12 Days Of Dino Dicember #1: Triassic Hunt (2021)

This one it’s a bit odd, as you would guess it being a mockbuster of Jurassic World 3 Dominion… or at least it was probably gonna be that, but that movie – along many others – was postponed time and time again due to complications caused by the pandemic, so The Asylum for once had the mockbuster ready to leech off a movie that wasn’t out yet, and released it anyway this last January.

I mean, nothing stops them from making dinosaur movies that are not mockbusters, but in the end it’s mostly a matter of labels, since this one as well isn’t exactly copying directly a more popular movie, just ripping off Carnosaur even more than Corman and Buechler did, to continue the circle of trash cannibalizing older trash.

Long live the new trash, etc etc.

There is some solace to the fact these Asylum films are casted in such a predictable way, with a mixture of familiar faces seen in other movies produced by them, and the occasional old actor roped by necessity or other methods, in this case Michael Panè (The Virgin Suicides, Gone) and beloved scream queen Linnea Quigley herself (obviously aged quite a bit, because reality), which is quite nice, especially since some of the acting is questionable, like the leader of the commando unit, impossible to take serious as the actor always stutters his lines in a distracting accent.

Speaking of familiar, this time directing duties fell upon Gerald Rascionato, better known for Open Water 3 Cage Dive, here at his second feature film, followed in June of the same year by Claw, another movie about dinosaur, because why the fuck not? Dinosaurs are timeless, ironically enough.

Remember when i said this was another Carnosaur rip-off of sorts? It’s not quite that, as in this case the plot it’s more a rip off of the first Jurassic World, since it focuses on two dinosaurs that are created in a lab and taught how to be smart like humans, the dinos are let loose by accidents and it’s up to mercenaries to capture them back. Yeah, it’s ripping off that plot point of Jurassic World, not so much the first Carnosaur… more like the second and third Carnosaur movies, i guess, if you really wanna count the generic, cliched use of commandos to deal with the dinos as “ripping off”.

Not surprising but not necessarily obvious, this serves as a sequel to 2018’s Triassic World, as one of the scientists surviving from that one remembers a similar incident having happened before….. which also implies the company behind the two new allosauruses is the same one, it is, amazing she knows that despite her character not actually existing in that movie, and this one has a different cast altogether, but whatever, it’s ultimately an excuse to reuse stock footage (now sepia tinted) from that movie, obviously the cheaper, easier way to connect the two otherwise unrelated stories.

Even if this means using scenes that basically show how conflicting were the reasons for making dinosaurs between the two movies (organ farms and military killing machines, respectively), they patchwork that with narration over the stock footage; even so if it’s clear as day this was never meant to be a sequel to that movie, but doing so saved The Asylum some more cash, so yeah…

And on the bright side the CG for the dinosaur is decent-good looking (again, for Asylum standards, let me remind you), i kinda preferred the mix of CG and bits of practical puppets in Triassic World, personally, but honestly they look fine for this kind of production. Despite being not that good or original, the plot it’s better than i expected and it has its moments, like one of the mercs that at one point is left unarmed and has to fuckin punch an allosaurus in the face. Which he does, a lot.

You gotta love people punching dinosaurs in the face out of desperation.

So there is some fun to be had, the acting overall is ok, the movie starts really fast but it manages to drag a lot less than expected, and overall is actually a bit better than Triassic World (while also fitting nicely as a sequel to that movie). Not bad, not bad.

Not great, at all, but not bad, taken for what it is, as in a better version of Carnosaur 3: Primal Species, by pure accident.

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