We’re doing this now because honestly these are not worth having to change most of the blog’s schedule, as yes, this is another subchapter in the “public domainxploitation” saga, after the Steambot Willy version of Mickey Mouse and previously the Pooh character from Winnie The Pooh were preyed upon by the evergrowing amount of horror hacks.
And sincer this is just one of the 3 Popeye horror films made and released this year, “hacks” i feel is the right term, you don’t get to pretend otherwise when you actually makes films of this ilk.
Also yes, i am quite late to the partay, since these films were released starting from late February onwards, but i did not known Popeye was gonna be forcedfully made to join the trend until a saw a poster for this film in late May.
There’s not really much to say besides “what if Popeye as a modern cheap low budget slasher film”?
Some grad students sneak around an abandoned spinach canning factory to investigate the local legend of the “Sailor Man” that supposedly haunts the factory and surrounding docks.
Plot over. So, besides how the title implying maybe the writer liked Doom Eternal a lot, the question IS (it has to be) how shitty it is, and if it’s worse than the first Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey film (haven’t gotten around to The Mouse Trap, yet)?
It’s the obvious random mesh of thrown together garbage trying to eek out another slasher to exploit a now “free” old IP or character that is still somehow known, heck, it fits even worse than turning childhood characters into frenzied monsters that go around and kill people like Michael Myers, not that it cares to at least commit to its stupid concept and try to somehow make something out of it, even putting aside the cynical and desperate nature of the beast.
It’s about as derivative and creatively bankrupt as it sounds, as intended, “Popeye” look like bees stung hard Sloth from the Goonies, and i had to put subtitles on to even understand what the fuck he was saying, so maybe making him completely silent would have the better choice, but then again the character has so few lines (about 5), so complaining about those sounding muffled as hell since the actor had to speak through what is basically a silicon Popeye mask… it’s just pointless, because the bland as hell script clearly doesn’t care about anything besides having people for “Elephant Sailor Man” to kill around his hunting grounds of the docks and the spinach canning factory.
Gotta love these factories, as they’re a recurring backdrop/scenario for these low budget slasher, like a lot, especially UK ones (though this is an US production).
There’s a last act, last minute plot twist… because there has to be, i guess, it doesn’t really add anything of value but i guess they felt like giving an explanation for how the “Slayer Sailor Boy II Man” came to be this stupid hulking humanoid powered by canned spinach, as some pedantic asshole (like me) would complain if they didn’t actually explain things.
I’m just gonna spoil it this time around, it’s because the canned spinachs were actually contaminated with radiations, which led to him basically growing “Big O” arm tumors, it’s that Robot Chicken sketch, basically, but even saying so will make you think it has a Troma feel to it, given they slapped a “ I Heart The Toxie” angle for killer monster’s backstory, but even that in itself is just brought out in the last act as a nod to the original comic strips and to give it some pro-enviromental theming, though it all just stuff thrown into the script for padding purposes.
This is….it’s trash alright, but it lacks any of the ol’ Troma quirkyness, sense of excess, charm, or personality, nor it has the grindhouse grime, it’s just another modern and increasingly desperate low budget cash grab, playing it “straight” as it can with the ridiculous looking killer dejour, but lacking any pizzaz or energy to it.
And yes, there’s a character called Olive/Olivia. Of course there is, but at least they remembered more than the character’s name, i did not expect this movie to actually bother to do that, though that applies perfectly for the Wimpy stand-in that just comes and go in a one-off cameo.
at least they went for completely practical effects for the gore and kills, there’s no digital shit, but even these are frankly boring and subpar, even for these low budget slasher exploitation flicks they’re middling, at best, but i’ll say a couple of kills have some fun to them, senseless as they are.
I’d add that is embarassing, but again, shame’s grave has been pissed on routinely for a good decade (to be morbidly kind) or more, so of course it’s laughable, something that shouldn’t be more than a joke, a poster and a tagline, but clearly that isn’t gonna stop anyone anymore.
You know, at least Blood And Honey (the first one) tried to make a “head crushed with tire” kill that didn’t work out properly, but they tried, here often i’m not sure if some of the gibs n bits were intentionally made or accidental but left in the final product because this needed to get kicked out of the door quick to immediatly jump on the the bandwagon, before people even forget this trend.
Photography is not that bad, truth to be told, acting it’s pretty bad but honestly could be worse, characters are the usual annoying slasher stereotypes, and the pacing is initially okay… but then as the movie has nothing to say or build on, it gets boring fast, just killing time between the kills with generic slasher bullshit and plot conveniences to make this thing go on for (roughly) 90 minutes, making for a very, very subpar slasher film, even with the measured expectations one could realistically harbour with a movie about Popeye going around killing people in slasher fashion.
Yep, Popeye The Slayer Man it’s worse than even the first Winnie The Pooh Blood And Honey, which isn’t a line i would like to write, but i have to, and apparently Popeye’s Revenge is even worse, guess now i’ll have to find out, maybe we’ll even do Shivers Me Timbers, which hopefully is gonna be the last one of these Popeye horror films, ever.
WHEN we’ll find out… who knows.
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