Tag: Jordana Brewster

[EXPRESSO] Heart Eyes (2025) | Serial Seattle Slasher

I kept myself in the dark as could about this one, for a change, but indeed i do understand why it was discussed and looked forward to.

The short of it is that Heart Eyes is what one could expect old slasher like My Bloody Valentine to be about, as in, it’s indeed about a masked serial killer that kills people on Valentine’s Day, but this isn’t more or less random theming to help marketing when it’s not actually relevant to the plot, this is a serial killer that specifically prays on couple every Valentine’s Day, and its killing spree have become a tradition of sorts, dreaded and dubbed as the “Heart Eyes killer” by the press.

This time he targets two co-workers that are trying to figure out if there actually could be something between the two when out for a dinner “date”, forcing the two to try and survive the night….

It’s a pretty simple set up but it gets more interesting than it sounds since the movie is also a romantic comedy, and thankfully the script co-writed by Christopher Langdon (Happy Death Day, Freaky, Drop) is able to balance out both the romance and the comedy horror aspects, while also delivering on the graphic violence with great gore effects and some really fun kills, coexisting with the genre-savvy dialogues and attitudes that never clash against each others, harvesting the classic slasher tropes for some fun twists and somehow being able to avoid padding, making for a succint, to the point approach to both the slasher and romance genres that’s witty without straight up brownosing itself.

The killer is also surprisingly fun to see in action, nothing original, but executed in a fashion that harnesses the cliches in a familiar but still fun, slightly fresher and satisfying way.

[EXPRESSO] Fast X (2023) | Furious Finale, Part 1

As the Fast And Furious series sheds even more words from their movie titles (in order to gain even more speed, obviously), with Fast X we reached the finale… kinda, as it’s a two parter, given how over the top the series is nothing else would have quite sufficed.

I would say they fumbled the opportunity to make the franchise go into space… but that already happened, so Fast X had to somehow up the ante of absolute bullshit that most people have come to love over the years. Myself included, these movies are so dumb but also utterly and sincerely committed that they come off as endearing.

It’s like a live-action shonen manga version of The Italian Job where superpowers are replaced by improbable car manouvers and the universe is themed/styled after the Gasolina music video, where Vin Diesel instead of unleashing a Bankai presses the NOS button or tailspins like a beyblade, it’s fucking great preposterous nonsense and i love it.

In terms of plot we have another shadow from the past style character, Dante Heyes, come and unleash vengeance for the “Toretto team” having killed his father many movies ago, and he’s planning to go full on the eye for an eye business upon Toretto’s family, prompting Vic and his allies on a world throtting chase to stop Dante’ schemes.

To be honest, this is kind of a lukewarm “part 1”, aside from the fact that yes, this is supposed to be heavier on setup… it’s a bit “meh”, as in, still entertaining but we’ve seen better and far more absurd shit happen in these movies, thankfully we have Jason Momoa as a fruity sociophatic villain stealing the show and giving the movie some needed energy.

Cautiously optimistic part 2 will actually be a worthy pay off.