[EXPRESSO] If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025) | My (Speed) Tube

Definitely an A24 release, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a classic tale for the ages.

Linda isn’t just a mother, she is a psychotherapist that has to tend to her daughter, whose eating disorder has her eating through a tube in her stomach, bringing her daily to a daycare center, while her husband is constantly away due to his job as a ship captain.

She is already stretched beyond her limits, but then one day their apartment’ roof cracks open due to a water pipe collapsing, creating a huge hole and flooding their home, forcing Linda and her daughter to move to a squallid motel in the time being.

Making things even worse, Linda is aggravated by not only becoming even more of a drunkard, repairmen that vanish hence extending their stay at the motel, the medical staff attending to her daughter trying to get Linda to committ properly, one of her patients coming off even crazier than before, among other things pushing Linda well beyond any semblance of a breaking point long since gone.

It’s a fever dream depiction of parental stress, but while Linda is gunning for the “worst mother of the year” award hard as fuck, is also impossible to not emphatize with this woman that is really trying but its also unbelievably flawed and a complete mess of a parental figure, tearing herself apart trying to still cling to reason despite her destructive tendencies, commenting in how often even the safety nets for mental health issues are just not enough.

There are is some horror like-imagery, i guess because it’s a A24 film, though the film it’s just an almost surreal (but not quite) fever dream, an uncomfortable cavalcade into disaster that’s hard to look away from, thanks to Rose Byrne’s incredible performance.

[EXPRESSO] Caught Stealing (2025) | Idles Hands

There some irony in a title like that for a filmmaker that already borrowed heavily from other, better directors, but i can’t deny i do like Arofonosky movies (The Whale was great), and i was surprised to see this new one, Caught Stealing, kinda sneak by into theathers.

So instead of taking “cues” from Satoshi Kon this time it goes for a more popular type of cinema, a crime caper set in New York, a 90s NY of people that can barely make rent but will proclaim their love for the San Francisco Giants, as it’s all framed with the titular baseball slang term i had to look up, as the protagonist, Hank, is a generally decent normal guy that could have been a baseball star if a car crash didn’t nip that in the bud.

Hanks calls his mother daily, has a semi-relationship with a nurse, and wants nothing to do with crime, but after accepting to take care of his punk neighbor’s cat while he’s away, he ends up unadvertly dragged into the seedy criminal underbelly due to some very bad luck and a series of absurd circumstances.

This time it feels like Arofonosky wanted to do a Cohen Brothers style crime caper (thought it’s based on a novel of the same name by Charlie Huston) while also retaining his usual style…. and it doesn’t really work until the last act, trying to be unpredictable and marrying very gritty violence with almost slapstick style comedy, coming off as kind of confused than anything, with its various ideas and tones having spent most of the movie fighting each other they do click the end, a little too late.

Terrific performances (especially by the supporting cast) help one wanting to see it through, and it’s not bad…. just kinda baffling.

[EXPRESSO] The Whale (2022) | Smiling Friend

Given the rounds this movie did on Cannes and signaled Fraser return after his career got curbstomped for daring to report abuse, i need not to introduce The Whale (based on a play by Samuel D. Hunter, whom also curated the script for the movie), or his director, Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For A Dream, Black Swan, Mother!, The Wrestler).

Nor to say i was indeed looking forward to this film since announced, with high expectations.

A comedy-drama about an english teacher named Charlie, suffering from acute obesity, as he struggles to do his job remotely, fend off the constant pain of existence caused by his condition, and tries to reconcile with his estranged daughter, whom he abandoned at the age of 8 to live with his lover Alan, trying to win her back somehow, while also being visited by a young missionary boing belonging to an armageddon type of christian sect.

So it deals with some extremely heavy themes of abandoment, death, unconventional love, manipulation and sickness, and even if you argue this one of those movie engineered to make the lead win awards for “best performance”…. this is indeed what one would call the performance of a lifetime, and it does not undermine shit when the movie at the core it’s such a brilliant, scathing flurry of emotionally heavy drama, equally brutal and sweet, with some sparse funny jokes that provide brief levity before ripping your ducts open wide once again, as the misery sinks deep and the plot sees the ambivalent characters scurry in and out the house where “the white whale” resides, revealing more and more traumatic sides of Charlie’s life.

It’s what one would call a real “tear jerker”, profoundly depressing and beautiful for it.

Really fucking good stuff, highly recommended, let’s put it this way.