[EXPRESSO] Wildwood (2026) | The Cracked Brass Bells Will Ring

I was more than ready to see Laika newest film, i wanted to since the trailer was out, i was gonna support them anyway as they’re one of the very few good things to come out of nepo babies using decadent amounts of money for the actual arts, keeping stop motion animation alive still, even if we already know these movies are never making back the budget.

But frankly i was honestly surprised by Wildwood, like, damn, even putting aside how this one has been in development for 15 years and it shows, it’s absolutely stunning to look at.

Set in Portland, the plot sees a 13yo girl, Prue, left to attend his baby brother Mac at home, but she doesn’t listen, brings him alongside in a cart, meets her nerdy classmate Curtis, and has her brother snatched by a pack of crows, so the two chase to the mist shrouded Forbidden Forest where she got told to never ever go, found a mysterious way in, entering a world full of magic, talking animals and factions that were on the verge of war, getting caught up in this against her will.

It’s remarkable not only how this looks even better and is pure delight for eye of the stop motion aficionados (even by Laika’s own high standards), but how the apparently generic “fantasy forest fable” theming is used to develop an interesting world, with the everything from infantry wolves, talking owls, barbarians and the main antagonist, the forest witch, which is an excellent tragic villain, matched by some really likeable and well rounded protagonists and secondary characters alike.

There’s no dead air, all the way through its + 2 hours runtime, it’s also surprisingly funny, witty and willing to be “brutal”, avoiding easy kids films’ cop-outs.

PLEASE, just go see it.

The Spooktacular Eight #37: Leptirica (1973)

I’d say we digged a bit deeper than usual this time around, unless you daily dine your eyes on hyper-obscure 70s Yugoslavian vampire films….which you don’t.

Then again most likely you couldn’t, because outside of the Balkans, this movie had been literally uknown for years, and would have still been if it wasn’t for the internet, because if it wasn’t for some people finding, subtitling and sharing it around since 2012, i won’t be even here able to be talking about such an obscure piece of media never meant to leave its country of origin.

Always something peculiar when the movie was made under a nation that doesn’t exist anymore, and when i can claim to actually review a “serbian film”.

Loosely based on a 1880 story called “After Ninety Years” by Milovan Glisic, Leptirica‘s story revolves around the 19th century Serbian village of “Zaroshje” that is plagued by the vampire “Sava Savanovic” who has been systematically killing anyone who takes charge of the flour mill (situated in the woods outside the village). After four millers have been killed the council elders become desperate as food is rapidly running out and the community can’t really survive without the mill.

Meanwhile on the other side of the village a poor young man, Strahinja, is in love with Radojka, the daughter of the local landowner Zivan. After asking Zivan for his daughters hand in marriage and been refused on the grounds of his poverty, Strahinja decides to leave the village, but on the way he is met by members of the village council, who persuade him to take the job of the village miller.

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[EXPRESSO] Primetime (2026) | Pederast Ratings

I’ll be honest, the most i know about To Catch A Predator is just having heard about the program and its controversy back then, and having seen it parodied many times (even on Robot Chicken and fuckin Squidbillies) while never watching the actual show.

Keep this in mind.

Then again, this is sold as more or less fictionalized retelling of how in 2006 journalist Chris Hansen devised a new format, To Catch A Predator, where he both fed into the newfound hunger for “reality tv” by the population, and mounted essentially a sting operation, as he and his team (via hidden cameras, actors and computer experts) lure out sexual predators into a trap scenario, with Chris onfronting the “predator” inside while the police is on the ready outside.

The hypersensationalistic format proves popular enough that NBC moves the program to the “primetime” slot, making it compete in popularity with frigging ABC’s Lost, and so Hansen gets more and more incensed to keep the ball rolling, to try and keep interest in the format and rating alive and well, to continue his moral crusade and escalate it further and further…

Pattinson is playing a hyper narcistic sleazy human monster, in a way not too different from Jake Gyllenhall’s reporter character in Nightcrawler, and the movie focuses also heavily on a young actor that gets hired to play one of the “bait teens”, confronting the many, MANY questionable aspects of the format, etc.

It’s not too original, it’s another tale of how power corrupts, how the media machine feed into the voyeurism of “reality tv”, exploititing sensitive issues for the sake of summary mob justice, though it doesn’t hit too hard in the days of the Epstein list (plus the ending could have been better), but its still good, pretty solid stuff.

[EXPRESSO] Whalefall (2026) | Of Monstro And Men

Figures the best movie i see all week is the one that might sound like an Asylum turducken proposal, since it was marketed heavily on the premise of a guy scuba diving that not only sees a giant squid, but accidentally gets swalloved by a sperm whale that was hunting and already gobbled said squid, and is forced to try survive the inexpected Pinocchio style innerwhale exploration.

Sure you can word it to sound stupid and outrageous, but even without the squid it’s already a terrifying and novel premise for an underwater survival thriller, you really can’t get much more claustrophobic than the insides of a living creature, and the many moments of body horror it brings.

Yeah, there’s not too much to premise itself, that is gist, with the protagonist having just 1 hour of oxygen left to escape, but already the context makes it clear the themes underlining the spectacle of the survival itself, since the scuba diver, Jay, decides to go under in spite of everything else because he hopes to find the body of his estranged father, whom afflicted by cancer, decided to drown himself.

He wants to get closure due to the troubled relantionship he had with him even before the cancer, but in these moments of desperation, Jay recalls the many lessons his very stern father taught him (often teaching him the importance of the ocean and its creature), confronting his repressed feelings and coming to also understand – a bit more – why he was like that.

Not wholly original but its very effective, as the emotional core of the film sustains the intense, gripping and often disgusting survival, the few main characters are pretty well defined (and very well acted by Abrams and Brolin) and i feel is as long as needed.

[EXPRESSO] Onslaught (2026) | Die Dudermensch

On paper, this should be an easy win, even if it’s a bit weird A24 is distributing what is really a genre offering reminescent of 80s exploitation grindhouse action flicks like The Exterminator.

Onslaught is about Celeste, an US army sniper, whom has defacto retired into a parking lot in the New Mexico desert to deal with her PTSD, complicating her troubled family life.

That is, until a trio of genetically engineered super soldiers, created by a former Nazi scientist, escape from the secret experiment bases they were held in, killing everyone in their path, and eventually moving their systematic massacre to Celeste’s parking lot..

Apparently this is a continuation from Adam Wingard’s 2014 movie Guest, which i didnt’ see, and on its own, Onslaught, despit some stylistical apt choices and some good old school practical gore effects, doesn’t really live up to its own title, in every aspect it lacks the substance, it never displays or conveys the raw fury it promises, nor manages to properly develop some of its ideas.

Maybe it would be easier to accept the movie for what it is instead of what could have been…. if it didn’t deliberately AND aggressively built up the final “onslaught” to be some this thing you need to brace for, and frankly you really don’t, it’s not even that excessive.

Even the literal super soldaten are kinda of a letdown, i liked the idea of these being de facto militarized slasher villains… but that is really as far as it goes.

It’s entertaining, the action is fun, the characters mostly stock but okay, and it’s barely above 90 minutes, so it’s not boring and knows to keep things as long as they need to, but you’d wish the movie didn’t set itself up for disappointment as it did.

Nintendo Direct, TGS 2026: the Level 5, the Pink Chainsaw and The Wardrobe

I’m mostly content with what the latest Nintendo Direct announced, and i found some announcements i cared about still even in terms of this year’s TGS, which ended 1 day earlier because of a typhoon alert.

Honestly surprised and pleased to see Nintendo is focusing on Metroid more than expected, with Metroid Ravenous, i really should actually get around to play Dread (yeah, eggs on his face, etc.).

I was watching the Nintendo Direct (a bit less how the Age Of Calamity remaster port offers a measly discount and no real upgrade path, not feeling like shelling 60 bucks again for a game i actually 100% completed, especially as of now), then saw the Level 5 announcements, and damn, Level 5, why couldn’t you have croaked a few years ago?

Sometimes dead is better, indeed.

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[EXPRESSO] Heart Of The Beast (2026) | The Dog Stars

Managed to see an early screening (it comes out regularly on the 24^th here) of Heart Of The Beast, David Year latest, and i won’t lie, i didn’t go into this expecting much.

After all, this is exact movie the trailers made it seems, and the kind you could really predict beat for beat when you hear the premise: a retired wounded soldier, James Belmont, and his dog, Odin, a scarred mine detection dog with titanium teeth and a prostethic leg, are taking a hunting-camping trip in the forests of Alaska, and just chilling.

They meet J.K. Simmons playing an old gold prospector that also was relaxing in the woods, have a beer, but when the duo sets off the next day, they crash their plane, and will have to survive the wilderness as they try to reach a safe place, working together as always…

It’s exactly what you’d think it would be, but dispenses immediatly with the “did the dog die?” question, which is both preaching to the choir but also being fairly honest, as the movie doesn’t really pretend to be anything else, to its credit.

Yet, i won’t lie, despite being fairly slow, arguably a bit too slow paced, basically a bit of “think of the American military, won’t you?” propaganda, and predictable to a tee (as its emotional beats), it’s done surprisingly decent, thanks to Pitt’s performance (and Odin’s too), the direction sticking to its realistic survival premise with confidence, and unlike Liam Neelson, we don’t get just implication of wolf punch, we actually get to see the duo fight ‘em.

Plus, the final resolution trying to tug at your heartstrings in the expected way… actually is effective, i can’t deny that.

Nothing special or unforgettable, but Heart Of The Beast is a surprisingly decent film.

[EXPRESSO] The Dog Stars (2026) | The Post-Apoca-Bore

Ridley Scott is not thinking about retirement anytime soon, which is commendable, in a way, but between Spielberg arguablu shitting his Jesus aliens pijamas in public and a film like The Dog Stars, i do wonder if might be for the better to simply call it quits.

Mind you, this is a better film than Disclosure Day, you can quote me on that, it is.

And it’s not even “bad” per sé, there is nothing particularly wrong with anything in The Dog Stars, there’s just not much of anything new, original, unique or otherwise that hadn’t already been done to death with the post-apocalypse survival drama.

In 2035 America, a flu pandemic led to civilization collapse, forcing the few survivors to scavenge for food, items, humanity reverting back to being more tribalistic, feral and murderous.

Hig has “dead wife” syndrome and yet tries to help out the few peaceful pockets of humanity he knows, while fending off intruders on the lot he shares with his old friend-survival partner Bangley, and hoping to find a better place somewhere out there…

Again, nothing wrong, but also nothing that engaging either, and i’m not talking about the action and how is all located in the second half of the film, as it doesn’t change the fact it’s all very uninspired and frankly kinda dull, as the plot offers no surprises or compelling narrative, and is as stock and basic as the characters.

All amounting to 2 hours-ish of mediocre, sleepily paced, derivative film that doesn’t hurt to watch or becomes outright boring, but it’s just middling, constantly reeking of “been there, done that”, the good cast (and the very good photography) can only do so much, and regardless, it just feel fueled by the obligation of doing something more than an actual vision.

[EXPRESSO] One Night Only (2026) | The Premarital Gex Purge

I was able to see a preview screening for this one, i was curious, as One Night Only has the unique hook of “What if The Purge was about fucking and framed as a quirky rom com?”.

It’s a ni– it’s an elevator pitch that gets you attention, but immediatly you wonder why is this not a dystopian thriller (or horror thriller), as it takes place in an America where they passed a ban on premarital sex, so single people now can copulate only 1 night of the year, with biochips on their arms to enforce compliance.

One guesses it doesn’t apply to non-hetero people, i do guess because we just have the lesbian roommate of the lead girl saying how this is “a thing for the straights”, not that there’s any thought about the terrifying implications of this (or how masturbation factors in), or any of its themes, as the focus is about Allie and Owen, one in search of romanticism during “Fuck Night”, the other having practically broke with her long time girlfriend hours before.

Even if you could ignore ALL OF THAT (and you won’t), the two leads really have little chemistry and you’ll wonder why in this context they didn’t immediatly fuck, not that you’ll care about these two milquetoast characters.

It’s both too heady and nowhere enough, as it wants to be just a casual meet-cute thing, but ultimately is an incredibly regressive, self-righteous, disgusting little film that’s sex-negative, yet wants to be a raunchy sex comedy…. without actually showing any nudity, that you’ll pine for the days of frigging Porky’s.

The movie itself literally says “being an incel is a badge of honor now”, just in case it didn’t already come off as fascist government propaganda selling “The Sex Purge” as a positive thing.

[EXPRESSO] The End Of Oak Street (2026) | Amblin’s Dynostopia

When i first saw in theathers the trailer for The End Of Oak Street showcasing dinosaurs i was sold, even more as it is from director-screenwriter-producer David Robert Mitchell (It Follows, Under The Silver Lake).

So someone knew how to market the film, clearly not who decided, a week before release, to release a promo on social media with talking dogs (not even dinosaurs) doing a podcast, made with generative IA to promote the film… to whom i don’t know, because even the less online, average person will see that and just go see something else.

Congrats to somehow managing being clowned on by the marketing team for fuckin Paw Patrol The Dino Movie, when you have to sell people on a 80s themed scifi mystery where Anne Hathaway knives dinosaurs to defend her family.

The End Of Oak Street is indeed about this family living in a 80s suburban community, which one day wakes up to see their entire block now surrounded by prehistoric vegetation and overrun by dinosaurs, as if displaced by some cosmic anomaly, with them now trying to bend together and survive in this new reality….

On one hand, it’s another movie taking place in the 80s, and unsubtly grabbing unto an Amblin-style nostalgia for the era, and you might feel disappointed if you expected it to hold some crazy twist that turned this into more bonkers territory (or a different ending).

On the other hand, it is a FAR better dinosaur movie than all the Jurassic World films combined, there’s a lot of prehistoric creatures being represented, the family drama is actually as solid as the survival itself, you do care about these characters, and it exactly as long as it needs, not bothering to give overly long explanations that will never satisfy anyone anyway.