12 Days Of Dino Dicember #47: The Secret Of The Loch (1934)

Time for an oldie, and no, i don’t mean Gertie The Dinosaur (though eventually we’ll cover it), we’re “only” going back to the 1930’s with The Secret Of The Loch, released in the very same year the infamous “Surgeon’s Photo” depicting an unknown, plesiosaur-esque creature peaking out of the Loch Ness lake in Scotland, which in turn made more rumors and sightings of strange creatures around and about the lake go around, so jumping on the bandwagon was thing back then too.

As the infamous aforementioned photo allegedly depicting “Nessie” wasn’t 100 % proven to be a hoax until decades later, it helped set up what would become the entire thing of cryptozoology, but filmakers didn’t care to wait, gotta strike fast, so the British-based Ealing Studios did, with Milton Rosmer directing this comedy adventure film about the Loch Ness creature.

The first movie ever made about the cryptid in question, which nowadays it’s a rarely used subject, but eventually we had films about it like The Water Horse in 2007 or the more recent b-horror movie The Loch Ness Horror. As in, the one from 2023, not the one from 1981 also called that.

In terms of plot, The Secret Of The Loch is exactly what you’d think it would be, and displays some irony, because it’s about a nutty Scottish professor trying to prove the existence of the Loch Ness monster, in spite of everyone else calling him cuckoo for that, followed by a zany reporter that wants to get the scoop on the story.

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Shriek of The Mutilated (1974) [REVIEW] | Have you ever had… a Yeti feast?

I teased it a couple of times, so why not, let’s go down deep into the yeti hole by fishing out cult exploitation crapfest Shriek of The Mutilated, a classic go-to for fans of the cinematic abysmal, a common territory for most movies about the legendary humanoid cryptid Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti, as the poor bastard it’s quite popular fodder for bad movies regardless of decade.

This is some primo shlock, coming from Michael Findlay and his wife Roberta Finlay, both infamous exploitation directors and producers behind many erotic and horror films, but i’d wager you most likely know them for the rather infamous Snuff from 1975, aka them riding the rumors around the existence of actual snuff films, marketing Snuff itself as a real snuff movie and making it about non-Charles Manson guiding around his cult followers into a killing spree.

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Dino December #5: The Lost Dinosaurs / The Dinosaur Project (2012)

With such a title and a plot synopsis, The Lost Dinosaurs comes across as a Congo knock-off, with dinosaurs instead of simians. So i was – if anything – surprised to learn this is filmed in mockumentary/found footage style, which i think it’s a first for these dinosaurs themed flicks. I wasn’t expecting a jurassic take on Blair Witch Project, of all things. I don’t like this style, i really don’t, but i have to respect the effort into coming up with an absurd idea like this, even if the movie turns out to a complete shitshow.

The plot sees Luke, an adventure enthusiast, secretly embark with his father and uncle on an expedition to find the legendary cryptid Mokele Mbembe (basically the african cousin of good ol’ Nessie) in Congo, and in secluded jungle they actually find animals looking like dinosaurs, thought to have gone extinct 65 millions years ago…

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[EXPRESSO] Missing Link (2019) | Le Tour Du Sasquatch

Definitely one of the movies i’ve been looking forward to this year (again, came out last year in the US, but not here), always up to see what Laika Studios are doing next, and Kubo was great.

This latest feature is set in 1886, and sees cryptozoologist ante-litteram Sir Lionel Frost respond to a misterious letter that hints at the possibility of finding the fabled “missing link”, and embarks on a quest, as finding it would also give him recognition from his fellow adventurers, including his rival.

So the search for sasquatch begins in the Pacific North West…. and then begins again when Sir Lionel finds out who sent the letter, and why.

The plot offers an interesting variation on the old adventures flicks where British guys went around the world to “discover” and “civilize-colonize” all they could get their cane on, while maintining the old clichès like the bar fights, assassins sent after them by the main villain that epitomizes the old world of arrogant status-quo.

Not that Lionel himself is that much better, but it’s all to feed into the theme of family and what comes with a ugly duckling type story, one featuring a lovably awkward sasquatch and great characters.

You can see where the plot is going, but it’s a fun ride, the character designs and stopmotion animation are top notch as you would expected, the art direction amazing, the slapstick is quite decent, too. At times the dialogue tries to be a little too clever, but it’s mostly quite well and smartly written, just throwing a couple of puerile jokes because it has to (being a kids movie). Oddly some of the funniest moments are quite simple, in contrast to some of the more complex verbal gags that don’t fully land.

It’s pretty good, yes.