Ghostbusters PS4 [REVIEW] | Bustin’ One Out

Quietly put out as a sequel to the 2016 Ghostbusters movie (the mediocre one people went on harassment campaigns for), this is a budget release through and through, but it’s Activision publishing it, so of course they sold for 60 bucks as its MRSP. Must squeeze all the money out of this licensed cash grab shit-turnip as we can before people notice or stop caring about Ghostbusters.

Or until we release a remaster of the WAAY better (flawed, but still WAY better) Ghostbusters game on PS3/X360/PC. Which just happens to be free on the Epic Store, i didn’t even plan this, but at the time of posting, it’s still given away for free on that platform/store, so i’d recommend nabbing it.

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[EXPRESSO] The Mummy Demastered PSN | Prodigium Posse

Since i got this on the Halloween PSN sale, why not?

And i mean it, sure, it’s based on 2017’s “The Mummy”, that turd of a movie that was supposed to be the “real” launchpad for Universal’s MCU horror equivalent, the Dark Universe.. after trying and failing with Dracula Untold just 3 years earlier.

But it’s also developed by Wayforward, who notoriously built their reputation by actually doing good tie-in licensed videogames (and kickstarting their original series, Shantae), so they could manage to actually do some good with the abysmal source material. And they did.

It’s nothing original, but it’s also a good little Metroidvania title, who puts you in control of a soldier working for Prodigium, the secret company dedicated to defend the world from monsters, tasked by the face of Russel Crowe (who plays Doctor Jekyll in the movie) with defeating the freshly resurrected mummy princess Ahmamet. The plot is basically a side-sequel, as its events run alongside the ones in the movie, so no digitized retro-Tom Cruise to see here. Still, the plot is better narrated here than in the movie, and it’s told almost completely via exposition dumps.

The 16-bit styled retro graphics and the synthwave music are quite good, and while the game doesn’t try to change much of the typical Metroidvania trappings, it’s far from uninspired. Actually, it’s well done, and it also has a touch of “Zombi U”, as when you die you restart at the last save point, taking control of another Prodigium soldier and having to retrieve your equipment and upgrades from the other soldier, now zombified, but still weapon savvy.

It’s also fairly well paced, a bit on the short side, but, enjoyable all the way, and fairly well balanced, not easy but also not impossible. Or too challenging overall.

Cinema Purgatorio

I wanted to see a couple of horror movies in theathers this Halloween (and also do EXPRESSO reviews of them), but from yesterday onwards Italy’s basically on a temporary 1-month lockdown of sorts due to COVID-19. Yes. Again.

So that idea goes in the bin, because you bet cinemas are closed, and i don’t know how many will even be able to re-open for the dicember-Christmas season. Then again, Christmas wasn’t gonna be that jolly since we’re in the midst of both a global pandemic AND an economic recession.

I’ll probably see what’s up on Netflix and see if i care to bother. We’ll see.

Stay safe. Whatever that implies for you.

Bunnyman Vengeance (2017) [REVIEW] | The Final Chapter

The third and final movie in the Bunnyman trilogy (which i couldn’t even import on DVD, and i’m not using a VPN because Amazon didn’t licensed it on Amazon Video for my country), according to the IMDB description, and so far this is still true. I think it’s safe to say we can all move on after this, and i will not have to review Bunnyman Takes Manhattan in 2021. Hopefully.

So yeah, the final one, the final Bunnyman movie, though the title confuses me.

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Bunnyman 2 AKA The Bunnyman Resurrection (2014) [REVIEW] | He Never Died

First off, let’s clarify, because this is yet another series with confusing alternative titles.

The first movie’s original title was just “Bunnyman”, and was kept in the film itself even in the UK DVD release, sold under the title “The Bunnyman Massacre”.

This one is a “direct” sequel, with its original title being “The Bunnyman Massacre” (with a more appropriate working title of “The Bunnyman 2”), and with an UK DVD release as “The Bunnyman Resurrection”. Because we are somewhat affectionate, almost nostalgic of this awful old trend of titles for movie sequels, laughable but oddly comforting in its own crap way.

Even if they don’t fit the movie itself, Bunnyman didn’t die at the end of the first one.

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[EXPRESSO] The Personal History Of David Copperfield (2019) | Paupers, Please

Based on the novel by Charles Dickens… one i will admit to be not THAT familiar with.

So don’t expect me to compare it to the many other film or TV adaptations of the story, i simply can’t and won’t. But i will describe the basic plot, just in case.

Starting at the end, the movie has David Copperfield chronicle his life, from his brief moment of idyllic joy visiting the family of his nanny at their bout house in Yarmouth, to her moment remarring to a a cruel man who exiles him to London, making him work at his factory, and meeting many colorful characters that live in similar if not more crushing and dismaying poverty. After hearing of his mother’s death and funeral, he escapes from the dismal life at the factory to his eccentric aunt, and her even more eccentric lodger, flip-flopping between the wealth of the “gentlemen’s lifestyle” and his past miseries coming back to him.

So, i saw “The Personal Life Of David Copperfield” yesterday… and it was good. Perfect casting, amazing performances, the characters are charming and memorable, it gets a good balance between the whimsical positive attititude and the abject squallor of the poor in victorian London (as you would expect), and the themes of class conflict still work, even with the whimsical tone and the over the top characters.

Quite funny, but at times its so enamored with his “british comedy wit” that comes off as a bit grating. Still charming, absolutely, but a bit grating and self-indulgent, even if it’s deliberately done. That said, it’s a good one from director Armando Iannucci, i’d say. Not great, but good.

I really don’t know how it stacks up against the other film adaptations of the tale, but in its own, i’d recommend it.

[EXPRESSO] Greenland (2020) | Family Fallout

Oh, yes, the indie subgenre of Gerard Butler movies.

For the record, i do like Butler, but for better or for worst you can often easily guess what kind of experience you’re getting in a movie just by seeing him starring in it. This is exactly one such occasion, as Butler stars in another disaster movie, after weathering Geostorm (which i didn’t see) 3 years ago.

This time things are a teensy bit different, as he embarks in a desperate journey to a bunker in Greenland, where maybe him and his family can survive a coming meteor that will fall on Earth and probably cause the extinction of mankind. So yeah, no chance to see him suplex the meteor out of orbit while clad in a mechanical golden god robe, but it’s a more realistic approach, and the focus on surviving the threath more than facing it works better.

Directed by Ric Roman Waugh (Snitch, Angel Has Fallen), Greenland sadly never rises from being … adequate, as it tries to focus more on the drama, but also has no qualms in compromising and forcing conflict so we can have more action scenes, or more twists, doesn’t matter if they’re dumb even in context. Regardless, don’t get locked into a conversation with Butler, he’ll get his way regardless if you do, even at long-range.

The movies tries to be better, but it can’t fully committ to either its more ludicrous or serious elements, decent to good perfomances can’t do much when the main characters are built out of clichès, and the movie wants to hit you over the head with the themes, or cheaply provoke an emotional response. While it’s perfectly watchable, i feel it’s a bit longer than it should, you could have cut 20 minutes out of it.

Serviceable.

Bunnyman AKA The Bunnyman Massacre (2011) [REVIEW] | The Ice Scream Bunny

Sometimes you get surprised by these low budget slasher flicks you can find on amazon for pennies. Sometimes.

But most of the times you get shit like The Bunnyman Massacre, which works quite hard to be really boring, given nobody expects too much out of a movie called “The Bunnyman Massacre” (technically just “The Bunnyman”, but the UK DVD title is better, and more appropriate, even if would become accidentally confusing), just some shlock for a movie night with friends, but at least entertaining shlock.

In case the title (or the title with a person in bunny costume holding a chainsaw on the cover) isn’t indicative enough, this is yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-off, one so damn cheap it skimps on showing gore. I could end the review here, but this one deserves a full “spanking”, and not just because i – somehow – expect to see Dead Alive/Braindead/Splatters levels and quality of gore.

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[EXPRESSO] Waiting For The Barbarians (2019) | Attila, Scourge Of Odd

Based on the novel of the same by J. M. Coetzee, Waiting For The Barbarians is one of the recent italian productions made with the international market in mind, with Robert Pattinson….but also Johnny Depp, who is still getting work, despite everything.

Let’s leave it at that for the sake of the review, ok?

Taking place in an indefined frontier outpost near the border of an unknown empire (even though they look like british frontier soldiers), the movie follows the story of the Magister, who is close to retirement as Colonel Joll arrives, tasked with security and gathering intel on the “barbarians”. But as he outrights searches these people to capture and torture them in public,tries to stir a full-out war, the Magister has second thoughts, gets accused of treason, etc.

And it’s a frustrating one to review, because there is ambition, the cast is good (mostly), but the movie isn’t as “deep” as it thinks, it’s a story about “the horrors of war and the monstrous need for an enemy to exist”, that is obvious right away, for every character in the movie… beside the protagonist, the Magistrate, who seems to be surprised by anything that happens, and makes you wonder how he can possibly be so absurdly naive.

Way more than he’s intended to be, to the point of it being laughably cartoonish and dissonant with the otherwise more realistic scenes of torture, corruption and.. well anything. And the movie is also slowly paced, like its main protagonist it spends ages yet again re-iterating on the beyond obvious messages and themes. Doesn’t help that Depp also plays a cartoonish “nazi frontier general” villain, even more caricatural than usual.

Shame, because it has some inspired moments, it really does, but in the end it’s kind of a mess.

Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave

To celebrate the western release of Oneechanbara Origins coming October 14th, let’s look back at a couple more titles from the series (i have already reviewed the first 2 games, if you’re interested). Due to even more atrocious time costraints, i won’t be reviewing Oneechanbara Z or it’s sequel, not this year.

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