Krampusploitation is a-coming

This time i decided to make myself a present by not watching & reviewing another crappy krampus or christmas horror movie, so instead i’m reviewing (re-reviewing, i’ve done them for the italian blog years ago, but i’ve rewritten them from scratch) 4 Krampus themed/titled movies, all terrible.

If you wanna watch something good about the “Christmas Devil”, i recommend Rare Exports and Michael Dougherty’s Krampus, definitely not the ones you’re gonna see reviewed in the coming days.

And an Expresso review of Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker is coming next week, gonna get that done as soon as possible, i don’t particularly care, but it’s kinda an obligation, i feel, since i do what i do. Oh well.

[EXPRESSO] Knives Out (2019) | Ye Ol’ Murder Mistery

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The short of it: it’s quite good, as you’ve probably already heard said by many others, and i do recommend you check it out in theathers.

The plot concerns the death of successful novelist Halan Thrombey on the day after his 85th birthday, celebrated with family and guests the night before. Assisting the police in unraveling the situation is famous detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig), who surveys the interrogatories of the numerous Thrombey family members, scrutinizing possible motives and alibis, as everyone could have gained something, and the already complex family affairs are complicated further when Blanc has the intuition of Martha, Halan’s young nursemaid, being at the center of it all…

Here we have Rian Johnson (Brick, Looper, Star Wars: The Last Jedi) taking on the typical mistery murder format and – as you probably heard elsewhere – doing a “table flip” on the narrative structure and flow you expect from a murder mistery movie, but without being a pointless exercise in subvertion for it’s own sake, as it is still a murder mistery about a dead patriarch and his vile, grubby offsprings, after all, with a sense of humour (like the bit where they see a spanish dubbed Murder, She Wrote episode), an amazing ensemble cast of famous actors, and a tight script that plays well with expectations, and even if you get what’s it gonna go for, it’s still intriguing see the mistery unraveled knot by knot.

And, as a “plus”, it’s quite fun, well paced, and doesn’t stretch things out more than it needs. It’s not the movie of the year, but being just quite good is more than enough, and there’s very little else to say without going into spoilers.

So i’m just gonna share this unrelated thought: hope the new Black Christmas remake is any good.

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[EXPRESSO] Depeche Mode: Spirits In The Forest (2019) | Private Live

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Cards on the table: i LOVE Depeche Mode, it’s one of my favorite bands of all time, and i’d argue one of the most influential overall, and i could go on, but it’s a review and i’m no proctologist.

Many bands had their work translated into a feature length movie, often in a more typical narrative fashion, with a plot crafted around the history of the band and it’s members, but also in more odd, ambitious fashions, like the hybrid of animated movie and music video of Interstella 5555, or Metallica: Through The Never, which went for live-action story mixed with live recordings.

Spirits In The Forest goes for a mix of live recordings from the 2017/2018 Global Spirit Tour, specifically the performance at Berlin’s Waldbühne (“Forest Stage”), and private cinema, with the intimate stories of six special Depeche Mode fans, filmed in their respective hometowns, talking about how the band’s music impacted their lives and connected with them, regardless of age, religion, language barriers, etc.

At it’s heart, Anton Corbjin’s (better know for Control, the biopic on Joy Division’s Ian Curtis) docu-film has the typical message about the power of music to unite people regardless of the many barriers and differences life inevitably confronts us with, but it does so in a smart way, not focusing on explaining pointless stuff like “what is Depeche Mode?”, or why the band is still so beloved today, but on the experiences of regular folks that are fans of the band AND do have interesting stories to tell, personal stories from different realities.

They are presented in a sincere fashion, never becoming indirect propaganda, with a good balance between these recollections and the live segments from the aforementioned Forest Stage performance in Berlin, and a concise runtime.

A bit envious i wasn’t there, gotta admit.

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[EXPRESSO] My Name Is Dolemite (2019) | Rat Soup

Time for me to get some use out my Netflix subscription, and this wasn’t gonna screen in Italy anyway.

Shame, because the idea of a biopic about Rudy Ray Moore, the comedian better known to film buffs as his character Dolemite, starring in the eponymous movie and the sequel The Human Tornado (and many others), is a great idea. Especially the first Dolemite is a legendary and beloved piece of blaxploitation cinema, one of the few films where the boom mic is visibly in the movie more than the villain, and with overall quality rivalled only by stuff like The Guy From Harlem.

Telling the story of Rudy Ray Moore, an aspiring 70s Los Angeles comedian that manages to finally find success with his alter-ego/character of Dolemite, a foul mouthed motherfucker in pimp attire, leading to do some comedy records, which brings him some fame and money, all risked to make a movie about the character, in spite of everyone’s advice and good ol’ common sense (like a 70’s black version of Ed Wood, in a way), but Rudy is not gonna have it any other way.

While it’s even better for film buffs that already knew of the story, it’s an amazing portrait of a man struggling to make his name known, to realize it’s dream, and his ambivalent relantioship to the Dolemite persona he doesn’t really identify with after all, but can’t also give up. And isn’t exactly a flattering portrait, but it shouldn’t be, and the script has a perfect balance of goofy and serious, with space for more somber (and not somber) self-reflection, but also to lovingly recreate ridiculous scenes from the first Dolemite movie, with a top notch cast (which includes Snoop Dogg/Lion), especially Eddie Murphy who is killing it as Rudy/Dolemite.

He ain’t lying.

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[EXPRESSO] Gemini Man (2019) | I, Will Smith

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Based on a 70’s tv series i have never seen (heard the name, but that’s it), this movie has spent his fair amount of time in development hell, it seems. But even if i didn’t made some research before watching, it still would seem like a movie from decades ago, defrosted now due to the technology permitting to have an actor and a young, de-aged version of same actor on screen and making them interact in a believable fashion.

The premise sees Henry Brogan (played by Will Smith) as one of the most talented snipers the US government ever, now wishing to retire. The news isn’t taken well so he’s framed by an old aquaintance of his, that in meantime carried on the Gemini project, and unleashes a younger and zealous version of Henry at him, when everything else fails. Henry (aided by an old friend and a D.E.A. agent that had the misfortune of knowing about him) so tries to stop his younger clone and to steer him away from his path…

Technically impressive, with some decent-good action scenes, themes fairly typical of Ang Lee’s cinema, the movie has a good – albeit not original and kinda retrò – premise, and you want to see it fulfilled… but it never truly does. Performances are mostly good, but the script really isn’t up to snuff, it too seems unearthed after a decade or two, with some minor upgrades (like drones), and it’s the big bad problem here.

Doesn’t help that the supporting characters are… definitely there in the scene with a purpose, the romance is fairly bland (inoffensive, but also dated), and the dialogue isn’t anything to write home either. Pity. 😦

At the very least, it’s miles, miles better (even as basic entertaiment value go) than Rambo V, so… It’s alright, kinda.

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[EXPRESSO] Yesterday (2019) | Beatles Beatles No Mi

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Preface: i never saw Across The Universe.

I don’t know how much (or if) it matters, but keep that in mind.

I’m not even a particularly big Beatles fan, but hey, Danny Boyle at the helm, i couldn’t refuse, especially with an original premise like this. Jack struggles to make it as a music star between shifts at the supermarket he works, and despite his best friend/crush egging him to persevere, he at last gives it up. But he’s hit by a bus (coincidentally timed with a worlwide lights out, not a truck, this isn’t an isekai), and when he gets out of the hospital he realizes everyone else in the world has forgotten the Beatles and their music, it’s not a joke of sorts from his pals.

So he decides to use this miracolous opportunity to relaunch his music career by singing Beatles’ songs as his own, which eventually leads him to stardom, fame, fortune, to the success he wished for, in an inescapable spiral that Jack find himself trapped in as time goes on, because for all the others know, the Beatles were never a thing, which is fortunate since Jack doesn’t even precisely know by memory the lyrics for every song.

And i’d argue it’s one of the best movie i’ve seen this year. A great balance of great comedy, romance and music that tackle to the importance (or lack there of) of the author, the meaning of legacy and respect in a business that eats you and spits you out in a snap, with an amazing cast of hilarious supporting characters (his weed enthusiast best friend, his absent minded and mildly dismissing parents, and Ed Sheeran as himself), a satisfying romance that never gets too mushy or depressing, amazing editing and radiant attitude.

It’s very good, indeed.

Recommended.

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[EXPRESSO] Tolkien (2019) | Warlocks & Dragons

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Preface: i didn’t read any of the novels of mr. Tolkien, i didn’t knew what
his actual life was like, i watched the Lord Of The Rings movies. That’s it, that’s how much i knew before seeing this in theathers. That, and how the Tolkien family didn’t approve or endorse the motion picture.

So i didn’t exactly know what to expect, besides the obvious. And frankly you just get that, the expected from a dramatized biopic of a fantasy author. We start in media res when J.R. Tolkien is figthting in the trenches of WWI while searching disperately for one of his friends, and he struggles to survive we get to see his life with his brother and mother living in slums, then as orphans in the foster home of an Ofxord aristocratic lady that took them in, his romance with Edith, another orphan already under her wings, and his circle of friends made at the Ofxord university.

Tying this all together is Tolkien passion for creating stories, legends of magic and fantasy lands, great dangers and journey, even going so far as to create a new alphabet and language specifically for his tales, which carries over in significant event of his life and here is made to create parallel with his fantasy creations, and the struggle to make the unevitable truths of life better with the power of art, and how it lead to him writing the Hobbit, etc etc.

It’s got a decent-good cast, a very good scenography, likeable characters, it’s heart it’s in the right place, and it’s not like it undermines its own point or anything like that.

But it’s also a very standard romanticized biopic of a creative’s troubled life, it’s decent, fairly enjoyable, but, you’ve already seen this before, and done better.

It’s alright.

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[EXPRESSO] City Hunter: Private Eyes (2019) | 2019t Ol’ Comedy Hammers

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I wasn’t sure about reviewing this one.

I mean, ultimately i’m more familiar with Cinderella Boy than City Hunter (including it’s forgotten live action adaptation where Jackie Chan – also – plays Chun Li), i don’t have any real nostalgia, and i was surprised to learn Private Eyes it’s the fourth feature lenght for the series, the last in 29 years. Yeah, it’s been a while.

But why not, as here in Italy it’s the first of the new “anime for cinemas” batch?

In any case, you don’t need to know much (or anything really) about the series to watch this one. It’s an old fashioned action crime comedy, where we follow the oddjobs undertaken by private detective Ryo Saeba, the titular “City Hunter” (amazing shot and fighter, but an unpenitent and perpetually unsuccesfull perv) and her assistant Kaori Makimura (a tomboyish girl prone to punish Ryo’s perviness via classic anime comedy hammer), with some romance between them simmering in the back between cases.

Here, Ryo and Kaori are commissioned to protect Ai Shindo, a model who it’s being targeted for unknow purposes, which makes Kaori casually reunite with her childhood friend, almost unrecognizable as the CEO of the massive company Dominatech (yeah), and Ai’s father is involved…. Yeah, the plot isn’t really anything that needs further explanation, it’s fairly clichè, as is the villain, but it’s as good as needed for the main selling point of the movie: nostalgia.

It’s not a bad movie, at all, but besides some minor upgrades like drones (and the animation), it’s an 80s anime movie all the way, so much there’s a cameo from the Cat’s Eye protagonists. Which is fine, but the style of comedy is really, typical of the era whence City Hunter came from, and REALLY outdated.

Decent fun, still.

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[EXPRESSO] Stuber (2019) | Please 5 Star Me

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Here the floodgates have been lifted, so to say, and way too many movies came out last week in cinemas (hence why i missed Submergence by Wim Wenders, and why there won’t be an EXPRESSO review of it). I choose Stuber, mostly because of Bautista and Nanjani being in it, though the title is amusingly goofy enough.

Kumail Nanjani here is Stu, who alternates between his crappy job at a super store and his Uber career, trying to keep his star ratings up while having to deal with a douchy boss, the fickle variety of Uber customers, and an uncomfortable love-friend relationship with his crush. One day is called for an Uber drive by Dave Bautista (the character has a name, but who cares), playing a buff, grouchy and violent cop who is still obsessing over the death of his partner and wants to solve the case, stringing Stu along for his vendetta, who’d rather go to his lady friend/fuck buddy.

It’s a typical buddy comedy at heart, with two characters that couldn’t be more opposite to each other, forced to work together by the circumstances despite hating each other, that eventually develop a sense of camaraderie and mutual rispect, etc etc. There’s nothing new in this regard, and the characters are fairly stock, but deliberately so, with Kumail Nanjani and Dave Bautista doing the typical role you’d expect from them, the story is also clichè, but it’s done in a comfy way, not by making an half hassed parody of the genre, or a tribute, but just updating it for the “era” without misguided attempts to be subversive for no reason, or shame of being “just” a buddy comedy.

And ultimately, it’s really, really funny, great cast, fun script.

A fun crime comedy romp with Drax and Kumail Nanjani.

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[EXPRESSO] Il Signor Diavolo (2019) | “Superstition, fear, and jealousy”

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To most of you in the english speaking regions, the name Pupi Avati most likely doesn’t ring a bell., but movie buffs may remember him as the director of The House With The Laughing Windows, and this movie (title translates to “Mr. Devil”, roughly, and came out a couple of days ago in Italy) marks its return to the horror genre since 1996’s The Mysterious Enchanter.

Set in the northern Italy of 1952, the movie follows a ministry inspector, Furiò (yes, with an “i”) Momentè, tasked to clean the reputation of the church regarding the murder of a teen, believed to be possessed by the locals, killed by a fourtheen year old boy named Carl. As he travels to Venice to investigate, he reads the reports of previous interrogatories with the boy, learning of how Carl and his friend Paul lived happily, until the arrival of Emilio, the deformed single heir of a powerful woman, and popular opinion is that he tore to pieces his own little sister.

Paul shows off and publicly humiliates Emilio, whom, angered, snarls at him with monstruous teeth, and weird things start happening in the archaic small town, still largely beholden to supersistion and a tangible, fearful belief in the Devil.

It’s an old school horror movie, in many ways (there some practical gore done by Sergio Stivaletti, better known for his work with Dario Argento), with a good atmosphere, and it’s intriguing to see the inspector wading through the files and trying to discern the truth, wrapped as it is in a shroud of confusion and beliefs borne from pious peasant minds prone to burn the witch, all serving a conflict of religious and political interests, with an ambiguous but satisfying outcome.

Quite good, despite the “slo-mo” effects being a little too “old school”.

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