[EXPRESSO] Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma (2026) | QueerAngela

Freshly released in theathers here, Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma is a classic slasher for the ages… as in, this age, the modern age.

Kris is a queer horror director known for a Psycho remake from the prospective of the shower curtains, that has been tasked with directing the reboot of 80s cult slasher series Camp Miasma (a sort of Friday The 13th crossed with Sleepaway Camp entity), as she is a notorious superfan, but she struggles under the pressure of her own ambition to do something fresh with it, and especially because of the studio push-back to have actress that played thef inal girl in the original film, Billy Presley, come back.

Kris is adamant about it, and decides to meet up nonetheless with Billy, whom has been pretty much living as a recluse in the same place where the first Camp Miasma film was shot….

Yes, it’s indeed a meta-horror that works both as tribute and satire of the 80s slasher, it’s significance today, how the sexual themes reflected anxieties of the era and how this applies in an age where sexuality is very different, especially from a queer prospective, but while it delivers a lot of kills, gore and hilariously excessive geysers of bloods, and it’s more heavy on comedy that you’d expect.

And while it does have an unique “meta twist” that isn’t quite what you’d expect, it’s also fairly straighforward – and deliberately unsubtle- in tackling the genre as a way of sexual self-discovery and emancipation, sold thanks to the amazing performances of Gillian Anderson and Hannah Heinbinder.

Though at times the pacing could be better, and frankly i would have preferred if it ended a scene earlier than it does, but still, Teenage, Sex And Death At Camp Miasma is quite good.

Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I make no secret that i veheemently hate Shark Exorcist, i’ve always hated it well before i re-reviewed it for the blog “shark month”, and while i’m not making a “Worst 10 Shark Films” listicle because there’s always something worse i haven’t seen or that just released that would make that obsolete very fast, if i did, i would put Shark Exorcist as the reigning champion of shit.

Not that Donald Farmer was ever a good director, he always made trashy B to Z movies, but this one i believe was maliciously made extra bad by design, but then again having 40 years of experience in trash cinema doesn’t guarantee you’ll retain any know-how, or care to even put on a semblance of any competence you’ve gathered, as it was frankly barely indistiguishable from crap like Jurassic Shark, made obviously by a bunch of kids with a camera and zero experience.

Again, it took some nega-effort to make Mark Polonia look like Spielberg in comparison, but Shark Exorcist was indeed something special, not your everyday homegrown Z-grade shark trash.

So when i learned last year Donald put out a sequel, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters back in 2024, 10 years after the first one…. i knew i had to cover it, and i’m not gonna let it fester too much in my mind this time, we’re doing this now so we can move on.

Here i’d discuss the plot but we already did the bit on the review of the first Shark Exorcist, which had a premise, an idea of a plot, not really an actual plot besides the first 5 minutes, or any actual structure, just random padding, “plot lines” that go nowhere, even calling it a “narrative gibberish” it’s too kind in hindsight, since it honestly doesn’t even have an ending or a proper resolution…. it just kinda stops, and reaches a runtime of 74 minutes just because of random post-credit padding.

Continua a leggere “Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist”

[EXPRESSO] The End Of Oak Street (2026) | Amblin’s Dynostopia

When i first saw in theathers the trailer for The End Of Oak Street showcasing dinosaurs i was sold, even more as it is from director-screenwriter-producer David Robert Mitchell (It Follows, Under The Silver Lake).

So someone knew how to market the film, clearly not who decided, a week before release, to release a promo on social media with talking dogs (not even dinosaurs) doing a podcast, made with generative IA to promote the film… to whom i don’t know, because even the less online, average person will see that and just go see something else.

Congrats to somehow managing being clowned on by the marketing team for fuckin Paw Patrol The Dino Movie, when you have to sell people on a 80s themed scifi mystery where Anne Hathaway knives dinosaurs to defend her family.

The End Of Oak Street is indeed about this family living in a 80s suburban community, which one day wakes up to see their entire block now surrounded by prehistoric vegetation and overrun by dinosaurs, as if displaced by some cosmic anomaly, with them now trying to bend together and survive in this new reality….

On one hand, it’s another movie taking place in the 80s, and unsubtly grabbing unto an Amblin-style nostalgia for the era, and you might feel disappointed if you expected it to hold some crazy twist that turned this into more bonkers territory (or a different ending).

On the other hand, it is a FAR better dinosaur movie than all the Jurassic World films combined, there’s a lot of prehistoric creatures being represented, the family drama is actually as solid as the survival itself, you do care about these characters, and it exactly as long as it needs, not bothering to give overly long explanations that will never satisfy anyone anyway.

[EXPRESSO] Hokum (2026) | Banshee Burner

Review confession time: i’m not familiar at all with Damian McCarthy as a director or otherwise, but i also didn’t do much research and i just trusted the very good general reception.

I’m glad i did, but let’s not skip steps.

Hokum is about Ohm, an american writer struggling to write the epilogue of his successful Conquistador book trilogy, that goes to Ireland in a hotel where his parents had their honeymoon, moved by the appeareance of the ghost of his mother, and there to lay to rest their ashes.

He decides to pass the night in the hotel in order to see if he could push past his writer’s block, while mostly being abrahasive and dismissive of the hotel staff (especially the old irish folklore about witches a local old man tells to some children) while also getting plastered, and things turn for the worse when he wakes up again, alive just because one of the staff found him hanging from his room ceiling in time…

It’s definitely a slow burner that does take its time, but with elegance, a great atmosphere, without really using jumpscares, but some really unsettling creepy apparations (the rabbit one is indeed some really creepy shit), and surprisingly this time around isn’t so much about a monster or old folklore repurposed to rappresent grief (though that obviously play a part), but an actual proper supernatural tales of horror and mystery old as the hills, that manages to actually have a compelling narrative that does play on multiple angles but also avoids having a twist that undoes or invalidates previous key scenes, the kind often done to play with expectations, just in order to win the guessing war with the audiences, regardless if it makes for a better movie or not.

Pretty good stuff, recommended.

August Augurs, the Fall-Winter schedule and changes in 2027

As a reminder, the blog will go on the usual break on the 16th, and it will resume full activity on September 1st.

As for the remaining august days, all the planned full lenght reviews, though in terms of One Piece content, only the review of Season 2 of the live action Netflix adaptation of One Piece will release as planned, sadly the one for Gigant Battle won’t be ready in time, and i’ve decided not to rush it.

EXPRESSO reviews for Hokum and Spider Man: Brand New Day will arrive soon enough on the blog.

The main big change i wanna announce is, after deliberation (and also because i’m between jobs now) i’ve decided to dedicate myself more about writing down a book about giant monster cinema (and maybe move into video content stuff) in the coming future, so next year the schedule will be more or less done on a “when and if i can” basis, i’ll still make some sort of plan but basically i will allow myself to wing it or scrap things.

This won’t affect much or at all the schedule for September and up to Dicember-early January, as most of the work has already been done or is already on its way to be completed, or already “set in stone” either way.

I’ll still work on the blog and keep updating it, and this doesn’t mean i will sunset older rubric, mainstays like Giant Monster March, The Spooktacular Eight, Musou/Melee May will remain and so on, EXPRESSO either.

Also, i’m gonna address it here before i forget: while i doubt we’ll even see it here in theathers before October (if at all), i won’t be covering Eli Roth’s Ice Cream Man remake in any form, as he’s been using GenAI shit in it, and not for minute details either, plus i learned in the fallout that he’s even more of a piece of shit i’ve though/remembered, and it’s not like we’re gonna miss much anyway, given his track record of “quality” (Thanksgiving was quite fun, admittedly) and the movie reviewing poorly even ignoring Eli Roth himself and the GenAI sequences…. we ain’t gonna miss out on anything of value, let’s be real, i’m surprised he still pretends to be relevant.

[EXPRESSO] Deep Water (2026) | Shark Ditching

Renny Harlin, better known as the director of the original Deep Blue Sea, Cliffhanger and Cutthroat Island, having finished early this year the new awful Strangers trilogy nobody asked for, he’s back doing what he’s best known for: sharks.

Actually, that’s kinda unfair, as Deep Water is mostly a survival film about an international flight that crashlands somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, with the surviving passenger and crew members forced to find a way to survive and escape the deadly debris of the torn plane, while also avoid being picked off by a group of shark cycling around them.

Mind you, i’m glad there are sharks in the film, frankly i would have been surprised if they weren’t, because this is such a deliberate throwback to late 90s disaster-survival films and horror b-movies of this ilk, with just a veneer of realism to avoid it killing any tension.

Do not let the fact some of the characters we’re presented before or on the plane include esports squads, grandmas saying “you’re a 5 out of 10” impropted to people, ipad kids, the attitude and cliches are done in such a retro fashion, from the characters being either rude assholes or saints, with an expecially assholish one that you know has a “shark food soon enough” label, and which you indeed look forward to see its inevitable fate come to pass, the kid character being clever yet tempting death at least twice, the heroic sacrifice by the consumate character actor that is arguably on autopilot, etc.

Deep Water is essentially a 90s styled disaster-survival-shark film, and its retro nature it’s both charming but also obviously dated…. yet in this case i think it comes off as a decent genre thrill ride of yore, and better because it’s confident in what it is.

The Mouse Trap (2024) [REVIEW] | Unhappy Mappy

I swore this off when it came out, even more since i did end up covering all the 3 fucking Popeye slashers that came out last year, but we’re getting at least one more of those, and apparently more of “Steamboat Willie as a horror movie” as a sequel for this was greenlit very soon (one month) after this one dropped in August 2024.

Plus this showed up today on my Amazon Prime Video feed, and since i’ve basically done the same with the Winnie The Pooh horror films, i guess it was indeed inevitable, so consider it a bonus review to excuse the Global Defence Force Tactics retrospective piece getting bumped to August.

I’ve already said a lot of what i thought about these kind of productions in my reviews of both the aforementioned Winnie The Pooh Blood And Honey films and the various Popeye slashers, but in case you weren’t aware, this is actually “patient zero” for this new trend among the bottom feeders of the indie horror scene, as in, waiting for a specific work’s copyright to expire and as soon as possible jump on its new public domain status to do a quickie cashgrab in the form of a cheap low budget slasher flick; the virus might mutate but so far this is the route chosen, as it’s easy, obvious and so brazenly shameless it will put eyes on your piece of shit.

More specifically, this exists because the famous Disney short featuring Mickey Mouse, Steamboat Willie, fell into the public domain on January 1, 2024, just that, meaning THAT Mickey Mouse’s appearance was “fair game”, not the other interpretations/designs/incarnations that followed, as Disney owns the copyright to those.

And Canadian filmmakers Jamie Bailey and Simon Philipps were eager to cash that “mouse money”, as they announced the film (as Mickey Mouse’s Trap, as if they ever expected that title to actually pass legit) on the very same day Steamboat Willie’s became public domain material.

More unbelievable was that this was supposed to get a theathrical release… it didn’t.

Continua a leggere “The Mouse Trap (2024) [REVIEW] | Unhappy Mappy”

[EXPRESSO] Evil Dead Burn (2026) | Cthuga Chant

In other circumstances, i would lament the fact that an old franchise like Evil Dead or its name are being used for making new films unrelated to the old ones…. but in this day and age, this approach works, it doesn’t lock viewers into expanded universes continuites, and while it is a sequel to Evil Dead Rise, it doesn’t really depend on you having watched that, to the point this could be another stand alone sequel or reboot, and yet it would have fit being called Evil Dead.

Evil Dead Burn is about a young woman who has lost her husband, and after the funeral is meeting with her in-laws in a secluded house in the woods. The family reunion starts off glacial and tense at best, but goes quick south as the family members gradually start turning into Deadites….

The movie doesn’t reinvent Evil Dead as a formula, it has the nasty ass Deadites demons-undead fucks, the Necronomicon is involved too, there are chainsaws that you know will be used for lots of gore, and like Rise it involves family, though in this case it does so to tackle domestic abuse, familial dysfunctions and guilt-tripping…. and deliver a fuckton of very very nasty, over the top gore, with a bit of comedy to the delirium, not pulling any punches in any aspect.

Again, this movie isn’t trying to buck the “Evil Dead formula”, but it manages to give this Evil Dead film a slightly different feel, while balancing very well its elements, so gore never lacks its grisly punch, the comedic bits aren’t too clownish to undermine the nastiness of the violence or gore, we have likeable characters and yet never feel like we’re wasting time, as it’s all a costantly entertaining, retentless, fun, bloody damn good horror romp.

A Murcielago anime in this economy, Steel Ball Run actual release schedule, the new GITS anime, Tanya Degurechaff is back, AOT 3 and the Mini Summer Of EDF delay

So, Murcielago is a manga about a super serial killer woman with 715 homicides to her name, Komori (she the titular “bat”, since “murcielago” means exactly that, but in Spanish) gets her death penalty halted due to the city being overrun with crime, and Komori gets into assisting the Japanese police in tackling other murderers and criminals that the regular police force fails to catch, helped by the expert driver Hinako and the daughter of a yakuza boss

Komori is also a super lesbian and she basically tries to get into the pants of the many extrabosomed female characters, and even without her there’s a lot of nudity just shy of scissoring because i don’t think you could get away with that on Shonen Gangan. not quite.

It’s delectable action yuri exploitation trash, i love it, i’ve been following and buying the volumes for the past years, but given there’s so much premarital selbian gex and hyperviolence, i never really expected it to get an anime adaptation, heck, it’s ridiculous how much difficult is to see new horror anime exist, which is why i’m not really expecting a Franken Fran adaptation or something.

Yet, a few days ago a teaser trailer for the Murcièlago anime just popped up, and yes, my birthday was earlier this year, but whatever, it may be on time for that since is slated for a generic “2027 release” and i guess will stream on HIDIVE in US territories, we don’t have that here..

Continua a leggere “A Murcielago anime in this economy, Steel Ball Run actual release schedule, the new GITS anime, Tanya Degurechaff is back, AOT 3 and the Mini Summer Of EDF delay”

Cyclone (1978) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I’ve been putting off this one for years because of one specific aspect: that they killed a real dog for it, as i’ve heard this repeated on as a truth, and honestly that alone made me push it down the priority list, which might sound weird since i’ve seen a decent amount of cannibal movies, and i have pet turtles, to boot, which made that scene really hit me hard the first time around.

And i wasn’t really gonna google how a cooked dog looked like, so yeah….

Well, turns out after a bit of research that they didn’t actually kill a dog, and in a way i should have known, since Cyclone (also known as Terror Storm) is from exploitation sleaze extraordinarie Rene Cardona Jr., and while he did actually kill real sharks for Tintorera (and also he did immediatly jump on making a film adaptation of the Jonestown Massacre, remember)… once i saw the movie it’s obviously not the case, and the supposed “skinned dog” it’s a chicken, they edit in a way to make it look “real”… but if you actually stop to look at the way it’s edited it’s obviously not real, and the blood is so obviously fake stage blood, plus he’s holding the blade against the dog on the dull part.

I wanna believe Rene Cardona Jr. couldn’t get away with killing one of man’s best friends.

Yeah, regardless, this one is not for dog lovers…. well, unless you consider them a culinary treat to buy at a certain festival in Yulin.

Continua a leggere “Cyclone (1978) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist”