Due to rescheduling issues i noticed Sharkapalooza was one movie short, so i figured i’d review one of my recent “sight unseen and cheap” DVD pickups, Shark Warning, from last year….
…..and it’s an Asylum joint.
I literally paused my Donkey Kong Bananza game to see this, no that i expected this movie to be good.
The odds were never on my favour, i guess this one of their generic shark films since there was no big budget shark film released that year… was it? I mean, we got Under Paris via Netflix, but this is not a mockbuster of that, and some other shark movies (like No Way Up) but nothing big budget or cinema bound for the Asylum to try make some cents out of its reflected glory.
Doesn’t matter anyway, so what kind of shark movie are we getting?
The shark hunter one, with a man returning to his hometown after 20 years ago, a shark killed his brother, and as luck as it, the shark remerges to claim more victims and the brother manages to get more people in his hunt for the bastard beast.
If it feels familiar, it’s that i remember watching at least other 2 movies with the same exact plot, 2015 – aply titled – Shark Hunter and to an extent Maneater from 2022, reviewed both of those, and those the are the ones that just came up at the top of my head.
This is basically the “D” or “E” type of plot for these, won’t be surprised if they actually pick at random from a hat what specific kind of overdone plot to use for every shark movie they make (or their dinosaur movies, for that matter).
I’ve feel i’ve done this joke before, so yeah, it’s the “shark hunter’s revenge” kind. Sorta.
It’s Jaws 4: The Revenge again. This time the major ignores a sighting of a shark off the safe zone, she plans to have a guy secretly detonate a bomb on the lowerside of the dam to ensure there’s enough finned fauna for the upcoming fishing tournament event (which the town depends on to make bank and stay afloat) to catch… which backfires since its opens the way – small bomb my ass – for a shark to come in and attack people.
Since they know the major won’t do shit (after the usual scenes where these “reheated Jaws plots for ya film” waste time trying to get the major that will never call off the event), they prepare to hunt the shark themselves, especially as it seems to be the same one from 20 years ago…
So i’m gonna try and keep this short and the point: it this subpar trash but enjoyable throway subpar trash, or a boring slog even with a 90 minutes runtime?
Surprisingly it’s quite okay, a lot less trashy, the acting it’s quite passable (the roped in old actor this time around is Baywatch’s David Chokachi, putting more effort than needed here), it’s a lot more realistic in terms of events and characters reaction all around (as its the general IQ of these fellas), kinda refreshing after dozens of shark film where the rocks have more a sense of self-preservation…. in some cases this still applies, but overall they’re far less dumb and they try to give even the major a more active role in the events instead of being “evil” and sitting in her office.
The effects are the usual subpar stuff, the shark looking extra slimy in its CG “glory” (one wonders if Asylum sharks are made of water-resistant pudding), could be worse, honestly, though i’m not sure they choose a more realistic approach to the shark attacks because they wanted or because it was cheaper to do that while also using some cheap FX for the actual attacks… mysteries of the deep indeed.
That said, Shark Warning it’s mediocre and unoriginal as they come, but even being “okay” already puts it miles above most of the shark films i feature here, it is perfectly watchable and entertaining enough (though it also one of those that could have used a slimmer runtime, especially in the rote third act), it does the job of killing 90 minutes, it’s a passable morsel for any shark movie buffs, unless you – somehow – expect originality from a random ass Asylum movie.
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