Shark Zone (2003) [REVIEW] | Welcome To

As opposed to any other zone. We gotta be specific, it’s only the billionth shark movie to come out, but apparently the first one to have the balls to claim this zone as specifically designed for shark use only. So it’s NOT their fault you happen to walk in there and get eaten. Sharks are people too.

Or in other words “Go into the water, live there, die there, live there die”

What do you want? You wanna know the plot? You don’t. More accurately, you don’t need to, even if you just red a lot of reviews of shark movies you can fairly accurately assume what is gonna happen before even seeing it, or go pretty close.

This one of those that aside the usual fare of beach community, majoral dickery, and sharks munching people has the “lost treasure hunt by order of a mob boss”.

Like in other Danny Lerner shark flicks, there are plenty of goofs to find, and like Sharks In Venice, there are plenty of bulgarian actors standing in as russians. Actually, the plot itself feels a lot similar, just with a more generic location, a more generic “spanish galleon gold treasure” to find, russian criminal boss hiring the lead (who has lost his father due to sharks) instead of a mafioso.

The major difference is to be found in the main character, Jimmy Wagner, afraid of sharks due to the beasts eating his father while they were searching for a treasure… but still, even if it’s not identical (due to the focus on Jimmy’s past and him caring for his family as the driving reason for his action), it’s fair to say Lerner later reused a lot of similar “ideas” for Sharks In Venice’s script.

At least we do get a brief intro showing the galleon itself and its ancient crew, shame they alternate between new footage, shock footage of ocean sterring storm waves (the lighting doesn’t quite match) and admittely decent-good miniature sets of the ship. It’s not badly done of a sequence, but it looks phonier than it is thanks to the “waves stock footage”, it’s the same 3 seconds, the color saturation is not quite matching the new footage, and there’s enough grain on the film to notice.

In hindsight, this looks VERY familiar.

Especially since there’s also clearly new footage of waves crashing, so they clearly could record them, making me wonder why even bother using stock footage of waves, just to make it technically longer than 90 minutes? I dunno. Just kinda silly in a movie that has decent shark effects-props.

Speaking of which, since this is a Nu Image film from that era, you bet they edited a lot of stock footage of real sharks, regardless if you can tell the shark shown is in a tank (ocean my ass) or not, just mush that footage with other stock footage or some garbled new footage of the shark prop attacking… something that bleeds/release strawberry juice in the water, and i stress “something”.

You can’t tell it’s fake if you can’t tell what exactly you’re looking at to begin with.

So, overall the usual from the director-writer and the production company, no point in dissecting further a carcass that has pretty much a lot of the same, identical rotten bits as previous (and later) works from anyone involved in it. This is like the “deviled eggs” bit with Zoidberg from Futurama.

You know the deal, you wanna know if it’s an enjoyable bad shark movie, if it’s entertaining. A fair enough question.

Like Raging Sharks, it’s a not a decent (or good) movie that can be taken seriously, it’s not a deliberate “so bad it’s good” flick, it falls somewhere in between, but somehow it’s actually watchable and entertaining, dumb enough to be enjoyable without being too dumb or too serious.

There’s some decent acting, but overall, Shark Zone it’s a quite forgettable, throw-away shark movie experience. Even so, it will kill 90 minutes with ease and provide some mild entertaiment. It’s fine.


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