The Spooktacular Eight #40: Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

Tokyo Gore Police had been one of my favourites of the Japanese school of 2000s exploitation high on splatter and sexual perversity, but it turns out i’ve never actually reviewed it, just mentioned it as as the “gold standard” for other films of this ilk.

But as i learned of Yoshihiro Noshimura’s passing earlier this May (his last film was Geisha War, released post-humously this September), by actress Eihi Shina (better known for her role in Miike’s Audition and as the lead in Tokyo Gore Police) reflecting on her experience working with him over the years… it’s time to pay my respects to the “Japanese Tom Savini”, as he had been called, and i’m more than happy to oblige.

Especially since Tokyo Gore Police is the first film he ever directed, after having been a special effect and make up supervisor for many films, including Sion Sono’s Suicide Club, the 2003 comedy horror romance A Larvae To Love by fellow guro gonzo filmmaker Noburo Iguchi, and even worked on the special effects for Meatball Machine, directed by Yudai Yamaguchi and Jun’Ichi Miyamoto.

After working with Noguchi again on the fx for The Machine Girl, Noshimura was asked if he wanted to do anothe movie, so he chose to remake his 1995 “short” film, Anatomia Extinction, into what would become Tokyo Gore Police.

Seems kinda silly to even discuss what this movie is about, given its title, but you would miss how and why “ze police” is goring all over the place.

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The Spooktacular Eight #39: La Croce Dalle 7 Pietre/Cross Of The Seven Jewels (1987)

I wanted to do something special for the werewolf entry of this year’s Spooktacular Eight… and then realized i had the perfect movie hidden under my nose, in a way, because in anno domini 1987, in Italy released La Croce Dalle Sette Pietre (lit “The Cross Of The Seven Jewels/Stones”)….. and by that i do mean it got a theatrical release.

In just 2 theathers in the entire frigging country, but if you were lucky/unlucky enough and you lived in Sicily back in 1987 you could actually go to the cinemas and witness what would become hailed as one of the worst Italian movie ever made, ever.

Then again, an Italian horror movie with werewolves, satanic orgies, and the camorra (a Southern Italian specific mafia-style criminal group originating from Neaples) was always gonna be a cult trash film, especially if made on the cheap and treated as an embarassing relic to disregard.

And with good reason, this is some primo trash that feels made for retrospective reviewers to unearth and poke fun at…. which the movie does deserve, because it’s so unbelievably bad it’s downright magical, it’s that kind of “so bad it’s good” you can never forget.

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The Spooktacular Eight #36: Snoop Dogg House Of Horrors (2006)

I gotta admit, despite everything (and he sure has bought into some questionable shit) i love me seeing some Snoop Dogg bullshitting around, so yes, have him do a ghetto Cryptkeeper presenting and commenting an anthology of short horror stories themed around an American inner-city ‘hood.

So yes, this is basically a Snoop Dogg licensed “Tales From The Hood”, which i discovered only after locking this into the schedule (and i’ve heard it’s pretty dang good), sorry but we’ll make do.

Yeah, there’s not much to say about the presentation, but i was curious when this showed up on Amazon Prime Video and for some reason has an anime-esque style animated prologue… and yes, it’s because it customary for horror anthologies (as this way they also tribute the old horror comics these films often base their material on), but i was also right, because the animated intro and outro are animated by renowned anime studio MADHOUSE.

Kinda funny because this also predates their work on The Boondocks, though these sequences are stylish but they’re not well animated, let’s be honest, most likely as they were done on the extra cheap, which wouldn’t surprise me, since it’s indicative of the production as a whole.

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The Spooktacular Eight #35: The Monster Of Piedras Blancas (1959)

The 50s were the new golden age of classic monsters… and a lot of stinkers, cheesy drive-in stuffers, often made to profit off each other.

This is case for the when Universal created a new monster icon, the aquatic Gill Man, in 1954’s Creature From The Black Lagoon, and while it’s not the more revisited of the classic “50 monster pantheon”, it created an enduring depiction of the “fish man” monster.

Riding the success of the 1954 debut film for the Gill Man, Universal pumped out two sequels the following years, to mixed reception, but when you have a successful trilogy, you attract imitators.

This is the tale of its most infamous drive-in knock off, The Monster Of Piedras Blancas.

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The Spooktacular Eight #34: Violent Shit (1989)

Ah yes, the other German horror director from the age of video nasties, of when video recording technology becoming affordable alongside a cheap and affordable format for home usage led to some people just shooting the shit on the digital camcorder in their hometown on very low budgets.

I will come forward and admit i haven’t seen any of Andrea Schnass films, i’m quite familiar with Jorg Buttgeireit works on the flipside, but i felt it made sense to start tackling his fellow German DIY horror director, starting from his most well known film, the original Violent Shit, which spawned few sequels, and make clear once more than censorship of this kind will be at best circumnvented, at worst will just force fans of the genre to do what many German horror fans did back in the “video nasty” age, just straight started making these themselves in their backyards.

Figures we eventually feature Schnaas, and i don’t think i did fill the “80s German ultra splatter low budget slasher” slot in my bingo card before on this rubric.

So what is the plot of Violent Shit?

A boy, Karl, comes home a bit late, he gets beat up by his mother, then in revenge murders her with a cleaver.

20 years later, Karl is being moved from his prison to somewhere else by the police, but kills the officers, manages to escape, and with a cleaver (which i guess is a thing growing wild in the Gothic II forests) he goes on a killing spree on the West German countryside, indulging himself in some cannibalism while he’s at it.

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The Spooktacular Eight #33: Spawn (1997)

2004’s live action Devilman, consider yourself spared, as this year (due to recent events contributing to schedule changes) we’re doing instead 1997’s Spawn.

I did got the Blu Ray release by Arrow Video, and it was still in its factory wrap, so time to…. actually visit for the first time, i never saw this in theathers or TV, i was too young back then, my first time seeing Spawn at all was when Soul Calibur II console ports released and the X-Box version got him as the console exclusive guest character.

But it was hard not to hear about in the 2000s as one of the worst comic book films ever, an infamous reputation so widespread and radicated, a stink to it that even The Venture Bros couldn’t resist throwing a jab at it in late 2009-2010, a foul reputation that never really went away.

And just putting this out, i wasn’t aware until i decided to swap this into the 2004 Devilman‘s slot that they’ve been trying to reboot the brand with a new film for decades, and apparently this time around it most likely will happen, we got recent news of the reboot coming along… or maybe it won’t, as the superhero genre is well past his peak in terms of popularity.

I will not claim any responsability over that either way.

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The Spooktacular Eight #32: Saint Maud (2019)

I guess it’s a new tradition for the rubric to end on something “nun themed”, but we’re doing something a bit more recent this time too, with 2019’s Saint Maud.

Again, like i said in the Possessor review, it might feel like a lifetime ago due to the pandemic, but yes, 2019 is recent in my book, and i wanted to check this out in cinemas (even more as it got really good critical reception) but it never came out here, so i imported a UK Bluray and we’re finally getting to it now.

The premise sees a nurse named Katie fail to save the life of a patient in her care, which prompts her to quit, only to return sometime later, calling herself Maud, as a devout Catholic working again as anurse, for a private paliative care in an English seaside town.

One day she gets tasked to care for Amanda, a hedonistic dancer who’s got a terminal stage four case of lymphoma (as in: cancer), who starts fearing for the black nothing awaiting her after death, making Maud believe that God has tasked her to comfort and convert an atheist’s soul, becoming obsessed with saving her from damnation, at all costs..

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The Spooktacular Eight #31: Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

As an Italian, it always tickled me silly how back in the late 2000s EA’s idea for competiting with Sony’s God Of War franchise was to pillage The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri and basically transform it into a power fantasy action game about saving a damsel in distress, which happens to be done by traversing Hell as described by the Tuscanian poet.

I guess because it was a well known public domain literary work that would also work as a quick and dirty band-aid to feign some refinement, and to be honest everyone was jumping on the hack n slash action game bandwagon at the time, so of course EA would have tried their hands at it.

Still feels fuckin random because they could just have made a Roman Empire themed hack n slash, but i guess they couldn’t push a marketing campaign literally encouraging to “go to hell” and the “sin to win” marketing shizzle.

I’m not even offended because this is so fuckin american it’s hilarious, i mean, sure, it’s based on Alighieri’s first book of The Divine Comedy as in it has the concept of venturing through Hell, it has a guy named Dante, a gal named Beatrice, and The Devil(TM) sure, it’s the same thing.

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The Spooktacular Eight # 30: Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead (2012)

Can’t believe we’re finally doing this, but after post-poning it for years and basically featuring every other Noburo Iguchi film, it’s time to go deeper into the septic tank with one of the lesser known films from the well known (among the expected circles) gonzo gorefest-pink film-tokusatsu extraordinarie director, his Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead.

What a fuckin title. Can’t say you didn’t know what it was about when you walked in.

I would love to play the “what has this blog gone to?” bit more but i was this close to feature Monsturd in a previous Spooktacular Eight, but didn’t, not yet, hope this literal zombie shit fest will do as i also consider it kinda the “cut off” film for Iguchi, even though he didn’t actually stop making films like these, heck, the same year as Zombie Ass he also directed the aptly titled segment “Fart” for ABCs Of Death, and his last movie is 2023’s romance anthology Tales Of Bliss And Heresy.

So while his career didn’t die, i guess the foreign fan and specialized press interest around japanese horror gorefest with ludicrous premises, excessive displays and absurd special effects kinda petered out around that time, and i would assume this would be the case in Japan too, though that didn’t stop other directors to put out similar stuff like Bloody Delinquent Chainsaw Girls live action adaptation (which i didn’t know got two sequels in 2019, taking notes).

Enough foreplay, what is Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead about?

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The Spooktacular Eight #29: The Beast With Five Fingers (1946)

Something else we never covered here in Spooktacular Eight (or the blog, if i remember correctly), the “killer hand subgenre” of horror.

Ok, “subgenre” is being very generous, “microgenre” is more correct, as there’s notmuch to cover, “Hand” from the Addams Family doesn’t count, so it’s mostly this (kinda, not really, for reasons i will explain), 1963’s The Crawling Hand, 1981’s The Hand and 1999’s Idle Hands.

No, ironically Manos doesn’t count either, so doesn’t the classic scene with Ash’s hand in Evil Dead 2, nor does more recent stuff like Talk To Me, despite a hand being relevant to the plot and not just a thing that happens in a random scene of the movie, or just a segment of an anthology like in Dr’s Terror House Of Horrors (1965).

But by that logic i shouldn’t count 1924’s Hands Of Orlac (of which this could be considered a sorta of remake, not the first anyway) or this movie either….but before that, plot.

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