Shark! AKA Samuel Fuller’s Shark AKA 4 Bastardi Per Un Posto All’Inferno (1969) [REVIEW] | #thesharksix

You can hardly get any more basic with a title like “Shark!” (shouted, of course), so it’s no wonder it got mostly forgotten in time, its status as a pre-Jaws shark film not helping, hence leave it to the italian home video market to release under the title of “4 Bastards For A Place In Hell” (4 Bastardi Per Un Posto All’Inferno), far more eye-catching and way fuckin better than just “Shark (exclamation mark)” though making one expect to see a spaghetti western, because deception and bullshit was always the name of the game when localizing titles of movies here in Italy.

Though it also can be summed up as “the shark movie with Burt Reynolds in it”, as we have basically a shark-laden style “Treasure Of The Sierra Madre” plot as well, with the protagonist being a gunrunner that loses its cargo near a Sudanese harbor town, making him stuck there, until he’s hired by a woman to help a scientist raid a sunken ship in shark-infested waters for some.. “valuables”.

Pity is, he faces competition from other people hired to do the very same thing..

Not to be confused with 1975’s Shark Treasure by Cornel Wilde, also about a sunken treasure and criminals, and one that also publicized itself on the realism of the sharks in it, because… minds think alike, especially when you’re gonna cash into Jaws’ success.

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[EXPRESSO] Bad Boys: Ride Or Die (2024) | Crank IV: Cartellopallooza

So, i guess the Bad Boys series is back to stay after it got resurrected in 2020 with For Life, with this fresh new entry released a few days ago in cinema, and both meme slapper and Martin Lawrence are doing these until they die or release a movie as bad as Rambo V.

Which i don’t particularly mind because i’m also kinda indifferent to the series, but For Life was enjoyable, a decent action comedy flick (though honestly i don’t even remember what it was about unless i look it up), and Ride Or Die pretty much is on the same level, maybe a little better because they don’t have to appeal for nostalgia, not that hard this time around anyway.

I’d discuss the plot but honestly there’s very little besides picking one of the few types and variations of plots this kind of movie could feature, and this time the spinning wheel lands on a corrupt politician (via a rogue criminal army) trying to defame the “Boys’” old police mentor and frame them for a long time case of corruption in the force about dealing with the drug cartels…

Yeah, very little surprises, same goes for the villains, pretty forgettable too, one so obvious and cartoonish it’s almost a joke, but i will say the chemistry of the main duo still works perfectly fine, delivers some laughs, here thanks to Marcus having a mystical near death experience and going all new age non-sense on Mike’s predicaments, on top of the usual “too old for this shit” shtick, and overall it’s fairly entertaining, with the action scenes having often some decent setpieces to them and the camera work even going for some Crank/Hardcore Henry style sequences.

It’s definitely not boring, decent fun even if far from memorable or original.

[EXPRESSO] Diabolik 3: Diabolik, Chi Sei? (2023) | Flashback Finale

Teased at the end of Ginko Attacks!, the new and final movie of the Manetti Bros. Diabolik trilogy recently hit theathers here, titled “Diabolik- Chi Sei?” (Diabolik, Who Are You?).

Given how i loathed Ginko Attacks, i watched the new film mostly for completition’s sake… and this one it’s a little better, but it has its own set of issues.

The plot sees a new criminal gang arise in Clarville, proving to be even more ruthless than Diabolik itself, much to the dismay of officer Ginko, whom loses one of his most trusted men to the gang, and is later held hostage… alongside a captive Diabolik. So its up to Ginko’s love interest, Countess Altea, to seek help from Diabolik’s partner in life & crime, Eva Kant, in order to save them.

Sounds decent but the idea it’s undermined by how quickly this new gang can capture Diabolik, the supposed master of crime, how once again most of the work is up to Eva Kant more than Diabolik itself, even worse this time around, as Diabolik’s main contribution is chatting with Ginko and telling him his origin story. In the third fuckin movie of the trilogy, mind you.

The origin story itself it’s more interesting than the actual plot of the movie, which feels thin, so why not at this point spend a third of the movie on that to reach a 2 hours runtime. The kinda anticlimactic actual resolution of the whole gang subplot doesn’t help either.

Like the other two modern Diabolik movies, this one too perfectly captures the style and mood of the comics, but it kinda forgots you maybe should adapt the decades old stories for modern audiences, or actually try to improve them for the big screen.

This one it’s mediocre and not much else.

The Ninja Squad (1986) [REVIEW] | Filipino Ninjas

While Ninja November sadly will not happen, it’s sunday, so time for a rewrite-revision on one of Godfrey Ho’ “ninja classics”, The Ninja Squad, because i really don’t think you need more reviews on Ninja Terminator and Golden Ninja Warrior.

At least not when doing a “simple” rewrite, i guess we’ll have to get to them eventually.

This time we have caucasian ninjas footage bolted onto a 1984 filipino movie called “ Hatulan si baby angustia”, directed by Rey Malonzo, which according to IMDB also directed two other movies that also served as “bases” for other Ho ninja flicks. Fate can be quite cruel, indeed.

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