Aatank (1996) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

Ah yes, foreign Jaws “rip-offs”, my favourite blend of shark trash.

I’m leaving the Turkish Çöl for another time, as we’re tackling one of the most featured ones in such lists (and prominent for obvious alphabetical reasons), the Indian Aatank, which itself had a troubled production history, being shot in the 1980s but not released until 1996, and being the last film appearance of a beloved Hindi actor (and politician), Dharmenda.

at least according to most sources, i can’t really corroborate from experience.

Though it’s worth being upfront in how this is another case where it being labelled a “Jaws rip-off” is mostly misleading, though kinda of a necessary evil to lure in people that wouldn’t have bothered at all if i didn’t say shit like “Bollywood Jaws”.

This is not to say that it’s random and unfitting, the movie has a killer shark in it…. but technically the same could be said of Back To The Future Part 2 due to the “Jaws 19” hologram.

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[EXPRESSO] Kensuke’s Kingdom (2023) | Island Survival Of Age

While i wasn’t able to see the French animated film Arco, i was able to see this one, Kensuke’s Kingdom, which actually debutted at Annecy 3 years ago, but just now is in theathers here.

Better late than never, i guess.

Based on a children novel of the same name by Michael Molpurgo, Kensuke’s Kingdom is the story of Michael, whom is travelling with his family in a worlwide sailing trip, when he and his dog Stella (sneaked aboard by the boy) fall overboard during a storm, only to find themselves swept into an isolated island in the Pacific Ocean, which turns out to be inhabited by Kensuke, a WWII japanese struggler from Nagasaki….

I’ll be honest, i decided to see this mostly because i felt like spotting a unicorn when i saw the trailer for a modern animated film actually done in 2D animation that isn’t spun from some popular battle shonen manga, and indeed the 2D animation is as gorgeous as it looks, expecially the backgrounds are amazing, though i find it funny that this also shares an island survival theme with that Ghibli coproduced French-Belgian film from 2016, The Red Turtle.

Most likely a coincidence since this one takes more stylistical clues from French-Belgian comics and it’s more a family film, down to being a fairly typical coming of age story at heart, complete with the boy and his dog, but it’s done fairly well, because you end up caring for the characters, and the themes of friendship and caring for nature don’t feel preachy because the movie also doesn’t shy away from darker scenes to balance things out, and it doesn’t gloss over Kensuke’s backstory and what it obviously entails.

Overall a familiar but well done coming of age story that’s moving AND sports amazing visuals.

[EXPRESSO] The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) | Legacy Girlbossing

Ah yes, the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice of fashion biz comedy-drama cinema.

Actually, yes: it’s a direct sequel, it takes into account the fact that 20 years have passed by for the characters too, the main cast is back reprising their roles, directing duties are still handled by David Frankel, even screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna is back as well, so it’s “legit”, as they once said.

I remember watching it back in the day, but since it was literally 20 years ago i did give a fresh watch…. and honestly it still holds up, it’s not perfect, but it’s funny, the satire still has some edge, it’s very memorable, lots of fun and damn that Streep performance (and Tucci’s of course).

Even so, since the trailer for this rolled out i wondered “why though?”, despite well knowing why: even if there wasn’t a book sequel to draw from, it’s the 2020s, even Twister has a legacy sequel.

My fear was that it would still be stuck in the mid-2000s…. but actually no, it’s actually the opposite, as it tackles the current issue of megacorpos, megamergers and layoff epidemic, with Andy, now a renowed journalist, getting laid off by her parent company as she is accepting an award in her field.

Now jobless, she is hired as senior writer by the fashion agency she once left, Runway, as the firm itself is facing a huge PR crisis and is at risk at being downsized into oblivion by the new management, despite still being (mostly) helmed by Miranda.

While not perfect, it’s a surprisingly good sequel that doesn’t amount to just a series of nods to the first one, and it’s arguably better than most legacy sequels we’re getting nowadays, with a cast in top form reprising their classic roles like they never left.

[EXPRESSO] The Long Walk (2025) | March Royale

Based on a Stephen King novel of the same name, The Long Walk is set in an alternative 70s America, where a totalitarian fascist rule (following some unclarified economic crisis) helds the titular “Long Walk”, where fifty young teen boys enter to represent their state and they have to walk while keeping a certain pace, and where any kind of action that involves stopping gives them a penalty, with a squadron ensure that after three strikes the runner will be shot dead, this all televised (“to inspire” economic and production growth in the nation, allegedly) and with no clear goal besides thinning the contestants to one, a single winner which will receive a big money prize and to have one wish fulfilled.

On its face, this it seems like a very late adaptation of an older King story (as this was indeed written way back in 1979) made to capture the resurgent interest in battle royales as a widespread and easily recognized concept – even outside of cinema -… and while the premise of King’s novel was indeed prescient, it still feels like its own thing since it doesn’t try to emulate the modern battle royale formula.

It has the themes, surely, but it forgoes any of the exaggerated theathrics by focusing almost exclusively to the titular “long walk”, the deadly youth marathon allegedly meant to be “inspiring”, which also conveniently works as a public execution exercise, a way to manifacture consent and to send a message to any possible young insurgents.

While not overly long itself, the direction does manage to keep the narrative focus, make you feel the insane and exhaustingly pointless death march that seems to never end, but also not bore the viewer thanks to great performances and very well rounded, engrossing teen characters.

Quite riveting.

[EXPRESSO] Thrash (2026) | Hurricane Sharks

A new shark movie just released on Netflix by Tommy Wirkola?

You got my attention, as i do like Wirkola as a director, but his output is often inconsistent, and this is far less Dead Snow or The Trip and more akin to his notably mediocre stuff like Seven Sisters.

The plot is basically like a more realistic take on Sharkenado via Alexandre Aja’s Crawl, as in, a level 5 hurricane is approaching a coastal town and the subsequent flooding brings in ravenous sharks, attracted by a meat truck splitting in half and basically inviting them to a feeding frenzy, the menù being a gaggle of unlucky people stuck in the flooded town.

Not a bad premise, not original, but it can work, and… it mostly does.

As in, it’s not good, but to be clear it’s just okay, it’s fine, it gets things going fast, its barely 90 minutes(ish) long, and while i do like that Wirkola films have some humour to them regardless, in this case the tone is undecisively split between being serious and jokey, with neither side working too well, even with some good actors like Djmon Hounsou we have characters that aren’t interesting nor fleshed out.

It’s a movie stuck between the desire to be a full on B-movie and wanting to be a serious shark film that never resolve its own tonal dilemma, plus even the shark effects are kinda lacking.

It has some standout moments but for every step towards being decent there’s something else dragging it back down to serviceable mediocrity, so i guess it’s for the better that it was once meant for theathers but eventually released on Netflix, since at least i didn’t have to fork out extra bucks for a mediocre, watchable but forgettable shark film such as this.

[EXPRESSO] Ready Or Not 2: Here They Come (2026) | Competitive Shemhamforash-ing

The first Ready Or Not was a refreshing modern twist on the classic formula first pioneered by The Most Dangerous Game, as in, fiv-i mean seven years ago the modern “eat the rich” subgenre of horror wasn’t yet saturated to exhaustion, and of crap like HIM (not the band) or Blink Twice.

So making a sequel isn’t necessarily a good idea, especially since the approach is quite simple, as it double downs with more of everything, taking place immediatly after the ending of the first one, with Grace’s survival setting in motion a bigger ritual that involves the other elite families reunited to take part in a manhunt to obtain a seal of ultimate power, again against Grace, and her estranged sister that gets forcedly roped into this satanic mess.

I mean, to make my point, this released the same month as They Will Kill You, which is also an action horror comedy about a devil worshipping cult made of powerful rich assholes and the protagonist is in this mess because of her sister, though the context isn’t the same, the style is far more grindhouse, even the usage of the supernatural element is for slightly different purposes.

Even so, the question is inevitable, and i would say this is the better film, as the approach of more of the same actually works for this sequel, there’s simply more to the plot, to the characters, bigger stakes, a proper sense of escalation, less repetition and a better handling of its themes (even as they have become overly familiary by now) making for a fun and funny action horror romp.

Comparisons asides (i’d say just watch them both if you can), it’s a good sequel and i gotta admit, it’s still funny to see people explode like rubberbanded human watermelons.

[EXPRESSO] They Will Kill You (2026) | Viscerae Satanae

There’s something to say about modern efficiently descriptive titles, as indeed you can get more direct of a title for a horror film than “They Will Kill You”, and it’s indeed pretty on the money, as the plot sees a young woman get recruit as a cleaning lady for the renowed high class hotel Virgil, but soon discover she was actually chosen as a offering to Satan himself, as the Virgil is basically a temple dedicated to him and his (mostly rich assholes) followers.

Little do these cultists know that their chosen sacrifice has undergone a Shaman King styled training arc while in prison, so she’s not stopping at anything on her quest for familiar revenge, especially now that she has been released, and has packed enough tools to do the deed, even if the Virgil has more supernatural shit going on than anyone could ever imagine.

It’s a action horror comedy romp of grindhouse style and proportions,with lots of graphic, deliberately over the top violence and lots of splattering of organs and blood all over the place, very reminescent of Tarantino’s style (down to the breaking down in chapters for twists and character backstories, plus some feet licking early on) and his emulation of the old grindhouse exploitation films, but the supernatural angle helps this stand out, basically making this a sort of revenge battle royale against satanic cultists that are almost as deadly as the ones in Blood.

It’s really fun, and even though the structure might feel a little repetitive, the short runtime helps the action flow fast & hard, plus even if you more or less figured out where it’s gonna go, there’s still plenty of unexpected and weird, over the top but also incredibly entertaining shit to keep the splatterworks and fun factor very high.

Final Verdict: Expresso

[EXPRESSO] Netflix’s One Piece (Season 2) (2026) | Grand Line Rules

The live action adventures of the Straw Hats continue in this second season (also made up of 8 long episodes), that covers from the Logue/Rogue Town Arc up to the conclusion of the Drum Island story arc, so it means Little Garden and Whispey Peak are in it, while seeding and teasing the main Alabasta arc that is likely gonna be the focus of Season 3.

Despite the variations to the plot with the Marine Festival in Rogue Town (among other things i will not spoil), you can rest assured Smoker’s pants still hunger for ice cream.

What can i say, it’s a fuckin miracle how not only the live action Netflix adaptation of One Piece is good, it’s great, it’s way better than it had any logical sense being, especially given Netflix track record and the rightfully frowned idea of turning animated series into live action.

Looking at you again, Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop.

Besides working as an incredible gateway for people to actually get invested in the manga and One Piece as a whole, offering something new for the many people already more than familiar with the story…. to be honest this is even better than season 1, and i’m not just talking about how the budget for this season clearly was a lot bigger than for the previous one,

the casting keeps getting even better, i’m honestly impressed, and they do commit, no matter how extra silly some already ridiculous designs were, we’re going all in, and it’s beautiful, perfectly in tone with its source material, throwing various little references on the sly for long time fans to get, made “just” because the people making the show actually love One Piece for what it is, without having to feel “shame” for it because someone told them they should.

[EXPRESSO] Project Hail Mary (2026) | Boldore Dash

Based on the novel of the same name by Andy Weir (also author of The Martian, adapted by Ridley Scott back in 2015), Project Hail Mary is promoted once again as the kind of “sci film you’ve never seen before”, and i feel that might harbour some disappointment.

Not because the film is bad, mind you, but because – as already pointed out by other critics – this IS something we have seen before, or more correctly, an ensemble of sci-fi ideas we have seen before, to the point one could almost envision it as a more happy, family friendly take on Villeneuve’s Arrival, in a way.

The plot follows a math scientist, Grace, that wakes up in a spaceship with amnesia, only to find himself the only person left alive, but slowly remembers why he’s there, sent as part of “Project Hail Mary”, an expedition to study why only a single star in the galaxy, Tau Ceti, isn’t being “consumed” despite being in range of the infrared “Petrova line” connecting the Sun to Venus, acting as a vector for organisms known as “Astrophage”, which are slowly dimming the Sun and will eventually make Earth’s temperature drop by a catastrophical degree.

While working on a solution, Grace finds an unexpected visitor and forms a friendship that will help in his quest to avoid Earth freezing to death….

Dispelling the “it’s really original never seen before” marketing babble is more of a necessary observation than a diss, because it’s a really well done mix of already seen sci fi ideas, led by a notable performance by Ryan Gosling in a movie that’s ultimately a wholesome, family friendly ordeal, which is quite nice as the movie does manage to properly balance out the more cerebral aspects with the emotional and comedy-laden moments.

The Black Scorpion 1957 [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

There are many giant monster bugs themed films from the ’50s, and if you made one back then, there’s a good chance that legendary fx maestro Willis O’Brien worked on most of them, curating the creature effects made in stop motion animation, and The Black Scorpion is indeed one of the less discussed 50s giant monster flicks, alongside the often forgotten-ignored piece of Eugenie Larie’s “dinosaur trilogy”, The Giant Behemoth, also with effects by O’Brien.

Yes, before you point it out, yes, a scorpion is not a bug per sé (and we’re gonna split hair, ants aren’t bugs either), is an arachnid, but it’s not like audiences cared about this back in ’50s, nor do they now.

Doesn’t really matter because if we can make it big, we can make a movie about it, thems the rules, and a scorpion is a really intimidating crawly for most, so why the fuck not?

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