[EXPRESSO] Don’t Look At The Demon (2022) | The Haunting Of Mika Melatika

Odd as it sounds, there are many flavors of mediocre, and Don’t Look At Demon is one i’m fairly familiar with, especially if we’re talking about possession/haunting movies, which i will dub the “decency skimming step”, since it has its moments that might make it a decent film, but inevitably everytime the movie does something a bit more interesting than usual, it immediatly undoes any “advantage” by retreating back to trite shit or to a jumpscare by a ghost/entity.

The baseline isn’t bad per se, not original as we follow the Skeleton Crew, a troupe that shoots one of those “paranormal investigation shows” and has come to Malesia searching for new content.

Thanks to the actual medium woman in their group, Jules, they select the case of a couple, Ian and Martha, living in a remote house that seems to be actually haunted. Upon arriving, Jules does not feel anything strange, but turns out it was true.

Otherwise it would be a movie about a dysfunctional tv troupe coming to Malesia to see monks hammer protection tattoos into women with a picket and not much else.

Characters are fairly typical, acting is decent though, and the movie using Malesian folklore about spirits (spirits of unborn children, in this case) does help to make it more interesting than the usual christian themed haunting movies… or it would if the main demon didn’t mostly act or was confronted upon pretty much how it would in any other possession movie with christianity as the main (or only) religious background, so it doesn’t even manage to capitalize on that properly.

On the upside the narrative is fairly fast moving, you get to see the expected possession gymnastics and telekinesis throws, and it’s just 90 minutes, so it’s not awful, just average and fairly forgettable.

[EXPRESSO] The Haunting Of The Queen Mary (2023) |

From the director of Dracula Untold, a maritime horror movie that’s also technically a Halloween movie too, since it shifts between 2 (well, two and a half, to be correct) main storylines taking place on the titular ship, now sitting as a tourist historical attraction rife with horrific past events, like the massacre that happened on the Queen Mary during Halloween of 1938, where the father of a family of entertainers went on an unmitigated killing spree.

In modern times, the Calder family visit the ship for a business trip, but the young child comes across some of the ghosts that haunt the luxury translantic, and in an attempt to save the lost soul of their boy, the Calders enter the ship again to try and learn of his terrible secrets and centhury old mysteries that are more than “spook tour material”…

I was honestly pleasantly surprised by this one, though this lead to some frustration as the set-up it’s good, it’s great, it’s rife with potential but the execution kinda stumbles, with the direction being uneven and falling back on jumpscares or cliches even though it doesn’t really needs it, having already established a solid atmosphere and having some fairly tense sequences.

The 1938 sections are by far the more interesting, visually intriguing, and while the narration does a solid job in slowly revealing how the massacre went down back then and what it implies for the modern day events… these often aren’t as strong in terms of either story, action or characters, feeling overall kinda uneven, and some questionable choices (like how the “dream scenes” are shown and the direction lacking confidence at times) stop this one to being straight up good.

Still, as it is, The Haunting Of The Queen Mary it’s a decent-and-above supernatural horror thriller.

[EXPRESSO] Run Rabbit Run (2023) | Babad’oh

A new Netflix psychological horror thriller involving a mother and her child, looking vaguely Goodnight Mommy-ish from the trailer, let’s give it a punt.

The plot follows a single mother and her daughter, whom happen to take in a rabbit that one show up waiting for them at their door, take him in as the daughter really wants to, but after that she starts remembering events of a “previous life”, freaking out the mother and eventually digging up the family’s past, especially the mother’s late sister….

The latter part was shown in the trailer…..but it shouldn’t, as it basically gives away too much of the “twist”, as you can assume and by large assume it right, because there’s really not much to it.

It’s clearly trying to follow in the wake of Babadook and Hereditary, with family traumas festering into nightmares and dysfunctions as beholden secrets try to claw their way out of the darkness, but the movie just potters about the same thing over and over, looking good with an amazing cinematography and some great acting by the lead, but it’s all mood, atmosphere that belies nothing more than stale cliches that feel dull and pedestrian more than anything else.

A thin and predictable plot with mostly unlikeable, underdeveloped characters crown the usual mother vs daughter screaming scenes, bog standard “hallucination scenes” and equally generic bursts of violence, with the slow, slow burn to “reveal” nothing that hasn’t been already reiterated on ad nauseam by the movie itself since the very beginning, making the experience more tiresome than thrilling.

Plus it’s also very frustrating because there could have been something to this, it could, but the script it’s too afraid to dig deeper than the bare surface on any of its themes, so epidermis unbroken, the truth goes unspoken. ♫

Crocodile (1979) [REVIEW] | Thai Croc Jaws #sharksncrocspartdeux

Can’t get more basic than “Crocodile”, not “killer”, not “mutant”, nor “apocalypse”, just your plain old reptilian creature to not be confused with an alligator.

Which is arguably kind of a lie, since this is an obscure Thai monster movie that was made – in unison – “to ride Jaws’ coat-tail”. I don’t even do this on purpose, there’s that big a chance even killer croc movies somehow can be linked back to it, either due to the decade of their release or the basic plot structure and popularized cliches.

Often it’s both, as “Crocodile” was released just years after Jaws rocked the box office, AND the plot it’s virtually identical… or is it?

Not to be confused with a 1978’s Korean movie also with the international title of “Crocodile”, from which this 1979 Thai film is edited from… and by that i’d say it borrows some stock footage from the 1978 one, i don’t know to what extend, since i couldn’t find a copy of the 1978’s film, because i do believe these are two different – yet almost identical sounding – movies, not one and the same.

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Dagon (2001) [REVIEW] | Shadow Over Galicia

Dagon, my sweet Dagon, oh what foul stench thou emits,

enough to make one sad at how it all went once again amiss,

cursed indeed by another Elder God these adaptations seem

of Lovecraft’s hate for fish supreme.

For the record, i don’t hate or begrudge Stuart Gordon’s work overall and his obvious love for the source material, i mean, the Reanimator series was also spun from a H.P. Lovecraft story and that managed to work, though it became its own thing, i am more than “ok” with that.

I mean, for fuck’s sake if that story in particular needed to be scrubbed – in adaptations – of the obniouxsly blatant racism, you’ll need to clean the Lovecraft out of Lovecraft “sometimes”.

But i also can’t deny there are reasons why fans of Lovecraft are beyond sick of the many adaptations that defy the thousand monkeys & thousand typewriters logic, and that somehow no one over decades has managed to adapt any of his stories (in films, strictly speaking) with success without fuckin things up, as in, completely destroy any attempt at atmosphere, deviate so much from the original story to the point it might as well be adapting another Lovecraft tale, AND making crap movies that are bad regardless of what author’s name they borrow.

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[EXPRESSO] The Boogeyman (2023) | Mid-Boogie

Apparently another Stephen King’s short story adaptation, which makes me kinda wish i did watch last year’s Firestarter remake, but then again, does it really matter?

I mean, we get a movie like this like every few months or so, and the title is apt even if it’s the most stock combo of laughable and generic.

It’s definitely “to the point”, because the plot concerns a therapist and his family, processing their grief after the death of the wife, only to be haunted-stalked by a supernatural entity that feeds on vulnerable people and feeds on their suffering, after a troubled man shows up at the therapist’s house out of the blue and is found hanged in a closed room.

Did i tell you the crux of the movie is about the sisters (a child and the older teenage daughter) bonding and managing to get over their mother’s death while they learn more about the entity and try to face it when it’s clear nobody else actually believes the thing to be more than a byproduct of their imagination? Well, you could have guessed that too.

What’s surprising is despite the movie being as stock, formulaic, derivative and uninspired as it seems… the execution saves it, almost shocking you that, despite the premise, there being no big twist to mix the formula, and – well -everything, ultimately the movie isn’t half bad.

Which it’s kind of a stupid way of putting it, it’s average so, yeah, it’s “half bad”, technically, but the characters aren’t detestable or too stupid, at all, the creature is shown fairly clearly, has an ok design and looks quite decent in terms of effects, plus the finale it’s satisfying enough.

For something called The Boogeyman, it’s a surprising enjoyable horror film, if generic, very average and throwaway.

[EXPRESSO] The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) | Amen Amorth

It’s a day of the week of a month, there’s a good 40 % chance of seeing a new exorcism movie in theathers, and this horror subgenre is very overdone, so you gotta have some mildly “fresh” twist or idea outside of “demons or paranormal entities possessing children and throwing priests at walls”.

This one has Russel Crowe playing real life Vatican head exorcist Gabriel Amorth, (whose deeds were also featured in the 2017 biopic by William Fredkin, The Devil And Father Amorth), a younger father Amorth as it’s set in the late 1980s and sees him confronting a demon possessing a young boy living in an abandoned abbey in Spain, but with a plan that involves specifically getting father Amorth to confront him, a scheme that will lead the priest to discover a secular conspiracy….

Russel Crowe is great as a more “hip”, maverick-y and humorous father Amort, which is already scores the movie a good point in its favour, as we have a possession movie that plays it straight but also has a sense of humour, showing some wit and awareness of how exorcisms are often perceived by the non-clergy sections of the populace.

The other “twist” is one of the more shameless things i’ve seen written as a part of an exorcism movie, and one it’s hard to discuss without spoiling it, but let’s just say it’s no surprising this revelation hits in a movie that allegedly was partially funded by catholic companies.

Most of the movie throws around the usual exorcism repertoire, but direction it’s solid enough, the characters aren’t that great but Russel Crowe’s performance alone carries the movie, and there’s definitely a lot of spectacle, gore and graphic imagery (though some of the effects could be better), making for a decent, fairly entertaining flick.

Grizzly (1976) [REVIEW] | Plantigrade Peckish

To honor the upcoming release of Cocaine Bear here in ol’ Italy (and presumably other european states), there’s only one thing to do: talk about Grizzly… the first one.

Of course, i know, you wanna hear about the infamous sequel that for decades languished in post-production hell, until it actually released in 2020 (what a fuckin year indeed), Grizzly II, but i like being through, and the original Grizzly does have some history as one of the earlier and more popular/recognized Jaws rip-offs, especially for “having everyone in it”.

Just in case the release date didn’t hint of why this one was made, the theatherical poster sported the tagline “the most powerful jaws in the land”, what’s shame for movie marketing anyway?

And given the bucks made by Universal with that animatronic shark that often did not work well or at all, it’s no wonder everyone was jumping on the now proven successful formula, and Grizzly is no different, to the point there’s really no reason in discussing the plot.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] The Strays (2023) | Get Orf

Despite the brief description, this Netflix exclusive it’s not the home invasion horror thriller you’d think it would be…. kinda, since it’s clearly borne of the rise of “social horror”, it’s hard to not cite the obvious one here, since The Strays it’s clearly trying to walk in the path of Get Out.

And not really working for reasons i’m gonna explain after outlining the plot.

The Strays follows a light skinned woman called Neve, which leads a successful life as a vice-president of a private school (and a very white one) in a tiny but wealthy english suburb, and is overall well regarded by her peers, while she basically 100 % absorbed and perpetuates the mannerism of the white, rich and pastoral kind, having fundraisers for “less fortunate people”, not denying that they’re black but discouraging every aspect it might entails.

She is so immersed in this performative way of living that just the sight of two new black people in the ‘burbs is enough to shock and appall Neve, believing they “have it in” for her, or whatever.

The film tries to tackle themes of racism, class privilege, internalized self-repression, the set-up it’s good and promising, but then in the second act it kinda peters out as we go in flashback mode (plus the self-serving and unnecessary chapterization of events), and despite the final sequence being intense…. it just ends in a ironic fittingly way, as, despite all the things the movie wants to address, by the end it just quits in giving actual answers, undermining its very intention for commentary.

Frustrating, as there is something here that makes it worth a punt, the performances are solids, some scene quite intense, but the characters are lacking and the execution it’s disappointly non-committal despite intentions of doing so.

Pity.

[EXPRESSO] The Offering (2022) | Autopsy of Meshuggah Doe

One more for the recent subgenre of “Hebrew Horror”, which already gave us movies like the solid The Vigil some years ago, but with The Offering we’re into more typical territory, despite the change of social setting, religion and culture.

The plot concerns a man that after years goes back to visit his father, who still runs a jewish funeral home, bringing his pregnant wife along with him. His plans and good intentions are then shaken to their core when a mysterious corpse shows up, with an ancient demon sealed inside that soon escapes and has a synister plan for the soon-to-be-born child….

There’s also drama involving the man true reason for going back to his father, but that’s the gist, and it’s quite the decent one, but as i hinted at before, compared to The Vigil this one draws inspiration from its specific folklore for the demon (which you do get to see and looks quite good, some proper shitting pants daemon), but plays it far safer in terms of everything, and comparisons aside, The Offering has some cool demon lore but it uses a familiar playlist of tunes we’ve already seen a lot.

Which you can argue it’s not so much the movie fault as the possession/exorcism subgenre has been done to death and beyond, but if you swapped the jewish social background for the ol’ boring catholic paradigm, the movie would still be above average but nothing special that hasn’t been done better many times over.

I’m still glad to see less represented realities and new prospectives in horror (honestly i’m surprised no one still tried to do a modern horror movie about the golem myth), the acting it’s solid, but The Offering overall it’s just a decent horror film that plays it a little too safe.