Before the year ends, it’s time to fullfil some promises nobody care about, so after reviewing Attack Of The Sabretooth (AKA Primal Park) back in whenever that happened, i realized almost before i finished writing the review, that this was sorta/kinda/vaguely a sequel to another movie about sabertooth tigers, as in they were sequelized only when localized in some foreign markets, as they have nothing to do with each other… aside from the writer, being Tom Woosley for both otherwise unrelated movies about extinct tiger species going about killing people.
Still more sensible than most of the italian cannibal film being retitled as “Cannibal Holocaust 2” when not even the lead actor’s dingus is a shared asset.
Simply titled “Sabretooth”, this is yet another TV movie that debutted on the ol’ Sci-Fi channel about killer animals that might or not be mutants or resurrected extinct evolutionary cul-de-sacs because Spielberg did a killing resurrecting the ancient lineage of the KFC bucket a decade ago.
And Roger Corman was also there to rip chickens up with its Carnosaur, then again, Clint Howard WAS eating chicken in front a chicken coup (and dinosaurs).
You know the drill by now: thin paper plot, cheap CG monster/creature on the loose killing people in whatever location is cheaper to shoot shit in (as in, the good ol’ woods, more specific the Big Bear Lake. CA), the sheriff or men with guns are dispatched to take care of it (or most likely die in the process) for some douchebag CEO or someone responsabile for the creature to begin with.
This time we swap the dinosaurs for another prehistoric animal, the Sabertooth tiger, since if you make one of these films, might as well make it a Jurassic Park rip-off, at this point one more doesn’t change shit and will just be thrown into the evergrowing pile, so whatever, and i guess because having the southern sheriff would be too much a 50s B-movie cliche, we’re swapping him out for the other clichè, the big game hunter ready to make the thing extinct again.
Oh, and rope in some TV actors that might or might have not also had a notable presence in cinema as well, with Sabretooth “gacha pulling” David Keith (An Officer And A Gentleman, Behind Enemy Lines, The Indian In The Cupboard) and John Rhys-Davies (the Lord Of The Rings films, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Anaconda 3 and 4, In The Name Of The King).
You could do so much worse it’s not even funny, so not a bad pull overall.
Characters are the usual bunch of mismatched dorkuses there because otherwise it won’t be much of a movie and the cat will beg for more food even with a half-full plate, no point discussing them any further, it’s not even as obvious cannon fodder as with Attack Of The Sabretooth.
It’s honestly kinda pathetic how this is still somehow better than Primal Park/Attack Of The Sabertooth, as in, here they at least have animatronics effects, lettering and production values that fit the expected threshold of cheap from a Sy Fy original film, but then again John Rhys Davies alone elevates it, even if he scrounging around lamenting about a sabertooth tiger shipment gone missing, he’s in the movie a lot more than the Anaconda sequels, for one.
That, and the fact the creature is not always some shitty CG blurry spot before he’s finally shown to be a full model… shitty CG animal, nope, they do have an animatronic for the sabertooth tiger itself, but the catch is they use that just for some close up shots of the animal moving its mouth, roaring or stuff like standing mostly still, for anything that involves actually moving, attacking and so on is the expected blurry, shitty CG, and yet even that here is still better than everything in Attack of The Sabretooth, there’s nothing like the untextured golden smilodon statue plopped digitally with the grace of a drunken moose on top of an actual building.
It does get brownie points since the director is willing to cast himself as the mute mentally challenged redneck brother, but then again, Attack Of The Sabretooth has a lot more gore, even if most of the time was digital swill, while this one is fairly bloodless and you basically see shit all, as the creature conveniently drags people off screen to kill them. But then again even the few carcasses and torn up bodies are more convincing here.
So, is this the better movie of the two? Definitely, this is still bungum, it’s the same ol’ low budget SYFY TV movie fare about killer mutant animals, as in, it’s the same old shit but it’s serviceable enough, perfectly watchable while utterly desposable and unremarkable, this time around done with actual actors people recognize and some production values, including an animatronic, which is a rarity in these TV killer animals b-movies, even if the budget was so low it might as well not have been used at all, since its shifts jarringly from the animatronic to a shitty CGI sabertooth tiger.
It depends on the degree of how much trashy and gory you want your killer mutant sabretooth tiger flick to be, because they’re both entertaining enough to do the job.
If you’re willing to go even trashier, stupider, bloodier and with worse actors, pretty much more on the Jim Wynorski side of things (minus the nudity), but actually entertaining because its actually bad enough to be “good”, pick Attack Of The Sabertooth.
If you DON’T want a movie that’s utter trash, but not even fit for SYFY debut… watch this one instead for something less garbage.
Personally, i enjoyed Attack Of The Sabertooth more because of his notable trashiness and some little fun moments of utter bullshit, like the “limping saber, hidden tooth” moment.
Wise Cafe (International) 