Tag: Dennis Quaid

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #42: Caveman (1981)

Ah yes, the caveman movie with Ringo Starr, that was a thing, and honestly anything with actors or people that are actually known in the wider sphere of interests… it’s a welcome break from a lot cheap ass dinosaur flicks done with nobodies and with the cash of a ham sandwich, i’ve said this before but i’ll repeat myself since the 30 cents trash is by far the more numerically abudant.

Especially as it’s kind of ambitious for what’s conceptually just another cavemen comedy, as the main appeal is the cast, with Ringo Starr, Dennis Quaid, Barbara Bach, but it’s almost completely recited in “caveman language”, and in some theathers they even gave out a translation phamplet for 30 words in caveman lingo, which isn’t a complete gimmick since there is a sort of caveman dialect-vocabulary that’s recurring through the film, so no subtitles will ever be needed to watch it.

There is a plot of sorts, with Atouk, a caveman a bit too thinky and curious for its tribe, getting kicked out and joining a merry band of outcast cavemen, and with them they basically go on to improve themselves, invent fire, weapons, learn to walk not hunched like a baboon, all that stuff.

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[EXPRESSO] The Substance (2024) | Perfect Yous

From director Coralie Fargeat (previosly known for 2017’s Revenge), The Substance tells the tale of a middle aged star, Elisabeth Sparkle, a forgotten movie star also known for her aerobics program that for her 50th birthday gets laid off by her dipshit sleazy producer because he thinks she too old.

Later she is given an USB key with a video promoting a black market drug called “The Substance” that promises a new, better, sexier, younger you, if you remember the simple rules the promo laids out, which include respecting the balance of days between the “old” and “new” you.

But worry not, this is not a set up to a Perfect Blue/ Black Swan scenario… not quite, because this is the kind of movie that takes that general idea and decides subtext is for the meek & weak, so in this case the premise is far more literal than you could expect, more of a body horror, entertaiment biz oriented pastiche between Dr Jekyll and Hyde, Seconds and The Neon Demon, with an exploitation style to it.

It’s in the way The Substance handles these ideas that it finds a fresh variation/angle in tackling the subject matters and themes of feminism, the cycle of power and abuse, mercification, self-loathing, using satire as blunt as they get, with some frankly stellar performances by the cast.

The ending is a bit hockey as it’s an odd mash of references (in a movie that maybe does get carried away in tributing other films) that almost feels like a joke on purpose made to deliver a smorgasmboard of spectacular gore effects… one i’m willing to 100 % accept, since it also serves as the perfect cap of a story about self-destructive spirals and excess.

Regardless, it’s one hell of a ride i highly recommend.