Ah yes, “snow zombies”. We had swamp ones too, so why not, but we’re not talking about the Dead Snow movies, love ‘em but a bit too obvious, so let’s scratch another “undead itch” with the alpine variety offered by the…..not very discussed at all Attack of The Lederhosen Zombies.

Shame, because it’s a nice little horror comedy that has pretty much all the elements to make it a cult film, including gore, lots of gore with surprisingly good practical effects, and a premise that’s about as silly as the movie actually is.

Also, no, despite the italo-german setting, it’s not the beer that transforms people into the undead (the videogame Zombeer did that a few months before this film, btw), stop assuming and let me explain the very simple premise.

Dinosaurs don’t kill people. People with dinosaurs kill people.

Another moving argument in the endless “dinosaurs carry law” circle of debate, fed to fatten the wallets of the dinosaur manufacturers. Or another cheap sci-fi flick about killer dinosaurs created in lab because some rich idiot had to burn some money in research for new bioweapons.

It’s also another Britishi production, as you can tell right away by the actors’ accents, them talking money in terms of “pounds”, with an opening scene about scientists 3D printing a dinosaur… which already sets up the “stupid” standard skyrocketing, as if most of the scientist acting with their mouth frozen in half-smiles wasn’t enough, and the special effects being so cheap, they just throw a “decapited” mannequin head with a wig on from off-screen to avoid showing anything.

While looking at the trailer for this one in the “upcoming on Netflix” section, i was pretty sure that there was a slightly older chinese animated movie called “White Snake” i’ve seen some photos of, and yes…. it’s from the same team, but i haven’t seen that movie yet, so i’ll judge this one on its own.

The plot it’s about a warrior, Xiao Qing, trying to save her sister from a powerful monk known as Fahai, and founding herself transported to a post-apocalyptic dystopia, where she meets a mysterious man that has forgotten about his previous life, known as Asura, and struggles to survive the incredible hazards that continually bombard that world.

That’s the basic gist the Netflix page gives to the plot, and even if i didn’t knew of White Snake, the way the movie starts makes it feel like a sequel to something (and yes, it’s a sequel to that) that would help contextualize some of the stuff that happens in the prologue, but the “isekai device” make so you can follow the story of this one just fine, and the blend of Mad Max inspired post-apocalyptic warfare and mystical elements makes for an interesting scenario.

One that’s also more “western friendly”, i guess a given since this is a Netflix esclusive, and definitely not an animated film for kids.

Honestly, i was surprised by the top notch CG, the slick animation, plot is quite nice and the world is interesting, lots of well directed action, great visuals, and a lot happening at a pretty great pace too. The characters also end up being quite solid as well, even if some are just decent but so frustratingly close to being even better, same for the solid but sometimes not amazing designs.

Still a pretty good film, recommended.

I’m not gonna question if someone was actually looking forward to this Army Of The Dead prequel, because that one got a divisive reception, and there’s always something that appeals to someone.

Not that the very idea of a prequel to Army Of The Dead is bad, so let’s go over the plot.

Army Of Thieves (directed by Matthias Schweighöfer) takes place 6 years before the event of Army Of The Dead, and it focuses on the character of “Dieter”, the safe cracker extraordinarie, who starts by making Youtube videos on the subject…. and get no online attention, until it’s invited to an underground safecracking tournament by a mysterious commenter.

The mysterious figure turns out to be Gwendolyne, a jewel thief that eyed him for his crew in order to make an incredible triple heist by cracking the first three safes done by legendary locksmith Wagner, all named after the major musical dramas of his homonymous composer.

This is not a bad movie, at all, it’s quite entertaining, the acting it’s good, the action it’s funthere’s some flair and wit to the script, Dieter it’s a lovable nerdy twink, and surprinsigly the other characters are quite likable… but it’s another heist movie, the rom-com bits are the weakest parts and you definitely feel its 2 hours runtime.

It’s a fun heist movie, though, and also one of those “detachable” prequels that can be enjoyed on its own… since it’s barely connected to Army Of The Dead, by design, and honestly i kinda enjoyed this more, it grew on me despite not really being enamored with the idea, i guess since Army Of Thieves it’s more focused on what it wants without trying to juggle 3 movies at once.

Arguably longer than needed and not “perfect”, but a fun watch nonetheless.

Ah, yes, the first and only killer piranha movie directed by James “James Cameron Presents James Cameron In Association With James Cameron” Cameron, here at his directorial debut , after years of working as a special effects artist under good ol Roger Corman (who else?), stars Tricia O’ Neill and Lance Henriksen, who would later appeared in the original Terminator film and Aliens, with the script by then also newbie Charles H. Eglee – credited as H. A. Milton- better know nowadays for his work on series like The Shield, Dexter and Dark Angel.

You gotta start somewhere, and in this case that happens to be the sequel to 1978’s Joe Dante directed Piranha, in what would become a full series, with a 1995 remake simply called “Piranha” and another, looser remake with Piranha 3D, which also had a sequel. Not bad for what was conceived as a Jaws knock-off with a degree of self-awareness.