Virus Shark (2021) [REVIEW] | Bad Taste Sharks

While i promised myself i wouldn’t review stuff like the Corona Zombies films (made DURING the height of the pandemic in 2020 by an even more more shameless and cynical Full Moon Pictures)… i still will pretend they didn’t actually happen, alongside stuff like Angry Asian Murder Hornets, but chance and curiosity took the best of me when i stumbled upon this movie while walking down the river. I figured i could at least use it for this year’s Shark Month, and i selected it for the title alone.

So color me…. not really surprised when i actually started doing some research and finding out it’s yet another Polonia Bros joint.

And no, i didn’t plan out to review so many of their movies, at all. It just sorta happened.

At least they waited until 2021 came around instead of shooting it 3 days during mid-2020 so it could be “shot” and released during the height of the pandemic?

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[EXPRESSO] Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021) | Monstrum Abruptum

So, this review wasn’t planned at all, not so soon anyway.

I was aware of the Resident Evil CG films going back from the early 2000s, but i never cared to check them out. This one just came out on Netflix as an exclusive, i decided to watch some episodes… and i have the suspicion this first “season” was originally a short movie, as it’s incredibly short and a bit too much “definitive” in its resolution than expected, let’s say that.

I guess Capcom went for the “Castlevania” approach, with a first season only lasting 4 standard lenght episodes to test the waters, and plans to eventually make more and longer seasons, but this doesn’t change that this thing isn’t exactly mindblowing. Again, at the time of writing (and posting) i haven’t seen the previous CG films, so i can’t compare to that.

But i can say that the dialogue isn’t good, often cringey and redundant. While the 3D CG looks honestly quite good, despite still feeling like a big budget long ensemble of cutscenes from a videogame… this first season barely does anything with the set-up, one oddly located in an early 2000s America where Leon has to stop a conspiracy involving a foreign nation and avoid that the US President (father of Ashley from RE 4) sets on the path of war against China.

It’s just so underwhelming AND short, not really an inspired or surprising script, even the action scenes and the monsters leave a bit to be desired. It’s not completely awful, it’s mildly entertaining, but it’s just so generic, uninspired and forgettable, even as a “foundation”. There IS something to work with, sure, but judging by this, i would expect more stories that barely interconnect and are resolved too quickly to create anything.

We’ll see.

Land Shark (2020) [REVIEW] | China Deep Blue Sealab

Not be confused with the Polonia Brothers movie of the same released in 2017.

Or the SNL sketch.

Nope, this time we’re branching out a bit and taking one of the many (more than i expected, anyway) creature features from mainland China that manage to be known westward thanks to dedicated users reviewing them, and the various chinese companies realizing it’s easier to market these outside of China if they just put the movies on their Youtube channel with english subs.

Like this one, originally titled Luxingsha (which translates to “Land Shark”, as you could guess by now) and directed by Cheng Siyu, and at the time of reading available for free on Youtube with optional english, indonesian and vietnamese subs.

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Blue Demon (2004) [REVIEW] | El Tiburon Pasa

It’s both banal and amazing how many shark movies exist, you’d figure there are plenty, but that’s not the case, there is an entire ocean of them. An ever-expanding ocean.

So much that some are pretty much to accidentally “fall through the cracks”, even if you own dozens upon dozens (almost thousand) of shark movies, and this one of them, found it at flea market. After triple checking i don’t already own this on DVD under a different name or it’s available to stream on Netflix or something, that is.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

But no, Blue Demon is just called Blue Demon pretty much everywhere in the world, and somehow i didn’t even heard about it. Or maybe i did and my brain removed it to store some porn, i dunno.

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Megalodon/Sharkzilla (2002) [REVIEW] | Karcharíasdontas

Megalodon AKA Sharkzilla 2002.png

Time for more confusing re-titling of shark movies, as there’s a tv movie from 2012 actually called Sharkzilla, but the old 2002 Megalodon (yeah, originality isn’t this subgenre forte, as there’s yet another movie called “Megalodon” that was released in 2018) was released on DVD in the UK as Sharkzilla, de facto just putting a lick of paint over a + 10 years old movie to fool people into thinking it’s a crappy new release.

Lovely confusion-based marketing, par for the course for this strain of shark shit, so much than in Germany was sold as “Jurassic Shark 3” (there no Jurassic Shark 2, and i thank the heavens for it)! Then again, i paid it less than 5 bucks, total, so… Continua a leggere “Megalodon/Sharkzilla (2002) [REVIEW] | Karcharíasdontas”