More relatively fresh dinosaur meat, because the grind never stops even for these.
And nope, this is not another Jurassic World : Dominion mockbuster…. kinda, it’s pretty much that, as it comes from prolific and fairly fresh GB-based low budget C-D grade movies supplier Jagged Edge Productions, better known for the recent Winnie The Pooh slasher film (and its sequels), many “Curse Of” movies about some random public domain-fairytale character turned slasher villain, Bunnyman rip-offs (i’m not joking), but also behind a lot of pretty obvious mockbusters, including releasing something called something called Freddy’s Fridays the very same year of the Blumhouse FNAF movie being out in theathers, so yeah, shame was never an option.
Among these and others, they also pump out dinosaur movies, like the previously featured Dinosaur Hotel, which in the meantime got a sequel and a third entry on the way. So yeah, this company is clearly set on being the new Asylum, or Full Moon Pictures, for better or worse.
Compared to some of the dinosaur flicks by the Asylum, Kingdom Of The Dinosaurs aims a little higher than usual, at least in terms of premise, with a group of selected survivors, that in 2030, during the beginning of WW III, manage to enter a bunker.
Two years later, they emerge from the bunker in order to find new supplies, but instead are greeted by packs of predator dinosaurs prowling about, which were left loose years before… for reasons that quite don’t make sense, but, yeah, the dinos are still alive, as is the war we never saw but we’re just getting told about, as with anything that might prove interesting, it’s handwaved at with a “trust me bro”, feeling extra shitty since by the end of the movie the plot has basically looped itself, with very little done and achieved, the subplots never resolved, with just a tiny, kinda pathetic sequel bait.
Which is extra sketchy since there’s still no Kingdom Of The Dinosaurs 2 listed on IMDB. Not yet, anyway.
The CG for the dinosaurs it’s a bit better than the embarassment, the utter joke it was in Dinosaur Hotel, but it still below Asylum tier, and still, its inconsistent, as the CG can even provide almost believable dinos when its the raptors moving inside the bunker, the pterodactyls look like ass and the “T-Rexes” look far worse, weirdly translucent at times, though – unlike in Asylum movies – they at least tried to make the dinosaurs look big in relation to the enviroments, instead of them changing sizes from shot to shot, but it’s a small consolation since, at the end of the day, the dinos are overall still as believable as Grum presenting The Pillgrumms from that Tim And Eric skit.
The tone is serious, so is acting, though the british accents don’t mean much in making the performances much than “slightly above subpar”, and the dull, perfunctorial dialogues don’t help in giving a shit about characters too stock to even be worth mocking, even though they are perfect at being overly stupid at all times, the classic “the plot demands it” reason for everyone being dumb shits that practice the act of ducking into a fetal position when a dinosaur it’s about to eat them, so that it can be edited around actually showing any proper gore or blood, saves a lot of work.
As is most of the movie taking place inside the shelter/bunker, we barely see anything of the dino infested world, for obvious budget reasons that aren’t surprising, but still shitty and lame.
The only sequence of note it’s the dinosaur being trapped accidentally into a walking crematory of sorts, but even that can’t be savoured as it too brief, the rest it’s the same old shit these movie keep ripping off Jurassic Park, and – unfair or not – still can’t measure up to a 20 yo film.
The nicest thing i can say is that’s kinda watchable, but honestly, even if it clearly puts a lot less effort in and this one has the plot a lil’ more similar to JW Dominion, Jurassic Domination is the better movie, and it has Eric Roberts clearly not having any shits left to give for movies like these.
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