The Spooktacular Eight #33: Spawn (1997)

2004’s live action Devilman, consider yourself spared, as this year (due to recent events contributing to schedule changes) we’re doing instead 1997’s Spawn.

I did got the Blu Ray release by Arrow Video, and it was still in its factory wrap, so time to…. actually visit for the first time, i never saw this in theathers or TV, i was too young back then, my first time seeing Spawn at all was when Soul Calibur II console ports released and the X-Box version got him as the console exclusive guest character.

But it was hard not to hear about in the 2000s as one of the worst comic book films ever, an infamous reputation so widespread and radicated, a stink to it that even The Venture Bros couldn’t resist throwing a jab at it in late 2009-2010, a foul reputation that never really went away.

And just putting this out, i wasn’t aware until i decided to swap this into the 2004 Devilman‘s slot that they’ve been trying to reboot the brand with a new film for decades, and apparently this time around it most likely will happen, we got recent news of the reboot coming along… or maybe it won’t, as the superhero genre is well past his peak in terms of popularity.

I will not claim any responsability over that either way.

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PO’ED: Definitive Edition PS4 [REVIEW] | Mein Soufflè!

I have played a few FPS in my days, not too many, but sure as hell i never played PO’ED, never even heard of the frigging thing until the AVGN episode about the 3DO, to be honest, as i never knew anyone growing up that had that thing (which i assume is the case for almost everyone else), and i never even stumbled upon the PS1 port.

So i was curious, realized that Nightdive did actually do a remaster in their KEX engine for this oscure mid 90s FPS, and i got during a PSN sale.

It just called to me, as the forgotten weird ass FPS where you play as a chef and use frying pan to kill alien ass monsters, i knew i had to play it.

The story is all explained in a letter text dump where the protagonist, a chef named Ox, writes to his mum how that sweet paying gig on a spaceship …didn’t go as planned, as aliens infiltrated the ship, killed all the mercs, so he’ll have to take on some fresh meat.

And he’s indeed – title drop – Pissed Off, as he writes in the few text scrolls/letters.

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Slotherhouse (2023) [REVIEW] | Slay Queen

While i’m sure i can find more old 80s school themed/adjacent slasher, this September we’re doing something a bit more recent for a change, from a chronological standpoint, by unearthing from my Blu-Ray collection 2023’s Slotherhouse.

And yes, indeed, this is a 10/10 title for you killer animal slasher film.

It really is indeed about a killer sloth, and the house is not any common house, it’s a sorority house, where Emily Young, a college student brings a three-toed sloth from the jungle, thinking it can work as a “house mascot” and hence help her be elected as the sorority’s president.

But of course things go awry as a series of sorority girls is being killed, and all the evidence strongly implicates it’s actually the cute sloth the one doing all the murders…

I’ll be honest, the promo material made it look like it was chomping off the modern “retro 80s trend”, specifically aping Happy Death Day…. but i was mistaken, this isn’t the case, as Slotherhouse – aside taking place in modern times – is oddly not even that much interested in aping other slasher films. Not too specifically, anyway.

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Platformation Time Again update plans

I have more updates about the blog to share in the future, but let’s start with something i can confirm right now.

Platformation Time Again not only will keep going as usual (if I could i would make it even more recurring of a rubric), but alongside the EXTEND addendums, a will be dedicating a sub-rubric to collections, compilations, and so on, especially due these are becoming more and more widespread as the industry is really scraping about everything in their back catalogue, and platformers (alongside beat em ups) are a big part of this surge of “new money for old rope”.

Specific rules are being written as of now, but it’s 100 % a thing that will happen regardless.

A couple new EXPRESSO reviews will arrive very soon, in the meantime, and you can read my review of the recently released Heart Of The Beast of you so desire.

See ya.

Platformation Time Again #10: Donkey Kong 64 N64 | NSWITCH/NSWITCH2

HISTORY

I don’t think i need to explain who Donkey Kong is, heck, you wouldn’t need to do so even back in 1999, as the reboot of the series by british developer Rareware proved to be incredibly successful, reinvigorating DK for a new generation by updating it, and other phrases i’m probably gonna repeat when i eventually tackle the Country games, so i’m just stopping myself here.

Plus its not like DK became this niche Nintendo franchise fans spend years begging for a sequel that they most likely ain’t gonna get.

But for today, let’s pretend we don’t know what Bananza is, or even what Conker’s N64 game would turn out to be, for that matter.

After wrapping up the SNES trilogy of DK games with Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble in late 1996, a team of Rare employees were put to work on a Donkey Kong game for the N64….allegedly it was intended to launch for the then new N64DD add-on but most likely it was an idea by producers that quickly died when the add-on sales were shown to be exactly as low as they were expecting, after years of delays to debut into a market where the Compact Disc was indeed becoming the new norm and making cartridges obsolete.

Curiously it wasn’t even intended as a full 3D platformer, but instead as 2.5D platformer more in line with the Country series , though this version spend 18 months in developments, was ultimately scrapped (if anything of that version survives to this day, it’s being held secret by either old Rare and-or Nintendo staff, there’s no images of it circulating at the time of posting,), a lot of people that worked on Banjo Kazooie were brought in, and the game was reworked into being a typical 3D collectathon platformer in the vein of BK and it’s sequel, Banjo Tooie.

There’s a bit more to the production history of Donkey Kong 64, but it was mostly Rare doing their thing as usual by then, there’s no major scandal, but i would be a fool not talk about about how Nintendo staff checked-in to see the game early on, leading to a terrified Shigeru Miyamoto seeing DK given a realistic double barreled shotgun (producing realistic gun sounds) as a weapon to shoot cartoon beavers with, only for him to quickly sketch up a less alarming, more child friendly and less problematic weaponry, adding leaf branches, a more wooden design, the now iconic “coconut gun”, which was immediatly implemented in the game.

All of this just because the realistic gun was a placeholder Rare absent mindedly left in.

For reference, this review is based on both my old playthrough of DK 64 on original N64 hardware and a fresh run of the version released via the N64 Classics app/service on Switch 2 (as all N64 games, it can run on the old Switch 1 consoles as well).

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[EXPRESSO] Hololive Dreams iOS | Gachikoi Gambah Galore

Hololive fans assemble, because with Hololive Dreams we’re going full smarthphone global release, F2P gacha obviously because how else will the talents try to roll themselves on stream, feeding the gambling addiction loop?

Chock full of talents both active and long graduated V-Tubers (yes, there’s Gawr “Gooba” Gura in it) doing admittely not particularly crazy things in terms of events or dialogues, but again, this is obviously targeted to already converted fans of the various talents/streamers/singers/entertainting, they ain’t trying to make new fans but “preach to the choir”

They are here to be cute, do things together, like prepare streams, chill in the communal house, decorate their rooms, enjoy the lush island and perform for the fans, which is done via a fairly typical but solid rhythh game fashion, more like a touch based DJ Max or Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage than – for example – the Project Diva games or the Love Live mobile rhythm games…. actually, it plays and looks identical to Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage.

Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even if you suck at rhythm games like meself, unless you expected something more original, but sure as hell it’s far more compelling than the RPG side of things, as the quests are really just fetch quests without the fetching, and it doesn’t help how sterile and clean the story and talents are made to be, especially since most of the vtubers are known for moments that escape the “idol culture” and the corporate mentality associated with it.

And you know, also marrying gacha economy with a fanbase more vulnerable to parasocial trappings is EXTRA predatory.

Then again, that was to be expected, so i’m not really shocked or offended, and to give due credit, the game does look good and is well produced, but beware.

[EXPRESSO] The Ghost In The Shell (2026) | Future Past

At long last, the new Ghost In The Shell anime series is out, handled by Science Saru (Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, Devilman Crybaby, Japan Sinks 2020), and streaming internationally on Amazon Video.

As a very long time fan and GITS scholar, this new series held extra appeal as it was sold on being a loyal adaptation of Masamune Shirow original manga, which is oddly a novel proposition, since most of GITS incarnations refer to the Mamoru Oshii films as an example for tone and characterization, not really the manga.

So if you are familiar with those, the Stand Alone Complex or later iterations, you will be in for a surprise, putting aside Motoko Kusanagi’s very different characterization, even if the premise remains the same.

2029, the world is interconnected and cyborg enhancements have made the distinction between man and machine even more blurry, and in this cyberpunk future Motoko Kusanagi, an expert cyborg soldier, wants to establish a squad capable of tackling technological and security threats.

As it happens, government official Daisuke Aramaki is also planning to create a special organization, so he recruits Motoko and her squad to form Public Security Section 9, and as such intervene in case of terrorism, cybercrime and such.

This first season does adapt fully the original manga (meaning it doesn’t cover the sequel volumes, Human Error Processor and Man Machine Interface), as expected, honestly – aside the excellent faux 80s stylization – the animation is impressive, and it’s oddly novel to see an actually faithful anime adaptation of GITS, paradoxically standing out among the other iterations, and showing how strong the original Shirow work is, as it doesn’t really feel outdated.

which in itself it’s quite worrying, but honestly i don’t know what else i could ask for from this GITS adaptation.

[EXPRESSO] The Mortuary Assistant (2026) | Flat Possession Rate

Based on an indie horror game of the same name i’ve heard about but haven’t had the pleasure of playing yet, The Mortuary Assistant has a solid concept, with Rebecca, a mortician in training (with a past od drugs and alcoholism) that has graduated to assistant, being called in by her boss, Raymond, to do an unplanned night shift, with weird requests like embalming then cremating a corpse, but soon strange things start happening…

I’ll be honest, i was just expecting a lesser version of Autopsy Of Jane Doe, and i don’t know how much or if this rappresents the eponymous videogame, but i can sure recognize boring garbage when i see it.

It even starts off decently, but then constantly degrades, between boring flashbacks, tiresome hallucination scenes, or the demon tormenting… well, more dick around (often saying frankly laughable shit) to the protagonist, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear even when the plot stops for lore and-or exposition dumps, nor do we know why the entity doesn’t outright kill the downright stupid protagonist you won’t care about, as she keeps falling for the same obvious trap.

there’s no atmosphere, no tension, the acting is mediocre at the very, very best, everything (entities-monsters included) is just plopped there with no grace or gusto, the thin plot grinds to a halt so we can have lore and make it clear this was based on a videogame, stopping to find video tapes or solve a demonic puzzle by matching symbols or something.

It’s being professionally put together and sporting solid effectds doesn’t matter when it’s all so flat, stupid and boring, never actually scary, especially when its topped off with one hell of a non-ending that i’m not even sure was meant to sequelbait, but will just piss you off even more.

Magical Girl Of The End/Magical Girl Apocalypse manga [REVIEW] | Pervert Cop VS the Murder Megucas

While we can’t really blame this on “Madoka Magica Effect”, we can’t because this isn’t even trying to lure you …. still, you know that series’ success was bound to spawn magical girl manga like this.

Frankly, this isn’t the more absurd “magical girl but edgy” take, heck, this predates Magical Girls Ops Asuka, which has them weilding realistic firearms and getting PSTD, maybe we’ll do that sometime, but i wanted to do something magical girl related because the new Madoka movie somehow finally released in Japanese theathers not even a week ago.

That said, after all, what do you expect from an action horror manga called Magical Girl Of The End… or Magical Girl Apocalypse,, but i prefer the original title.

Written and illustrated by Kentaro Sato, Magical Girl Of The End begins where most of these shonen horror series do: with a massacre in a Japanese high school class, where an average and distant teen, Kii Kogami, sees a weird gothic lolita dressed humanoid appear and explode people heads like the Fourth Of July, only for the cadavers to rise as zombies, and thing have started going to shit outside too, as a flood of those weird monsters chanting “magical” drops from the sky.

Kii manages to escape the school alongside his childhood friend Tsukune and other survivors, bending together to try escape these “magical girls monsters” as they keep swarming and causing even more death and destruction…..

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[EXPRESSO] Ghost: 2 Big To Rig (2026) | Nights Of The Skeletour

Ghost has been one of the biggest modern metal successes, and the first concert film, Rite Here Rite Now, was both a banger and was the more profitable/grossing hard rock limited cinema event release in the US, ever, so you bet your bippy they were gonna do more.

It’s not like there was gonna ever be a lack of live footage, since the band has been active indeed.

Ghost 2 Big To Rig specifically serves to immortalize their two nights performance (the 24^th and 25 of September 2025) in Mexico during their Skeletour, as 2 hours concert film meant to revisit the event or serving as an entry point into the band, as this one doesn’t require previous knowledge of the band’s lore to get the narrative segments… because there aren’t any.

I will admit, i did like the first concert film more, because (aside liking the tracklist in that one better) it did have those goofy funny narrative segments….but on the other hand they never falsely advertised this as having those, quite the opposite, because 2 Big To Rig is instead just a concert film, which takes some moments to show some “behind the scenes” footage of the massive crew setting up the stage, with a technician comment providing the movie subtitle, as he describes the whole thing as “too big to rig, but we do it anyway”.

And honestly, in this case even this being “just” a concert film i feel is enough, because it’s one hell of a show, the camera angles let you also catch many details of the stage, including the costumes and the amazing visuals for the background displays, which might have been impossible to see during the event, depending on your seating.

So yeah, catch this one in theathers if you can, recommended.