[EXPRESSO] Mortal Kombat II (2026) | Sequel Syndrome

It would have taken some actual fuckin effort in actively trying to sabotage the film for this follow up to the 2021 Mortal Kombat to be worse than that… well, that film wasn’t really horrible, but it was an ensemble of random, unpopular and ineffective – at best – narrative choices made just so the film based around a fighting videogame series revolving around a mystic deadly fighting tournament could put on the side doing the titular bout of Mortal Kombat.

It all felt like it was just someone at WB mandating it to be so in order to lure doing the actual MK plot in a sequel that was actually about what people wanted to see… and Mortal Kombat II is indeed that, as Shang Tsung’s plan to kill Earthrealm champions before the tournament could begin fell apart, so now Earthrealm has to compete against Outrealm, commanded by the tyrant Shao Khan (served also by the necromancer Quan Chi), and a new warrior has been chosen by the gods to fight for Earthrealm, a washed up 90s action movie hero called Johnny Cage…

And yes, Karl Urban as Cage already makes this one the better film, but yes, overall this is actually what people were expecting from a MK movie, lots of fights, the tournament, lots of gore, fun videogame-fantasy nonsense, absurd characters duking it out in mystical realms, going to Hell, the effects are better and the plot is actually okay, doesn’t have pacing narcolepsy or occasional tone issues the 2021 had, this time around embracing wholeheartedly its inherent trashy nonsense.

While i had have honestly a very fun, silly time with this one, i will have to dock the rating down a notch because.. well, because this is the film they should have made back in 2021.

Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 PS4 [REVIEW] | Fist Of The Roman Star: Ceasar’s Rage 2

As i said in the review of the first Slap Them All, they quickly made a follow up game 2 years later (as in 2022 Mr. Nutz Studio released that awful Joe & Mac port-remake), simply titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Em All! 2, and while i was planning to review this next year… by coincidence i ended up playing it and finishing it far earlier than planned, so

Sure, that will leave Mission Babylon as the only new Asterix & Obelix game by Microids to review next year, but whatever,

This time around the plot is original, and concerns the theft of an important Roman insigna, the Aquila (literally “Eagle”, a golden eagle insigna), which is blamed on Lutetian friends of the Gaul duo, and so Asterix & Obelix venture to find out who actually stole the Aquila and why, before they execute the entire Lutetian village as retribution, so important is the Aquila in political leverage terms for the Roman Empire than losing it is seen as a great public shame for the reigning emperor.

It’s not a bad plot, it’s fine, and at least it’s not just Ceasar once again throwing a scheme to finally conquer those pesky Gaul villagers.

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[EXPRESSO] The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) | Legacy Girlbossing

Ah yes, the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice of fashion biz comedy-drama cinema.

Actually, yes: it’s a direct sequel, it takes into account the fact that 20 years have passed by for the characters too, the main cast is back reprising their roles, directing duties are still handled by David Frankel, even screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna is back as well, so it’s “legit”, as they once said.

I remember watching it back in the day, but since it was literally 20 years ago i did give a fresh watch…. and honestly it still holds up, it’s not perfect, but it’s funny, the satire still has some edge, it’s very memorable, lots of fun and damn that Streep performance (and Tucci’s of course).

Even so, since the trailer for this rolled out i wondered “why though?”, despite well knowing why: even if there wasn’t a book sequel to draw from, it’s the 2020s, even Twister has a legacy sequel.

My fear was that it would still be stuck in the mid-2000s…. but actually no, it’s actually the opposite, as it tackles the current issue of megacorpos, megamergers and layoff epidemic, with Andy, now a renowed journalist, getting laid off by her parent company as she is accepting an award in her field.

Now jobless, she is hired as senior writer by the fashion agency she once left, Runway, as the firm itself is facing a huge PR crisis and is at risk at being downsized into oblivion by the new management, despite still being (mostly) helmed by Miranda.

While not perfect, it’s a surprisingly good sequel that doesn’t amount to just a series of nods to the first one, and it’s arguably better than most legacy sequels we’re getting nowadays, with a cast in top form reprising their classic roles like they never left.

Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! PS4 [REVIEW] | Rock Em & Sock Em Romans

Because i’m slowly turning April into the “Asterix & Obelix” month, and due to a new CGI animated film, Asterix & Obelix: The Kingdom Of Nubia, releasing this October, we’re doing more of the Microids published Asterix titles.

Since we did all the titles in the XXL subseries of Asterix & Obelix games, we’re now tackling a retro styled 2D beat em up, the fittingly titled Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All!

The story is based on 5 classic Asterix & Obelix stories, plus an original final act, so if you were hoping for an original story, you aren’t getting that here, but the picks are indeed some of the more recognizable and beloved stories from the comic book series, like Asterix and The Normans, Asterix In Spain and Asterix & Cleopatra.

The game is fuckin gorgeous, to the point i believe they blew their entire budget on the hand-drawn style graphics, as the cutscenes are just cheap character sprites/portraits talking at each other while the portraits just fade in an out, and while the art style it’s loyal to the comic strips, it means there also some sadly fitting “ethnic stereotypes” brought over as is from the decade olds comics, like the poor black guy that is the sightseeing dude on the pirate ship and is routinely knocked over when Asterix & Obelix casually terrorize them when traveling, or the random “asian pirate with nunchuks” mid-tier enemies that might as well have “Mickey Rooney doing yellowface” masks on.

Speaking of the cutscenes, at least they voiced these, can’t say the same for Asterix & Obelix XXXL: The Ram From Hibernia… but in similar fashion to that they cheaped out and didn’t bother to dub it in italian as well, despite the franchise being really popular here still.

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[EXPRESSO] Thrash (2026) | Hurricane Sharks

A new shark movie just released on Netflix by Tommy Wirkola?

You got my attention, as i do like Wirkola as a director, but his output is often inconsistent, and this is far less Dead Snow or The Trip and more akin to his notably mediocre stuff like Seven Sisters.

The plot is basically like a more realistic take on Sharkenado via Alexandre Aja’s Crawl, as in, a level 5 hurricane is approaching a coastal town and the subsequent flooding brings in ravenous sharks, attracted by a meat truck splitting in half and basically inviting them to a feeding frenzy, the menù being a gaggle of unlucky people stuck in the flooded town.

Not a bad premise, not original, but it can work, and… it mostly does.

As in, it’s not good, but to be clear it’s just okay, it’s fine, it gets things going fast, its barely 90 minutes(ish) long, and while i do like that Wirkola films have some humour to them regardless, in this case the tone is undecisively split between being serious and jokey, with neither side working too well, even with some good actors like Djmon Hounsou we have characters that aren’t interesting nor fleshed out.

It’s a movie stuck between the desire to be a full on B-movie and wanting to be a serious shark film that never resolve its own tonal dilemma, plus even the shark effects are kinda lacking.

It has some standout moments but for every step towards being decent there’s something else dragging it back down to serviceable mediocrity, so i guess it’s for the better that it was once meant for theathers but eventually released on Netflix, since at least i didn’t have to fork out extra bucks for a mediocre, watchable but forgettable shark film such as this.

[EXPRESSO] Ready Or Not 2: Here They Come (2026) | Competitive Shemhamforash-ing

The first Ready Or Not was a refreshing modern twist on the classic formula first pioneered by The Most Dangerous Game, as in, fiv-i mean seven years ago the modern “eat the rich” subgenre of horror wasn’t yet saturated to exhaustion, and of crap like HIM (not the band) or Blink Twice.

So making a sequel isn’t necessarily a good idea, especially since the approach is quite simple, as it double downs with more of everything, taking place immediatly after the ending of the first one, with Grace’s survival setting in motion a bigger ritual that involves the other elite families reunited to take part in a manhunt to obtain a seal of ultimate power, again against Grace, and her estranged sister that gets forcedly roped into this satanic mess.

I mean, to make my point, this released the same month as They Will Kill You, which is also an action horror comedy about a devil worshipping cult made of powerful rich assholes and the protagonist is in this mess because of her sister, though the context isn’t the same, the style is far more grindhouse, even the usage of the supernatural element is for slightly different purposes.

Even so, the question is inevitable, and i would say this is the better film, as the approach of more of the same actually works for this sequel, there’s simply more to the plot, to the characters, bigger stakes, a proper sense of escalation, less repetition and a better handling of its themes (even as they have become overly familiary by now) making for a fun and funny action horror romp.

Comparisons asides (i’d say just watch them both if you can), it’s a good sequel and i gotta admit, it’s still funny to see people explode like rubberbanded human watermelons.

Paws Of Fury: Samurai Academy PS5 [REVIEW] | Dogurai Defense

My first impression was “the fuck is this?” when stumbling upon it on Amazon.

Then i looked at the cover and a stupid memory emerged, that yes, i recognize these characters, they’re from that middling and unexplicable animated kids film remake of Mel Brook’s Blazing Saddles, The Legend Of Hank: Paws Of Fury, which i reviewed last month.

Problem is, that came out in 2022, and i’m fairly sure most people do not even know it exists or already forgot, but apparently it didn’t do nowhere as bad as one would assume in terms of box office and streaming revenue (though according to Wikipedia it didn’t even break even), yet i wonder why a tie-in videogame its coming out 3 years after the film it “tie-ing” into released?

Even more, now dropping the “Legend Of Hank” subtitle and feeling even more like a rejected Bubsy pitch?

This seems like some primo kusoge beef, if you will. It has the stank all over it.

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[EXPRESSO] The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) | Starbound and Bible Black

While i (mostly) stand by my review of the first Super Mario animated film by Illumination… i do wanna stress out i didn’t mean it was great (i even said “considering it’s from Illumination”), but i found it to be pretty fun regardless even if it was trying to basically be a big nostalgia trip and advertisment vehicle.

If nothing else, the Super Mario Galaxy Movie is a follow up that clearly knows it doesn’t have to put any effort in terms of plot, as the first movie did set up the characters and the world, so this one instead quadruples down on nostalgic Nintendo references to any of their Mario or non-Mario related franchise, including a certain starbound, Thunderbirds inspired woodland creature whose presence leaked days before release.

To be fair, the plot isn’t really that thinner than the previous movie, and adapting Galaxy’s story – with a splash of Sunshine’s via Bowser Jr. – isn’t a bad choice, but since they did establish the world in the first film, they decided to use this as an excuse to pump in even more characters and references instead of actually giving anything (like the romantic subplot) some space to breathe, beside the main focus, as in, Bowser Jr. launching a scheme to free his dad via Rosalina’s powers.

As a result it’s even more than the first movie an ensemble of things just happening, as the screenwriters just throw scenes and characters, all Mario (and non-Mario) things all into the pot, regardless… which the previous film did, but not to this degree, and the short runtime futhers exacerbates the matter.

I will admit it’s still very well animated, very cute, and the actions scenes (especially the various fights) are well done, making for a decent animated kids film. It’s okay.

Super Mario Adventures [MANGA REVIEW] | Peach Power

Since i’ve run out of older Mario films to review, time to look at some of the manga about the plumbering bros and its magical mushroom world of pipes and princesses.

At least one of the mangas, as we’ll do Super Mario-Kun some other times.

Thankfully italian publisher JPOP did collect all of the more known Mario manga series, simply called Super Mario Adventures, all in one volume, at least for the italian release, the american one is handled by VIZ Media, so you’ll have to check availability for your region or whatever.

Story is by Kentaro Takekuma, mostly known for this and Even A Monkey Can Draw Manga/Saruman series that parodies instructional works about making manga and the industry as well, and received itself a sequel series, Saruman 2.0, back in 2007.

Art is by Charlie Nozawa, whom surprisingly isn’t credited to anything else… at least under that name, a pseudonym for Tamakichi Sakura, whom worked as a character designer for some old Enix games like Dungeon Land and other titles like Pikiinia!, the Sansara Naga series and Tower Dream, all that never left Japan, but he also has other works as a manga artist, as he’s behind Shiawase No Kaitachi (Figures Of Happiness) and Oyaji No Wakusei (Planet Of The Father).

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[EXPRESSO] They Will Kill You (2026) | Viscerae Satanae

There’s something to say about modern efficiently descriptive titles, as indeed you can get more direct of a title for a horror film than “They Will Kill You”, and it’s indeed pretty on the money, as the plot sees a young woman get recruit as a cleaning lady for the renowed high class hotel Virgil, but soon discover she was actually chosen as a offering to Satan himself, as the Virgil is basically a temple dedicated to him and his (mostly rich assholes) followers.

Little do these cultists know that their chosen sacrifice has undergone a Shaman King styled training arc while in prison, so she’s not stopping at anything on her quest for familiar revenge, especially now that she has been released, and has packed enough tools to do the deed, even if the Virgil has more supernatural shit going on than anyone could ever imagine.

It’s a action horror comedy romp of grindhouse style and proportions,with lots of graphic, deliberately over the top violence and lots of splattering of organs and blood all over the place, very reminescent of Tarantino’s style (down to the breaking down in chapters for twists and character backstories, plus some feet licking early on) and his emulation of the old grindhouse exploitation films, but the supernatural angle helps this stand out, basically making this a sort of revenge battle royale against satanic cultists that are almost as deadly as the ones in Blood.

It’s really fun, and even though the structure might feel a little repetitive, the short runtime helps the action flow fast & hard, plus even if you more or less figured out where it’s gonna go, there’s still plenty of unexpected and weird, over the top but also incredibly entertaining shit to keep the splatterworks and fun factor very high.

Final Verdict: Expresso