Platformation Time Again #10: Donkey Kong 64 N64 | NSWITCH/NSWITCH2

HISTORY

I don’t think i need to explain who Donkey Kong is, heck, you wouldn’t need to do so even back in 1999, as the reboot of the series by british developer Rareware proved to be incredibly successful, reinvigorating DK for a new generation by updating it, and other phrases i’m probably gonna repeat when i eventually tackle the Country games, so i’m just stopping myself here.

Plus its not like DK became this niche Nintendo franchise fans spend years begging for a sequel that they most likely ain’t gonna get.

But for today, let’s pretend we don’t know what Bananza is, or even what Conker’s N64 game would turn out to be, for that matter.

After wrapping up the SNES trilogy of DK games with Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble in late 1996, a team of Rare employees were put to work on a Donkey Kong game for the N64….allegedly it was intended to launch for the then new N64DD add-on but most likely it was an idea by producers that quickly died when the add-on sales were shown to be exactly as low as they were expecting, after years of delays to debut into a market where the Compact Disc was indeed becoming the new norm and making cartridges obsolete.

Curiously it wasn’t even intended as a full 3D platformer, but instead as 2.5D platformer more in line with the Country series , though this version spend 18 months in developments, was ultimately scrapped (if anything of that version survives to this day, it’s being held secret by either old Rare and-or Nintendo staff, there’s no images of it circulating at the time of posting,), a lot of people that worked on Banjo Kazooie were brought in, and the game was reworked into being a typical 3D collectathon platformer in the vein of BK and it’s sequel, Banjo Tooie.

There’s a bit more to the production history of Donkey Kong 64, but it was mostly Rare doing their thing as usual by then, there’s no major scandal, but i would be a fool not talk about about how Nintendo staff checked-in to see the game early on, leading to a terrified Shigeru Miyamoto seeing DK given a realistic double barreled shotgun (producing realistic gun sounds) as a weapon to shoot cartoon beavers with, only for him to quickly sketch up a less alarming, more child friendly and less problematic weaponry, adding leaf branches, a more wooden design, the now iconic “coconut gun”, which was immediatly implemented in the game.

All of this just because the realistic gun was a placeholder Rare absent mindedly left in.

For reference, this review is based on both my old playthrough of DK 64 on original N64 hardware and a fresh run of the version released via the N64 Classics app/service on Switch 2 (as all N64 games, it can run on the old Switch 1 consoles as well).

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[EXPRESSO] Hololive Dreams iOS | Gachikoi Gambah Galore

Hololive fans assemble, because with Hololive Dreams we’re going full smarthphone global release, F2P gacha obviously because how else will the talents try to roll themselves on stream, feeding the gambling addiction loop?

Chock full of talents both active and long graduated V-Tubers (yes, there’s Gawr “Gooba” Gura in it) doing admittely not particularly crazy things in terms of events or dialogues, but again, this is obviously targeted to already converted fans of the various talents/streamers/singers/entertainting, they ain’t trying to make new fans but “preach to the choir”

They are here to be cute, do things together, like prepare streams, chill in the communal house, decorate their rooms, enjoy the lush island and perform for the fans, which is done via a fairly typical but solid rhythh game fashion, more like a touch based DJ Max or Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage than – for example – the Project Diva games or the Love Live mobile rhythm games…. actually, it plays and looks identical to Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage.

Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even if you suck at rhythm games like meself, unless you expected something more original, but sure as hell it’s far more compelling than the RPG side of things, as the quests are really just fetch quests without the fetching, and it doesn’t help how sterile and clean the story and talents are made to be, especially since most of the vtubers are known for moments that escape the “idol culture” and the corporate mentality associated with it.

And you know, also marrying gacha economy with a fanbase more vulnerable to parasocial trappings is EXTRA predatory.

Then again, that was to be expected, so i’m not really shocked or offended, and to give due credit, the game does look good and is well produced, but beware.

[EXPRESSO] The Ghost In The Shell (2026) | Future Past

At long last, the new Ghost In The Shell anime series is out, handled by Science Saru (Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, Devilman Crybaby, Japan Sinks 2020), and streaming internationally on Amazon Video.

As a very long time fan and GITS scholar, this new series held extra appeal as it was sold on being a loyal adaptation of Masamune Shirow original manga, which is oddly a novel proposition, since most of GITS incarnations refer to the Mamoru Oshii films as an example for tone and characterization, not really the manga.

So if you are familiar with those, the Stand Alone Complex or later iterations, you will be in for a surprise, putting aside Motoko Kusanagi’s very different characterization, even if the premise remains the same.

2029, the world is interconnected and cyborg enhancements have made the distinction between man and machine even more blurry, and in this cyberpunk future Motoko Kusanagi, an expert cyborg soldier, wants to establish a squad capable of tackling technological and security threats.

As it happens, government official Daisuke Aramaki is also planning to create a special organization, so he recruits Motoko and her squad to form Public Security Section 9, and as such intervene in case of terrorism, cybercrime and such.

This first season does adapt fully the original manga (meaning it doesn’t cover the sequel volumes, Human Error Processor and Man Machine Interface), as expected, honestly – aside the excellent faux 80s stylization – the animation is impressive, and it’s oddly novel to see an actually faithful anime adaptation of GITS, paradoxically standing out among the other iterations, and showing how strong the original Shirow work is, as it doesn’t really feel outdated.

which in itself it’s quite worrying, but honestly i don’t know what else i could ask for from this GITS adaptation.

[EXPRESSO] The Mortuary Assistant (2026) | Flat Possession Rate

Based on an indie horror game of the same name i’ve heard about but haven’t had the pleasure of playing yet, The Mortuary Assistant has a solid concept, with Rebecca, a mortician in training (with a past od drugs and alcoholism) that has graduated to assistant, being called in by her boss, Raymond, to do an unplanned night shift, with weird requests like embalming then cremating a corpse, but soon strange things start happening…

I’ll be honest, i was just expecting a lesser version of Autopsy Of Jane Doe, and i don’t know how much or if this rappresents the eponymous videogame, but i can sure recognize boring garbage when i see it.

It even starts off decently, but then constantly degrades, between boring flashbacks, tiresome hallucination scenes, or the demon tormenting… well, more dick around (often saying frankly laughable shit) to the protagonist, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear even when the plot stops for lore and-or exposition dumps, nor do we know why the entity doesn’t outright kill the downright stupid protagonist you won’t care about, as she keeps falling for the same obvious trap.

there’s no atmosphere, no tension, the acting is mediocre at the very, very best, everything (entities-monsters included) is just plopped there with no grace or gusto, the thin plot grinds to a halt so we can have lore and make it clear this was based on a videogame, stopping to find video tapes or solve a demonic puzzle by matching symbols or something.

It’s being professionally put together and sporting solid effectds doesn’t matter when it’s all so flat, stupid and boring, never actually scary, especially when its topped off with one hell of a non-ending that i’m not even sure was meant to sequelbait, but will just piss you off even more.

Magical Girl Of The End/Magical Girl Apocalypse manga [REVIEW] | Pervert Cop VS the Murder Megucas

While we can’t really blame this on “Madoka Magica Effect”, we can’t because this isn’t even trying to lure you …. still, you know that series’ success was bound to spawn magical girl manga like this.

Frankly, this isn’t the more absurd “magical girl but edgy” take, heck, this predates Magical Girls Ops Asuka, which has them weilding realistic firearms and getting PSTD, maybe we’ll do that sometime, but i wanted to do something magical girl related because the new Madoka movie somehow finally released in Japanese theathers not even a week ago.

That said, after all, what do you expect from an action horror manga called Magical Girl Of The End… or Magical Girl Apocalypse,, but i prefer the original title.

Written and illustrated by Kentaro Sato, Magical Girl Of The End begins where most of these shonen horror series do: with a massacre in a Japanese high school class, where an average and distant teen, Kii Kogami, sees a weird gothic lolita dressed humanoid appear and explode people heads like the Fourth Of July, only for the cadavers to rise as zombies, and thing have started going to shit outside too, as a flood of those weird monsters chanting “magical” drops from the sky.

Kii manages to escape the school alongside his childhood friend Tsukune and other survivors, bending together to try escape these “magical girls monsters” as they keep swarming and causing even more death and destruction…..

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[EXPRESSO] Ghost: 2 Big To Rig (2026) | Nights Of The Skeletour

Ghost has been one of the biggest modern metal successes, and the first concert film, Rite Here Rite Now, was both a banger and was the more profitable/grossing hard rock limited cinema event release in the US, ever, so you bet your bippy they were gonna do more.

It’s not like there was gonna ever be a lack of live footage, since the band has been active indeed.

Ghost 2 Big To Rig specifically serves to immortalize their two nights performance (the 24^th and 25 of September 2025) in Mexico during their Skeletour, as 2 hours concert film meant to revisit the event or serving as an entry point into the band, as this one doesn’t require previous knowledge of the band’s lore to get the narrative segments… because there aren’t any.

I will admit, i did like the first concert film more, because (aside liking the tracklist in that one better) it did have those goofy funny narrative segments….but on the other hand they never falsely advertised this as having those, quite the opposite, because 2 Big To Rig is instead just a concert film, which takes some moments to show some “behind the scenes” footage of the massive crew setting up the stage, with a technician comment providing the movie subtitle, as he describes the whole thing as “too big to rig, but we do it anyway”.

And honestly, in this case even this being “just” a concert film i feel is enough, because it’s one hell of a show, the camera angles let you also catch many details of the stage, including the costumes and the amazing visuals for the background displays, which might have been impossible to see during the event, depending on your seating.

So yeah, catch this one in theathers if you can, recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure: Golden Spirit iOS | The Gachalands

Probably comes as no surprise to anybody that Golden Spirit is another pile of gacha shit… but still, i decided to give this one a try.

Mostly because i haven’t played one of these in a while and because it’s Jojo…. and starting off, gameplay it’s not exactly what i figured it would be from the trailers, and by that i mean it was sold as a “ tactical RPG”, which to me means a Tactics style turn based affair, this is actually a real time autobattler where the more pressing issue is positioning the units, so yeah, it’s another idle self playing borefest, the strategic hook of the Rush mechanic meaning very little, and of course the roster is infested with VERY minor characters, so you can gamble for the ones you really want.

Or hope you can unlock them in event story cutscenes…. some of which even when available will wall off content with 14 hours timers, like the Stardust Crusaders one, because the game starts off with Part 5, Golden Wind, the Jo Jo series taking place in Neaples, Italy and following Giorno Giovanna, the son of Dio Brando, as he fights to overthrow the mafia’s mysterious boss.

Hope you already know everything JoJo because the game never really explains shit, despite starting from Part 5….of 9.

While it mostly looks quite decent, it goes the extra mile of not just reusing frames from the anime for the story scenes (alongside recreating them in various styles), fairly common in itself, but sometimes passing those through an IA filter, making them look worse upon any scrutiny, too.

Its so utterly generic that you could have EASILY slapped another anime license/skin unto it… and i’ll just say it looks identical to a bootleg Jujutsu Kaisen mobile game, Jujutsu Malevolent Shrine.

[EXPRESSO] Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma (2026) | QueerAngela

Freshly released in theathers here, Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma is a classic slasher for the ages… as in, this age, the modern age.

Kris is a queer horror director known for a Psycho remake from the prospective of the shower curtains, that has been tasked with directing the reboot of 80s cult slasher series Camp Miasma (a sort of Friday The 13^th crossed with Sleepaway Camp entity), as she is a notorious superfan, but she struggles under the pressure of her own ambition to do something fresh with it, and especially because of the studio push-back to have actress that played thef inal girl in the original film, Billy Presley, come back.

Kris is adamant about it, and decides to meet up nonetheless with Billy, whom has been pretty much living as a recluse in the same place where the first Camp Miasma film was shot….

Yes, it’s indeed a meta-horror that works both as tribute and satire of the 80s slasher, it’s significance today, how the sexual themes reflected anxieties of the era and how this applies in an age where sexuality is very different, especially from a queer prospective, but while it delivers a lot of kills, gore and hilariously excessive geysers of bloods, and it’s more heavy on comedy that you’d expect.

And while it does have an unique “meta twist” that isn’t quite what you’d expect, it’s also fairly straighforward – and deliberately unsubtle- in tackling the genre as a way of sexual self-discovery and emancipation, sold thanks to the amazing performances of Gillian Anderson and Hannah Heinbinder.

Though at times the pacing could be better, and frankly i would have preferred if it ended a scene earlier than it does, but still, Teenage, Sex And Death At Camp Miasma is quite good.

Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I make no secret that i veheemently hate Shark Exorcist, i’ve always hated it well before i re-reviewed it for the blog “shark month”, and while i’m not making a “Worst 10 Shark Films” listicle because there’s always something worse i haven’t seen or that just released that would make that obsolete very fast, if i did, i would put Shark Exorcist as the reigning champion of shit.

Not that Donald Farmer was ever a good director, he always made trashy B to Z movies, but this one i believe was maliciously made extra bad by design, but then again having 40 years of experience in trash cinema doesn’t guarantee you’ll retain any know-how, or care to even put on a semblance of any competence you’ve gathered, as it was frankly barely indistiguishable from crap like Jurassic Shark, made obviously by a bunch of kids with a camera and zero experience.

Again, it took some nega-effort to make Mark Polonia look like Spielberg in comparison, but Shark Exorcist was indeed something special, not your everyday homegrown Z-grade shark trash.

So when i learned last year Donald put out a sequel, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters back in 2024, 10 years after the first one…. i knew i had to cover it, and i’m not gonna let it fester too much in my mind this time, we’re doing this now so we can move on.

Here i’d discuss the plot but we already did the bit on the review of the first Shark Exorcist, which had a premise, an idea of a plot, not really an actual plot besides the first 5 minutes, or any actual structure, just random padding, “plot lines” that go nowhere, even calling it a “narrative gibberish” it’s too kind in hindsight, since it honestly doesn’t even have an ending or a proper resolution…. it just kinda stops, and reaches a runtime of 74 minutes just because of random post-credit padding.

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Netflix’s One Piece (Season 2) Into The Grand Line (2026) [REVIEW] | Baroque Works Begins

As promised, here is my review for the second season of Netflix’s One Piece live action series, which i now fully realize isn’t gonna be a few season thing, as in, it became clear it wasn’t after the first was a success, and the second too, but i guess it took time for me to properly sink in we’re gonna have One Piece live action material… and that i was actually looking forward to it.

If you told me this even just 10 years ago, i would have spat or laughed in your face, but what can i say, the future can be a foreign country as the past, in its own way.

Season One of “Netflix Piece” was indeed the freak surprise of that year for me, i’ve talked about that enough in the old review, so time to move on!

This second season (after a handy recap of Season 1) basically covers the Alabasta/Arabasta arc from the beginning in Rogue Town, and then up to Drum Kingdom…but as with the first season, this live action adaptation does make a notable amount of changes and additions.

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