[EXPRESSO] The Dark Nightmare/Nightmare AKA Marerittet (2022) | I Would Like To See The Baby

Jokes about the generic ass title (which is ironically even more generic in his original Norvegian title, Marerittet, “Nightmare”) aside.. actually no, the plot is also pretty generic, concerning a woman that moves into a suspiciously cheap large apartment, only to be tormented in her dreams by an entity, with the secrets behind the apartment and the demon eventually coming out…

Yeah, we’re not starting off exactly with a bang, this sound exactly like the generic template for a horror thriller movie about the supernatural one would use to parody it or use in order to subvert expectations, but its not any of that, it’s a straightforward affair, which in itself is not necessarily a bad thing.

Especially since when, as the plot develops, things get a bit interesting, since it’s an incubus situation through and through, and it also basically goes into The Exorcist 2-The Manitou territory as well, with the involvement of a “dream machine situation” of sorts, so its worth sticking through the fairly bog standard set up and see it through, despite some hiccups and cliches, the acting is decent, the pacing is fine, the characters are surprisingly smarter than warranted, plus i do like the balls of having an actually ambigous ending that serves to intrigue instead of sequel baiting or “bad ending” for the sake of it.

I was gonna say that i’m not too surprised this was “dumped” in theathers here during a national ticket price reductions… but actually i kinda am, this is surprisingly decent, there are some solid special effects, and in spite of its deceivingly generic setup (and it being a bit too reliant on some clichès) there is some ambition.

Nothing great or unfor, but it’s better than most of the stuff Blumhouse puts out in theathers, for example.

Aquaslash (2019) [REVIEW] | Slasher Action Park

What a waste of time.

I could have made a longer lead up to that, but sadly this one it’s just a sour disappointment, even going in just expecting it to be an enjoyable teen slasher set in an aquatic park, setting the bar fairly low but in a way that’s reasonable.

Cool title, but i’m not being too hyperbolic when i say it feels like a waste of time, period, since 80 % of Aquaslash it’s build up for the slipslide kills, and by “build up” i mean a lot of exagerrated romantic drama with deliberately exaggerated douchy teens and asshole adults characters, and a lot of cliches, which would be fine if the pay off was worth it… it ain’t.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] The Ritual (2025) | Al Pacino, Exorcist

Oh look, another exorcism movie…. BUT WAIT, this one has Al Pacino as an exorcist (and Dan Stevens as the head priest) in it!

…. i mean, that’s about the best selling point it has, but i want to make clear this isn’t a bad film.

It’s just another one. Sure, it is based on the 1928 exorcism of Emma Schmidt, one of the more documented cases of this kind, but that barely matters, as “based on real events” for exorcism movies feels like saying “the new first openly LBGT-ish Disney character” by now.

No point in discussing the plot, it’s what you expect by now: woman that seems possessed but has been unable to be helped by medical science is carried to a convent, where they call an exorcist in order to save her soul, attempting to do so in a series of rituals. The demon talks in Latin and other languages, pukes, abuses the woman’s body, the head priest aiding “Al Exorcino” has emotional baggage that makes his faith waver, etc etc.

Really nothing that you haven’t seen before, at all.

And while i do struggle to think how exorcism movie could innovate or improve… this one on one hand feels a bit more grounded and it not going for the cheap jumpscares, but on the flipside even the exorcism weird shit is too familiar to make much on an impact, and not extreme to satisfy horror fans that wanna see something more gruesome or weird or outthere.

Again, i feel this horror subgenre has nothing left to say, but i will admit this ain’t bad, i found myself more involved by the end than i would have expected, the acting is better than usual, the cast is too, but it’s too formulaic and forgettable to recommend.

[EXPRESSO] Sinners (2025) | From Blues Till Dawn

There are movies that are best enjoyed by going in “cold”, by i don’t know if Sinners is one of those, as i can imagine people being confused if they were not aware of From Dusk Until Dawn having been a thing for a couple of decades (alongside some sequels i keep forgetting exist).

Because it is that, but done less as a deliberately disjointed surprise jump in tone, direction and subject matter, as it made to feed into the themes of freedom, black heritage and racial tensions, with the first half being a thriller drama set in 30s America, where a couple of brothers in the crime business, Smoke and Stack, go back to their town in Mississippi, in order to try and make some cash by setting up a juke joint, and they involve their cousin, a budding bluesman dubbed “Preacher Boy”.

The second half is them being stalked and having to survive when vampires surround the juke joint at night, and yes, its indeed doing a “From Dusk Until Dawn”, turning things straight into horror territory, with pretty good effects too and some very nice musical bits, lots of carnage, really good acting as always, especially Michael B. Jordan as both “Smokestack” brothers.

I respect it’s ambition and willing to do some out there shit (like the “future and past” visions of blues music), but the editing at times is frustrating, it kinda keeps going even after what would have been a good time to end the movie… twice, which is partially due to close up some subplots.

At times it’s a bit too much and it’s a miracle it works so well instead of being the utter mess it sounds-could have been like, but it is still well done, bold and stylish, i do recommend it.

[EXPRESSO] The Shrouds (2024) | Altered Feast

After premiering at last year’s Cannes, David Cronenberg new movie, The Shrouds. is finally out in most countries.

The plot sees Karsh, a man that lost his wife Becca 4 years ago, now finally having found a way to handle his grief… by creating GraveTech, a company that makes high tech shrouds to conserve and look upon the bodies of your beloved ones via a system of cameras and displays integrated into the tombstones. Mostly though Karsh can look upon his wife Becca even after death. As you do.

That is, until Karsh notices some strange matter growing on Becca’ remains, then acts of vandalism and hacking hit Gravetech, apparently by some Irish ecoterroristic groups, but discussing and searching for the culprits leads Karsh into a rabbit hole of potential conspiracies…

And i will have to say i’m a bit disappointed, i am, for reasons that might seem odd, as in, the director isn’t trying to shy away from the style of film he’s known for in its old age, quite the opposite, but even more than with 2022’s Crimes Of The Future, here it’s almost like he decided to crank up “the Cronenberg” to borderline parodical degrees.

But it’s so done in earnest (Cronenberg himself said this is most personal film) it’s hard not to be intrigued, to wanna see where things will go, even with the constantly slow pacing and the body horror/romance challenging itself to go even darker and weirder, i was into into it despite the issues.

… until the kinda abrupt ending, while thematically coherent it just kinda stops, i don’t mind slow burn thrillers at all but there’s no proper pay-off to stuff that maybe should have been answered.

Still decent and absolutely worth a watch if you remotely liked any of Cronenberg’ works.

[EXPRESSO] Heretic (2024) | Now Without James Earl Jones

Hugh Grant playing a cerebral psychopath with a vaguely Saw-esque bend wasn’t on my bingo card, but A24 did score another interesting looking film just by having Grant play against type in Heretic, and indeed it pays off, but first the plot.

A couple of young Mormon missionaries are visiting people that showed interest in their religion, but as they go about trying to sell their faith, they reach the house of a certain man, Reed, whom welcomes in his house, and slowly turns out to just as unnerving and ruthless as he’s charming, trapping the two women in a web of lies, philosophical debates and tests of faith, among other misdeeds that i ain’t gonna spoil.

It’s indeed a movie that’s more than the sum of its parts, because we’ve seen this before, with the charismatic psycho that traps people in its home, also uses his wits to mentally assault its subjects/victims alongside planning and thinking about every detail of his plans, the religious women whose faith is tested, but the choice of a more niche Christian subset and the more cerebral nature of the film makes is stand out, though fear not, you also get a decent amount of satisfying gore, it can be pretty stylish (love the usage of dioramas, i will say that much) and some good laughs too.

Also, while you do get an idea of where it might be going soon enough, it’s not quite that predictable and it’s the “how” that makes it intriguing, thanks in no small part to Grant’s amazing performance, as you know this guy is bad news, but yet you’re somewhat inclined to believe his words and acts maybe aren’t malicious or ominous as they seem, that – somehow – there is some sort of egregious misunderstanding going on.

Quite good.

[EXPRESSO] Strange Darling (2023) | Psycho Killer

Heard of this one but eventually forgot as it only showed up now in theathers here, Strange Darling is the kind of movie that has most reviews for it trying to tell you as less as they can about the movie and instead encourage you just go see it knowing as little as you can about it, because it’s impossible not to spoil the experience by going into any real detail about its contents.

… and it’s indeed that kind of film, it is, so the basic gist is that there’s a cat-and-mouse chase going on between a serial killer and its chosen victim, with the narrative presenting itself in deliberate chronological disorder.

After it tells you it was shot entirely on 35 mm film, which is great but barely will matter on most modern digital screens, but yep, it’s a psychological thriller loosely based on a real life series of murders, as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre style narration tells us about in the beginning.

I wish director Jt Mollner did away with “labeling” and just trusted the audience a bit more (though it’s increasingly harder to do so), especially as it’s tied directly to the film’s main method of subverting linear storytelling and the expectations that come with it, here used to tackle themes such as misoginy, sexual kinks, consent, genre prejudices, and so on.

Honestly while it’s kinda disappointing since it’s hard to tell if the movie isn’t engaging the questions it raises because there are no easy answers…. or because it doesn’t want to, i’m still more miffed about the aforementioned “chickening out at your own vision”

Even so, after the revelations come about, the movie it’s still quite intense, graphic and acting is excellent, so, if not perfect, it’s still quite the good ride, worth watching.

Valentine (2001) [REVIEW] | Class Of 1988

Thought i’ve run out of Valentine’s Day themed slasher to unearth?

Think again, because i feel i’m about to, but i managed to dig up one i’ve never heard before, not even in lists, simply called Valentine, released in 2001, based on the novel of the same name by Tom Savage.

1988, Valentine’s Day dance at a highschool in San Francisco, an outcast called Jeremy Melton asks out four girls for a dance, but he gets rejected. One of the girls friends’, Dorothy, accepts him, but when they make out under the bleachers, they are jumped by some bullies, and Dorothy accuses Jeremy of assaulting her, so they beat the shit out of him.

Jeremy is expelled, sent to reform school, then accused by the girls of sexual assault, and eventually is sent to a sanitarium.

13 years later, the same girls are stalked and killed by someone in a trenchcoat sporting a Cupid mask, all in the days leading up to Valentine’s, making them wonder if Jeremy is back, as the warped Valentine letters each of them receives are signed “JM”….

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Bagman (2024) | “I Know You, That’s My Purse!”

While i don’t want to preventively brand any horror movie releasing in January as “filler”…. this is clearly a holdover of last year’s that Lionsgate put out now in theathers, without much fanfare.

Funnily enough, it’s not even that bad of a film.

It’s the typical “boogeyman bingo” story, with a mother/father thas has to confront something dark from his past before it can harm its child, in this case “Bagman”, dubbed as such by the father, Patrick, that encountered it once before, and now seems to be back to stalk his family, especially his son Jake, etc etc.

I was ready to joke about how the parents are so stupid they might as well wear t-shirts with “postnatal abortion supporter” written on it.. but they’re not even that dumb, to be honest, the promise has some potential, it’s technically well put together, but.. it’s also EXACTLY the kind of movie you get from the “The [noun/adjective] Man” joke.

On the positive side it’s not boring, it’s short, the acting is decent, there is some ok atmosphere to it all, i kinda like the villain…but the pacing is all over the place, the plot just kinda scatters about, the jumpscares are limp, the characters just eventually become too conviently stupid even for the genre, and you’ll more likely be startled and annoyed by sudden deafining bullshit, like the one the kid makes with its forsaken flute.

Honestly, it’s about what i expected going on, though there was actually something to work off with here to actually make for a ok or decent film, but it all gets lost in generic horror tropes and cliches.

I will have to go with a “slightly subpar” rating because it’s too generic and doesn’t really add anything worthwhile or novel to the bogeyman formula.

[EXPRESSO] Wolf Man (2025) | “Get away you weirdo monkey man!!”

Leigh Whannell continues his “remake rumpus” of the classic monsters following up his 2020 releaed The Invisible Man (and the whole Dark Universe failure) with his take on the Wolf Man.

The story revolves around a family on vacation in a house in the woods of Oregon, with the father trying to use the unfortunate circumstances that brought them there in order to mend his strained family situation, then being bitten by a strange animal while protecting his wife and daughter, and gradually transforming into a beastly creature…

The themes of “sins of the father/parental neglect-abuse” are interesting for a werewolf film, as it the idea to opt for body horror, to focus on the slow transformation to parallel the father’s descent into the brutal, alienated and alienating monster that once walked the skin of a man, and i’d never felt like the idea didn’t work or the script didn’t quite click, nor like there was some “filler”.

Nothing like that.

Honestly, it’s far from bad, but it also frustates me as being so close to being straight up a good, because it’s quite decent but it’s bogged down by feeling honestly uneven, starting good, delivering on the tension, on the claustrophobic atmosphere, even managing to make you care more than you’d wager about these characters that at a first glance feel generic… and honestly never proper bloom, despite the good acting, especially by Christopher Abbott (yes, funnily enough) as the father.

That combined with some questionable special effects, some retreads on cliches, the movie never achieves the emotional depth it soughts to, so it ends up feeling incomplete, like something is plain missing, uneven in execution and underdeveloped where it counts in spite of clear effort.

Not bad, at all, just… kinda disappointing, especially considering the talent involved.

Pity.