While i was adamant about never reviewing a Troma film again due to them defending Harry Knownles some time ago, after seeing the new Toxic Avenger reboot/remake i realized there’s no point as the company died years ago, the soul of it, anyway, and it’s sad that i somehow longed for when they were trash but punk for real, instead of pretending as they are today.
Plus, at this point, they have so little relevance left regardless, so whatever, as they have a right to keep trying to remake their old shlock classics (or do new installments on their old series like Class Of Nuke ‘Em High), so have i to review Tromeo & Juliet for a lark if i want (and so have you on this decision of mine, obviously), and because it’s that time of the year .
I was gonna say basically the same thing for the SGT Kabukiman review i planned last year, but that i had to delay, so i’ll refer back to this one for clarification in the future, instead of redoing the spiel everytime.
And i guess at one point i’ll have to do a full essay on Kaufman and Troma as a whole, because in a way it deserves more discussion that i’m giving it here, but let’s not get carried away, it’s time to revisit a Troma classic, their shlock loose retelling of Romeo and Juliet, with an obvious but also obviously catchy punny name, Tromeo & Juliet (still makes more sense than Gnomeo & Juliet).
Time to shit on Shakespeare, because why not?
As one would assume, this is a supersleazy, supergory, super sexed up retelling of Shakespeare’s famous romantic tale, loose in more ways than one, which means this time we’re in modern (as late 90s) Manhattan, and Lemmy of Motorhead acts as narrator to introduce two families: the poor Ques and the rich Capulets.
Tromeo Que lives in squallor with his poor alcoholic father, while Juliet Capulet by contrast is basically royalty, chained into her family home, with her abusive and overprotective mafia parents and relatives, but despite being stuck into situations of unrequired love each, they will found each other despite their families’ rivalry… and other things.
The main difference that comes with the modern, mostly white trash late 90s Manhattan setting is that the families’ rivarly is basically framed as a big mafia war affair, with even a detective stepping in as arbiter in an effort to avoid their mutual rivarly escalating to full on mob war.
Then it gets proper Troma shit, because the final revelation is not only that this all sparked by rival porn moguls fighting each other, but than Tromeo and Juliet are actually siblings…. again, this being a Troma film that doesn’t stop the two at all, we’re going full light novel-made-anime crap like The Irregular At Magic High School, we’re playing our very own game of Crusader Kings II and we’re gonna get that damn trait.
I would have been more surprised if the TROMA version didn’t end with incest as the final sick joke (which it actually foreshadows very early, to be honest), with the film conclusion seeing the two living in Tromaville, married with the genetic pool a bit too close knit, while Williams Shakespeare himself laughs like a madman before the credits roll.
The Lemmy intro were he introduces the families in Shakespearian verse is dope, not gonna lie, and of course the script is one where James Gunn, then a complete newbie screenwriter, completely rewrote the earlier 1992 draft, all in Shakesperian verse, allegedly making it even more obscene than before, though Kaufman following revision is what was ultimately put to film.
It’s about as “sacrilegious” an adaptation of a literaly classic can get, but of course we’d expect that, and i can’t deny it’s a lot of fun, the shlocky kind, but hey, you get what you came for (and also a great soundtrack, for my money), and there’s a lot of the extreme gore-n-sex farce you expected from Troma, even more in the director’s cut that makes the whole thing go on for almost 2 hours and a half (a bit too much, arguably).
What’s actually surprising and mirable, indeed, is that despite this version doing away with
a lot of the famous words from the play, basically doing whatever garbage you’d expect Troma to do with the subject matter, with over-overacting delirium by the cast (when they don’t ambush the viewer by actually reciting verbatim the more famous lines from the play) as they attempt shit like “crossbow drive-by murder”, to say nothing of the “fuck you” ending they go for.
Among the deep fried tampon greasery of it all, the fart laden tenderness of drunkard fathers with piss stained wife-beaters, the nuts shots and the yubi yubi cutting, there is a glimpse of the original tragedy that somehow emerges from the slime, from the folds, the random lesbian scenes, the cow costume, and if nothing else it’s a testament to how some stories can somehow survive even a Troma treatment, somehow still remain recognizable despite such a radical approach to adaptation.
Honestly kinda surprised they haven’t announced an intent to remake this one, since this year marks the film’s 30th anniversary, or that they never tried rebooting the intended follow up to this, a Jane Austen parody called Shlock And Shlockability, now would be a good time with the rencarnation and isekai trends to see Troma leech off those, but again, i guess living long enough does do that to your brand, even if the intention is still there and “pure”…
Wise Cafe (International) 