[EXPRESSO] The Ritual (2025) | Al Pacino, Exorcist

Oh look, another exorcism movie…. BUT WAIT, this one has Al Pacino as an exorcist (and Dan Stevens as the head priest) in it!

…. i mean, that’s about the best selling point it has, but i want to make clear this isn’t a bad film.

It’s just another one. Sure, it is based on the 1928 exorcism of Emma Schmidt, one of the more documented cases of this kind, but that barely matters, as “based on real events” for exorcism movies feels like saying “the new first openly LBGT-ish Disney character” by now.

No point in discussing the plot, it’s what you expect by now: woman that seems possessed but has been unable to be helped by medical science is carried to a convent, where they call an exorcist in order to save her soul, attempting to do so in a series of rituals. The demon talks in Latin and other languages, pukes, abuses the woman’s body, the head priest aiding “Al Exorcino” has emotional baggage that makes his faith waver, etc etc.

Really nothing that you haven’t seen before, at all.

And while i do struggle to think how exorcism movie could innovate or improve… this one on one hand feels a bit more grounded and it not going for the cheap jumpscares, but on the flipside even the exorcism weird shit is too familiar to make much on an impact, and not extreme to satisfy horror fans that wanna see something more gruesome or weird or outthere.

Again, i feel this horror subgenre has nothing left to say, but i will admit this ain’t bad, i found myself more involved by the end than i would have expected, the acting is better than usual, the cast is too, but it’s too formulaic and forgettable to recommend.

The Spooktacular Eight #24: Mother Joan Of The Angels (1961)

Let’s conclude this year’s Spooktacular Eight by reviewing the 1960 Polish classic Mother Joan Of The Angels, also known as The Devil And The Nun.

Based on the real, documented case of demonic possession (or mass hysteria, let’s be real) that affected the nuns and took place in 1634 at a convent in Loudlun, France… well, indirectly, as it actually based on a novel of the same name by Jaroslaw Iwaszkiewicz (which would later by adapted by Kent Russell for the infamous The Devils), itself loosely based on the aforementioned Loudlun possessions.

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[EXPRESSO] Here After – L’Aldilà (2024) | Facade Of Horror

I’ll admit i watched this only because its part of a national promotion on italian and european films, so the ticket was real cheap, and it’s an italian horror film, i just gotta give them a shot, regardless.

The plot concerns a mute teenage girl skilled in piano, Robin, as one day has an accident leading to her having a pre-death experience, as against all odds she comes back, only for her mother to notice that something isn’t right, as she worries someone else might be in there.

An increansingly worrysome and creepy set of events surrounding Robin force her mother, Claire, to confront her own past experience that marked their lives forever.

It’s not an ugly film, the Rome setting is nice and cinematography is decent, it’s a professionally put together film with mostly decent acting, but it’s also kinda deceiftul, since it’s actually a supernatural drama masking itself as both a possession/exorcism film and something in the vein in Babadook, parading some of the elements from both around to sell the facade.

And it is a facade because the movie is neither of the two, since it straddles the line but ultimately just stays there, deciding on nothing all the way through, committing to both in idea but not reality, so it’s no surprise the final result it’s an insipid compromise that satisfies no one, with a positive ending that feels more like a convenient way to avoid addressing the point of some previous scenes.

But the kicker is that, it’s also ungodly boring, so cliched it hurts and makes it an utterly predictable drag all the way through, making its 90 minutes runtime feel bloated, even more when it doesn’t trust the audience, so it has to spell out what else everyone already correctly predicted hours ago.

[EXPRESSO] Talk To Me (2022) | Ghost Hand Overdose

Curiosly, this one being distributed by A24 in the US is just that, a casual happenstance, because this is a South Australian production more in the vein of a Blumhouse joint, apparently by people that had some fame as Youtubers/content creators, can’t say i did know of twin brothers Danny and Michael Philippou output on the “Tube”, but this pivoting to a theathrical full lenght horror feature is fairly impressive for a big screen film debut, there’s a reason it has “done the rounds”.

Talk To Me is basically an updated, modern take on the “possession” subgenre, feeling a lot like The Evil Dead but really not when the plot is described, as it deals with a group of teen friends that start doing these rumored seances with a cursed hand, speaking to the dead and letting the spirits possess them for a short while.

After all, everyone is doing it and they get addicted to these “controlled possessions” like the ghosts are laced with nicotine (at best), everyone instinctually records these episodes with their phone and shares them on social media, so eventually the younger brother of one of the girls want to try, things go awry as the possession gets out of control, so our flawed but likeable teen characters will have to scramble and find a way to save the boy from the spirits…

The premise is far from new, and some of the themes are not fully explored, but i’d be lying if i wasn’t surprised by how good the scares were, to say nothing of the excellent gore and extra-solid practical effects, it’s reliance on long sequences that build on each other and aren’t just leading to jumpscare climaxes, making the most of the 90 minutes runtime and culminating in a great final twist. Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] The Nun II/2 (2023) | Valak Has Somehow Returned

No joke intro or sequel title mockery, The Nun 2 doesn’t need nor deserve it.

Really, one for the textbooks in terms of obvious franchise milking that exists only because of money, which is always the case, but while you’re hooking the demon nun to the device, you might as well crank out a better movie, try to pretend you care at the very least.

In reality, we get a sequel to another mediocre spin-off of the Conjuring films, one that really wasn’t needed nor adds anything of value to the overall mythos. Valak is back due to the magic of asspull writing, so we learn that she copied notes from Soul Eater’s Medusa, so it actually survived by possessing a guy working as a janitor in a French all girls catholic school, because is searching for (check notes) a holy artifact, maybe because Valak was a fallen angel, or something, the lore dispenser guy-christian librarian-priest is most likely making this shit up on the fly.

To stop it the Vatican hires back half the team from the first movie, because the priest guy conveniently died of colera offscreen in the meantime (the actor most likely is fine), so it’s up to the young nun and her sassy black nun friend to find and stop Valak once and for all… in a stupid fashion.

In a way, it’s intriguing how at least this one also manages to not be completely tosh thanks to some scenes (the baphomet does give it points), decent casting and budget… just meaning it’s another pile of strikingly efficient mediocre, despite being a pointless, unrequired cobbled together mass of horror styrofoam that’s also borderline boring and struggles to justify its own existence as a sequel.

Kinda amazing how many shades of monstrous mediocrity can actually exist.

[EXPRESSO] Don’t Look At The Demon (2022) | The Haunting Of Mika Melatika

Odd as it sounds, there are many flavors of mediocre, and Don’t Look At Demon is one i’m fairly familiar with, especially if we’re talking about possession/haunting movies, which i will dub the “decency skimming step”, since it has its moments that might make it a decent film, but inevitably everytime the movie does something a bit more interesting than usual, it immediatly undoes any “advantage” by retreating back to trite shit or to a jumpscare by a ghost/entity.

The baseline isn’t bad per se, not original as we follow the Skeleton Crew, a troupe that shoots one of those “paranormal investigation shows” and has come to Malesia searching for new content.

Thanks to the actual medium woman in their group, Jules, they select the case of a couple, Ian and Martha, living in a remote house that seems to be actually haunted. Upon arriving, Jules does not feel anything strange, but turns out it was true.

Otherwise it would be a movie about a dysfunctional tv troupe coming to Malesia to see monks hammer protection tattoos into women with a picket and not much else.

Characters are fairly typical, acting is decent though, and the movie using Malesian folklore about spirits (spirits of unborn children, in this case) does help to make it more interesting than the usual christian themed haunting movies… or it would if the main demon didn’t mostly act or was confronted upon pretty much how it would in any other possession movie with christianity as the main (or only) religious background, so it doesn’t even manage to capitalize on that properly.

On the upside the narrative is fairly fast moving, you get to see the expected possession gymnastics and telekinesis throws, and it’s just 90 minutes, so it’s not awful, just average and fairly forgettable.

[EXPRESSO] Evil Dead Rise (2023) | Book Of The ‘Burbs

I’m not the biggest Evil Dead fan, and i honestly didn’t see anything past Army Of Darkness (so i can’t/won’t compare this new one to the 2013 reboot), but since this was gonna be another stand-alone film (despite also being called a sequel to the originals), what the hell, i’m game.

And yep, this is Evil Dead, despite what people that saw the first movies decades ago and clearly don’t fuckin remember them at all will try to tell you.

It’s basically a modern reboot/remake that does some changes to freshen things up, by changing the setting from the cabin in the woods to a suburban slum, and focus on a couple of sisters that reunite just to be torn apart by the unwarranted summoning of a evil undead curse that originates from a forbidden tome spreads..… and also by giving the Book Of The Dead a new name, because i guess the Lovecraft estate did trademark Necronomicon or something?

But regardless, director/writer Lee Cronin did a very good job in trying to capture the spirit of the old entries (down to offering a variation on the static camera chase sequences), with lots of nasty gore effects, disgusting fluids – or worse – being vomited by the possessed, violent impaling, but also with a certain underlining silliness to them, not to the point of devaluing the raw satisfaction of knives to the brain, scalps being ripped open, eyeballs eaten off… it’s nasty but not interested in taking itself 100 % serious, as with the cursing provided by the Deadites equivalents.

Likeable characters, excellent gore effects, intriguing bits of new lore, and overall just very entertaining (while also being enjoyable as its own thing), with a lot going on, all well packed into a very tight runtime just above 90 minutes.

[EXPRESSO] The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) | Amen Amorth

It’s a day of the week of a month, there’s a good 40 % chance of seeing a new exorcism movie in theathers, and this horror subgenre is very overdone, so you gotta have some mildly “fresh” twist or idea outside of “demons or paranormal entities possessing children and throwing priests at walls”.

This one has Russel Crowe playing real life Vatican head exorcist Gabriel Amorth, (whose deeds were also featured in the 2017 biopic by William Fredkin, The Devil And Father Amorth), a younger father Amorth as it’s set in the late 1980s and sees him confronting a demon possessing a young boy living in an abandoned abbey in Spain, but with a plan that involves specifically getting father Amorth to confront him, a scheme that will lead the priest to discover a secular conspiracy….

Russel Crowe is great as a more “hip”, maverick-y and humorous father Amort, which is already scores the movie a good point in its favour, as we have a possession movie that plays it straight but also has a sense of humour, showing some wit and awareness of how exorcisms are often perceived by the non-clergy sections of the populace.

The other “twist” is one of the more shameless things i’ve seen written as a part of an exorcism movie, and one it’s hard to discuss without spoiling it, but let’s just say it’s no surprising this revelation hits in a movie that allegedly was partially funded by catholic companies.

Most of the movie throws around the usual exorcism repertoire, but direction it’s solid enough, the characters aren’t that great but Russel Crowe’s performance alone carries the movie, and there’s definitely a lot of spectacle, gore and graphic imagery (though some of the effects could be better), making for a decent, fairly entertaining flick.

[EXPRESSO] The Offering (2022) | Autopsy of Meshuggah Doe

One more for the recent subgenre of “Hebrew Horror”, which already gave us movies like the solid The Vigil some years ago, but with The Offering we’re into more typical territory, despite the change of social setting, religion and culture.

The plot concerns a man that after years goes back to visit his father, who still runs a jewish funeral home, bringing his pregnant wife along with him. His plans and good intentions are then shaken to their core when a mysterious corpse shows up, with an ancient demon sealed inside that soon escapes and has a synister plan for the soon-to-be-born child….

There’s also drama involving the man true reason for going back to his father, but that’s the gist, and it’s quite the decent one, but as i hinted at before, compared to The Vigil this one draws inspiration from its specific folklore for the demon (which you do get to see and looks quite good, some proper shitting pants daemon), but plays it far safer in terms of everything, and comparisons aside, The Offering has some cool demon lore but it uses a familiar playlist of tunes we’ve already seen a lot.

Which you can argue it’s not so much the movie fault as the possession/exorcism subgenre has been done to death and beyond, but if you swapped the jewish social background for the ol’ boring catholic paradigm, the movie would still be above average but nothing special that hasn’t been done better many times over.

I’m still glad to see less represented realities and new prospectives in horror (honestly i’m surprised no one still tried to do a modern horror movie about the golem myth), the acting it’s solid, but The Offering overall it’s just a decent horror film that plays it a little too safe.