Summer Shark Attack/Ozark Sharks (2016) [REVIEW] | Fireworks Sharks

Ozark Sharks AKA Summer Shark Attack 2016

We’ll do Mississippi Shark Attack later (maybe), first we have to deal with sharks in the Ozarks region, because as we know damn well by now, the lack of oceans or seas won’t stop sharks (especially TV movies’ sharks) from appearing, as Dolph Lungren and Mackenzie Rosman (just to name a couple of random names) are well aware.

Also know as Summer Shark Attack, let’s be as specific as possible, it’s not like 99 % of these movies take place in the summer or in sunny places anyway. Then again, there are winter shark attack movies (more than they should), so the need to specify in what season it takes place is not completely useless.

So, this time we got lake sharks… already done more times than it should, and they aren’t that outrageous as a concept anyway, because freshwater sharks do really exists, in this case we have bull sharks, which can swim in both fresh and salt water.

This time it’s in the Ozarks, and it happens to disrupt the annual fireworks festival. As far as the main characters go, we got a family trip, with begrudging siblings, bikini clad ladies, and poor granma that came back to the ol’ Ozark lakes of her childhood only to be eaten by a frigging shark. It’s so brutal that William Murderface would approve.

Ozark Sharks AKA Summer Shark Attack 2016 gin rummy sharks

As far as SyFy TV movies offerings go, it’s surprisingly watchable, with fairly decent presentation, the Ozarks are picturesque and have a jolly backwood feel (at least i get that impression, i just don’t know, i live in Italy), with appropriate folkish music once in a while, but nothing that comes across as a tired old b-movie clichès or stereotipical caricatures of people living in that part of the United States, i think.

The main characters are likeable, not deep but likeable B-movie characters that you feel bad for if they get eaten (poor grandma), there is even an eccentric shopkeeper, Jones, that sells bait, choco-hoes, and has an improptu lab with weapons and gears like he just expected a situation like this or prepared for an extreme Dead Rising larp session, with shock oars, pitchforks upgraded to tridents, and more. The classic B-movies helpful weirdo, played delightfully by Thomas Francis Murphy, who already starred in Ghost Shark, and more high profile works like 12 Years A Slave (which keeps popping up in these reviews), Mindhunter, True Detective, and was Brion in The Walking Dead.

Despite the plot being lightweight as usual, the narrative moves along very fast (especially compared to many other shark movies), and the CG for the shark is alright for a TV movie budget, far better than many other shark movies of this ilk. Also, there are some actually cute jokes, like the “shark trap” one, the script is surprisingly better than expected, not only because of some genuinely good jokes, but because it also avoids some of the formulaic bullshit. Sure, people don’t believe when they warn them of sharks in the lake (who would?), but we don’t have to shoehorn a “major macdouche” equivalent just for cheap conflict and to pad out the thing.

I was gonna say this is Trailer Park Shark/Swamp Shark’s cousin film or something… but definitely the better cousin, especially since it doesn’t take place in “trailer park for the stereotyped terminal”, has some real production values, decent acting, and it goes by fairly quick, doesn’t warp the conception of time by being boring as hell and incredibly slow to get to the point or have things happen. Not this one, it’s feels just long enough, and has an appropriate “4th Of July” climax.

Ozark Sharks AKA Summer Shark Attack 2016 dead rising crafting here i come

I could go on and try to pad this review, but i honestly don’t have much to add, this is a fun one, against all odds, i guess that you just can’t go wrong with throwing a shark into a woodchipper.

 

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