Global Defence Force Tactics PS2 [REVIEW] | The GDF Deploys!

After unexpected delays, we’re tackling the final EDF title yet to be featured for Summer Of EDF, Global Defence Force Tactics on the mighty Playstation 2.

What happens when your budget game does well, you make a sequel, and since EDF 2 did sell very well in Japan for its budget price range in the Simple series catalogue, being the only title of the Simple label to sell over 200.000 copies, D3 figured to capitalize on its success (again, those today are small numbers but EDF was also sold as a budget title in Japan) and basically had a quick Tactics style spin-off made.

And keeping up with the previous marketing choices, EDF 2 Tactics would only be localized for PAL territories, as Global Defence Force Tactics.

Yep, they even kept the British spelling of “Defense”, it’s not a typo, it’s still a bit weird, but i guess why change it for a spin-off back then, would have made things even more confusing.

Also, as a personal note, i’m glad i bought this years ago, as now an used PAL copy asks for 50 bucks mininum, and it was already kinda rare before, being a very late PS2 release under the Essential Games budget release label used by D3 Publisher/Namco Bandai in Europe.

That said can actually see why you would made this, since the EDF series does lend itself to also become a tactical turn based rpg, this one developed by thinkarts, a very niche studio that worked under D3 doing other tactical games… and a PS2 port of that visual novel with Tomak: Save The Earth, you know, the “i can’t believe it’s not a Suda 51 joint” literal potted head of a goddess you have to literally nurture?

Which was actually rereleased globally and was a freebie on the Epic Game Store, this isn’t an ad (i don’t play Fornite and i think most people use their platform just to get free games, i buy games on Steam and Gog for PC), just an amazing set of coincidences.

Continua a leggere

August Augurs, the Fall-Winter schedule and changes in 2027

As a reminder, the blog will go on the usual break on the 16th, and it will resume full activity on September 1st.

As for the remaining august days, all the planned full lenght reviews, though in terms of One Piece content, only the review of Season 2 of the live action Netflix adaptation of One Piece will release as planned, sadly the one for Gigant Battle won’t be ready in time, and i’ve decided not to rush it.

EXPRESSO reviews for Hokum and Spider Man: Brand New Day will arrive soon enough on the blog.

The main big change i wanna announce is, after deliberation (and also because i’m between jobs now) i’ve decided to dedicate myself more about writing down a book about giant monster cinema (and maybe move into video content stuff) in the coming future, so next year the schedule will be more or less done on a “when and if i can” basis, i’ll still make some sort of plan but basically i will allow myself to wing it or scrap things.

This won’t affect much or at all the schedule for September and up to Dicember-early January, as most of the work has already been done or is already on its way to be completed, or already “set in stone” either way.

I’ll still work on the blog and keep updating it, and this doesn’t mean i will sunset older rubric, mainstays like Giant Monster March, The Spooktacular Eight, Musou/Melee May will remain and so on, EXPRESSO either.

Also, i’m gonna address it here before i forget: while i doubt we’ll even see it here in theathers before October (if at all), i won’t be covering Eli Roth’s Ice Cream Man remake in any form, as he’s been using GenAI shit in it, and not for minute details either, plus i learned in the fallout that he’s even more of a piece of shit i’ve though/remembered, and it’s not like we’re gonna miss much anyway, given his track record of “quality” (Thanksgiving was quite fun, admittedly) and the movie reviewing poorly even ignoring Eli Roth himself and the GenAI sequences…. we ain’t gonna miss out on anything of value, let’s be real, i’m surprised he still pretends to be relevant.

Kandagawa Jet Girls PS4 [REVIEW] | Censorship Waves

As promised last summer when we reviewed the Kandagawa Jet Girls TV series, we’re finishing up this niche multimedia series by talking about the game of the same name, released westward digitally on PS4 and PC via Steam.

As with most of these niche (and honestly non-niche as well) anime multimedia franchises, both the game and TV series exist as their own semi-separate thing, despite having the same basic premise and, to promote each other, basically, and this also using some lifted sequences from the anime.

Though in this specific case you really could have guessed this was based on a videogame, since the whole setup is so light on story, but heavy on “plot”, and just the idea itself of mixing shooting into jet ski racing is very videogamey, borne from the need to spice up the basic formula and find a way to incorporate clothing destruction into this one too, as it’s the brainchild of Kenichiro Taniguchi, the creator of Senran Kagura.

Of course it’s him. Though this time is developed by Shade Inc (the Bullet Girls series, Gun Gun Pixies, Samurai Maiden) and Honey Parade Games, the latter also having co-developed the Splatoon-clone of Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash, so it fits thematically in the “literal wetworks und anime lesbians” sense.

Just this time with the framing of a Wave Race style game.

Continua a leggere

Bad CGI Sharks (2019) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

With a title like that, you know you’re either in for something that will serve as a perfect snapshot of the era, or you’re gonna eat some rotten bait, punished for willingly walking into an ACME trap.

I do like how to the point it is, like, you already know how crap these modern shark movies are, we’re gonna come clean and maybe lower your expectations even further to the point you may actually like our film, if it can actually somehow rise above being another self-deprecating joke stretched to feature lenght runtime?

This one was also surprisingly elusive since it never streamed on something available here, and out of pure stubborness i ended up importing the US DVD release, i guess Wild Eye Releasing has an exclusive deal of sorts just with Mark Polonia.

That said, this is in a way the “bad shark movie to end all shark movies”, despite some issues we’ll go over, after we go over the plot, because Bad CGI Sharks actually has one.

Continua a leggere

Sand Land manga [REVIEW] | ♪ ‘Cause Beezlebub ♪

Akira Toriyama needs no introduction, but most of his non-Dragon Ball or Dr. Slump related works do often fall through the cracks, so to speak…. so one wonders why the hell in 2023 and 2024 there was a sudden deluge of adaptations of his Sand Land manga series.

Even here we got a new edition for the manga as a small volume or a deluxe big one inclusive of extra material, alongside the film, the anime series on Disney Plus and even a videogame for PS4/PS5/X-Box Series and PC was made.

It wasn’t even an anniversary thing as Sand Land was released in 2000.

I guess why not, 2023 was kind of a slump for most DB related projects, mostly leading up to the announcement of Sparking Zero, and i guess why not, just using the Akira Toriyama name ensures sales, and unlike most of his other short stories that were eventually compiled in volumes alongside other one-shots (like Pola & Roid, for example), people knew of Sand Land existing, as the “desert manga with demons and tanks made by the Dragon Ball guy”.

Sure as hell was more well known than Nekomajin.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Metal Slug Rush iOS | Survivors’ Front

I would like to thank the new SNK for choosing that subtitle, as it really is a gift to “do a gaming journalism” on, especially since it got released not so long after being announced alongside a supposed big return of the series on consoles and PC.

I wasn’t even sure if bother with this, since i don’t need 300 words to review or described Metal Slug Rush, as this is indeed the expected type of experience for a mobile spin-off of an old series, as in, clone what is popular at the moment, what’s easy and dandy to copy-emulate.

In this case, it’s Vampire Survivors, whose formula is now the go-to game type, i mean, they made a Hololive themed one, even that horror comedy, Renfield, got a “Survivors-like” tie-in game, and there’s even a Jujutsu Kaisen game with the VS formula coming up this year,

It is shameless, and it doesn’t really add anything of its own to the formula beside the fact the main weapons are guns and hence long range, plus as every MS mobile spin off ever released (aside from Metal Slug Awakening), it’s basically a giant self-asset flip as it reuses the old sprites A LOT, heck, they even recycled artwork of the Instructor from that Mission School extra mode.

But frankly MS fans might enjoy the old pixel art better, i sure do, and to be honest, it’s a decent VS clone, it’s alright, considered its a F2P gacha thing, one that opts more to force grinding/levelling gear more than other, and at least it doesn’t try to lull you into the extended early period where you’re given enough currency and materials to progress, but instead makes it clear fairly fast that there’s convenience and wares to be had if you have coin.

Disgaea Mayhem PS5 [DEMO] | FIRST IMPRESSIONS

So, yeah, NIS hasn’t been too vocal about it, but yes, they are doing basically “Disgaea Musou/Warriors”, just in-house, and it comes out on the 23th, in a couple of weeks, i’ve actually preordered the Limited Edition this time, but i’ve seen the demo pop up, might as well give it a whirl.

And let’s just say i wasn’t impressed… actually i was baffled, but for different reasons that you might think.

The reasons being that this is an AWFUL demo.

Like, it’s become clear NIS has no faith in this game, but a demo like this feels just short of self-sabotage, like they actually want this to fail? What the fuck is the point of even throwing this together?

The demo already befuddles on the first impact because there is no story or cutscenes at all, you’re thrown into an empty little hub with a single Prinny to talk to in order to access the three levels/stages on offer; so already if you wanted Disgaea’s style of comedy you’ll have to check the inventory for the “demo weapons, not for sale” bit in the info boxes.

What the demo does have is three special demo stages, but they sure don’t feel special, they are of slightly rising difficulty, but barely so, and they are so short that i was able to see all the content in the demo in about 15 minutes.

Some demos give away too much, but the one for Disgaea Mayhem is exactly the opposite.

Continua a leggere

EX VITA manga [REVIEW] | Ghost In The Shiny Metal Ass

I’ll admit, there is something sadistic about going back before the Crunchyroll Original anime adaptation of a frankly mediocre GITS rip-off made sure EX-ARM was a name known for all the worst reasons.

Yet, curiously while searching for more used volumes of the EX-ARM manga, i realized there was actually a previous iteration, written and illustrated by Shinya Komi alone this time (so writer HiRock wasn’t involved yet), simply called EX-VITA.

Yeah, eventually (roughly 2-3 years later) they remade EX-VITA as EX-ARM, which ran for Shueisha’s Grand Jump and Shonen Jump from early-2015 till mid-2019, and eventually ended, rereleased then over 14 volumes/tankobons.

I do wanna eventually cover that, but i figured we took a look at EX-VITA first, also to celebrate the new Ghost In The Shell anime launching on Amazon Video… well, yesterday (or today, in some regions)!

It’s gonna be a relatively quick review since this original iteration of the concept ran for just 2 volumes.

Continua a leggere

A Murcielago anime in this economy, Steel Ball Run actual release schedule, the new GITS anime, Tanya Degurechaff is back, AOT 3 and the Mini Summer Of EDF delay

So, Murcielago is a manga about a super serial killer woman with 715 homicides to her name, Komori (she the titular “bat”, since “murcielago” means exactly that, but in Spanish) gets her death penalty halted due to the city being overrun with crime, and Komori gets into assisting the Japanese police in tackling other murderers and criminals that the regular police force fails to catch, helped by the expert driver Hinako and the daughter of a yakuza boss

Komori is also a super lesbian and she basically tries to get into the pants of the many extrabosomed female characters, and even without her there’s a lot of nudity just shy of scissoring because i don’t think you could get away with that on Shonen Gangan. not quite.

It’s delectable action yuri exploitation trash, i love it, i’ve been following and buying the volumes for the past years, but given there’s so much premarital selbian gex and hyperviolence, i never really expected it to get an anime adaptation, heck, it’s ridiculous how much difficult is to see new horror anime exist, which is why i’m not really expecting a Franken Fran adaptation or something.

Yet, a few days ago a teaser trailer for the Murcièlago anime just popped up, and yes, my birthday was earlier this year, but whatever, it may be on time for that since is slated for a generic “2027 release” and i guess will stream on HIDIVE in US territories, we don’t have that here..

Continua a leggere

Slugs The Movie (1988) [REVIEW] | The Authority To Declare “Happy Birthday”

To complete the Naruto-esque animal trifecta goin on this month, we’re doing the “slug one”.

Well, re-doing, i’ve reviewed this.. more than 10 years ago, so i’m gonna give it a fresh rewatch, even if i do kinda remember some of its ultra-ridiculous scenes, it’s not every day you see shit like a killer slug being accidentally sliced and served into a salad, causing a man to vomit blood and overact so fiercely it could chew the scenery faster the aforemention, doped up aggressive slugs.

In a way it was bound to be a cult classic, since it’s directed by Juan Piquer Simon, a spanish exploitation film director that by then already directed not only the grindhouse slasher cult film Pieces, but also the superhero knock-off of Supersonic Man and the infamous ET rip-off, Pod People/Extraterrestrial Visitors, which was later made a cult classic when Mistery Science Theather got his hands on it, spoofing many scenes and in turn making that episode a cult classic of its own, with the “idiot control now” spoof song and the “Trumpy” riffing making it a must-see episode.

And no, the english title (the original Spanish one being “Slugs: Muerte Viscosa”, translating to “Slugs: Slimy Death”) of Slugs The Movie is oddly accurate, this is based on a book of the name same by Shaun Hutson that released in 1982.

in a way it was a well overdue (yet fitting in a stupid way) addition to the killer animals subgenre, since Frogs released a decade earlier, but unlike that one were the frogs were just one of the animals revolting against the humans, this is mostly about the titular animal, slugs, which are indeed an even more ridiculous creature to repurpose for a “nature revenge” B-movie.

Maybe even more than worms, like, regular ones, but i’m not gonna talk about Squirm.

Not today, at least.

Continua a leggere