Tag: Idle RPG

[EXPRESSO] Jo Jo Bizarre Adventure: Golden Spirit iOS | The Gachalands

Probably comes as no surprise to anybody that Golden Spirit is another pile of gacha shit… but still, i decided to give this one a try.

Mostly because i haven’t played one of these in a while and because it’s Jojo…. and starting off, gameplay it’s not exactly what i figured it would be from the trailers, and by that i mean it was sold as a “ tactical RPG”, which to me means a Tactics style turn based affair, this is actually a real time autobattler where the more pressing issue is positioning the units, so yeah, it’s another idle self playing borefest, the strategic hook of the Rush mechanic meaning very little, and of course the roster is infested with VERY minor characters, so you can gamble for the ones you really want.

Or hope you can unlock them in event story cutscenes…. some of which even when available will wall off content with 14 hours timers, like the Stardust Crusaders one, because the game starts off with Part 5, Golden Wind, the Jo Jo series taking place in Neaples, Italy and following Giorno Giovanna, the son of Dio Brando, as he fights to overthrow the mafia’s mysterious boss.

Hope you already know everything JoJo because the game never really explains shit, despite starting from Part 5….of 9.

While it mostly looks quite decent, it goes the extra mile of not just reusing frames from the anime for the story scenes (alongside recreating them in various styles), fairly common in itself, but sometimes passing those through an IA filter, making them look worse upon any scrutiny, too.

Its so utterly generic that you could have EASILY slapped another anime license/skin unto it… and i’ll just say it looks identical to a bootleg Jujutsu Kaisen mobile game, Jujutsu Malevolent Shrine.

[EXPRESSO] World Beast War iOS | Kaiju Klicker

World Beast War iOS

Sometimes i kinda miss the early days of mobile games on smarthphones, when the free-to-play plague hadn’t become the standard, the banal evil, and the market wasn’t infested with endless clones of what’s popular, insanely overpriced ports, a satured mess with extremely rare gems like Onion Hotel.

But still, once i a while i search or stumble upon some title on the App Store, and i give them a whirl. This one is about big ass monsters going on a non-trademarked rampage, all done in the cheap and frankly cliched “faux 8-bit” aesthetic, but whatever, the idea of combining monsters together to make new ones is always nice, and the main attractive.

The problem is even the “monster merging” is too basic to hold any interest even in the “short run”, because you can’t spawn the more advanced ones in the “lab area”, even if unlocked: you must spawn the very basic one and keep merging them manually. There is an auto-merge function, but it’s inefficient, and even seeing what monster you’ll get next gets boring and moot, because you just put them to automatically thrudge through dozens of identical levels.

Because this is actually a clicker game, the store page describes it clearly as an “idle rpg”, so it’s not fraudolent advertising, it’s just that even with more to it than just clicking on stats to upgrade so you can earn more money to upgrade stats some more, it’s boring and lacking any “hook”. Ironically, the fact that there is more to it IS an issue, as there isn’t enough depth added to make you overlook its nature, but enough to inadvertently expose the pointless “gameplay” loop at the core.

Even as a timewaster on the toilet it gets old too quickly, and bootleg Rocket Raccoon just isn’t enough.

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