[EXPRESSO] Splatoon Raiders NSWITCH2| The Machinist Of Joy

While Splatoon 2 was the only multiplayer competitive game i actually cared “getting gud” at for a while, i also loved the campaigns, as the single player challenges and obstacles kept reminding me of classic Ratchet & Clank games, so i hoped they would eventually do a single player focused spin-off (Splatoon 3 didn’t grab me as much and so i kinda stopped playing it on the regular after a while)… and last year they did announced it, and now here it is, with Splatoon Raiders, the first game of the series to be on Switch 2 (as a console exclusive).

It’s a Splatoon 3 spin-off that has the Deep Cut trio go to inspect a mysterious new island on Salmonoid territory in order to search for treasures, only for the helicopter to crash. They manage to survive on a rig, find a robot that sees tailored made to explore and loot the wilderness of this archipelago, so – with the help of the pilot – decide to keep searching for more treasures as benevolent thieves, hoping the booty will help pay out the immense debt Splatville has amassed.

Gameplay wise, it’s actually more than just them repurposing the Salmon Run mode from Splatoon 2 and 3, it uses that as base but eventually becomes its own thing, while keeping some “trials/challenges” testing-teaching how to use both old and new weapons and subweapons alike, which now can be combined and dual wielded depending on your playstile; plus it looks great, can be fairly challenging and there’s always something rewarding you, in terms of items, gear pieces, custom modifiers, materials for upgrading the base and obtaining new facilities.

Honestly this is exactly what i wanted and expected from a single player focused (though there is local and online co-op) Splatoon game.

[EXPRESSO] Sacrifice (2025) | Beer On The Sun

After debutting September 2025 at the Telluride Film Festival (to arguably very little acclaim), Sacrifice, the latest film from director Romain Gavrais (Athena) hit theathers here, to also very little fanfare or much in the way of marketing, despite having indeed an all stars cast of recognizable Hollywood actors

The premise sees a film star, Mike Tyler (Chris Evans), try to make a come back by partecipating in a gala full of powerful people, influencers and the likes, takin place in a old cave-temple situated in a Greek island , with the idea of promoting an enviromental positive message, only for a group of pagan cult terrorists (their young leader played by Anna Taylor Joy) that believe a nearby volcano will erupt, causing an extinction level event, and that the only way to advert that and save humanity requires sacrificing three people.

Mike inadvertedly gets imbroiled into their plans, thinking that this is some sort of performance or that he can get away with it, or captivated because he almost shares the same ideals.

Sacrifice is an interesting idea for a ecosatire drama-comedy about the performative lies of the elite that swears this time he won’t rape the Earth for profit, of “greenwashing” and so on, but after a very good first half that has you intrigued in where the plot’s gonna go… the answer is sadly up its own arse, really, just plodding towards its own premise without really doing nothing of substance with it, as it’s all mostly an exercise in stylistical mixture that doesn’t work out, as it lacks actual political commentary, doesn’t actually develops its own themes, and just feel empty.

It’s not exactly “boring” but i won’t lie, this is a movie held together mostly due to its great performances, though not for lack of trying.

Great White Death (1981) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

The frenzy was immediate, the clones numerous and fast, sometimes bothering to swap the shark for some other animals, waterbound or not.

But the mid-70s were also the period for exploitation cinema blooming into grindhouse theathers and drive-ins, and among them there was also the “Mondo movie” craze… well, it was that trend of exploitation still surviving almost 2 decades after the 1962 film Mondo Cane (an italian idiom translating roughly to “Doggone World/The World’s Gone To The Dogs”).

While the cannibal craze was indeed at its peak, with good ol’ Cannibal Holocaust releasing just 1 year prior, director and producer Jean-Patrick Lebel figured you could mix the “killer shark” and “shockumentary” subgenre in one, so the world was given Great White Death.

And you know it’s gonna be a good one when they have not one but two different title “sequences” that still use the same title.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (2025) | Enemies Of Reality

Finally hitting theathers here, Gore Verbinski’s latest film is the madcap scifi action comedy that combines a lot of modern scifi staples and starts off as any proper film does: in a Los Angeles diner where a hobo-looking man with a detonator walks in loudly demanding attention.

He proclaims to be a time traveller, on his 117^th loop to the past, there to enlist the patrons to fight against a rogue IA that in the future will cause an apocalypse, to form a ragtag group of clearly improptu warriors for the cause, with everything against them, and it not just skeptics, social network brainrotted teens, but also frigging algorhythm-born monstrosities that will stand in their desperate quest to save humanity from its own creation, or give it a chance in doing so.

While the main quest takes place overnight, the movie gives us flashbacks that brought the “time warriors” on that fateful moment and help flesh out this not that “overlyfictional” or “fantastic” modern dystopia, deliberately contrasting with the vague retro stylings of the plot, since it imagines an IA that can do more than hallucinate bullshit and badly regurgitate stuff, so much it basically – kinda – led humanity to the ending of Enslaved Odissey To West (minus the Journey To West elements).

More importantly, it’s a really fun and funny action comedy that not only entertains (and shows usa Gore Verbinski in peak form), doesn’t just go “new technology bad” but actually tackles the modern fears and issue rising from people using technology as a religion in itself to deliberately reject reality, dump any responsability or consequences from failure, and the creeping nature of the new menace, the new vampire they basically invited in, in a nihilistic, apathetic abandon of choice.

The ending is pretty good too.

Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Masters Of The Universe (2026) | The Barbarian Legend Of Big McLargehuge

Ah, yes, the new He-Man movie, i say if i actually grew up with the cartoon, or even saw the old 1987 live action adaptation with Dolph Lungren…. i did not.

I absorbed some He-Man knowledge through memes and Robot Chicken sketches, and i did grow up with the original TMNT, i know this “multimedia franchise-empire ment mainly to sell toys” tango very well, so why not?

The plot it’s an origin story where a very young Prince Adam is sent to Earth by his mother to escape the armies of the evil Skeletor invading the planet Eternia, entrusted with a magic sword, and 15 years later as a man he comes back tp his home planet to become the hero of legend he was destined to be, He-Man, and vanquish’s Skeletor and his minions for good.

It’s Superman meets Star Wars with a vague 80s PG-13 barbarian-medieval theming, with very little distinctive and a lot borrowed from the aforementioned franchises… and Marvel, more accurately trying to ape Gunn’ Guardian of The Galaxy trilogy, with very middling results since it can’t committ proper to be “Marvel quippy” nor sincere about its inherent sillyness, and tone comes off as undecisive and confused, almost as if the four writers were actively at war with each other.

It’s not horrible, mind you, there’s some simplistic entertaiment to be had, there is, despite these issues and other like some odd castin, i honestly found it enjoyable, the action fun enough, but… this really shouldn’t be 2 hours and 20 minutes long, it tries to cram too much stuff into this runtime and the result is that it’s bloated despite very little plot going for it.

It’s definitely not the worse movie to have an Amazon van in it, you can quote me on that.

International Workers’ Day Break

While we are ready to start off Melee May, today i’m gonna take a break since it’s International Worker’s Day and all.

So consider giving my EXPRESSO review of The Devil Wears Prada 2 a read, if you so desire, and since we’re on topic, no, i will not see nor review the Micheal Jackson biopic, i really don’t care, especially since it’s from the same producer of the Bohemian Rhapsody film, pity because i do like MJ.

i will be reviewing the second new Mortal Kombat film, Mortal Kombat 2, though, not on day one, but that EXPRESSO review is coming.

See you tomorrow!

[EXPRESSO] Keeper (2025) | ♬ Go to the woods and see ♬

After Longlegs and The Monkey, Oz Perkins is back with a new horror film (releasing just 2 days ago here), Keeper, but i’ve never heard much… well, anything about it, ill or good, but it might be me accidentally missing coverage, wouldn’t be the first time.

So i went in blind… and i kinda get why this didn’t generate much buzz, maybe, but first the plot.

A couple spends their anniversary weekend in a secluded cabin in the woods, and once there strange things start happening, revealing the house’s dark secrets..

I don’t think Keeper is a bad film, at all, but i’m willing to call it Oz Perkins first “trip up”, it is disappointing, because even if the final twist pays off, makes the build up worth it for an interesting turn… it doesn’t change that it has to do so with a character explaining the lore to us, instead of you known, just showing us, since it’s a movie and all of that, plus it it intriguing but nothing special enough to balance out and gliss over the fact the build up (and the premise in itself) seems to be made irritating and generic on purpose with how the cliches are placed.

Yes, obviously to play with audiences’ expectations (and with the horror archetype of the “cabin in the woods”), and it does work, but the story could have been more cohesive, or have people invested more by the narrative itself instead of the deliberate bold faced deception that also saps any mystery the story could have had when the loredump drops, to say nothing of how some subplots are simply kinda forgotten by the end.

It’s still far from unwatchable, mind you, thanks in no small part to Maslany’s great performance as Liz, but it’s also disappointing.

The Netflix’s One Piece Season 2 review delay of sorts

I was planning of doing a full review for the second season of the One Piece live action series that drops tomorrow, scheduled to release by the end of the month, but due the anime new scheduling and no news about the supposed new film in the works, i’d figured we’ll do a full lenght review of Netflix’s One Piece in August, which is basically “One Piece Month” by now, since i don’t wanna rush this one and i have more pressing IRL things to deal with.

I’ll have an EXPRESSO review of the second season out in a few days, instead, we will still close March on something cartoony anyway, as you will see.

[EXPRESSO] Hamnet (2025) | The House That Will Built

Chloe Zhao (Nomadland, Eternals) is back for an adaptation of Maggie O’ Farrell book of the same name, a semi-fictionalized retelling of the lives of William Shakespeare and his wife Agnes.

Agnes is a peculiar woman for 16^th centhury Stratford: she is skilled with herbs, animals and ointments, she often walks alone in the forest, which makes the town gossip of her as a “witch”. One day she is noticed by Will, a man teaching latin to sons to repay the family’s debt, who falls in love with her, is reciprocated, and despite Will’s family being against it, the two marry, and have three sons: Susanna, Judith, and a boy, Hamnet (which we’re told by text in the prologue was equivalent of “Hamlet” in that day).

Though fate has it in for the young Hamnet, which contracts the plague and dies, further straining the relationship between Agnes and William, the latter which is often away to pursue his budding theathrical career in London…

I think there’s some irony in how the more this tries to work in the famous Shakespeare lines and have this whole familial tragedy serving as what would inspire William Shakespeare to write Hamlet… the more it feels oddly “forced”, almost using the idea as a crutch.

This in a movie where William Shakespeare isn’t actually the protagonist, which is fine, since this IS Agnes’ story by far and large, i get that, but it’s also undeniably way stronger when it’s just being this familial period drama about the loss of a son to illness with some touches of a pastoral magic reality, incarnated by Agnes herself, the “forest witch”.

It just makes the final act a bit wobbly (almost clumsy in how direct it is), but still amounts to Hamnet being a very good film, nonetheless.

Until Dawn PS4 [REVIEW] | Ravenous Nation

Once every console generation, someone reinvents Dragon Lair with better graphics and various levels of pretentiousness.

This time around Supermassive Games did, propelled by the popularity of the garbage David “EMOTIONS” Cage/Quantic Dream peddled to a fairly ignorant audience, with Until Dawn, followed by The Impatient and then The Quarry, which i feel also inspired Namco Bandai to get a slice of this with their The Dark Pictures series.

Looking at the original PS4 game because at the time of writing (and most likely posting as well) i don’t have a PS5 hence i can’t play the remake/remaster they did for it, and honestly i stopped to try tracking down the “Extended Edition” since – apparently – it had just a couple of very minor, inconsequiential scenes as DLC content to redeem via a code on a voucher that has by now expired, and you can’t even buy it on PSN, so sod it.

Continua a leggere