Blue Demon (2004) [REVIEW] | El Tiburon Pasa

It’s both banal and amazing how many shark movies exist, you’d figure there are plenty, but that’s not the case, there is an entire ocean of them. An ever-expanding ocean.

So much that some are pretty much to accidentally “fall through the cracks”, even if you own dozens upon dozens (almost thousand) of shark movies, and this one of them, found it at flea market. After triple checking i don’t already own this on DVD under a different name or it’s available to stream on Netflix or something, that is.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

But no, Blue Demon is just called Blue Demon pretty much everywhere in the world, and somehow i didn’t even heard about it. Or maybe i did and my brain removed it to store some porn, i dunno.

Not to be confused with a luchador of the same name (which actually starred alongside El Santo in “El Santo And Blue Demon VS The Monsters”, we should review some of that eventually), sadly Blue Demon isn’t about a blue oni/orc, or an Illinois basketball team and his mascot, it’s about a shark. Not, it’s not a shark with horns, it’s one of those genetically engineered sharks, breed to be stronger, faster and more intelligent, all to act as anti-terrorist countermeasure (assuming all terrorists are seabound or fishmen in cohoots with Hody Jones). But they get out of control, so the people who created the sharks, a scientist and his wife, are called to stop them, etc etc.

The plot is as generic as familiar, as in, this sounds like someone watched Day Of The Dolphin and Deep Blue Sea, and wanted to cobble them together for the hell of it, regardless if it makes some sense or comes off as a random, badly coinceived mish mash of two better movies, like a child putting random things together in a pan and calling it “cooking”. To my surprise, this random plot-stew isn’t that bad, and the light-hearted comedical tone helps, from the lab boss’… “tasteful” office statues, the big bad cigar smoking sergeant that basically creates fog in the room he’s about to enter before entering it, the obvious red herring character, etc.

While it’s not obnoxious in its self-awareness, some of the jokes are outright mistifying, as in, i don’t even what the fuck the joke was supposed to be, some goofs are just… kinda there to carpet over a script that’s a bit bloated, with too much screentime dedicated to this cartoonish thriller about conspiracy, terrorism, and sharks used as war tools, with obvious betrayals and obvious motives that aren’t funny or interesting in any way, just plain annoying in some scenes.

Obviously a shark movie isn’t just about the scenes where sharks attack or chomp down, but since Blue Demon overstays its welcome a bit even at 80 minutes (plus credits), it could have easily featured more shark action, but then again, there’s almost no gore and all victims die in “on-screen off-screen underwater land” where they stab a bottle of bubbly cherry coke, approached by the obvious fake shark fin, one of the few practical effects. The sharks look quite bad, this time they look extra goofy to boot, the exposition says they have big irises due to genetic experiments, but i believe they made the CG sharks first, and THEN had to came up with an explanation in the movie.

Honestly, the CG for the sharks reminds me of the shark that chases you when you swim in Banjo Kazooie’s level Treasure Trove Cove. It looked better. Clanker looked better.

Even more, i’m surprised by how unfazed i was by stuff like a shark programmed to suicide-bomb an objective, i mean, it should be outrageous to even say shit like this, it should be an incredible “so bad it’s good” scene, but no. Ironically, some of the funnier scenes are those that probably weren’t really meant to, like i genuinely laughed at how the little girl has the braintrust to use the trout she just fished to distract the sharks that are chasing her dad. XD

In brief, this is Roger Corman presents Eli Roth’s Day Of The Deep Blue Sea.

It’s a bit better than i expected, but i’m surprised how it isn’t more fun, even with some absurd ideas. Slighly sub-par.

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