Krampus: The Reckoning (2015) [REVIEW] | Children Of The Krampus

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What happens when you wanna cash-in by exploiting the latest fad in the christmas horror subgenre, but you don’t have enough time in order to write it from scratch and push it out of the door in order to maximize exposure? Continua a leggere “Krampus: The Reckoning (2015) [REVIEW] | Children Of The Krampus”

[EXPRESSO] Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) | Let’s get this over with

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Yeah, why not, let’s review this one and hopefully after some weeks “the discourse” on social media will have died, until a new trilogy is planned and we’ll all do this dance again.

So, i don’t particularly like or dislike Star Wars (like most peoples, i do like the simple idea of fairy tales in space with beam swords, weird looking aliens, magic, sci-fi and shit), but i’ll watch them, why not, and while i wasn’t feeling it with The Force Awakens, i got a new found appreciation for it, because at least it was a good repackaging/best of.

Now, this was gonna be a mess anyway, since J.J. Abrams for some reason wasn’t director and writer on all the trilogy, which brought us the quite good The Last Jedi, but also this, a movie that not only is far different from the one before, but basically tries to undo and retcon most of what was said there, like it has to “fix” many plot points in order to basically re-do Return of The Jedi.

Hell, they even bring Palpatine back, which is both good and bad, because it’s a tacit admission that they can’t do any better than reharsh the same old shit, without adding anything to it, in fact a notable regression, stuffed full of fanservice in a nakedly cynical bid to appease a fanbase that will never be appeased regardless, and with a script that’s embarassing, with plot points pulled out of the arse all over the place.

I mean, it’s still less boring than senate hearings of a galaxy far far away, yeah, but it’s a complete mess of a story, at least it’s the kind of bad that ‘s watchable and goes by relatively fast. MH.

Well, time to finally watch Parasite for me!

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Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013) [REVIEW] | Krampus Rip My Flesh

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While most people are aware of Michael Dougherty’s Krampus movie from 2015, it wasn’t the first horror movie about the mythological figure of the Krampus, which became a horror sub-sub-genre from the early 2010’s onwards, and i guess you could say Jason Hull’s 2013 movie kickstarted this “krampusxploitation” movement, the Krampus itself had been subject of some tv series episodes, but not a feature lenght film. Continua a leggere “Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013) [REVIEW] | Krampus Rip My Flesh”

Oneechanbara 2 / Zombie Hunters 2 PS2 [REVIEW] | Exploitation Time Again

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As promised, to celebrate the release of Oneechanbara Origins this 5th of December, here’s the review of the second Oneechanbara title, specifically the revision/upgrade The Oneechampon: The Onechan 2 Special Chapter, released in Europe as Zombie Hunters 2 (Zombie Hunters being the upgraded/revised version of the first Oneechanbara game), the vanilla version of Oneechanbara 2 never left Japan at all.

Yeah, once again, it was never released in the U.S., was released in PAL territories under a budget label, but there aren’t many copies around, so nowadays commands quite a lot of cash on the second hand market, not as rare and pricey as Kuon for PS2, but still, 60/70 bucks for this (i found it at a convention booth for 15 bucks, otherwise i wouldn’t have bothered) is a frigging lot, so much it’s a lot cheaper to just buy the japanese version. Or just emulate it, that’s an option. Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara 2 / Zombie Hunters 2 PS2 [REVIEW] | Exploitation Time Again”

Krampusploitation is a-coming

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This time i decided to make myself a present by not watching & reviewing another crappy krampus or christmas horror movie, so instead i’m reviewing (re-reviewing, i’ve done them for the italian blog years ago, but i’ve rewritten them from scratch) 4 Krampus themed/titled movies, all terrible.

If you wanna watch something good about the “Christmas Devil”, i recommend Rare Exports and Michael Dougherty’s Krampus, definitely not the ones you’re gonna see reviewed in the coming days.

And an Expresso review of Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker is coming next week, gonna get that done as soon as possible, i don’t particularly care, but it’s kinda an obligation, i feel, since i do what i do. Oh well.

 

[EXPRESSO] Knives Out (2019) | Ye Ol’ Murder Mistery

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The short of it: it’s quite good, as you’ve probably already heard said by many others, and i do recommend you check it out in theathers.

The plot concerns the death of successful novelist Halan Thrombey on the day after his 85th birthday, celebrated with family and guests the night before. Assisting the police in unraveling the situation is famous detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig), who surveys the interrogatories of the numerous Thrombey family members, scrutinizing possible motives and alibis, as everyone could have gained something, and the already complex family affairs are complicated further when Blanc has the intuition of Martha, Halan’s young nursemaid, being at the center of it all…

Here we have Rian Johnson (Brick, Looper, Star Wars: The Last Jedi) taking on the typical mistery murder format and – as you probably heard elsewhere – doing a “table flip” on the narrative structure and flow you expect from a murder mistery movie, but without being a pointless exercise in subvertion for it’s own sake, as it is still a murder mistery about a dead patriarch and his vile, grubby offsprings, after all, with a sense of humour (like the bit where they see a spanish dubbed Murder, She Wrote episode), an amazing ensemble cast of famous actors, and a tight script that plays well with expectations, and even if you get what’s it gonna go for, it’s still intriguing see the mistery unraveled knot by knot.

And, as a “plus”, it’s quite fun, well paced, and doesn’t stretch things out more than it needs. It’s not the movie of the year, but being just quite good is more than enough, and there’s very little else to say without going into spoilers.

So i’m just gonna share this unrelated thought: hope the new Black Christmas remake is any good.

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Oneechanbara/Zombie Zone PS2 [REVIEW] | Blood Boobs Celebration

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This 5th of december D3 Publisher has released Oneechanbara Origins, a remake of the first two Oneechanbara games, for PS4. In Japan, at least, but for the occasion i will review the original PS2 games, using their rare european releases, because of course i own them (why wouldn’t i?).

Let’s start with – what else – Oneechanbara, the first one, released in Europe as Zombie Zone, and for it’s upgraded version, The Oneechanpuru – The Onechan Special Chapter, released as Zombie Hunters in Europe (yet again). I will cover that in a separate article, when i can i find a working copy and i have some extra, extra cash. Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara/Zombie Zone PS2 [REVIEW] | Blood Boobs Celebration”

[EXPRESSO] Depeche Mode: Spirits In The Forest (2019) | Private Live

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Cards on the table: i LOVE Depeche Mode, it’s one of my favorite bands of all time, and i’d argue one of the most influential overall, and i could go on, but it’s a review and i’m no proctologist.

Many bands had their work translated into a feature length movie, often in a more typical narrative fashion, with a plot crafted around the history of the band and it’s members, but also in more odd, ambitious fashions, like the hybrid of animated movie and music video of Interstella 5555, or Metallica: Through The Never, which went for live-action story mixed with live recordings.

Spirits In The Forest goes for a mix of live recordings from the 2017/2018 Global Spirit Tour, specifically the performance at Berlin’s Waldbühne (“Forest Stage”), and private cinema, with the intimate stories of six special Depeche Mode fans, filmed in their respective hometowns, talking about how the band’s music impacted their lives and connected with them, regardless of age, religion, language barriers, etc.

At it’s heart, Anton Corbjin’s (better know for Control, the biopic on Joy Division’s Ian Curtis) docu-film has the typical message about the power of music to unite people regardless of the many barriers and differences life inevitably confronts us with, but it does so in a smart way, not focusing on explaining pointless stuff like “what is Depeche Mode?”, or why the band is still so beloved today, but on the experiences of regular folks that are fans of the band AND do have interesting stories to tell, personal stories from different realities.

They are presented in a sincere fashion, never becoming indirect propaganda, with a good balance between these recollections and the live segments from the aforementioned Forest Stage performance in Berlin, and a concise runtime.

A bit envious i wasn’t there, gotta admit.

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About that redesigned Sonic The Hedgehog…

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So yes, as announced after the huge (and in retrospect, highly predictable) backlash the original design shown in the first trailer, they scrapped that eldritch thing, and came back today with a new trailer, which shows some new scenes, and a new redesigned Sonic that’s a fuckton more pleasing to look at.

As i said before, i was kinda against this, for two reasons. Continua a leggere “About that redesigned Sonic The Hedgehog…”

[EXPRESSO] My Name Is Dolemite (2019) | Rat Soup

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Time for me to get some use out my Netflix subscription, and this wasn’t gonna screen in Italy anyway.

Shame, because the idea of a biopic about Rudy Ray Moore, the comedian better known to film buffs as his character Dolemite, starring in the eponymous movie and the sequel The Human Tornado (and many others), is a great idea. Especially the first Dolemite is a legendary and beloved piece of blaxploitation cinema, one of the few films where the boom mic is visibly in the movie more than the villain, and with overall quality rivalled only by stuff like The Guy From Harlem.

Telling the story of Rudy Ray Moore, an aspiring 70s Los Angeles comedian that manages to finally find success with his alter-ego/character of Dolemite, a foul mouthed motherfucker in pimp attire, leading to do some comedy records, which brings him some fame and money, all risked to make a movie about the character, in spite of everyone’s advice and good ol’ common sense (like a 70’s black version of Ed Wood, in a way), but Rudy is not gonna have it any other way.

While it’s even better for film buffs that already knew of the story, it’s an amazing portrait of a man struggling to make his name known, to realize it’s dream, and his ambivalent relantioship to the Dolemite persona he doesn’t really identify with after all, but can’t also give up. And isn’t exactly a flattering portrait, but it shouldn’t be, and the script has a perfect balance of goofy and serious, with space for more somber (and not somber) self-reflection, but also to lovingly recreate ridiculous scenes from the first Dolemite movie, with a top notch cast (which includes Snoop Dogg/Lion), especially Eddie Murphy who is killing it as Rudy/Dolemite.

He ain’t lying.

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