[EXPRESSO] The New Mutants (2020) | Teen Mutant Nightmares

FIY: seen in a theather in Italy with social distancing measures, mask and stuff.

Aside from the bad timing (at least for US viewers), i’m glad it’s finally out, as The New Mutants had a troubled production history, and was in development hell for years, enough that i wouldn’t have been surprised if some months ago Disney pulled the plug on theproject all together. And it’s a theatherical release because of the years old deal (Fox was still un-absorbed) that forced Disney to put in cinemas first.

Quite likely the truly last remnant from the X-Men movie series as conceived by Fox, this is an interesting proposition even if it didn’t have this unfortunate production history, because it’s a superhero horror movie, we definitely don’t get many of those.

The plot centers around 5 young mutants, who have been brought to a special asylum in order to help them get a better control over their powers… but it soon turns out they have been locked, to be studied and observed. The group will have to confront their fears and unite their efforts if they wanna escape from the mysterious doctor that keep them locked like rats.

A lot of articles drew comparisons to the Nightmare In Elm Street III: Dream Warriors.. which i didn’t saw, but even with some general horror knowledge, these comparisons make sense, in ways i won’t explain because inherently spoilers. But even so, in this form sponged of direct connections with the X-Men movie series, The New Mutants is a pretty cool movie that balances well the teen drama (and romance) with the superhero and horror elements. Teen horror, i feel the need to point that out, so don’t expect much in the way of gore, but you get some cool action scenes and likeable characters.

[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Masters EX iOS | The Rolling Girls (& Boys)

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I usually don’t re-review smarthphone games (i did an Expresso review of the game in italian soon after launch one year ago), but since i didn’t really touch the game after spending time on it for the review, i actually enjoyed it enough, and Nintendo feels the update is so big to warrant a title “upgrade” (hence the “EX”), i will indulge this time.

As one would expect, in time they added more extra modes and stuff to do, even Pokemon eggs (alongside the stuff added as part of the anniversary update, which brought also a new interface)… but they also added freemium elements that weren’t in the game at launch, like the “energy meter”, and of course more stuff for the gacha, and this game is one of those that differentiates between premium currency gotten in-game and paid. Still, they didn’t add lootboxes or more monetization system, and admittely the game launched a little bare on content, not broken or unfinished, but DENA clearly underestimated how ravenous gamers can beat in days what was intended to be consumed in weeks or months.

And i feel bad that ultimately Pokemon Masters is so reliant in the gacha to really lure you back in, because the gameplay itself is (and was) fairly solid, as it’s basically the classic Pokemon combat formula but as a 3 vs 3 affair, with some semplification to accomodate it not being turn based, and a slightly revised system of types’ compatibility. Along with new passive abilities for defense, it’s the closest we have to a proper Pokemon game on smarthphones/mobile, and it’s the better one we got yet. Surely better than that Pokemon Rumble Rush (RIP?).

Still, a fairly good mobile game i don’t really care to play with any sort of frequency.
Or give money to, honestly.

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[EXPRESSO] Tenet (2020) | Time After Time

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Ah, yes, Christopher Nolan tale of Batman against one of his most obscure villain, Palyndrome. Or maybe it’s a live-action Tin Tin adaptation in disguise.

FIY: i watched this in theathers with social distancing enabled, but then again, i remember i’m Italy-based, which happens to be kinda lucky for me in this particular istance. Don’t go to theathers if there any chance to get the plague, not worthy it.

So, Nolan is back into the game, bringing his lavish and twisting narratives into the spy movie genre, with Tenet, where a CIA agent gets recruited for a secret mission, launched into action only knowing the word “Tenet” and that at stake is avoiding World War III. Oh yes, also, there is time travel involved, so good luck.

Like most movies that center their story about time travel, Tenet has his own specific rules (outside of the obvious ones like paradoxes), which are unique, but are also a bit confusing. The script and direction by Nolan help juggle all the time travel hubba without leaving plot holes or anything like that, but at times, even with some choices made specifically to avoid them being confusing – or more confusing -… some scenes feel too busy, way too busy. Even so, it’s always quite the spectacle, even when you aren’t exactly sure what exactly is happening, a highly entertaining spectacle, the plot is worth watching unravel all the way through its 2 hours runtime, and you have a great cast (as expected) with John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Kenneth Branagah, Elizabeth Debicki, Hamish Patel.

Oh, yes, Michael Caine is in the movie for 5 minutes, being very british.

Good movie, even if at times confusing (not incomprensihible, but confusing), and with a tone that feel a bit too “composed”, even for Nolan.

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[EXPRESSO] Siberia (2020) | LSD: Dream Dafoe Emulator

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Abel Ferrara’s last movie, a German-Italian-Mexican co-production…it’s definitely a movie. That you can watch in theather right now (at least in Italy)… i wouldn’t exactly recommend it.

Siberia, to be fair, at heart it’s an Abel Ferrara movie, focusing on sinners and outcasts searching – with futile attempts – for some redemption. Here we have Clint (William Dafoe), going out into the siberian tundra and embarking on a dreamlike quest to confront his own subconscious and past in a non-cronological narrative.

Problem is, while none of really complicated (or cryptic), the movie feels the need to constantly stop itself to basically overexplain the internal conflicts of the character out loud, or have scenes that feel weird for the sake of it (in hindsight, a power drill killing scene could have happened), or made downright pointless in the long run.

Even when it’s fairly clear what’s going on, even if you “get it”, you will still want to ask what the point of that was, more…annoyed than actually confused by the imagery and some really random exchanges that don’t really connect to anything. It doesn’t help that – for whatever reason – in the italian theatherical version William Dafoe clearly isn’t dubbed, so he speaks in italian with such a BAD, laughable german-russian accent it’s literally impossible to take anything he says with any degree of seriousness.

This isn’t a nitpick, i fully mean it.

I’ll say this: it isn’t boring or predictable, but i found myself more asking if it’s really just a 90 minutes movie, not really intrigued by most of the events and what they say about Clint, nor really that curious to see where exactly the narrative is going.
Fitting end, i must admit.

I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that (at all), but i didn’t like it.

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[EXPRESSO] Gretel And Hansel (2020) | Coming Of Mage

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With this one i didn’t check any of the “discourse” or reviews from the american press beforehand, i just guessed it was a retelling of the Brothers Grimm’ fairytale focusing on Gretel’s viewpoint, and it’s not as gratuitous as it may seem at a glance, since Gretel is indeed the one to figure out the witch’s plan and ultimately kill the cannibal old hexe.

While many aspects of the story are changed or done away with as with the abandoning routine (among other things, but i’ll keep it spoiler free), the focal points are mostly kept, so we see the two siblings wandering in the woods in search of food and shelter, stumbing upon a house where a kind old woman treats the two to delicious banquets, gives them a place to stay at, and teaches them how to chop wood, how to treat illness, etc. Especially to Gretel, which might have the same epiphany as Ichigo Kurosaki…

It’s a horror retelling that leans even more into the supernatural elements, as to further enhance the absolute misery of medieval poverty, of sickness and dirt, and centers on Gretel mostly, basically turning the fable into a coming of age story, with magic, axes, great photography, amazing atmosphere, pretty good character and great acting. And as it’s the usual, any theme of feminist empowerment is made better by baskets of guts, with some grisly imagery that’s not overused.

The bigger issue would be the pacing…. i guess, Oz Perkin’s take on this fairytale it’s not a fast moving one, but it’s not that slow as other people seem to think it is, it’s exactly as long and fittingly paced as it needs to be, i feel. Then again, i saw people arguing this “actually” isn’t a horror movie (yes, yet again), so…..

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[EXPRESSO] Onward (2020) | Dad Quest

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Yeah, due to the COVID-19 lockdown, this was delayed… until theathers reopened yesterday in Italy, pretty much. For U.S. moviegoers, this will old hat, as the movie debutted there in march, but eh, what you gonna do?

After the fun but kinda pointless rethread of Toy Story 4, Pixar here treats us to a story about two brothers in a quest for an artifact to make their deceased father exist – completely, that is – for one more day, all set in a fantasy suburbia world of elfs, cyclops, goblins, station wagons, smarthphones and convenience stores, as technology advanced and made magic basically obselete over the millennia. Yes, still a better modernized fantasy world than Bright, let’s just get that out right away.

And there’s a token minor LGBT character (a cyclops cop), so token it’s made so by a single line, not bad or offensive, the character isn’t completely pointless to the plot, to be fair, it’s just….yeah, nothing to really brag about, given it’s ancillary status, but Pixar needed some social media icons for Pride Month, so…

That aside, it’s good mix of family drama and road movie, with some fun characters design, likeable characters (even if it’s another tale of getting over feelings of inadequacies, this time exploring brothers and fathers relationship), funny spins on fantasy and GDR clichès leading to some pretty good visual jokes, pacing is perfect, the moral becomes obvious but still feels earned (and the lesson at the end actually gels together with the themes), there’s even some action with swords and dragons and stuff.

Definitely a step up from Toy Story 4, and better than one would reasonably expect from Dan Scanlon, who previously directed that Cars supernatural-ish spin-off short…. and Monster University (the only review i still regret writing). Good one.

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[EXPRESSO] Ninjala NSWITCHDDL | Not Squids, Ninja Kids, Now

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GungHo Online Entertaiment’s ninja themed free-to-play answer to Splatoon, announced years ago, then delayed but now available.

Gameplay-wise….. it’s basically Splatoon, but built as a melee based score deathmatch affair (with respawns), with the ink gimmick replaced by the Ninja Gum, essential as you can throw it, use it to dash mid-air, to transform into an object, or to fashion a stronger version of your weapon. If you can get enough “gum energy” from the drones, that is, which can also be used to activate a super move, alongside regular abilities with cooldowns.

Given this is melee combat only, weapon clashes are frequent – if not constant – so it’s not good that despite tutorials with Youtube videos baked in, trying to gain the upper hand always feels messy. No wonder, since it basically boils down to a QTE guessing game. There is more to Ninjala, there are abilities and complexities to learn (like wall running), but after a confusing first impression (made worse by a completely unbalanced matchmaking), where you either keep winning or losing without knowing WHY, you realize there the cool ideas and mechanics are flawed regardless.

On top of that, there are only 2 maps available right now, two modes (battle royale or team deathmatch), but the game is already bursting with freemium bullshit: various currencies, gacha, battle passes, cosmetic stuff like hats. And a story mode..10 bucks/5 eurobucks for chapter. ALSO, there are consumable weapon skins.

Art direction obviously apes Splatoon and it’s pretty good (ditto for the audio department), but technically speaking is just alright, though fairly stable in my experience.Mind you, it’s fun, despite the messy gameplay (some really messy design choices) and lack of content at the moment.

I’d just buy Splatoon 2 instead, to be blunt, but it’s worth try as it’s “nominally free”.

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[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Café Mix iOS | Got Milc?

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Another Pokemon puzzle game, another free-to-play (or more correctly, “free-to-start”, as Nintendo themselves likes to call these games) for mobile and Switch, this time with a cutesy pastel cafè aesthetic, as you manage a Pokemon cafè, operated by and for Pokemon, alongside a human girl, who acts as a general assistant-tutorial figure.

This is done via puzzle challenges, thankfully not of the “match 3” kind (we already had plenty of those with a Pokemon license), nor or the Panel The Pon/Puzzle League variety, but in turn based grid-less form, with the objective of linking together chains of pokemons, in order to activate an ability, destroy special blocks, or because of a stage requiring a certain quota of Pokemon pieces/icons to be matched.

Each pokemon has a specific ability, a specialization for a certain kind of dish (drinks, sandwiches, desserts, etc.), and as you progress you unlock more critters but also more recipes and new expansions for the cafè, which in turn introduce new elements and stage objectives, with some random chances of increasing the friendship level with a certain pokemon, who will join the staff.

The gameplay is decent, but the more free-form, grid-less style of level design makes it too reliant on abilities and consumable objects, a bit too helpful in this case, especially because you can also activate them during the stage, not just before. All to push you into buying the premium currency, which happens a bit too fast, it won’t take long to realize so with the limited energy system, timers and the extra turns costing a lot of “gems”.

While i’ve seen worse monetization schemes and freemium economies, there’s also the fact i’ve seen and played way better puzzles game. This is a very cute distraction (with a tad manipulative freemium economy), but not much else.

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[EXPRESSO] The Grudge (2020) | The House That Kayako Built

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(finally got another chance of seeing this in theathers)

Despite the mostly negative reception in the States and the frankly stupid idea of doing ANOTHER remake of Ju-On/The Grudge…. at least it had to just be better than the 2004 american remake, and that one had the same directors of the original. Then again i haven’t watched any of the sequels yet (american or japanese ones), but i can confirm this one is a “side-sequel” meant to connect with the 2004 american The Grudge.

And this is the main problem, as it wants to not disregard the previous american movies, but also doesn’t want to rework the premise to make sense in a completely different place and culture, or to make you forget that this a western remake of japanese movie. So there a willingly suicidal tendency to this one taking place in America with an american cast (plus John Cho), but still having to originate from Japan, with the curse basically using a character as a vessel to propagate itself in a small town, where a local sheriff investigates strange murders seemingly connected to a single house, all told in a non-linear fashion (as you’d expect) with the characters acting as “chapters-victims”.

It’s kinda tragic, because Nicolas Pesce manages to craft good characters and make you care about them, the drama is decent and the acting good, but when it comes to the horror parts, you’d wish the movie didn’t bother at all, even without throwing into the mix the trite j-horror movies cliches, or stuff that “has” to be here regardless, just because it’s The Grudge. The open ending doesn’t help.

Definitely a step up from the 2004 The Grudge, but please, let this type of “reboot/remakes of japanese movies” stay where it belongs. In the past.

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