[EXPRESSO] Gemini Man (2019) | I, Will Smith

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Based on a 70’s tv series i have never seen (heard the name, but that’s it), this movie has spent his fair amount of time in development hell, it seems. But even if i didn’t made some research before watching, it still would seem like a movie from decades ago, defrosted now due to the technology permitting to have an actor and a young, de-aged version of same actor on screen and making them interact in a believable fashion.

The premise sees Henry Brogan (played by Will Smith) as one of the most talented snipers the US government ever, now wishing to retire. The news isn’t taken well so he’s framed by an old aquaintance of his, that in meantime carried on the Gemini project, and unleashes a younger and zealous version of Henry at him, when everything else fails. Henry (aided by an old friend and a D.E.A. agent that had the misfortune of knowing about him) so tries to stop his younger clone and to steer him away from his path…

Technically impressive, with some decent-good action scenes, themes fairly typical of Ang Lee’s cinema, the movie has a good – albeit not original and kinda retrò – premise, and you want to see it fulfilled… but it never truly does. Performances are mostly good, but the script really isn’t up to snuff, it too seems unearthed after a decade or two, with some minor upgrades (like drones), and it’s the big bad problem here.

Doesn’t help that the supporting characters are… definitely there in the scene with a purpose, the romance is fairly bland (inoffensive, but also dated), and the dialogue isn’t anything to write home either. Pity. 😦

At the very least, it’s miles, miles better (even as basic entertaiment value go) than Rambo V, so… It’s alright, kinda.

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[EXPRESSO] Yesterday (2019) | Beatles Beatles No Mi

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Preface: i never saw Across The Universe.

I don’t know how much (or if) it matters, but keep that in mind.

I’m not even a particularly big Beatles fan, but hey, Danny Boyle at the helm, i couldn’t refuse, especially with an original premise like this. Jack struggles to make it as a music star between shifts at the supermarket he works, and despite his best friend/crush egging him to persevere, he at last gives it up. But he’s hit by a bus (coincidentally timed with a worlwide lights out, not a truck, this isn’t an isekai), and when he gets out of the hospital he realizes everyone else in the world has forgotten the Beatles and their music, it’s not a joke of sorts from his pals.

So he decides to use this miracolous opportunity to relaunch his music career by singing Beatles’ songs as his own, which eventually leads him to stardom, fame, fortune, to the success he wished for, in an inescapable spiral that Jack find himself trapped in as time goes on, because for all the others know, the Beatles were never a thing, which is fortunate since Jack doesn’t even precisely know by memory the lyrics for every song.

And i’d argue it’s one of the best movie i’ve seen this year. A great balance of great comedy, romance and music that tackle to the importance (or lack there of) of the author, the meaning of legacy and respect in a business that eats you and spits you out in a snap, with an amazing cast of hilarious supporting characters (his weed enthusiast best friend, his absent minded and mildly dismissing parents, and Ed Sheeran as himself), a satisfying romance that never gets too mushy or depressing, amazing editing and radiant attitude.

It’s very good, indeed.

Recommended.

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[EXPRESSO] Tolkien (2019) | Warlocks & Dragons

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Preface: i didn’t read any of the novels of mr. Tolkien, i didn’t knew what
his actual life was like, i watched the Lord Of The Rings movies. That’s it, that’s how much i knew before seeing this in theathers. That, and how the Tolkien family didn’t approve or endorse the motion picture.

So i didn’t exactly know what to expect, besides the obvious. And frankly you just get that, the expected from a dramatized biopic of a fantasy author. We start in media res when J.R. Tolkien is figthting in the trenches of WWI while searching disperately for one of his friends, and he struggles to survive we get to see his life with his brother and mother living in slums, then as orphans in the foster home of an Ofxord aristocratic lady that took them in, his romance with Edith, another orphan already under her wings, and his circle of friends made at the Ofxord university.

Tying this all together is Tolkien passion for creating stories, legends of magic and fantasy lands, great dangers and journey, even going so far as to create a new alphabet and language specifically for his tales, which carries over in significant event of his life and here is made to create parallel with his fantasy creations, and the struggle to make the unevitable truths of life better with the power of art, and how it lead to him writing the Hobbit, etc etc.

It’s got a decent-good cast, a very good scenography, likeable characters, it’s heart it’s in the right place, and it’s not like it undermines its own point or anything like that.

But it’s also a very standard romanticized biopic of a creative’s troubled life, it’s decent, fairly enjoyable, but, you’ve already seen this before, and done better.

It’s alright.

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[EXPRESSO] City Hunter: Private Eyes (2019) | 2019t Ol’ Comedy Hammers

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I wasn’t sure about reviewing this one.

I mean, ultimately i’m more familiar with Cinderella Boy than City Hunter (including it’s forgotten live action adaptation where Jackie Chan – also – plays Chun Li), i don’t have any real nostalgia, and i was surprised to learn Private Eyes it’s the fourth feature lenght for the series, the last in 29 years. Yeah, it’s been a while.

But why not, as here in Italy it’s the first of the new “anime for cinemas” batch?

In any case, you don’t need to know much (or anything really) about the series to watch this one. It’s an old fashioned action crime comedy, where we follow the oddjobs undertaken by private detective Ryo Saeba, the titular “City Hunter” (amazing shot and fighter, but an unpenitent and perpetually unsuccesfull perv) and her assistant Kaori Makimura (a tomboyish girl prone to punish Ryo’s perviness via classic anime comedy hammer), with some romance between them simmering in the back between cases.

Here, Ryo and Kaori are commissioned to protect Ai Shindo, a model who it’s being targeted for unknow purposes, which makes Kaori casually reunite with her childhood friend, almost unrecognizable as the CEO of the massive company Dominatech (yeah), and Ai’s father is involved…. Yeah, the plot isn’t really anything that needs further explanation, it’s fairly clichè, as is the villain, but it’s as good as needed for the main selling point of the movie: nostalgia.

It’s not a bad movie, at all, but besides some minor upgrades like drones (and the animation), it’s an 80s anime movie all the way, so much there’s a cameo from the Cat’s Eye protagonists. Which is fine, but the style of comedy is really, typical of the era whence City Hunter came from, and REALLY outdated.

Decent fun, still.

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[EXPRESSO] Stuber (2019) | Please 5 Star Me

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Here the floodgates have been lifted, so to say, and way too many movies came out last week in cinemas (hence why i missed Submergence by Wim Wenders, and why there won’t be an EXPRESSO review of it). I choose Stuber, mostly because of Bautista and Nanjani being in it, though the title is amusingly goofy enough.

Kumail Nanjani here is Stu, who alternates between his crappy job at a super store and his Uber career, trying to keep his star ratings up while having to deal with a douchy boss, the fickle variety of Uber customers, and an uncomfortable love-friend relationship with his crush. One day is called for an Uber drive by Dave Bautista (the character has a name, but who cares), playing a buff, grouchy and violent cop who is still obsessing over the death of his partner and wants to solve the case, stringing Stu along for his vendetta, who’d rather go to his lady friend/fuck buddy.

It’s a typical buddy comedy at heart, with two characters that couldn’t be more opposite to each other, forced to work together by the circumstances despite hating each other, that eventually develop a sense of camaraderie and mutual rispect, etc etc. There’s nothing new in this regard, and the characters are fairly stock, but deliberately so, with Kumail Nanjani and Dave Bautista doing the typical role you’d expect from them, the story is also clichè, but it’s done in a comfy way, not by making an half hassed parody of the genre, or a tribute, but just updating it for the “era” without misguided attempts to be subversive for no reason, or shame of being “just” a buddy comedy.

And ultimately, it’s really, really funny, great cast, fun script.

A fun crime comedy romp with Drax and Kumail Nanjani.

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[EXPRESSO] Il Signor Diavolo (2019) | “Superstition, fear, and jealousy”

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To most of you in the english speaking regions, the name Pupi Avati most likely doesn’t ring a bell., but movie buffs may remember him as the director of The House With The Laughing Windows, and this movie (title translates to “Mr. Devil”, roughly, and came out a couple of days ago in Italy) marks its return to the horror genre since 1996’s The Mysterious Enchanter.

Set in the northern Italy of 1952, the movie follows a ministry inspector, Furiò (yes, with an “i”) Momentè, tasked to clean the reputation of the church regarding the murder of a teen, believed to be possessed by the locals, killed by a fourtheen year old boy named Carl. As he travels to Venice to investigate, he reads the reports of previous interrogatories with the boy, learning of how Carl and his friend Paul lived happily, until the arrival of Emilio, the deformed single heir of a powerful woman, and popular opinion is that he tore to pieces his own little sister.

Paul shows off and publicly humiliates Emilio, whom, angered, snarls at him with monstruous teeth, and weird things start happening in the archaic small town, still largely beholden to supersistion and a tangible, fearful belief in the Devil.

It’s an old school horror movie, in many ways (there some practical gore done by Sergio Stivaletti, better known for his work with Dario Argento), with a good atmosphere, and it’s intriguing to see the inspector wading through the files and trying to discern the truth, wrapped as it is in a shroud of confusion and beliefs borne from pious peasant minds prone to burn the witch, all serving a conflict of religious and political interests, with an ambiguous but satisfying outcome.

Quite good, despite the “slo-mo” effects being a little too “old school”.

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Don’t expect a review of the Lion King remake

Just figure i’d say it fiy, but don’t expect a review of The Lion King “live-action” (whatever the fuck it is) remake anytime soon. I refuse, after seeing the Dumbo live-action i’ve basically had enough, Disney clearly doesn’t care at all, no need to, so why bother? The dobloons will pour in anyway.

I’m not saying i won’t review it EVER, i’m saying i’m not seeing it in theathers, maybe in a couple years or if a want to go on a “live-action remake” review spree, these movies aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, come on.

Sorry, i just can’t force myself to care, even for a quick EXPRESSO review, it ain’t worth just to say Kemono Friends characters emote better.

I’ll have a review of another recent italian horror movie, so look forward to that.

Bye!

Shark Shock (2017) [REVIEW]| Rednecks VS Electro Shark

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Sans Peter Gabriel. Sadly.

It’s worth noting right away that you might already have seen this, it’s Trailer Park Shark, retitled as Shark Shock for the UK DVD release i bought. I would lament about the dvd cover (shown above) being false adverting, but there are jet skis and trailers in the movie, water though is far from crystaline since it takes place (and is filmed) in Lousiana, with waters as murky and brown as you can get. Continua a leggere “Shark Shock (2017) [REVIEW]| Rednecks VS Electro Shark”

[EXPRESSO] The Nest (2019) | Scrambled, Scrambled Eggs

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Oddly enough as it may sound, there’s not many italian horror movies screening in cinemas here in Italy.

So when i saw the trailer for The Nest, i was intrigued, even more because it didn’t look like one of those (relatively) cheap production when it clearly redubbed despite being filmed in Italy and with a lot of italians in the cast, like The Music Box/Il Carillon.

The story involves a wheelchair bound boy, Samuel, who is raised in this humongous estate, treated with a princely respect by his family and servants, all bound to the estate by a rigid set of rules set to ensur “the program” is respected at all costs. But Samuel feels more and more like a caged songbird, moved around by the wishes of his stern mother, even more restless due to the recent weird happenings and the arrival of a young girl called Denise..

The Nest is a movie with some good performances, a good atmosphere, an intriguing plot revolving the cultish family and the drama that inevitably festers in an enviroment like that, but it’s also a movie that reminded me of Hereditary. And i don’t mean that as a compliment, but here it truly feels like the horror parts were forced in by a producer, as they stick out like a sore thumb, underveloped, clichè and almost vestigial.

Then… the ending, which i’m just gonna spoil because it’s so fuckin stupid it deserves shame. Zombies. Out of nowhere, i’m sure the scriptwriter thought he established it before, but it didn’t, at all. I hate this ending because it doesn’t gel with anything, and reminded me of the shit Fragasso and Mattei pulled in the 80’s, i truly hate to say this about a movie with some self-respect and ambition.

Decent, but frustratingly uneven.

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P.S.: It’s worth noting that there’s another movie simply called “The Nest” , it’s a 2016 fairly obscure italo-swiss production (so it explains why they named this one “The Nest – Il Nido”), directed by Klaudia Reynicke, maybe more talked about after Love Me Tender, her new movie which had its debut in Swiss cinemas this 9th of august.

[EXPRESSO] Crawl (2019) | Lator Gator

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My first thought when i heard the subject was: isn’t this like Bait/Shark 3D, but with a crocodile and a house instead of a shark and a submerged mart?

Nothing wrong with it, given how Bait is one of better shark movies of the lot (definitely a fuckton better among the endless pile of exploitation and B-Z cinema the marine predator attracts), and it’s not a rip-off of it anyway, it has a similar premise of being locked in the same location as an aggressive killer animal/monster. Which could also describe Aliens, so let’s just move to the plot.

Haley Keller is an underperforming swimmer, but hasn’t talked with her father (who also was her swimming coach for many years) in a long time, and their parents separated. But she goes to check on him when informed of a hurricane hitting their old house, and they find themselves trapped in the basement with alligators, with the water level constantly rising, and no help in sight.

Because what better bonding experience than trying to survive being eaten by Schnappi’s cousins can you wish for? Alexandra Aja (Piranha 3D, the 2006 The Hills Have Eyes remake, the 2012 Maniac remake, Horns) is back again with a relatively simple premise, one that could be seen in many low budget z-grade movies, but here is executed really well, with some stylish and brutal kills, tense scenes, a well known but still damn brutal primeval creature that’s lethal , no need to crossbred it with octopuses, sharks, isotopes, trilobites, etc.

Great pratical gore, great CG on the alligator, decent kill count, likeable characters, a perfect pace without any dull moment (just some brief moments of reprieve and character building), this has everything you may want from a fun “killer croc/alligator movie”, which are usually not this bloody good.

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