3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) [REVIEW] | Triple Trejo

3 Headed Shark Attack 2015

3 years have passed, and with the help of Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray back to direct, the little shark grew another head, because why not, let’s make a series out of this wafer thin premise!

As you might imagine, this is not a sequel, it’s just another shark movie, but this time he has 3 heads instead of 2, we gotta escalate something, and the plot doesn’t revolve around improbable college summer seminar at sea. We have them bikini clad (and clad-less) ladies, young people partying, drinking, and being victims of shark interruptus, but it’s more an incidental, an inevitability of this kind of shlock. Continua a leggere “3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) [REVIEW] | Triple Trejo”

2 Headed Shark Attack (2012) [REVIEW] | Double Hit

2 Headed Shark Attack 2012

Title engineering is the heart of shlock, it was so in the 50s and it didn’t really change much, just got worse, in an oversaturated ocean that somehow finds lube for another pile of shark movies, and among the endless waves of those, there certainly was one called 2 Headed Shark Attack… and also called Monster Shark Attack, this movies can’t have just a single title, apparently.

You already know if you’re in by the tone you’re reading the title. Continua a leggere “2 Headed Shark Attack (2012) [REVIEW] | Double Hit”

Shark Month approacheth

Sweetness And Lightning same song

So yeah, as this month comes to a close and coincidentally i go back to work, i’d like to announce that you will see a lot of shark movie reviews in june, as this quarantine was quite boring, with 15 planned reviews, and maybe some extra ones, if i have the time.

And no, i don’t plan to review JUST shark movies in june, nor i planned to dub it “shark month”, but you get the point!

Lavalantula (2015) [REVIEW] | Can’t Stop The Dante

Lavalantula 2015

Oh yes, because every bad hand of Scrabble has the chance of becoming a SyFy Original, but only few chosen puns can become a Sharknado spin-off, featuring even Ian Ziering as as a “seal of approval” of sorts. And Phantom from Devil May Cry (along with its many sons) needed a new gig anyway. Continua a leggere “Lavalantula (2015) [REVIEW] | Can’t Stop The Dante”

Monster Island (2019) [REVIEW] | Some Monsters Mild Aggression Tantrum

Monster Island 2019.png

Cards on the table: it’s an Asylum production, and is both directed and written by Mark Atkins, who brought us Sand Sharks, Planet Of The Sharks, 6 Headed Shark Attack, and Knight Of The Dead, just to lay off the sharks (poor things).

The UK DVD cover art is actually decent, and promises a mindless monster melee between giant squid, werewolf thingies, reptilian monstrousities and one that seems like an Orga rip-off… I love these covers, i do, but often than not they end up being better than the movies themselves, when we talk mockbuster and D-movies powerhouses as Asylum, and like the bottom feeders they are, this time they released Monster Island to steal the breadcrumbs of Godzilla II: King Of The Monsters, which came out on the 30th of May 2019 in US theathers, and this one on the 1st of June, 2 days later. Continua a leggere “Monster Island (2019) [REVIEW] | Some Monsters Mild Aggression Tantrum”

Shark Shock (2017) [REVIEW]| Rednecks VS Electro Shark

Shark Shock 2017 dvd poster.jpg

Sans Peter Gabriel. Sadly.

It’s worth noting right away that you might already have seen this, it’s Trailer Park Shark, retitled as Shark Shock for the UK DVD release i bought. I would lament about the dvd cover (shown above) being false adverting, but there are jet skis and trailers in the movie, water though is far from crystaline since it takes place (and is filmed) in Lousiana, with waters as murky and brown as you can get. Continua a leggere “Shark Shock (2017) [REVIEW]| Rednecks VS Electro Shark”

Sand Sharks (2011) [REVIEW] | Shark On The Beach

Sand Sharks 2011.png

Tis the season.

If you are an avid shark moviegoer, it’s quite likely you heard of it, but then again, there are so many of these crappy B-movies around, it might have been lost between the Sharkenados, the Sharktopuses (a trilogy, so far) and the sharks that stack corpses to create dams like frigging beavers.

And because you didn’t ask, Zombeavers is also a thing.

Sand Sharks it another sterling exemplary of titulation, because it’s true, this time the sharks swim in the sand. How? In the paraphraresd words of the resident marine biologist “because they basically suck water out of the sand to survive”. ‘K. Continua a leggere “Sand Sharks (2011) [REVIEW] | Shark On The Beach”