[EXPRESSO] The New Mutants (2020) | Teen Mutant Nightmares

FIY: seen in a theather in Italy with social distancing measures, mask and stuff.

Aside from the bad timing (at least for US viewers), i’m glad it’s finally out, as The New Mutants had a troubled production history, and was in development hell for years, enough that i wouldn’t have been surprised if some months ago Disney pulled the plug on theproject all together. And it’s a theatherical release because of the years old deal (Fox was still un-absorbed) that forced Disney to put in cinemas first.

Quite likely the truly last remnant from the X-Men movie series as conceived by Fox, this is an interesting proposition even if it didn’t have this unfortunate production history, because it’s a superhero horror movie, we definitely don’t get many of those.

The plot centers around 5 young mutants, who have been brought to a special asylum in order to help them get a better control over their powers… but it soon turns out they have been locked, to be studied and observed. The group will have to confront their fears and unite their efforts if they wanna escape from the mysterious doctor that keep them locked like rats.

A lot of articles drew comparisons to the Nightmare In Elm Street III: Dream Warriors.. which i didn’t saw, but even with some general horror knowledge, these comparisons make sense, in ways i won’t explain because inherently spoilers. But even so, in this form sponged of direct connections with the X-Men movie series, The New Mutants is a pretty cool movie that balances well the teen drama (and romance) with the superhero and horror elements. Teen horror, i feel the need to point that out, so don’t expect much in the way of gore, but you get some cool action scenes and likeable characters.

Megalodon/Sharkzilla (2002) [REVIEW] | Karcharíasdontas

Megalodon AKA Sharkzilla 2002.png

Time for more confusing re-titling of shark movies, as there’s a tv movie from 2012 actually called Sharkzilla, but the old 2002 Megalodon (yeah, originality isn’t this subgenre forte, as there’s yet another movie called “Megalodon” that was released in 2018) was released on DVD in the UK as Sharkzilla, de facto just putting a lick of paint over a + 10 years old movie to fool people into thinking it’s a crappy new release.

Lovely confusion-based marketing, par for the course for this strain of shark shit, so much than in Germany was sold as “Jurassic Shark 3” (there no Jurassic Shark 2, and i thank the heavens for it)! Then again, i paid it less than 5 bucks, total, so… Continua a leggere “Megalodon/Sharkzilla (2002) [REVIEW] | Karcharíasdontas”

Gamera The Complete Collection UK BLURAY [REVIEW] | Absolute Pristine Turtle Meat, Really Neat

Gamera The Complete Collection UK complete set

Arrow Video keeps being a shining beacon of light in a world where companies are planning to stop making physical media all together, so they can hold properties hostage on another streaming service with no guarantee film and series will always be there, or there in a matter of months, for that matter.

This time they bring us a collection that will make kaiju fans furiously ejaculate, and for good reason, as there wasn’t any complete collection of the beloved Gamera series, there were some boxsets for the North American market, but nothing complete, and here in Europe TM we got it far worse, Italy especially, as they brought only 5 five of the Showa Era, often calling Gamera “The Great King” and retitling the movies to imply it’s Godzilla or King Kong, with craptacular marquee artworks to boot.

But now it’s all good again, as this boxset (which i preordered as soon as i saw it) is shipping worlwide, and it’s all english… but it’s also a limited release, so i’m just gonna say this to interested fans: stop reading, and get it RIGHT NOW, this is pricey and there aren’t gonna be that many copies around, so just go. Definitely worth the price, it’s not cheap, at all, but it’s worth every single cent. Continua a leggere “Gamera The Complete Collection UK BLURAY [REVIEW] | Absolute Pristine Turtle Meat, Really Neat”

[EXPRESSO] Tenet (2020) | Time After Time

Tenet_movie_poster.jpg

Ah, yes, Christopher Nolan tale of Batman against one of his most obscure villain, Palyndrome. Or maybe it’s a live-action Tin Tin adaptation in disguise.

FIY: i watched this in theathers with social distancing enabled, but then again, i remember i’m Italy-based, which happens to be kinda lucky for me in this particular istance. Don’t go to theathers if there any chance to get the plague, not worthy it.

So, Nolan is back into the game, bringing his lavish and twisting narratives into the spy movie genre, with Tenet, where a CIA agent gets recruited for a secret mission, launched into action only knowing the word “Tenet” and that at stake is avoiding World War III. Oh yes, also, there is time travel involved, so good luck.

Like most movies that center their story about time travel, Tenet has his own specific rules (outside of the obvious ones like paradoxes), which are unique, but are also a bit confusing. The script and direction by Nolan help juggle all the time travel hubba without leaving plot holes or anything like that, but at times, even with some choices made specifically to avoid them being confusing – or more confusing -… some scenes feel too busy, way too busy. Even so, it’s always quite the spectacle, even when you aren’t exactly sure what exactly is happening, a highly entertaining spectacle, the plot is worth watching unravel all the way through its 2 hours runtime, and you have a great cast (as expected) with John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Kenneth Branagah, Elizabeth Debicki, Hamish Patel.

Oh, yes, Michael Caine is in the movie for 5 minutes, being very british.

Good movie, even if at times confusing (not incomprensihible, but confusing), and with a tone that feel a bit too “composed”, even for Nolan.

expresso-icona

Open Water (2003) [REVIEW] | Fear Of The Shark

Open Water 2003.png

Didn’t plan to review this, but suddendly i saw “this film will be unavailable the 31 of august”. Thanks, Amazon Prime Video, wanna remove first some garbage that probably isn’t even really licensed so much as “uploaded” by random persons? No? Thank you.

So anyway, Open Water, the first one of the not-series, as there are two more, but there’s no story continuity, and the second one often isn’t even titled as a sequel, which is fairly common for these realm of horror thriller about killer animals… or killer anything, to be even more honest, and pretty any distribution company “has” to have it’s own shark series with movies that just add numbers at the end of titles and share the same overall concept or premise.This is Lionsgate’s. Continua a leggere “Open Water (2003) [REVIEW] | Fear Of The Shark”

[EXPRESSO] Siberia (2020) | LSD: Dream Dafoe Emulator

Siberia 2020 poster.jpg

Abel Ferrara’s last movie, a German-Italian-Mexican co-production…it’s definitely a movie. That you can watch in theather right now (at least in Italy)… i wouldn’t exactly recommend it.

Siberia, to be fair, at heart it’s an Abel Ferrara movie, focusing on sinners and outcasts searching – with futile attempts – for some redemption. Here we have Clint (William Dafoe), going out into the siberian tundra and embarking on a dreamlike quest to confront his own subconscious and past in a non-cronological narrative.

Problem is, while none of really complicated (or cryptic), the movie feels the need to constantly stop itself to basically overexplain the internal conflicts of the character out loud, or have scenes that feel weird for the sake of it (in hindsight, a power drill killing scene could have happened), or made downright pointless in the long run.

Even when it’s fairly clear what’s going on, even if you “get it”, you will still want to ask what the point of that was, more…annoyed than actually confused by the imagery and some really random exchanges that don’t really connect to anything. It doesn’t help that – for whatever reason – in the italian theatherical version William Dafoe clearly isn’t dubbed, so he speaks in italian with such a BAD, laughable german-russian accent it’s literally impossible to take anything he says with any degree of seriousness.

This isn’t a nitpick, i fully mean it.

I’ll say this: it isn’t boring or predictable, but i found myself more asking if it’s really just a 90 minutes movie, not really intrigued by most of the events and what they say about Clint, nor really that curious to see where exactly the narrative is going.
Fitting end, i must admit.

I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that (at all), but i didn’t like it.

americano-icona

Die Rezensionen In Florenz

vlcsnap-2017-02-26-11h13m26s444.jpg

As i read of the AV Club decision to not review The New Mutants, not because of any bias, but because the otherwise reasonable request to pay for a movie in theathers once for a critic…. it’s absurd and dangerous in the United States, were the pandemic is still in full swing, but theather chains still want to push big releases through or get people into seats by making tickets 75 cents (plus a decent probability of black death).

The AV Club has my utmost respect for this, indeed this is not a risk worth it, even for people willing to take it, this is actually a sensible decision. Potential COVID infection is not worth it for a review of any movie. Just isn’t.

So it feels incredibly odd to me that – by pure chance – i’ve already gone to theathers without any chance of death (then again, it’s kinda hard to say since yesterday i saw Gretel And Hansel in an otherwise completely empty movie theather room), and so this week i will just go, watch and then review Tenet,  just because i happen to live in Italy and the actual circumstances of this means i probably won’t die

This isn’t gloating, this isn’t boasting (as i’ve basically done nothing to deserve it), this isn’t good ol schaudenfraude, it just seems so odd, so surreal to me that i will have a review out for The New Mutants (between a One Piece retrospective and a shark movie review) earlier than most foreign sites i use to keep up with global releases and stuff.

Just…. odd.

[EXPRESSO] Gretel And Hansel (2020) | Coming Of Mage

Gretel_&_Hansel_-_A_Grim_Fairy_Tale_theatrical_poster.jpeg

With this one i didn’t check any of the “discourse” or reviews from the american press beforehand, i just guessed it was a retelling of the Brothers Grimm’ fairytale focusing on Gretel’s viewpoint, and it’s not as gratuitous as it may seem at a glance, since Gretel is indeed the one to figure out the witch’s plan and ultimately kill the cannibal old hexe.

While many aspects of the story are changed or done away with as with the abandoning routine (among other things, but i’ll keep it spoiler free), the focal points are mostly kept, so we see the two siblings wandering in the woods in search of food and shelter, stumbing upon a house where a kind old woman treats the two to delicious banquets, gives them a place to stay at, and teaches them how to chop wood, how to treat illness, etc. Especially to Gretel, which might have the same epiphany as Ichigo Kurosaki…

It’s a horror retelling that leans even more into the supernatural elements, as to further enhance the absolute misery of medieval poverty, of sickness and dirt, and centers on Gretel mostly, basically turning the fable into a coming of age story, with magic, axes, great photography, amazing atmosphere, pretty good character and great acting. And as it’s the usual, any theme of feminist empowerment is made better by baskets of guts, with some grisly imagery that’s not overused.

The bigger issue would be the pacing…. i guess, Oz Perkin’s take on this fairytale it’s not a fast moving one, but it’s not that slow as other people seem to think it is, it’s exactly as long and fittingly paced as it needs to be, i feel. Then again, i saw people arguing this “actually” isn’t a horror movie (yes, yet again), so…..

expresso-icona

One Piece: Take Aim! The Pirate Baseball King! (2004) [REVIEW] | Babe Ruth No Mi

One Piece Take Aim The Pirate Baseball King 2004.png

Director: unknown
Writer: unknown

The third featurette, and so far the last to be a theathrical short, as it played before the One Piece movie The Cursed Holy Sword, and like the previous featurettes, has bugger all to do with the subject of the movie. I would argue the movie itself has almost no business being a One Piece movie and seem like a rejected script for a completely different franchise….but this is not the place. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Take Aim! The Pirate Baseball King! (2004) [REVIEW] | Babe Ruth No Mi”