[EXPRESSO] Death Of A Unicorn (2025) | Mediocricorns Out

Like i lamented in my review of Opus, this kind of satire about “eating the rich” has just about plateu’d itself into a modern clichè, despite the sentiment itself being more and more relevant, and Death Of A Unicorn just cements this further.

Even if it’s a killer creature feature mashed with The Menu (again, that or Knives Out), and there’s something to the concept, given the unicorn’s folklore.

The premise sees a lawyer bring along his estranged daughter to meet with the wealthy family he works for, but they accidentally hit something with the car.

That being an actual, factual unicorn, which is eventually discovered by the rich family that immediatly seizes it when they realize just their blood can do near miracolous things, and ignore the warnings of the daughter, who briefly but profondedly mind-linked with the unicorn cub…

It’s not that it doesn’t commit to its silly concept of “killer unicorns stalking-killing rich assholes”, it does so to the point its detrimental, mostly taking the idea too seriously while being stupid in a way that’s more exhauting and annoying than fun, the good cast can’t do much when these character are too fuckin stupid, it lacks some needed self-awareness, and it’s nowhere as fun as it sounds.

It also doesn’t take advantage of the absurd premise to make something creative with it, the effects are fairly good but don’t expect anything of inventive in terms of kills, for example, and while it’s under 2 hours, it feels longer, like they stretched a short movie or a comedy skit into feature lenght.

It’s at least a more coherent with itself than Opus, i will say that much, and it’s not awful, it’s just another middling entry in this already overdone, oversatured “eat the rich” style of satirical comedy.

[EXPRESSO] Opus (2025) | Modesto, Cult Of The Damned

A horror movie where John Malkovich plays a 90s super popstar coming back after 20 years with a new album and inviting a clique of media personalities (and a young journalist willing to make her mark) for a special preview event on his very Jonestown looking comunity/cult…

It sound promising, but honestly Opus it’s pretty frustrating, for the feature debut of Mark Antony Green shows clear ambition in wanting to tackle the modern theme of the “cult of celebrity”… but it does so quite badly, mostly rehashing stuff already done notably better before, for an uninspired popstar take on The Menu crossed with Midsommar, for example.

I’d complain it’s a thriller devoid of thrills as you know exactly that some culty shit is gonna go down… but it doesn’t really play like a thriller, going for a comedy angle of sorts that doesn’t quite work, as they don’t committ fully to that either. They do deliver a Chuck Norris joke (i kid you not), but mostly you’re left wondering how stupid are these people to not notice they’ve entered “Elton Jonestown”.

Aside from the main protagonist-final girl, whose actress seems unable to gel with the direction… but then again the film isn’t really sure what to do with itself, often contradicting its own set-ups for cheap sholc, the villain plans becoming increasingly stupider and the plot somehow even more senseless, making for a pretentious yet half baked, incredibly stupid mess.

What saves it from being as bad as Blink Twice is John Malkovic go full ham as the villain, basically “Elton Leto”, he commits perfectly that his performance alone makes it kinda worth a watch… but boy it’s a dud, frustratingly so, and maybe – MAYBE – a sign that this type of modern horror-thrillers its running on fumes. Just a bit.

[EXPRESSO] Blink Twice (2024) | Ass Wide Shut

An overworked catering waitress, Frida, one day happens to be working at a gala involving the late CEO (and founder) of tech megacorp KingTech, Slater King, whom resigned from the job after an unclear scandal he keeps trying to apologize for. Frida accidentally makes a pratfall, which piques Slater’s curiosity, leading to invite the girl and her friend (alongside many others) to an exclusive party on a remote island he just purchased.

Drugs, alcohol and fun abound in the neverending days of debauchery, but eventually Frida starts noticing she and others can’t quite remember what they did hours before, why they have scars or even what day even is…

A mix of Get Out, Don’t Worry Darling and The Menu, Blink Twice it’s actually none of those because it’s ultimately just an exploitation movie that tries to pass a pedantic overabundance of “style” as substance when in reality it’s incredibly superficial in handling his own themes, it just presents them at complete face value and calls it a day, while leaving too many question unanswered and with the big reveal… that actually dampens interest instead of rejuvenating it.

The good performances by the star laden cast i’d argue make things even worse, wasted on a movie that wants the praise of the auter by imitating other films that tackle similar themes, by feigning a wit that isn’t there, thinking that you just gotta throw ideas into the script and that will fuckin do.

For what it actually is… it not THAT BAD, but Blink Twice constantly pretends to be something else, it’s actually proper pretentious, while unable to make any point about anything.

Zoe Kravitz’s debut feels like M. Night Shyamalan trying to cynically (and badly) ape Jordan Peele, but even lacking M. Night’s earnestness and conviction for his ideas.