[EXPRESSO] The Legend Of Ochi (2025) | Monkey Goblins Go Home

You know what, i’m not that surprised that the best A24 distributed film i’ve seen this year is an adventure family film (yeah, from A24), and not another half baked ramshackled “eat the rich” horror film for the pile, it’s something different, and honestly i was intrigued since the trailer.

Set in a little secluded rural island in Carpathia, Legend Of Ochi tells the story of Yuri, a farm girl that has been taught since little to not go out after curfew, as the woods not only hide bears and wolves, but a weird type of monkey-ish looking creatures dubbed “Ochi”, that the children are taught to fear, with her father even training the local children to hunt the Ochi.

But when one days Yuri find an injured child Ochi, she brings it along with her and goes on an adventure to bring it back home to its kin and – mostly – its family..

It’s a family film that harkens back to the 80s strand, especially Spielberg’s, but also The Dark Crystal, The Goonies, has definitely some recognizable “80s DNA” all around, BUT it also manages to make it all feel fresh, as it’s not a vision enslaved to blindly recreate those movies, the template it’s familiar and predictable, but the lore and the style is unique enough to set it apart from another cynical attempt at milking the 80s nostalgia cow it sounds like.

It’s beautifully shot and presented very well, it’s not padded at all, and honestly i was beyond impressed by the effects for the Ochi creatures, as there’s allegedly not an ounce of CGI, it’s just puppetry, god-tier puppetry that it actually makes one genuinely wonder “how they do that?”, capturing the often fabled feeling “movie magic”.

That alone is already a miracle in itself.

Elves (1989) [REVIEW] | Nazicest Gobbo-Grizzly Conspiracy

This is a quasi-well known one, it has a certain reputation, but i’m willing to cover it anyway because it’s still one of the strangest fuckin horror film i’ve ever seen, it’s still unique, as in “who the hell comes up with this stuff” kind of unique, sure as shit there’s nothing quite as absurd, even with the plenty batshit delirium that comes with vintage holiday horror films, Christmas related or not.

It’s just not everyday you get a movie about Christmas elves that’s also about Nazis, has a demonic conspiracy to breed the Aryan “Master Race” which involves incest and blood rituals, and just calling it “Elves” it’s a great Trojan-horsing manouver, how the fuck can one expect this level of obscene and absurd with such a simple, direct title?

It’s a deranged mish mash in many ways than you both and would not assume, because you’d expect a creature feature movie following in the vein of Gremlins, like Critters, Ghoulies, Munchies… and to an extend that is correct, as we’ll see later.

Strap in, because we’re in for quite the ride, one that Dan Haggerty (of The Life and Times Of Grizzly Adams’ fame) wasn’t happy to partake in one bit, despite being the protagonist, as sometimes you can almost see his genuine stunned yet unamused, baffled reaction to the dialogues he’s forced to hear coming from the other actors’ mouths.

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Eight Legged Freaks AKA Arac Attack (2002) [REVIEW] | Barrel O’ Fun

While it’s one of the more famous B-movie about spiders and most of you it’s most likely quite familiar with it, i wanted to feature a good, fun one about giant spiders, and i feel it’s worth talking about it again, especially for newer generations, as this still holds up in hindsight.

The fundamental value it’s that Eight Legged Freaks it’s a homage to the 50’s monster movies made with affection, deep affection, and unlike some of the modern b-movies that are shit at the core and try to pass off their own cynical uninspired slob as “comedic”, this is an actual horror comedy that fully embraces, understands and playfully uses the many cliches of giant monster movies.

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