Bunnyman AKA The Bunnyman Massacre (2011) [REVIEW] | The Ice Scream Bunny

Hold onto your bunns

Sometimes you get surprised by these low budget slasher flicks you can find on amazon for pennies. Sometimes.

But most of the times you get shit like The Bunnyman Massacre, which works quite hard to be really boring, given nobody expects too much out of a movie called “The Bunnyman Massacre” (technically just “The Bunnyman”, but the UK DVD title is better, and more appropriate, even if would become accidentally confusing), just some shlock for a movie night with friends, but at least entertaining shlock.

In case the title (or the title with a person in bunny costume holding a chainsaw on the cover) isn’t indicative enough, this is yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-off, one so damn cheap it skimps on showing gore. I could end the review here, but this one deserves a full “spanking”, and not just because i – somehow – expect to see Dead Alive/Braindead/Splatters levels and quality of gore.

But i was expecting to see some gore, instead of just cutting to shots that conveniently remove the need to show the gore, just blood splattered on a near surface. Not that you can tell much when the director decides you can see something this time around, in this low budget exploitation flick that sells itself on the fuckin gore. Budget isn’t always an excuse, but here is a combination of cheapness and incompetence, because it isn’t just the ridiculous way the movie sidesteps showing the kills and mutilations in any clear way that makes The Bunnyman Massacre so fuckin terrible.

It’s everything else being just as bad, if not somehow even worse. The script is a mess, starting out with a fake “snuff movie” prologue (filmed for the resolution of a Game Boy Advance, apparently), then trying to be like Duel, taking another pointless diversion, and then, almost at the 1 hour mark, turning into the movie it clearly wanted to be, with the cannibal family (with even a Chop Top look-a-like from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2). Not that the story makes any sense, as it meanders on and on, without any sense of pacing, reason or tension to be had, forcefully dragged around by the need to pad this shit somewhat near a 90 minutes runtime.

For example, the titular “Bunnyman” has no fuckin reason to wear a rabbit costume, and because this movie deserve it, i’m gonna spoil it what’s under that rabbit mask: a skinless brute that can’t talk and is basically brainless, just used by the main member of their family (like Leatherface). Why he wears a regular park mascotte bunny costume? Who knows? It’s not like this movie it’s interested in character development of any kind.

The Ice Cream Bunny was way scarier, at least get a Silent Hill 3 style rabbit costume, if you must go with this type of suit.

Then there’s the deadly speedball of atrocious acting, obvious continuity errors, bad audio mixing, so you either barely hear sentence fragments or get “ear raped” because one of the actors is shouting, and the volume decided to ramp up just for that, instead of making a character nearly inaudible. Not that the dialogue coming out from these horribly written, stupid characters is worth hearing, but it would be nice to have the option, instead of having to guess half the script.

The cherry on top is not the predictable ending with Bunnyman being still alive (there are two sequels, after all), but the ending credits, where you get another “mini movie”, which seems to be a 8mm home movie about the history of the cannibal family, and looks WAY more interesting than most of what is in the actual movie. Would have loved to see that movie instead, because it’s clear writer/director/producer/actor Carl Lindbergh genuinely loves Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but affection and good intention aren’t enough, clearly, given how this movie is such a perfect display of total incompentence in every single way, a frustrating and boring one as well.

Turns out there’s also a “Grindhouse Edition” (released on 2019), re-edited and with extra footage, and if anything it makes sense, because there’s ONLY room for improvement here.

And there are sequels. Oh yes.

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