The Spooktacular Eight #20: Satan’s Blade (1984)

This is not any blade, old boring knife or fancy hookbill, this is Lucifer’s very own slashing “Miracle Blade as seen on TV” apparel, it’s the SATAN’S BLADE ©.

Once again a pick from my collection of Arrow Video releases of obscure slashers, this one being kinda unassuming, solid title aside, and one i’ve never heard before AV rereleased it with their usual quality restoration, sleek new cover artwork and bundle of extra contents.

Then again, it’s no surprise this is primo “never heard of the fucking thing” material for (re)discovery, as it comes with one of the classic production woes common to smaller/low budget films of the era, as in it was shot in 1980 at Big Bear, California, but wasn’t released until 1984.

So more regional US low budget slasher horror, which is almost guaranteed when digging deep in the layers of obscure and “actually obscure” slashers from the genre golden age.

Plot is pretty typical: teens arrived at a mountain resort, hearing that a double murder has taken place there the previous night, decide to stay anyway, unaware that there’s some knife weilding maniac stalking the icy, snow-dressed landscape.

And maybe it relates to a local legend about the spirit of a vengeful mountain man….

There’s a bit more but nothing that fundamentally changes things, like being two groups staying in two cabins nearby, one a group of girls and one of two young couples, a romance subplot about one of the couples, cops investigating the case, the usual.

The final plot twist is ok too, nothing that you can’t deduce easily since the characters ensemble it’s what it is, but i do like that’s actually pretty straightforward and not trying to juggle a psychological angle to play the “he’s a mad murderer or possessed by something fo’ real” game these, pretty direct, it relates to the legend and also closes out the bank robbery subplot that the movie opens on.

It’s also one of those low budget slashers where the seems of “budget cuts” are pretty obvious, like the teens travelling in cars to the resort are just them in distance with the dialogues added later, the victims themselves act and move like they’re spilling gallons of blood even if you can barely see any blood during the kill, and sometimes these are so quick (and hastily edited) it’s almost a “blink and you will miss it” situation, as this fuckin blade need to barely scrape the actors to create a fatal jugular wound, which is also convenient as it avoid the need to create more expensive Fxs.

And the final revelations is also done in that fashion because all that promise of supernatural mumbo jumbo would require a budget that here simply never existed.

But it’s an 80s slasher, so even if there are few blood packets to go round, we’ll use them for the kills, even if the kill in question is drowning them in the kitchen sink and somehow that immediatly produces “stab wounds” levels of blood in the water. XD

That said, it doesn’t really feel much like a 80s’ slasher, clothes, music and general sensibilities (alongside the film quality that even in this 2K restoration has that distinct 70a grain) still are very 70s, which isn’t that surprising since it’s barely a 1980s movie even by year of production.

Even the characterization doesn’t push on the teens being douchebags ripe for the slaughter, which doesn’t make for great characters either, they’re kinda boring but also unremarkable, a bit more realistic, especially in reacting to obvious dangers, i’ve seen plenty of stupider “teens”.

Gotta hand it to the movie having one of the best opening scenes for a 80s’ slasher, with out of nowhere an ornated knife flying through the air, getting stuck in a tree, and glowing in the color of “evil red N°1”. Genuinely love how to the point this is in setting the tone and title.

acting is kinda bad, as in, it’s not good by any sense of the word, it’s not decent, but i’ve seen worse, and that about describes the movie as a whole, because most of its elements are quite bad, but somehow they work together to make the film watchable and at the very least the movie, in spite of all its many flaws, manages to have a somewhat decent atmosphere, thanks in no small part to the piano score by Martin Jaquish (whom also doubles as the film’s editor).

And it has its moments, with the standout one being the dream scene midway through, though its not enough to overlook the many flaws and obvious cuts dictated by the budget, i would be surprised at the mild nudity if it required any special effect work.

Also, the details about the lore of the “mountain man” basically end up making this a very low budget rip-off of Friday The 13^th Part 1 and 2, heck, there’s even the killer’s zombie hand emerging from the lake to throw the SATAN’S BLADE © so the legend can continue, as the final title card cheesily and proudly proclaims.

The legend never continued, but i’ll say it’s not as bad or unpleasant as one would expect, it’s really, really cheap even for cheap 80s slasher films, it’s almost “so bad its good” in how it kinda works despite having bad dialogues, bad (but not THAT bad) acting, wonky direction, bad effects, to the point you’ll be surprised that – in spite of everything – there’s actually a semi-decent atmosphere to it, and it’s straightfoward nature it’s kinda refreshing compared to that two cents “mental illness or supernatural possession” trend, that cheap psychological parlor trick employed a lot in slashers.