itself, so the group has to collaborate in order to find a way to stop the train, and along the way deal with other weird malfunctions….

It’s a compact story that actually has enough going on, and it uses the time to develop not only the returning duo from Milky Highway, but also the new deliquent youths, making for some really good charaterization and dynamics, also due to the dialogue going for a more realistic style than most anime.

THAT aside, the retro scifi aesthetic is perfect, the character designs are amazing, animation is beyond impressive, it’s unbelievable how this is a self produced work (manned by a VERY young author, too) that in less than a hour puts stuff from experienced studios to shame.

I really wanna see more of these characters, of this world, so give the series and this compilation film some love, will ya?

Mario & Wario SFC [REVIEW] | Bucket Mario Mouse Adventure

One of the Mario titles that have been long since been an exclusive to the Super Famicom (the Japanese version of the Super Nintendo), but last October it was rereleased officially, in this case as part of the Super Nintendo Classics app/service on Switch and Switch 2.

It’s has been a long sought after title that it would be logical to assume might have gotten a rerelease on Switch 2, since it has a mouse-style control set up for the Joycons, and it wouldn’t have required much fnagling as the game was already full translated in English in its original SFC release, kinda surprising it didn’t actually get a NA or PAL release, despite there having been plans at the time.

I guess besides Mario Paint there wasn’t much interest in games that used the SNES mouse peripheral, but regardless, you can now play it on Switch 2 or even Switch 1, for the latter you will need to connect an USB mouse… which is how i played it, with the old Switch 1 docked and with a cheap random USB mouse anyway, at first anyway.

I tried that but i guess my USB mouse was too shit, since i later tried the mouse mode on a Switch 2 joycon (both in docked and handheld mode), and that was actually WAY better, like usual an actual proper modern mouse, even with the game mouse speed set to low, so i stuck to that for the rest of my experience.

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Platformation Time Again: Summer Dong Expandion Pak

Enough foreplay, i guess.

Or actually, a teensy bitsy more, because Nintendo did release about everything DK related on their Classic catalogues/apps leading to Bananza’s release, but despite being announced as coming to Switch eventually alongside other N64 titles, the now infamous N64 adventure of the Nintendo primate was missing.

It will arrive on the N64 Nintendo Classics app (which requires the Expansion Pak tier of Nintendo’s online paid subscription) on June 3/4 (June 3 in the US, June 4 in Europe and Japan), so in a week’s time.

I was “Sun Tzu-ing” this occasion for a DK 64 review, i have the game on original hardware, bought years ago before the WIIU Virtual Console rerelease was a thing, i have finished it, and i have been itching to make a big ass PTA review/piece on it, and i do look forward to have a new fresh run and hopefully a better understanding of the game.

BUT since i have already all the schedule set and completed for June and July, and August being very short due to the usual summer break, i have elected to instead move the full lenght Platformation Time Again piece to September.

If Nintendo waited till now to release it, i really don’t feel bad in post-poning my article, i mean, the game came out in 1999, almost 30 years ago, at this point a couple of months won’t age Chunky Kong any further.

Not that you could corrobate that since he’s been M.I.A. since (or worse).

Jokes aside, i’m curious to see fresh reactions and opinions on its design, given it has become a very divisive game over the decades, in terms of platform games anyway.

Platformation Time Again #8: Yoshi’s Story N64

HISTORY

While nowadays the Yoshi Island subseries has mixed reception, the original sequel to Super Mario World was indeed (and still is) a classic, peculiar spin-off of the Mario formula, and Yoshi Story was the first follow up/sequel of sort to reiterate on the formula, developed by pretty much all the original team for the original Yoshi’s Island, minus Shigeru Miyamoto, here just supervisor instead of producer or director, that here being Hideki Konno, whose portfolio already included the original Yoshi’s Island and Super Mario Kart.

This one doesn’t have much in terms of production history or weird tidbits about its inception.

It was originally just called Yoshi Island 64 and meant for the ill-fated Japan only N64DD peripheral, the game – like many others – was moved from the floppy drive format to cartridge, and when revealed it was meant to also “flex” the 3D capabilities of the N64 alongside its 2D craft, which was peculiar of a stance to take when 3D was the new fangled tech and the industry was more than happy to join on the bandwagon of immediatly shaming the previous tech as obsolete junk in favour of “the future”, regardless the fact that in this case 3D turned out to be the future.

Also yes, you might remember this one in how Nintendo made the soundtrack available on a CD shaped like Yoshi’s face, similar to the one for Diddy Kong Racing.

While i possess a copy of its Virtual Console rerelease back on the Wii, i have used the version included in the N64 Nintendo Classics catalogue for Switch and Switch 2 (which requires to also have the Expansion Pak tier subscription), and yes, it was also available on the chinese N64-based IQue Player.

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Super Mario Adventures [MANGA REVIEW] | Peach Power

Since i’ve run out of older Mario films to review, time to look at some of the manga about the plumbering bros and its magical mushroom world of pipes and princesses.

At least one of the mangas, as we’ll do Super Mario-Kun some other times.

Thankfully italian publisher JPOP did collect all of the more known Mario manga series, simply called Super Mario Adventures, all in one volume, at least for the italian release, the american one is handled by VIZ Media, so you’ll have to check availability for your region or whatever.

Story is by Kentaro Takekuma, mostly known for this and Even A Monkey Can Draw Manga/Saruman series that parodies instructional works about making manga and the industry as well, and received itself a sequel series, Saruman 2.0, back in 2007.

Art is by Charlie Nozawa, whom surprisingly isn’t credited to anything else… at least under that name, a pseudonym for Tamakichi Sakura, whom worked as a character designer for some old Enix games like Dungeon Land and other titles like Pikiinia!, the Sansara Naga series and Tower Dream, all that never left Japan, but he also has other works as a manga artist, as he’s behind Shiawase No Kaitachi (Figures Of Happiness) and Oyaji No Wakusei (Planet Of The Father).

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