[EXPRESSO] One Night Only (2026) | The Premarital Gex Purge

I was able to see a preview screening for this one, i was curious, as One Night Only has the unique hook of “What if The Purge was about fucking and framed as a quirky rom com?”.

It’s a ni– it’s an elevator pitch that gets you attention, but immediatly you wonder why is this not a dystopian thriller (or horror thriller), as it takes place in an America where they passed a ban on premarital sex, so single people now can copulate only 1 night of the year, with biochips on their arms to enforce compliance.

One guesses it doesn’t apply to non-hetero people, i do guess because we just have the lesbian roommate of the lead girl saying how this is “a thing for the straights”, not that there’s any thought about the terrifying implications of this (or how masturbation factors in), or any of its themes, as the focus is about Allie and Owen, one in search of romanticism during “Fuck Night”, the other having practically broke with her long time girlfriend hours before.

Even if you could ignore ALL OF THAT (and you won’t), the two leads really have little chemistry and you’ll wonder why in this context they didn’t immediatly fuck, not that you’ll care about these two milquetoast characters.

It’s both too heady and nowhere enough, as it wants to be just a casual meet-cute thing, but ultimately is an incredibly regressive, self-righteous, disgusting little film that’s sex-negative, yet wants to be a raunchy sex comedy…. without actually showing any nudity, that you’ll pine for the days of frigging Porky’s.

The movie itself literally says “being an incel is a badge of honor now”, just in case it didn’t already come off as fascist government propaganda selling “The Sex Purge” as a positive thing.

The Spooktacular Eight #15: Once Bitten (1985)

While we wait for the third Sonic The Hedgehog film to remind us that Jim Carrey still works because why wouldn’t he say no to Sega asking him to redo his old shtick… well, let’s go back to one of his earlier film for this year’s entry in old horror comedies that time forgot.

I could have reviewed instead The Silence Of The Hams, but we did revisit Dracula Dead And Loving it last years, so Mel Brooks and Ezio Greggio get a pass this year.

I actually haven’t seen nor heard of this one before doing some research, so serendipity today brought us to shine a spotlight on Jim Carrey’s early carriers, and it’s hard to go back even further than Once Bitten in terms of feature films, since this movie marked Carrey’s first major role ever, playing the innocent and naive high school student Mark Kendall, seduced in a Hollywood’s nightclub by a sultry countress, whom happens to be a four centhuries old vampire.

Why him? Well, in order to keep her youthful appearance (and immortality), she has to drink blood from a male virgin man 3 times by Halloween each year, which starts to become a issue, since its the 80s and this centuries old vampire countress figured it was best to settle in frigging California to satisfy this specific need. HM.

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The Spooktacular Eight #12: Microwave Massacre (1979)

There are many types of massacres.

You can opt for the classics of axe, chainsaw and proper sharp instruments that while not built for slaying the fellow man are indeed excellent for severing, cutting and shit like that.

Why not think outside the box… or inside the box, as in go for a power drill, a woodchipper, a nailgun or even just use all the things inside a toolbox?

Go cannibal while you’re at it.

I mean, this movie decided to do so but also title its massacre after a microwave… which isn’t the actual weapon of killing, while being pivotal to the protagonist’s agenda, after he uses a salt grinder to kill his nagging wife May, obsessed with haute cuisine, during a drunken rage one night.

He sober ups the next day, completely unaware of what he did the night before… until he finds the corpse stuffed into their new huge ass microwave, decides to quickly dispose of his wife remains by dismembering and hiding it in the fridge, only to later accidentally take a bite out of May’s tinfoiled hand, liking the taste, things lead to things, and to Donald cooking the body parts in the microwave, finding the “blood feast” quite delish. So much that he starts killing hookers so he keep his cannibalistic cuisine going, sharing it with his unsospecting coworkers, even.

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